Of Two Minds, Ch 9: Obliviate
3.9K words, Remus x OC, Severus x OC, slow burn. Wisteria Nott, a pureblood witch and long-time undercover agent for the Auror office, will play an unexpectedly important role in determining the fate of the Wizarding World in the second war. Although she is an accomplished Legilimens, to deceive the Dark Lord she will need training from a master of Occlumency: Severus Snape
Wisteria’s throat went cold, and she was on her feet, although she didn’t recall standing up.
“Is he —? When did this happen?” she demanded. “Where is he now?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I need to respond.”
He grabbed a quill and quickly scrawled a few words. Wisteria came to his side of the desk to read what was written: “Available to assist. –SS.”
“What did the message say?” she asked.
“Black says Lupin was caught somewhere he shouldn’t be, and he may need to lie low for a few days,” Severus said. “He has a minor injury and is looking for a place to recover.”
The parchment shifted slightly, and Severus used the code word again. Wisteria read over his shoulder.
Thank you for responding. Where can he meet you?
Severus wrote back, “Shrieking Shack.”
He strode across the room and donned his cloak.
“You’re going now?” Wisteria asked.
“You’re not coming,” he said sternly, answering her unasked question.
“We can’t risk it, Wisteria,” he said. “Right now, the priority is making sure he is hidden and safe.”
“I don’t see how,” he replied. “If all goes well, you can see him tomorrow.”
Her eyes were shining as she clutched at his robes. She whimpered, “Please, Severus, please….”
He took her hands and regarded her earnestly.
“Trust me,” he said. “The best thing you can do for Remus is walk back to the Three Broomsticks and be seen returning to your room at a reasonable hour.”
Severus wrapped her cloak around her shoulders.
“I’ll walk with you most of the way,” he said. “First thing in the morning, I’ll come to you and let you know how he is.”
He led her out of the office, down the staircase, through the castle, and into the night. When they were partway down the gravel path on the grounds, Wisteria’s shock wore off and she began to cry quietly. Severus kept a steady, fast pace. He nodded to the man at the edge of the grounds, who opened the gates for them wordlessly. They walked in silence until they reached Hogsmeade.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “He was capable of Apparating, and the injury is minor. I’ll take care of him.”
She nodded. “Thank you, Severus.”
“Wipe your eyes before you enter the inn,” he said. “You’ll hear from me tomorrow morning.”
Wisteria spent most of the evening pacing in her room, wondering how Remus could have been caught, what the nature of his injury was, and why she had not considered staying in London until his return. It might not have changed anything, but she would have been there when he arrived at Grimmauld Place, even tended to his wounds herself.
Around two in the morning, exhaustion defeated her and she fell asleep fully clothed on top of her bedsheets. She woke just before seven with an ache in her neck. Rosmerta would not be up yet, but a brisk walk through the village was as effective as a cup of coffee.
When she returned to the Three Broomsticks around eight, Severus was approaching from the opposite end of the main street. She searched his face for any sign of how Remus was, but he was expressionless.
“Can’t talk about it on the street, can we?” he replied.
She led him through the pub and upstairs to her room, and she was about to speak when Severus pressed a finger to his lips and entered wordlessly. Wisteria shut the door and whispered, “Muffliato.”
Before she could ask, Severus said, “He’s fine.”
She sighed in relief. “Did he tell you what happened?”
“The other night, I passed a message along to Kingsley — with me gone, I wanted someone in London to be aware that you had been attacked by Greyback,” he explained. “Apparently, Lupin had been tailing a Death Eater for several days, and then he transformed for the full moon. When he arrived at Headquarters last night, he heard what had happened and wanted to see you. Of course, you had vacated your room at the Leaky Cauldron.”
“No,” Wisteria whispered, realizing what must have happened, and she covered her mouth with her hand.
“When he Apparated into your room, as he had so many times before, it was occupied,” he said. “We don’t think the guests were supporters of the Dark Lord, necessarily, but in their surprise they did attack Lupin with a Stinging Jinx.”
