doing research into my penis options and this is such a funny stock image to use here

#extradirty
Stranger Things
almost home
Cosmic Funnies

titsay
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle

Love Begins

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

roma★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Andulka

Kiana Khansmith
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Sade Olutola
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@hyldoc
doing research into my penis options and this is such a funny stock image to use here
im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams
im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams
"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him
well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself
happy doldrums day to all the gays and fob fans
sometimes i think i can probably pass as masc and maybe even as a straight guy but any time i engage in conversation with a kind stranger i have a demeanor not unlike a princely rich girl archetype in a 2000s manga and frequently extend my hand in an elegant manner which has caused a number of drunken individuals on nights out to kiss my hand as if i were a beautiful ojousama and not a greasy mechanic
every time i talk in work i feel this image manifest in my mind like a specter that torments me
pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.
i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.
I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.
op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.
(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)
girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!
Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis
Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis
Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis
Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis
I love this text post so I drew it
I don't think I've seen this shared here yet (newsletter excerpt for context ↓)
during pride month??????
Great news: after being banned from Night Power Tools, my wife has taken up whittling and is making me a spoon
Finished spoon!