I think once I started to acccept that I won’t ever “pass”, even if I were to go on T, I’ve been a lot more confident in my gender expression and leaning more feminine. Still feel like a man 100% (never see this changing), but don’t feel the need to cut my hair a certain length or watch what I wear. I guess that’s because I’m gay as well, and lean more flamboyant, but my point still stands.
Passing is such a weird objective for myself. I can understand why many trans individuals feel the overwhelming anxiety of knowing that they haven’t met certain milestones in their transition. But I think some people, like myself, got a little lost on the way and forgot what exactly they wanted to achieve with their transition.
“Was i following a heteronormative path of being a man?”
“A stereotypically “on the fence” gender non-conforming man who gets mistaken for a the opposite trans half the time?”
I think I felt lighter once I cut out all the online “discourse” around what a transman should be and just did my own thing.
A lot of trans men are very cruel to one another even offline. I don’t care to abide by the toxic lifestyle of needing to be an alt, straight gym bro who is traumatized associating with women (which is fine) but then proceed to mock a fellow trans man who only has female friends because cis-men can be vile. Just perpetuating the same toxic masculinity we see in cisgender circles 😭 you are queer. You may not like it, but you are just as queer as gay trans man or the butch lesbian you don’t wanna be compared to. What are you trying to prove?