“Half of his face was hit, but he’s not in pain, and he will recover without scarring,” he said. “The problem is, while Lupin Disapparated immediately, the guests notified the landlord — and many of the other guests — that an intruder with Lupin’s description had Apparated into their room.”
The impact of this hit Wisteria all at once. “And Tom knows — I’ve been using that room for months.”
Severus nodded. “So you see how serious this was.”
“Then I’m compromised, too, Severus,” she whispered.
“Not necessarily,” he said. “Lupin returned with Black, Kingsley, and Weasley, and together, they modified the memories of anyone they suspect might have seen or heard the commotion. They think they got everyone, but we need to watch the situation for a day or two to make sure no one was missed. In the meantime, Lupin needs to lie low and recover…. and while doing this, he wanted to be near you. That’s why Black requested my help.”
Wisteria sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands.
“Severus, this is my fault,” she said. “You were right, I should have listened…. I was so confident that I could protect my mind, but I was careless with Remus. If a Death Eater had taken my room, he could have been killed.”
He folded his arms and watched her curiously.
“I have given you one piece of advice twice now,” he said slowly. “The first time, it was out of my own self-interest. The second, it was for your safety. Now, Wisteria, I’ll tell you once more — this is a dangerous mission. Beyond me, beyond yourself, you risk losing everyone you love. It feels wrong, inhuman, to do this — but the best way to protect the ones you love is to break your attachments to them. The heart is not rational, and as long as you and Remus are involved, there will be mistakes like this.”
Severus’s words hung in the air for a few moments. When Wisteria lifted her head to look at him, there was resolve etched in her face.
“I understand,” she said. “And I agree.”
He regarded her appraisingly.
“I think you are making the right choice,” he said. “Would you like to see Lupin?”
She nodded, and he offered her his hand.
“We’ll Apparate directly into the Shrieking Shack.”
With a pop, they Disapparated, reappearing in a dark hallway.
“He’s in here,” Severus said, and he opened a creaky door.
The room was not much brighter than the hallway, as the windows were boarded up. There looked to be decades of dust accumulated on the floor, and the furniture was all in pieces. A bed at the opposite end of the room was in shreds, but in the center of the mattress was Lupin, fast asleep.
Wisteria went to his side immediately and gently whispered his name. He stirred, and as he turned over, she saw that his right cheek was indeed covered in a red scorch mark, as though burned. Although she knew the wound was fresh, she thought Severus must have used dittany — it looked as though it had already healed a week.
“Wisteria,” he said, sitting up hurriedly and embracing her. She held him close and kissed his cheek. He looked weak and felt cold, as he often did near the full moon. “I was so worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Remus,” she said, releasing him from the hug. “Severus took care of me. I’ve been worried about you.”
“Severus, it seems we’re both in your debt,” Remus called to him.
He folded his arms and shifted uncomfortably. “I’ll take my leave. Wisteria, when you’re finished, Apparate into your room. Lupin, I’ll send food at dusk.”
He left the room and they heard a faint pop in the hallway.
“Severus told me everything that happened,” Wisteria said. “It was my mistake, I should have left word with Sirius the moment I left.”
“Wisteria,” he whispered, taking her face in his hands gently. “Don’t think that way. It was an accident. If anything, it was my fault.”
Without fully understanding why, Wisteria started crying again. He wiped away her silent tears and kissed her cheeks. Pulling her closer, he stroked her back lightly as she sobbed into his shoulder.
“I know what we’re doing is risky,” he said. “But if we let Voldemort rob us of love, then we have lost everything worth fighting for. I love you, Wisteria.”
Her whole body felt hot and cold at the same time — the incomparable happiness of being in love, and knowing she had to break away, was intolerable. She had never said “I love you” before. She wasn’t even sure what those words meant to her, but she knew she felt more tenderly for Remus than anyone she’d met. He put a hand under her chin so she met his gaze, wet lashes framing her brown eyes.
“I don’t need to hear you say it back,” he whispered. “But I want you know to know I mean it.”
