BERNARD! It’s hot in the worm.
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@hungrybutterfly
BERNARD! It’s hot in the worm.
has anyone drawn this with Shane & Ilya yet
Op the vision is hilarious, you win
I fully believe, to the depths of my soul, that if one of the Metros said “I bet Rozanov has a tiny dick”, Shane “maybe he’s sick” “he’s not” Hollander would instantly say “he doesn’t” and then walk into the ocean
So after Shane leaves the Metros, the team starts sending out Hayden Pike to do press to cover their asses and keep their more asshole-ish players from saying slurs in front of reporters.
After one inconsequential game, a reporter asks about what Coach Theriault and Hayden think of the future of hockey with their former star player playing with his husband. Theriault says some shitty PR nothing answer laced with so much disdain that Hayden just. can't. take. anymore.
Obviously his team wants him to shit-talk his best friend and de facto brother-in-law who happen to be playing the best hockey of a generation (he will never let Ilya know he thinks this). The reporter obviously is chomping at the bit for a "dissension in the locker room" story that will make his life even more miserable. So, fuck the both of them.
"and how about you Hayden, what do you think about the future of hockey with Hollander and Rozanov?"
"Well, I think they should get on having kids, like surrogacy or adoption of something"
Dead silence, the reporter blinks in confusion. He can feel the glare coming off Theriault burning into the side of his face. He doesn’t turn his head and blithely goes on.
“Yeah, specifically 3 girls. I have 3 girls so if they have 3 girls, we’d have a whole hockey team to start in the pee-wees and get to the PWHL. My Ruby would obviously be a defender. She’d spend her whole life in the box, but she'd be such a good enforcer, especially if she was playing with her sisters. Jade is sneaky fast, so forward for her. And I know Amber is a baby, but I swear she’s got goalie eyes. My son Arthur is already the peacemaker of the family, so Uncle Shane could start training him up on all the rules so he can be our ref. But Shane and Ilya would have to get themselves another defender and a right or left wing with a center. Yep, that’s the future in hockey I’d love to see with Hollander and Rozanov”
Thus Hayden makes headlines bigger than any other time in his whole career. His time in the locker room does get shittier, but it’s all worth it for the call from Shane telling him that Ilya loved his vision of the future so much he cried looking at baby girl names online and researching PWHL teams.
HUDSON WILLIAMS as Jason/"Rex" Dogging (2025) directed and written by Mark Masterton & Hudson Williams
If you enjoy my work, you can support me by buying a coffee. ☕️✨️ https://buymeacoffee.com/kamceyrij
Jon Stewart gives Larry Wilmore the send-off he truly deserves
╰(◡‿◡✿╰)
I LOVE HIS LIL FACE SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭
THE FEELS I GET FROM THIS SCENE.
BONUS:
This is literally the biggest slap in the face to anyone who called her a gold digger
Sulu’s like “whatever, drama queen.”
he’s livetweeting chekov’s problems
My hand slipped
(via xmudxcrabx)
My cat thought she was going to have fun time in the bucket
funny tumblr [via imgur]
bETRAYED
@thefingerfuckingfemalefury
“HOW COULD YOU TRICK ME LIKE THIS”