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Hi, my name is [Laura] || she/her || I have no life

[perceval23]

[sirrah1940]

I wouldn't dream of sharing this photo of Wayne LaPierre and Russian Spy Maria Butina.

[sirrah1940]

Oops! I accidentally re-blogged this picture of NRA President WAYNE LA PIERRE and RUSSIAN SPY MARIA BUTINA

I am ashamed

[deathofaromantic]

if you have ever suffered from…

• depression

• anxiety

• eating disorder

• self-harm

• ocd

• bipolar

• feelings of guilt and hopelessness

• suicidal thoughts

can you please reblog to show support for people who also suffer.

you are not alone.

[allitopia]

[prideprejudce]

tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea 

[prideprejudce]

[prideprejudce]

[jenroses]

me, driving down the road obeying all traffic laws also me, simultaneously in my head, explaining to a nonexistent cop who didn’t pull me over how I was obeying all traffic laws.

[basket]

some tiny-titted binch: don't wear bras let your titties live!!!!! i never wear bras!!!!!!!!!

me, a godless titty goblin, made of 90% titty: i haven't taken this bra off for forty years

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[sstudyblr]

not risking it

[tomhardysteeth]

have i ever told y’all about the greatest moment of my academic career

i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t. 

so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley. 

we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.

now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was. 

so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything. 

my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”

i repeated: czolgosz.

my teacher: “who said that?”

i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.

i then had to quietly explain to a room full of people that there’s a musical called assassins and there’s a song about czolgosz shooting william mckinley at the great pan american exposition in buffaloooooooo (in buffaloooooooo)

[kamicokrolock]

The arts are important.

I shocked a teacher once because I could recite the preamble to the US Constitution (got bonus points to), She asked why I’d taken it upon myself to memorize it. I had to explain it was in a School House Rock song….

[sparringwoodpecker]

I shocked church with my ‘math skills’ when they were asking how many seconds in a minute, minutes in an hour, hours in a day, days in a year, now how about minutes in a year - and I call out five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes without pausing to think, cos Rent

[housetohalf]

Once aced a religion class pop quiz that asked me to list all of Jacob’s sons since they’re the names of the 12 tribes of Israel. The one and only time I’ve been thankful for Andrew Lloyd Webber. I even got points for getting the birth order correct.

[archivistofnerddom]

My little brother got extra points in a social studies class once for knowing “O Canada” in its entirely (we’re American and grew up in Maryland, for context) because my older sister went to undergrad in Maine and her acapella group learned the Canadian National Anthem could sing it whenever the hockey teams played Canadian teams.

Who says the arts don’t have real world benefits?

[ignescent]

When i was in high school, my history teacher asked what historic technology caused the biggest alteration in military tactics. I answered stirrups, and explained that the ability to brace against the horse to use a weapon and the better maneuverability vs a chariot created the entire concept of cavalry, which led to modern tactics, etc. The teacher said I was the first student to ever give that answer and that I was basically correct, and then asked where I had found that out. I then had to explain I had read it in a Star Trek novel.

[grlnxtdr30]

My history teacher in high school gave an assignment to write a radio broadcast about the 1914 Christmas Truce, and was shocked that I began my ‘broadcast’ with Attention Mr. And Mrs. America and All the Ships at sea, and ended it with the page instruction ‘drop page.’ He wanted to know how I knew how radio broadcasts started like that back then, and how I new the radio command to cut the sound of rustling paper. I had one word for him. Annie (As in Little Orphan Annie)

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

me, a feminist: it’s important to support m/f ships where she is smarter and overall more badass than him yet he supports her and loves her for her capabilities and not despite them throwing toxic masculinity right out the window.

also me, a known gay: but wouldn’t it just be great if she had an equally intelligent and badass girlfriend instead?

[what-is-going-on-stuff]

Maybe the real problem is we don’t have enough F/F or healthy F/M relationships so we feel like we have to choose

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

[saltinthewounds]

anyone else here gay and losing their mind 

[c3po]

sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch

[thecouchwitch]

Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.