Wisteria continued to cry, and Remus continued to comfort her, for what felt like an hour. They reclined in the bed and curled up with each other, and when Wisteria’s tears ran out, they continued to hold each other quietly.
Wisteria noticed, now, all of the scratch marks along the walls and bed frame. She couldn’t resist picturing what Remus experienced here, as a child, and felt heartbroken.
“I can’t imagine what it’s like for you, being back,” she said.
“There’s nowhere I would rather be in the world,” he replied. “Even if it took a Stinging Jinx and a few Memory Charms to get me here.”
It was unbearable to hear him talk this way, knowing what she must do.
“I — I need to go, Remus,” she said.
“I’m meeting Severus. That’s why I’m here, in Hogsmeade,” she said. “We need to keep training.”
He sighed. “At this point, Wisteria, I think you’re a better Occlumens than Severus.”
“It’s not just Occlumency,” she said. “I’m learning about Death Eaters, You-Know-Who, defense against the dark arts… he’s highly skilled, you know.”
“I’m sure he is,” he said. “I wish I got to spend as much time with you as he does.”
“Well, it’s business,” she replied. “Granted, it’s a very intimate business, spying together. It requires intense training, but also delicacy and finesse. And it’s all going to keep us alive.”
He nodded. “You should go to him, then.”
She gave him a swift kiss before leaving, Apparating from the hallway to her room at the Three Broomsticks. An idea had been forming in her head for the past few minutes, and she needed to think it over. After a cup of coffee from Madam Rosmerta, she began the walk to Hogwarts, fully committed to the idea.
With her mind full of activity, she made a wrong turn in the castle, and it took her a few minutes to locate Severus’s office. When she did, she knocked on the door bracingly.
She entered, and Severus lowered his newspaper.
“You’ve been crying,” he remarked. “How did it go?”
“Not well,” she replied. Before he could ask the question, she said, “I didn’t tell him yet.”
“I think I need your help.”
As Wisteria explained her plan to Severus, his brow contracted in a look of concern.
“You surprise me, Wisteria,” he said. “Who knew you were capable of such cruelty?”
“You were the one who said I needed to —”
“It’s a brilliant idea,” he said.
“Really?” she regarded him skeptically. He was smiling curiously. “Why?”
“Well, it’s like you said, isn’t it?” he said, relaxing his expression. “He said he loves you — if that’s true, he’s unlikely to be swayed by an external force, especially if it’s for his own protection. He won’t accept it — he wouldn’t even accept that your relationship caused this mistake, risking his safety and your cover as an agent. It needs to come from you, and betrayal of that magnitude is guaranteed to keep him from contacting you again.”
She nodded and realized she was holding back tears. “It will be a clean cut.”
“But you’re sure it’s believable?” he asked. “Wouldn’t someone else be more suitable?”
“You’re a spy, Severus,” she said. “If anyone could make him believe it, it’s you. And besides that, we spend so much time together. If it weren’t for his trust in me, he would probably be jealous.”
“It also needs to be orchestrated perfectly,” she continued. “If it doesn’t look convincing, he’ll suspect I’m trying to deceive him. What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing, nothing,” he said. “So, what did you have in mind?”
It was difficult, staying away from Remus that evening. Severus returned with his dinner and dittany, but he agreed Wisteria shouldn’t spend time with him — she should play her role convincingly. Time together alone at night was not part of the plan.
The following morning, Severus and Wisteria visited Remus together. The skin on his right cheek was shiny, as though newly grown, but otherwise unremarkable — no one would be able to tell he’d received a Stinging Jinx. Severus had also confirmed with the Order that it would be safe for Remus to leave the hideout at nightfall. There were no lingering rumors of an intruder at the Leaky Cauldron. After delivering the message, Severus departed.
“Finally,” Remus said, pulling Wisteria closer. “I thought he’d never leave.”
She allowed him to kiss her but pried herself out of his embrace delicately with a nervous laugh.
“Remus,” she whispered. “What if we waited a bit — until you leave the Shrieking Shack?”
He smiled sheepishly. “No, you’re right. This isn’t very romantic, is it?”
