im not valid

hi..

[https-exe]

april 12, sunday 2020

happy easter (:

——

i ate nothing, cuz yknow i’m cool like that, but i took the dog on a walk

cal: -40

hehe big brained

[https-exe]

april 11, saturday 2020

——

lunch

• two pieces of toast with cinnamon butter - 200 cal

• ginger sprite - 130 cal

weep whomp that’s all i ate

total cal: 330 cals

[https-exe]

so yeah i failed, obviously.. i got anxious about having to count calories and al that crap and a binged for a few days.. i feel gross ew.

i gained a pound so this is reality check to get my shit straight.. i’ll start posting daily now, i’m sorry

[dulcethope-deactivated20220719]

Not to sound selfish, but unfortunately quarantine has made it extremely harder for people with mental disorders. 

[https-exe]

i think i’m just gonna turn this into a thinspo page✨

so here we go:

height: 5’0

current weight: 105.5

goal weight: 95

ultimate goal weight: 90

~~

i’ll do some daily check-ins and all that fancy stuff (:

[tearstainedwrists]

“I’m used to it” is the saddest thing anyone can say

[https-exe]

i just want to be skinny again..

last year i had severe anorexia, and i was so small and i loved it

now i’m ‘recovering’ and getting fat

i hate it

i want to be small again

[volcanicpoetry]

the first time I tried to die / © han hyland

[vergessen-und-verzweifelt]

I only have like three emotions

1. Nothing, I don't even know what feeling is

2. Too much, everything at the same time

3. Pain

[https-exe]

things i’ve learned:

if i dont text you first, we won’t talk all day.

if we don’t talk all day, you don’t care

if you don’t care, it proves you don’t love me

if you don’t love me, i was right all along

if i was right all along, you lied to me

you promised you’d never lie to me.

please text me.

[https-exe]

2020 has been my worst year.

my girlfriend broke up with me on my birthday.

i fell in love with someone, we never dated because they were dating someone else.. but they took my virginity

tried to have a new relationship, ended horribly as of three minutes ago.

corona has me more depressed then ever.

and it’s only april.

[https-exe]

honestly,

if i was just mute.. none of my problems would exist.

i’d be happy, because it’s my mouth that makes me get into these situations, my words that make others hate me... so if i said nothing... i’d finally be happy..

and that sounds amazing..

[https-exe]

everyone talks about how someone would be broken if they finally just ended it.

i’m jealous of those people who have someone that care, like a friend or a family member

the only reason i haven’t done anything is because i’ll miss my cats too much. that’s it... i’ll miss my cats too damn much. my dad left me, my mom doesn’t like me, and i don’t have any friends. i just have my cats.