[varkarrus-deactivated20200511]

mr krabs would’ve voted trump

[kaiju-lightning]

Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.

[questions-within-questions]

Plankton would’ve voted Trump.

[zarekthelordofthefries]

You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.

[legarcon]

Bubble Bass

[zarekthelordofthefries]

Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.

[the-collecting-turnip-deactivat]

Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump

[fgsshinyhoard]

okay im just gonna put down my things here

- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him

- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him

- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him.  Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.

- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone

- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.

- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.

- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote

- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.

- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.

- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.

- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.

[wizardposting666]

Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

[randomwordgeneratorr]

[wondervillain]

Someone really went out there and wrote the thing

A fake marriage between two best friends because they need money? SIGN ME UP.

I only read the first four chapters, so I don’t really know how the story will unfold, but I’m definitely buying the book. I can’t believe a book was written specially for me.

btw the book is called Marriage of Unconvenience by Chelsea M. Cameron.

[wondervillain]

List of things in this book:

1. Fake marriage

2. Childhood best friends falling in love

3. Cate Blanchett in suits mention

4. Slow burn

5. They are so ooblivious its painful

6. They share a bed

7. They go live together

8. Did I mention that someone actually went out there and actually published a lesbian fake dating story? I could kiss them.

[feeforcuriosity]

x

[missmentelle]

This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:

How to unclog a toilet without a plunger

How to fix a blown fuse

How to fix a leaky faucet 

How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower

How to escape from a house fire

How to make a budget and stick to it

How to sharpen a knife

How to clean a self-cleaning oven

How to clean red wine stains from carpet

How to clean blood stains from fabric

How to clean grease stains from fabric

How to do a load of laundry

How to iron your clothes

How to test your smoke detectors

Cooking Skills:

How to tell if produce is ripe

How to know if food is expired 

How to properly sanitize a kitchen

How to cook an egg

How to make rice

How to make pasta

How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely

How to use a gas stove

How to use a convection oven

How to cook meat safely

How to use a stand mixer

How to use kitchen knives properly

How to make mashed potatoes

How to make grilled cheese sandwiches 

Health Skills:

How to stop bleeding

How to treat a burn 

How to do CPR (on an adult)

How to do CPR (on a child)

How to do CPR (on a baby)

How to help someone who is choking

How to save yourself if you are choking alone

How to read a nutrition label

How to treat frostbite

How to recognize when someone is having a stroke

How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule

Mental Health Skills:

How to calm down during a panic attack

How to help someone who is suicidal 

How to meditate 

How to stop self-harming

How to recognize problem drinking

How to choose a therapist

How to deal with disappointment

How to cope with grief

How to raise your self-esteem

Relationship and Social Skills:

How to apologize

How to cope with a breakup 

How to accept criticism 

How to deal with bullying 

How to argue in a healthy way

How to ask someone out

How to break up with someone

How to recognize an abusive relationship

How to rekindle a damaged friendship

How to speak in public

Job Hunting Skills:

How to tie a tie

How to write a resume

How to write a cover letter

How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)

How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)

How to properly shake hands

How to nail a job interview

Other Skills:

How to sew on a button 

How to hammer a nail

How to change your oil

How to put gas in your car

How to jump-start a car

How to pick a good password

How to back up your files

How to write a cheque

[babyanimalgifs]

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

[anarchapella]

Ok but the other one is purring so hard

[valgalart]

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

[excessively-english-jd]

Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.

Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.

[kunaiman]

YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT AND NOT PROVIDE A VIDEO

[excessively-english-jd]

I HAVE REALISED MY MISTAKE AND SHALL RECTIFY IT:

Cheeps.

[thespectacularspider-girl]

Oh my god

[that-stardust-deactivated201902]

I’m dead now

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[blackness-by-your-side]

💯