“But you’re at the Three Broomsticks?”
“I am, in Room 3,” she said. Remus seemed on the verge of asked another question, but Wisteria interrupted, “I’m afraid I can’t stay long either, Remus.”
He looked crestfallen but tried to smile. “That’s a shame. But I’ll see you soon.”
She nodded but was already halfway to the door. “Sure, as soon as you like.”
“Tonight, maybe?” he asked quickly.
She paused at the door but smiled. “Sure.”
Wisteria Disapparated, reappearing in her room. Severus stood by the window and looked at her expectantly.
“He’s coming tonight,” she said.
Several hours later, Wisteria was pacing across her room, the floorboards routinely creaking in the same spot near the window. Severus stood in the center of the room awkwardly, having arrived minutes ago.
“How should I be?” he asked, and Wisteria stopped pacing to consider him carefully.
“Well, to start —” she said. “May I?”
She gestured to his collar. He nodded stiffly, and she unbuttoned his robes, but her nudged her away.
His robes hung loosely on his shoulders, and after thinking for a moment, he discarded them haphazardly on the floor, along with his boots. Severus wore a pair of trousers and a white high-collared shirt, which he unbuttoned halfway. It was strange to see him this way, and she averted her eyes from the sliver of bare chest which peeked through the shirt.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” she said, taking in her own appearance, “but I should probably….”
“Erm… I don’t know,” he replied. “Whatever you think.”
He looked away as Wisteria removed her robes and dress, discarding them on the floor, as well. She adjusted her lilac slip slightly and peeked out the curtains while letting her hair down. The sun had just set, and the brilliant orange light was quickly waning.
“He should be on his way,” Severus said over his shoulder, still looking away.
“I’m sure he is,” she said.
Compared to herself, Wisteria thought Severus still looked overdressed. She approached him from behind and put a hand on the hem of his left sleeve.
But Severus pulled away instinctively, clutching his left wrist with his right hand, and took two steps away. A bit of color drained from his face.
“Don’t —” he began, stopping himself with a huff. Then in a calmer, but still firm voice, he continued, “You startled me.”
It took Wisteria a moment to realize why she had vexed Severus — the Dark Mark was, of course, branded on his left forearm.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” she said.
“It’s alright,” he said stiffly as he unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them up roughly.
“Are you sure you’re up to this? It’s a lot to ask.”
“I’m fine,” he said dismissively. “Now, should you take a seat?”
Wisteria sat on the edge of the bed. Severus paced in front of her.
“Any minute now,” he muttered.
The wood floor creaked outside the door, and they heard a quiet knock. Wisteria clutched at Severus, and he pressed a finger to his lips. Gently, he put on hand on the nape of her neck and indicated that she should lie back on the mattress. He leaned over her, and for good measure, Wisteria slid one leg up so her inner thigh grazed his hip. He shuddered and swallowed, looking anywhere but at Wisteria lying beneath him.
There was another knock, louder.
“Who is there?” Severus called.
“Don’t answer it, Severus,” Wisteria said quickly, just loudly enough that she could be heard outside the door. “Stay in bed.”
There was a pause, and Remus burst into the room. Wisteria clung to Severus, who held her close but turned sharply. Remus looked at the pair of them in disbelief, slamming the door behind him.
“Lupin,” Severus said coldly. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Wisteria?” Remus asked, his voice fraught with emotion. “What is this?”
“Remus,” she whispered tremulously. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
His face was screwed up in concentration, his eyes held closed by his forefinger and thumb. He was shaking in anger.
“Are you saying this —” he gestured around the room with a sweeping motion “— was an accident?”
“No — it was… we spent so much time together, we just —”
“We,” Severus interrupted, “got along.”
Wisteria gave him a small smile, and Remus made a noise of disgust.
“But Remus, we never said we were —”
“Please,” he laughed mirthlessly, “please don’t insult my intelligence like that. You knew this was wrong, or you wouldn’t have hidden it from me.”
