I am driven to distraction

Allie - she/her | your friendly fandom elder emo | writing firstprince & hollanov fanfic

[porcelainmortal]

Firstprince Masterlist

Hollanov Masterlist

Thanks for being here. If you enjoy my writing, please kudos, comment, and share! It gives me so much drive to keep creating. 💕

[lexicanons]

A few years Post TLG, Montreal players start going missing. The police can’t figure out why these players have seemingly vanished into thin air. They have no leads, no evidence, it’s all dead ends. The city, the organization, the league is on edge. Initially, they were worried this might be an attack on all hockey players but it seemed to be only directed at Montreal. Then, the commissioner goes missing. Vanishing without a trace. Again, the police have no leads and are left hopeless.

Ilya is laying on the couch. Shane is laying on top of his husband as they watch the news story about the missing commissioner. “It’s a good thing JJ is in Boston.” Shane says. JJ left Montreal after his contract was up and signed with Boston.

“Yes, he is safe there. Him and Cliff are having fun. I see their stories,” Ilya says as he rubs circles into Shane’s back. Shane then raises up to look Ilya in the eyes. “Don’t hurt Hayden.”

“What are yo-.”

“Do not hurt Hayden.” Shane repeats. A silent understanding passing between them.

“I’m done. I saved the commissioner for last.”

[porcelainmortal]

What if Irina killed herself because she couldn’t get out? 

Imagine she is making plans to take her youngest son and leave Russia. She has passports for both of them. She has been researching Visa requirements. She has some money saved up, set aside from her personal allowance. It's not much, but she is getting close to what she thinks she’ll need.

She has been in contact with a friend who moved to another country, has notes and letters from them. She is making plans. 

Then Grigori finds out.

He flips out, tears her down, hits her. Tells her she will never leave, ever. And how dare she try to take his child from him?! He burns all her documents, including her passport. Even her money, just to prove that he can.

Her last shred of hope for getting herself and her baby boy out of Russia has failed. Her son, who is sensitive like her, and has the sweetest heart. Who she suspects might like boys the way she likes girls.

The way she liked her friend Ana when she was 17. The first girl she ever kissed, and the one her parents caught her with. 

Irina tried to pass it off as girls being girls—practicing kissing on each other so they can be ready to kiss boys. Her father believed her, but her mother didn’t. She started going through Irina’s things. 

That scared Irina more than anything. Her mother found the bracelet Ana had given her, and a distinctly flirty note they’d passed one day, with hearts drawn in the corner. In a panic, Irina destroyed her beloved journal. It was like tearing out a piece of her heart. But inside were love notes she never sent to Ana, and poems about her beauty.

Her mother threatened to tell Ana’s parents what she saw. Her father threatened worse.

So to throw them off, Irina said yes to the next man that asked her out. Nevermind that he was nearly 20 years older than her. He lavished her with gifts and praise. Told her she was beautiful. Promised her things. She saw a chance to get out of her parents’ house, which had become suffocating since the Ana thing.

Then Irina fell pregnant. She and Grigori were married within months. And she was starting her new life with a man who certainly wasn’t what she’d pictured, but who Irina knew would take care of her. She truly believed that everything was going to be fine.

[obligatedart]

The Centaurs know better than to linger in the locker room after the game where Shane Hollander gets into his first bloody fist fight, and their Captain can’t seem to look away…

[needyilyarights]

I think Ilya, as a retired party boy, absolutely loves a wedding because it’s like microdosing a club.

Ilya gets so excited when he and Shane get invited to weddings. He loves coordinating their suits and taking cute pictures outside the venue. He’s crying during the ceremony and squeezing Shane’s hand.

At the reception, he’s dancing with toddlers and grandmas. He’s making a toast. He’s slow dancing with his husband. He’s taking shots with the groomsmen and then, again, with the bridesmaids. He’s dragging Shane to the photo booth and is like “ok and now we do a silly one”. When it gets late in the night and the dance floor is full, he is bending over in front of Shane to Yeah! by Usher. Then he’s turning Shane around and pulling their hips together and whispering the lyrics to Don’t Stop The Music by Rihanna in his ear. His tie is around his head. He gets lost and is found smoking a cigar with someone’s uncle.

At the after party, he’s putting his black card down and is covering the entire tab. They’re closing the hotel bar down.

And at the end of the night, he’s sliding up to Shane like “so did you bring a date? How about we take this back to my room?” He’s fucking his husband into the mattress all night and is absolutely calling for a late check out.

[strawberry-crocodile]

the curse is lifted! you are no a beast no more! congratulations! but you'll never forget the way they looked at you, will you.

[dorksofcydonia]

Your childhood bedroom is a kind of dead wife

[argillaforma]

yeah yeah ilya is a big strong russian man who can break your skull on and off the ice but don’t forget that man is also a Diva™️ he is using eight different hair products and he has shit talking sessions with svetlana while cuntily smoking cigarettes and he clocks everybody’s tea and he loves ugly designer clothes and his hips sway like a pendulum when he walks and if there’s one thing he’s gonna do it’s be dramatic about it

[themoonandmyman]

baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.

Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.

[littleewhitelotus]

i just HAD to draw this

[writingdose]

[writingdose]

this and also the only difference between fanfic writers and writers who sell their own original works as careers is that fanfics aren’t monetized. that’s all.

being a “professional” writer doesn’t mean your works are inherently better than fanfics. I’ve read so many fics that are more professionally written than some published books.

whether or not a piece of writing is monetized has nothing to do with its quality.

[nellasbookplanet]

Something so funny about rereading one's own unfinished fics. Like wow this is pretty good! Almost as if was written exactly according to what I personally like in fact! Someone should finish it!

[writingdose]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people will be like “I wonder why fanfic writers don’t share their works anymore😔” and then this is them when a writer is kind enough to share something they write — as a hobby, for their own enjoyment — with them for free.

some people really don’t realize how privileged they are that they get fanfics for free. imagine having access to something for free because someone is kind enough to share it with you… and then being rude, entitled and an ungrateful pos to that person who was kind enough to share their creation with you for free

“almost 1 year is a lil too much for me” fuck off. fanfic writers don’t owe you anything. one of my favorite fics was updated after 13 years, and what I did is that I thanked the author for choosing to continue the work, I didn’t act like a spoiled toddler by asking why they didn’t update sooner. and even if a writer chooses to abandon their fic permanently with no explanation, that is their choice, their hobby, their decision. they don’t owe your entitled ass anything.

you people let tiktok rot your brains to the point you see everything as content farm and engagement. not a piece of art created by the artist’s love and passion. it’s dystopian.

[assignedilyaoftheday]

your assigned ilya of the day is casually getting ready for his man in THE legendary rick owens

[porcelainmortal]

the cottage chronicles

(if you are subscribed to me and saw this title change no you didn't)

Chapter 1: The Lake

Chapter 2: The Bed

Chapter 3: Under the Stars

Chapter 4: The Guest Room

Chapter 5: The Master Shower

[porcelainmortal]

read on ao3

[writingdose]

genuine writers getting wrongly accused of using ai because of witch hunt and proper grammar/structure in their works must be what being a woman in the 1600s who is wrongly accused of being a witch because she can read and is intelligent feels like