Wanna say something rq - Black hot allostatic load is a theory piece, and I stand by what I said at the time because I lacked further info at the time (because I couldn’t have defended or saved myself if I didn’t know who or what was happening) but there’s a second piece with MUCH more current info on how things evolved - Revenge Is Something You Do With Your Teeth
You see, after publishing B-HAL I had a few months of finally feeling free again, as literally dozens of other transfemmes, Black and non-Black, told me both publicly and privately that they had been through something similar, that until they read MY story, they thought they were some unique monster, rather than it just being one of the default tools of white supremacy.
And then the same people who did this to me, began to cause issues for my roommates, disabled trans folks who I was housing and taking care of for free, for the crime of living with me instead of being homeless. So I decided it was time to say more, since there was not only no remorse but more willing harm.
Since I wrote B-HAL, one of my “victims”, a white trans woman who falsely accused me of “strangling her outside of a queer bar for no reason” then changed her story several times, came out as a literal nazi, sharing national socialist memes and racist bullshit on Twitter and even getting banned from one of the whitest queer orgs in DC for it. Her “detrans” boyfriend who’s still taking estrogen publicly identifies as a “libertarian fascist” because his views are “just too niche”. But there’s no way whites could be lying about a Black trans woman, she’s just “an imperfect victim” and I’m “the dc strangler” who can’t stop lying and raping people.
Another “victim” of mine accused me of sexually assaulting her by giving her an orgasm during what she described as “otherwise consensual sex” to which there was an auditory witness willing to publicly testify on her own that she could hear every time I asked for consent and her enthusiastically giving it, because the walls were thin and she couldn’t NOT hear everything.
Why would that one lie? You see I denied her access to my body after that night because I wasn’t interested in more, whereas she had immediately started to talk about long-term relationship dynamics, and Black people aren’t allowed to tell whites we don’t want to be a glorified sex toy if they want us to be, without being punished and making sure we know our place.
Or more recently, being sexually assaulted but being told it couldn’t have possibly happened and I was lying because I’m a Dommetop and there’s no way she could’ve done that to someone like me, as a pretty little bottom. That I had to be lying, because I have a “pattern of behavior” (of people lying about me with the same one trick because it’s shown over and over it’ll work no matter how badly done)
I still believe in restorative justice. I still believe that if they’re willing to disavow what they’ve done and take that first right step, then keep taking those steps, that they deserve the chance to change and grow.
But Black transfemmes, Brown transfemmes, when they do this to you, and if they double down instead?
Rip their fucking throats out before they get the chance to do it to you or your sisters again, because they WILL try to make you pay for not simply dying like you were supposed to.
stormborns
theartofmadeline
ellievsbear
annaxmalina
baratheonpilled
pixelskylines