“Now, now, Lupin,” Severus said, advancing toward him. “It’s not such a bad thing…. what better way to mend our old wounds, than to share a common interest?”
“Is this about our past quarrels, Snape?” Remus asked. “That’s why you did this? Out of revenge over our schoolyard squabbles?”
“I can’t say I didn’t consider that, no,” he replied, “but the pleasure of being with Wisteria is an end unto itself, I’m sure you would agree.”
Remus had his wand drawn in an instant, but Severus was ready. He repelled a shower of red sparks from Remus with a lazy flick of his wand, then pushed him backwards with a jabbing motion.
“Don’t worry, darling,” Severus said. “I’ll be gentle.”
Remus glared at Severus, then turned to Wisteria, regarding her with a look beyond contempt.
“I would never have believed you were capable of this,” he said quietly. “Clearly I don’t know you at all.”
Tears stung in Wisteria’s eyes, and she turned away with a sniff.
“I’m sure Snape will find a way to comfort you before long,” he snapped.
“Maybe I will,” Severus said. “But that will be my prerogative, not yours.”
Remus opened his mouth to retort, but seeming to think better of it, he turned on his heel and swept from the room.
Wisteria covered her eyes and breathed shakily. She heard Severus close the door quietly and sensed that he was standing near her.
“It may not feel this way, but you did the right thing,” he said.
He conjured a handkerchief and she took it after a moment’s hesitation.
“I’m afraid,” he said, “we have no time to waste.”
“What do you mean?” she asked thickly.
He took a seat next to her. “Close your mind, Wisteria.”
She hardly saw his eyes before the images swam into view — her mother was lecturing her from the opposite end of a long table…. she was in a dark corridor, a figure with a red-and-gold scarf obscured her vision, and she felt a thrill in her stomach…. Kingsley Shacklebolt sat across from her in a pub, saying, “The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society founded by Albus Dumbledore….”
“Fight back,” Severus urged. “Get control of yourself.”
She was walking around the Black Lake, watching Severus closely, wondering if he skipped rocks as a child…. Dolohov hung upside-down in Diagon Alley laughing at her…. in the dark, Remus whispered, You’re always so warm.
Severus broke away and was holding his cheek, frowning.
“I’m trying to help you,” he said. “You’ve never been more emotionally vulnerable. You need this.”
“For once,” she spat, “can you have even the smallest morsel of compassion?”
“Compassion is not going to protect you from —”
“I know that, Snape. God, I’ve heard it often enough.”
They sat in a huff. Could Severus truly be so unfeeling? Did he suppress every emotion, should it threaten to make him vulnerable?
“And what about your emotions?” she asked boldly.
“You’ve railed against me time and again about harboring intrinsically emotional secrets,” she said. “About keeping things from you.”
“So what past quarrels did you have with Remus?”
His expression went stony.
“It clearly affects you,” she continued. “Did you want to cause him pain? Perhaps you’ve hurt him before?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then enlighten me,” she said airily. “If it’s not a secret, if it’s not emotional —”
“Don’t,” he said through gritted teeth, but he met her eye, giving her the opportunity she wanted.
He was walking up a winding staircase from the Slytherin common room. He reached the well-lit, flagstoned entry hall, and in his arms were half a dozen books.
“Perfect opportunity,” someone whispered darkly.
Severus was arrested mid-step and fell, his books falling in all directions. Four young men were coming down the marble staircase, one of them with his wand out. Levicorpus, he thought, but his wand was stowed in his robes.
The young man bent down to speak privately with Severus. “Heard you were spreading rumors about our friend.”
“Did he apologize?” another of the group asked. “Make him apologize.”
The young man who had jinxed him grinned. “I think I know how to make him sorry…. Petrificus totalus! James — James, help me stuff him in the broom closet there….”
Wisteria withdrew and instantly felt regret. Severus would not look at her, and his face was drained of color. When she tried to speak, he held up a hand to silence her. Without a word, he buttoned the sleeves of his shirt, put on his boots, and donned his robes.
“Come to my office in the morning,” he said. “And empty your mind before you fall asleep, if you can.”
