I'm gonna say it right now: we need Harry Potter fans who are willing to stand up and tell JKR she needs a kick in the ass. And this means, we need Harry Potter fans.
JKR said that those who like/read HP are supporting her views and unfortunately, the Internet has decided...to agree with her. Which basically means, she wins. She continues to divide what she believes to be "the underdogs" (TERFs) and the "Death Eaters" (decent people). It's a way for her to feel better about herself, about the little black and white world she's created that worships her and her hate speech. And by saying "Yes, she's right, all who like HP are basically Nazis and will be looked upon by history as such", you are agreeing with and supporting her little "us vs them" worldview- something the HP books claim (and fail imo, often, save for one character whom she herself dislikes. Hmmmm) to be against.
And that's why I think HP fans who criticize her and their own series while still loving it are important. They show that her little world is bogus and bullshit. That she's nothing more than a gatekeeper. And how do we feel about gatekeepers?
To use her own word against her, "We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided". She thinks her imaginary "HP fans vs fake women supporters" world fits that bill so don't let her be right. Don't agree with her. I'm STILL meeting trans HP fans to this day. Fuck up her stupid ass black and white worldview. Reclaim that shit from her, criticize her from the inside. The world is not separated between her "good people" and "Death Eaters".
After years i finally sat down and finished the first book, and immediately went “OK but how amazing would it be if McGonagall raised Harry instead”
So that is what I have been fixating on for the last couple of days thank you!
Just imagine
Little Harry running around Hogwarts making friends with people who actually attend classes!
Being able to transfigure early on in his life because hello?? McGonagall??
Little Bambi running around :D
Meeting Fred and George before he meets Ron :D!!
ANYWAYS
Expect more art of this!!
Lucius stood courteously at the head of the dining room table as the ladies filed out with Cissa. When the door shut behind the last rustling skirt, the gentlemen sat, relaxed now they were alone. The candles burned low in the candelabra down the great length of the table, the flame occasionally picking out the tawny gleam of decanted port.
Velvet curtains of the deepest silver were closed against the chill of the winter night. Snow lay thick across the park, though the waxing moon and cloudless sky they'd been promised meant travel wouldn't prove too treacherous later.
"Excellent dinner, Lucius, as always." Yaxley smiled thinly. "If you'll excuse me, though, I should find my wife. Had something I wanted to ask her."
"I'll pass on the compliment to Narcissa." Lucius nodded at the man as he left the room, ignoring the wafer thin excuse.
"Now, Lucius, there's something more important than dinner to discuss." Avery slapped the table. "An' I'm going to be indelicate, but it's Snape. High time you found someone for him. He's eighteen! Not gettin' any younger."
Lucius stared at the man. Avery and Mulciber had taken Severus under their dubious protection when he left Hogwarts. He really hadn't known what Severus saw in either of them, but the boy took to the pair like a puppy. They must have seemed glamorous, somehow, two years older than him.
"Wanted Mulciber and the Mudblood." Rowle, deep in his cups and thankfully at the far end of the table, chortled. "At's 'is problem. 'E wanned both."
Everyone stared as he thumped forward onto the table.
"Thankfully, I had warned the footmen." Lucius drawled.
A guilty snicker ran around the table.
"No one ever knew what he wanted, was the problem. Except potions and he's doin' a Mastery already. Could sponsor him to Oxford, I suppose. S'what you do with brainboxes, isn't it?" Mulciber sighed. "Always had too much brain, Severus did. Brain and nerves."
"Why, if we're being indelicate, is it my responsibility to find our problem child a match?" Lucius asked lightly.
"You and Narcissa know everyone, Lucius. Simply everyone. Surely you know someone who'd…well…take him in hand. As it were." Avery insisted. "He needs a nice…er…husband, maybe?"
"I have suggested no less than seventeen suitable matches, to date. He doesn't want a husband." Lucius sighed.
"Not want a husband?" Avery repeated. He tended to do that, as if he could only understand a concept from his own mouth. "Why the devil not? He doesn't want a wife, does he? Never been that wrong about a chap before."
"He does not." Lucius assured him. "Your reputation is safe, Waltham. Druella Heathcote was interested until he spent an entire dinner explaining the best way to gut rats."
"Rats?" Mulciber's voice had a strained quality. "The poor gel. Cathcart's given him a look or two. Good chap, Cathcart."
"He'd rather purposefully spring a were trap on his leg and then chew himself free. He's willing to leave the leg."
"Gibson?" Avery tried.
"I believe he felt drowning in flobberworm mucus preferable."
"Witherwaite? He isn't gettin' any younger, but he's always wanted a sharp one."
"Boiled in his own cauldron."
"Hallowfield? He's a bit like old Withers but a bit more biddable. As they go."
"Trampled to death by toads."
"The trouble is, we've spoilt him." Mulciber growled. "What about one of those Russians you know? They seem the imperious type. He likes that, y'know."
"He threatened to move to…where was it? Ah, yes, Outer Mongolia. Or possibly Newfoundland."
"What about you and Narcissa? She seems to like him well enough? You'd keep him out of trouble." Avery grasped at straws.
"The Malfoy contracts are strictly bi-partite. The only one coming to my marriage bed is Narcissa. Regrettably for both of us." Lucius winked at the pair.
Was he a bit foxed? He hoped not, but the port was particularly nice. How did one measure one's level of foxedness?
"Damn!" Avery muttered. "There's got to be someone he'll take."
"He told me that husbands stopped you doing anything really interesting and he likes what he's doing now." Mulciber admitted it mournfully. "He especially said anyone with, well, our ideals, wouldn't let him do anything remotely fun."
"Of course they wouldn't!" Avery slapped the table again. "He'd be…he'd be taken care of. Properly. His blood line's good enough if you ignore the father and his manners are…there…if you ignore his habit of hissing at people he doesn't like. But he shouldn't be running about loose like he is."
"He's too bloody independent. And spoiled." Mulciber declared. "We should have been…well I don't know. He bit you if you tried to tell him what to do. Not you, though, Lucius. Or Narcissa."
"He knew much better than to bite Narcissa." Lucius agreed.
"I just want to see him…cared for." Avery spoke quietly. "And…and out of this damned mess. If he had a husband like you he wouldn't be in it." He gestured at Lucius.
"I've suggested everyone like me I could with a clear conscience. Unfortunately, I'm not head of his family. I can't really make him do anything." And he'd certainly looked for any connection at all.
The Princes had a habit of marrying outside England. The sods. The one time he wished for a family connection and the magical community's marriage habits let him down completely.
"We looked, as well. They marry out. Always have. Suppose that's why his mother…well, the less said the better." Mulciber traced patterns in the damask tablecloth.
"Surely he'd take Hadley? Absolute sport, Hadley." Avery tried one last time.
I think I made it in time for his birthday this year!
Just a self-indulgent AU comic concerning a little bit of plagiarism/translation/localization in the name of getting some nice boots. Let me know if anything is illegible
A few thoughts I’d had whilst doodling away:
1.) Why would purebloods speak with an RP accent? I’m no linguist, but I like to think there’s probably a distinct wizarding accent- we’re talking about a small and fairly insular community, much of which goes to school together. Maybe muggleborns bring in weird muggle slang that upsets the parental generations (…perhaps that’s been going on for a few hundred years…). Maybe I just wanted Severus to make fun dear old Lulu
2.) In this AU, a second-year Severus, tired of getting pushed in the halls and down the stairs by those Gryffindor jerks, waited until the last Quidditch game of the year (Gryffindor vs. Slytherin) to meander his way up to the Gryffindor tower with a slew of questions for the Fat Lady. What did she mean? What did that vase of flowers represent? What was the social context in which her artist worked? How could she be understood? etc. etc.
Two hours later, the triumphant Gryffindors all found themselves locked out of the tower as the Fat Lady had gone off in a bit of an existential tizzy. The victory party was subsequently cancelled, although the catering might’ve gotten redirected down to the dungeons.
3.) Maybe Lily doesn’t have the best judgement or good taste. Maybe Severus’ standards are just too high. I had fun coming up with titles that made me think “pulp sci-fi”
4.) “Potter is a jerk,” says Severus.
“A jerk with a trust fund and a craving for muggle food,” says Lily. “If he’s willing to spend ten galleons on a stale bag of crisps I got for 5p three months ago, why shouldn’t I profit?”
5.) Keeping a secret from Severus for a whole day is a long time! Lily can only keep a secret from him if she keeps it a secret from herself too.
It wasn’t the first time she’d faked her death and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either, Eileen’s Patronus must’ve been an Eastern Hognose snake (Heterodon platirhinos)
“JK Rowling did this, JK Rowling did that, JK Rowling is bad because” blah blah blah
bitch.
I barely knew that JK Rowling is a woman let alone whatever other BS she’s got going on. I think we all have more important shit to worry about than a rich Karen who wrote a childrens book series.
We could all drop every ounce of her content right fucking now and it wouldn’t make a dent in her billion dollar fortune let’s get over ourselves and be activists in ways that matter.
