I wouldn't dream of sharing this photo of Wayne LaPierre and Russian Spy Maria Butina.
Oops! I accidentally re-blogged this picture of NRA President WAYNE LA PIERRE and RUSSIAN SPY MARIA BUTINA
I am ashamed

@theartofmadeline

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@howlterxtrash
I wouldn't dream of sharing this photo of Wayne LaPierre and Russian Spy Maria Butina.
Oops! I accidentally re-blogged this picture of NRA President WAYNE LA PIERRE and RUSSIAN SPY MARIA BUTINA
I am ashamed
if you have ever suffered from…
• depression
• anxiety
• eating disorder
• self-harm
• ocd
• bipolar
• feelings of guilt and hopelessness
• suicidal thoughts
can you please reblog to show support for people who also suffer.
you are not alone.
tbh the best way that i explain to other people what it feels like to live with an anxiety disorder is the one time when i had to get a fingerprint and background check done for a job and i, someone who has never received so much as a speeding ticket my whole life, spent thirty minutes panicking that i would fail because i might secretly be a criminal and have no idea
me, driving down the road obeying all traffic laws also me, simultaneously in my head, explaining to a nonexistent cop who didn’t pull me over how I was obeying all traffic laws.
some tiny-titted binch: don't wear bras let your titties live!!!!! i never wear bras!!!!!!!!!
me, a godless titty goblin, made of 90% titty: i haven't taken this bra off for forty years
I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh
reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life
not risking it
have i ever told y’all about the greatest moment of my academic career
i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t.
so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley.
we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.
now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was.
so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything.
my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”
i repeated: czolgosz.
my teacher: “who said that?”
i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.
i then had to quietly explain to a room full of people that there’s a musical called assassins and there’s a song about czolgosz shooting william mckinley at the great pan american exposition in buffaloooooooo (in buffaloooooooo)
The arts are important.
I shocked a teacher once because I could recite the preamble to the US Constitution (got bonus points to), She asked why I’d taken it upon myself to memorize it. I had to explain it was in a School House Rock song….
I shocked church with my ‘math skills’ when they were asking how many seconds in a minute, minutes in an hour, hours in a day, days in a year, now how about minutes in a year - and I call out five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes without pausing to think, cos Rent
Once aced a religion class pop quiz that asked me to list all of Jacob’s sons since they’re the names of the 12 tribes of Israel. The one and only time I’ve been thankful for Andrew Lloyd Webber. I even got points for getting the birth order correct.
My little brother got extra points in a social studies class once for knowing “O Canada” in its entirely (we’re American and grew up in Maryland, for context) because my older sister went to undergrad in Maine and her acapella group learned the Canadian National Anthem could sing it whenever the hockey teams played Canadian teams.
Who says the arts don’t have real world benefits?
When i was in high school, my history teacher asked what historic technology caused the biggest alteration in military tactics. I answered stirrups, and explained that the ability to brace against the horse to use a weapon and the better maneuverability vs a chariot created the entire concept of cavalry, which led to modern tactics, etc. The teacher said I was the first student to ever give that answer and that I was basically correct, and then asked where I had found that out. I then had to explain I had read it in a Star Trek novel.
My history teacher in high school gave an assignment to write a radio broadcast about the 1914 Christmas Truce, and was shocked that I began my ‘broadcast’ with Attention Mr. And Mrs. America and All the Ships at sea, and ended it with the page instruction ‘drop page.’ He wanted to know how I knew how radio broadcasts started like that back then, and how I new the radio command to cut the sound of rustling paper. I had one word for him. Annie (As in Little Orphan Annie)
me, a feminist: it’s important to support m/f ships where she is smarter and overall more badass than him yet he supports her and loves her for her capabilities and not despite them throwing toxic masculinity right out the window.
also me, a known gay: but wouldn’t it just be great if she had an equally intelligent and badass girlfriend instead?
Maybe the real problem is we don’t have enough F/F or healthy F/M relationships so we feel like we have to choose
anyone else here gay and losing their mind
sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch
Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.
mr krabs would’ve voted trump
Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.
Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.
Plankton would’ve voted Trump.
You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.
Bubble Bass
Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.
Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump
okay im just gonna put down my things here
- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him
- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him
- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.
- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone
- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.
- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.
- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote
- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.
- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.
- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.
- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.
Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
Someone really went out there and wrote the thing
A fake marriage between two best friends because they need money? SIGN ME UP.
I only read the first four chapters, so I don’t really know how the story will unfold, but I’m definitely buying the book. I can’t believe a book was written specially for me.
btw the book is called Marriage of Unconvenience by Chelsea M. Cameron.
List of things in this book:
1. Fake marriage
2. Childhood best friends falling in love
3. Cate Blanchett in suits mention
4. Slow burn
5. They are so ooblivious its painful
6. They share a bed
7. They go live together
8. Did I mention that someone actually went out there and actually published a lesbian fake dating story? I could kiss them.
This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:
How to unclog a toilet without a plunger
How to fix a blown fuse
How to fix a leaky faucet
How to clean soap scum from your tub and shower
How to escape from a house fire
How to make a budget and stick to it
How to sharpen a knife
How to clean a self-cleaning oven
How to clean red wine stains from carpet
How to clean blood stains from fabric
How to clean grease stains from fabric
How to do a load of laundry
How to iron your clothes
How to test your smoke detectors
Cooking Skills:
How to tell if produce is ripe
How to know if food is expired
How to properly sanitize a kitchen
How to cook an egg
How to make rice
How to make pasta
How to put out a kitchen grease fire safely
How to use a gas stove
How to use a convection oven
How to cook meat safely
How to use a stand mixer
How to use kitchen knives properly
How to make mashed potatoes
How to make grilled cheese sandwiches
Health Skills:
How to stop bleeding
How to treat a burn
How to do CPR (on an adult)
How to do CPR (on a child)
How to do CPR (on a baby)
How to help someone who is choking
How to save yourself if you are choking alone
How to read a nutrition label
How to treat frostbite
How to recognize when someone is having a stroke
How to maintain a healthy sleep schedule
Mental Health Skills:
How to calm down during a panic attack
How to help someone who is suicidal
How to meditate
How to stop self-harming
How to recognize problem drinking
How to choose a therapist
How to deal with disappointment
How to cope with grief
How to raise your self-esteem
Relationship and Social Skills:
How to apologize
How to cope with a breakup
How to accept criticism
How to deal with bullying
How to argue in a healthy way
How to ask someone out
How to break up with someone
How to recognize an abusive relationship
How to rekindle a damaged friendship
How to speak in public
Job Hunting Skills:
How to tie a tie
How to write a resume
How to write a cover letter
How to dress for a job interview (for women/femmes)
How to dress for a job interview (for men/masculines)
How to properly shake hands
How to nail a job interview
Other Skills:
How to sew on a button
How to hammer a nail
How to change your oil
How to put gas in your car
How to jump-start a car
How to pick a good password
How to back up your files
How to write a cheque
I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie
Ok but the other one is purring so hard
If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead
Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.
Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.
YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT AND NOT PROVIDE A VIDEO
I HAVE REALISED MY MISTAKE AND SHALL RECTIFY IT:
Cheeps.
Oh my god
I’m dead now
This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN