TO THE WOMAN WHO WANTS TO HAVE A BABY
(I saw this on a blog and thought I’d share)
About 6% of married women 15–44 years of age in the United States are unable to get pregnant after one year of unprotected sex (infertility). Also, about 12% of women 15–44 years of age in the United States have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, regardless of marital status (impaired fecundity). {Stats found here}
It isn’t easy putting on a smile at baby showers, when deep inside you are really hurting.
It isn’t easy going on Facebook and seeing {what seems like ALL of} your friends announcing they are pregnant with cute baby bump pictures.
It isn’t easy seeing other women taking their role as a mother for granted.
In fact, it isn’t easy, so you fall on your knees every night, praying…pleading…BEGGING that you will be able to have a baby of your own soon.
If you know what I am talking about…THIS is for you…
To The Woman Who Wants To Have A Baby:
To The Woman Who Wants A Baby
Photos by Christine Olson Photography
I want you to know that I see you. And that I am going through exactly what you are going through too.
You know – smiling on the outside, but hurting on the inside?
I have been thinking a lot about you recently, as I have been asked the questions, “When are you going to have another one?” and “You know she is almost three – it is overdue for your second.”
And suddenly all of my emotions from fertility treatments come racing back and I get nervous. I get anxious. My heart longs to hold a newborn baby. My body aches to feel a kick inside of me. And tears fill my eyes as I realize what a struggle it is for me…and for you… for these things to happen.
To the woman who wants a baby, I have ten things I want you to remember:
1. Your journey of becoming a mom is different than the norm, but that doesn’t make it any less special: In FACT, I think it makes it even MORE special. Through each negative pregnancy test and each tear in your eye. Through each shot in your belly and blood drawn from your arm. Through the days at doctors appointments and nights on your knees. Through your dreams and wishes and doubts and fears, YOU are something special.
2. It is worth it…I promise: For those of you, like me, who are moms, but are struggling to have another – you know what I mean when I say it is worth it. After several surgeries, four years of treatments, failed procedures and nearly six months of bed rest – I can tell you with all of my heart, it was worth it. It was worth it ALL. In fact, it was so worth it, that is why I am willing to try it all over again and hope that YOU will too.
To The Woman Who Wants A Baby
3. Take care of yourself: It is easy to get wrapped up in things to do and people to please – but the most important thing you can do right now is to take care of YOU. When you set yourself as a priority, you have more energy, you feel better mentally, physically and emotionally AND you will be able to find joy. This struggle is extremely hard on your body and mind, so taking care of YOU is the best thing you can do.
4. You can do hard things: Sometimes we are asked to do a lot more in this life than we think we can handle. You may have to try and fail and try again. You may have to fall and pick yourself up again. You may have to run faster, even though you are out of breath. You may have to keep going, even though you don’t think you can go any further. You may have to do what seems to be impossible, because it actually might end up being possible. And most importantly you should always remember to keep moving towards where you want to be, no matter what is in front of you.
5. It is normal to feel exhausted: “Trying” is exhausting. There are articles to read, apps that will tell you when it is “time”, lists of foods people will tell you to eat, medications you can take, oils that you can rub, doctors that you can see and a million things you can do that have worked for other people so you will want to try them too. And with every passing day, you will be tired. You will be ready to give up on it all. You will ask yourself, “Is it even worth all of this?!”
6. It is okay to be sad: In fact, sometimes a good cry is healthy. Your life is really, really hard. And every day, you are going through one of the hardest trials. I suggest to allow yourself to be sad for 10 minutes every morning. You can cry and have your own pity party for yourself. But after those 10 minutes are up, I encourage you to pick yourself up and focus on something else.
7. Everyone is different: Be careful not to compare yourself or your story with ANYONE else’s. Every situation is different. Every story is unique. You write yours – and they will write theirs. What works for them, may not work for you. Do what is best for YOU and what you are comfortable with. We each have our own struggles and trials and we all will handle things that come our way differently.
To The Woman Who Wants A Baby
8. Things don’t always work out…and that is okay: That is a tough one to say. I hope you will remember that everything happens for a reason…even if we do not understand the reasoning at this moment. Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Don’t you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don’t come until heaven…but they come.”
9. You aren’t alone: And you NEVER ever will be. It is important to talk about your struggle and to find other women or couples that are going through this too. I promise you are not the only one.
10. It isn’t easy: lastly, I hope you remember that it isn’t easy. It is NOT. And with every passing day, it might even get harder. But I know for a fact, that the greatest things in life, are truly worth waiting for. And a baby is THE greatest thing… so even if it isn’t easy… it will be worth it.
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