We aren’t walking billboards for Christ’s sake what kind of capitalistic nonsense is that? having a fandom isn’t the transphobic rampage you think it is
Narcissa was rather dissatisfied with her letter to Lucius Malfoy. She didn’t want dear Lucius to think of her as a callous and careless girl, but she didn’t want to alarm him unduly. Severus would recover, Madam Pomfrey had assured them that his skin, at least, would regrow without scarring. For his part, Severus was in an almost manic good mood (although that might have been due to being a little too high on pain potions…).
‘Do not fret, Severus merely burnt his face off in the name of thrift’, was a bit too perfunctory.
She knew, vaguely, that thrift was supposedly commendable. At least, it was commendable in those who couldn’t afford anything better, like the current Weasley generation. One mustn’t be a miser like dear old Muriel Prewett, after all. She felt slightly guilty in finding Severus’ dedication to thrift as alarming rather than admirable.
“So, you see, Lily, I have finally SOLVED the problem of unwanted facial hair! Even after my skin regrows, I shall never have to purchase a razor again and the time I save, that would otherwise be wasted by Sisyphean shaving, shall accumulate rapidly and be put to intellectual pursuits instead!”
Madam Pomfrey really must’ve prescribed something too powerful.
Lily, who did not take kindly to anyone hurting her best friend (up to and very much including said best friend) took a deep breath and Narcissa realized her correspondences would need to wait for a quieter moment.
From @sxvxrxssnape‘s 2022 Snapetober Prompt List (here), Day 9 prompt: “Burn”.
Lily’s hair was the most fun and the bandages on Sev’s face were the most annoying thing to draw on this one!
Hey there! I’ll be posting the cover and the summary of my children’s book here later today! I’m also selling commission art for only 10$ each to help with the bills. Can you buy one or make a donation to help me with my expanses please? Thank you so much for reading <3
Severus: *Accidentally hits Lily in the face*
Severus: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Severus: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Lily: What’s wrong with you?!
summary: Little Draco Malfoy has a very serious question for his parents - where do babies come from?
“Your son has a question for you,” Narcissa started, both her and Draco looked over at him with a smile. “I told him he could ask me but he insisted. I believe his words were “Daddy knows everything”,” she recalled, rolling her eyes as she saw Lucius puff out his chest a bit as he came to stop in front of them.
“Daddy does know everything,” he directed at his wife in a cocky tone before kneeling down to look his son in the eyes. “Alright Draco, what is your question?”
Draco looked at his father, his gray eyes sparkling with curiosity, “Where do babies come from?”
Severus: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Tobias: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Eileen: It was one time!
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Severus: What time is it?
Eileen: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out
Eileen: *BLASTS the saxaphone*
Tobias: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Eileen: It’s 2 am
{They're both night owls}
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Eileen: You're father annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow.
Severus: There is nothing special about tomorrow tho...
Eileen: I know but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.
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Child Lily: How do you do that?
Child Severus: I'm fearless.
Tobias: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.
Severus: I'm mostly fearless.
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*Severus rushes by with an armful of water bottles*
Eileen: What's going on?
Teen Lily: Sev wouldn't drink water.
Tobias: ...And?
Lily: And I asked him how fast they could chug an entire bottle.
Teen Severus, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!
{Lily knows how to get Severus to self care}
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Eileen: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Tobias, used to Eileen being dumb: Sure...
Teen Severus, joining in: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Tobias: Okay?
Eileen: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Tobias:
Severus: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Tobias: Jesus, that one is a little-
Teen Lily, who appeared out of nowhere, interested: No, no, Sev, keep going.
{Tobias never gets a break}
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Tobias: I just had a long talk with Severus and Lily about hitting and now they are yelling “it’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other...
Tobias: Help
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Severus: Die.
Lily: Please don't die!
Severus: DIE!
Lily: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Tobias, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Eileen, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Lily wants Severus to accept it as their kid.
{Sev and Lily buy the plant for their first apartment they get after graduation. Sev isn't ready to have kids of any kind.}
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Teen Lily: Why is your dad crying on the floor?
Teen Severus: He's drunk.
Lily: And?
Severus: He saw a picture of Mom's husband.
Lily: But he's your mom's husband.
Severus, smiling: I know.
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Lily: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Eileen: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Lily for dinner.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Eileen Snape/Tobias Snape, Eileen Snape & Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Tobias Snape
Characters: Severus Snape, Eileen Snape, Tobias Snape
Additional Tags: Domestic Violence, Blood, Swearing, Drinking, Bigotry, use of slurs, Trans Character, Forced Out, Accidentally Outted, Homophobia, Transphobia, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, trans validation, Tobias is a horrible person
Summary:
Tobias hits Eileen one too many times, and Severus, already seventeen and angry with the world, snaps. In the process one of his biggest secrets is accidentally outted.
-
This fic stands alone but is also in universe with Toblerone.
