I have a hypothesis.

Here to think critically and express ideas freely. Also, pretty pictures.

[hypothesizer]

Shelf cat is a happy cat. #dangercat #cats #catsofinstagram #pets #petsofinstagram #shelfcat #happycat

[hypothesizer]

"Innocence lost. Experienced gained." 08/08/2016

[hypothesizer]

Paradise in the city. #austin #sights #ladybirdlake #latergram #atx

[hypothesizer]

"We make kids confident in their words." @austinbatcave #austinbatcave #writing #storytelling #sights #austinstorytelling (at Home Slice Pizza)

[hypothesizer]

Work work work. And all I wanna do is go back to this. #daydreaming #romance #weddingdance #tbt #throwbackthursday

[hypothesizer]

#jackdaniels #whiskey #vintagead #airbnb #tenneseewhiskey

[hypothesizer]

Lights. #lighting #sunday #sights

[hypothesizer]

Silhouette. #silhouette #sights #weekend

[hypothesizer]

In my memory, I was high on adrenaline at this point. And then I saw the photo evidence. I was definitely drinking Veuve Cliquot from the bottle and laughing up a storm with one wonderful woman. Shout out to @ambsakimbo for capturing this spectacular moment. @eschliss #memories #friends #throwbackthursday #tbt #veuveclicquot #happilyeverafter

[hypothesizer]

I said "yes" to moderating because I love meeting people, I love interviewing people, I love getting the spotlight and then shining it on others. I didn't actually know how good it would make me feel emotionally and intellectually. There's a feedback loop in front of an audience that makes me tick. It can be terrifying, but just the kind of terror necessary to kick communication into high gear. I am grateful. And eager to continue doing more of this.

[living-fitness]

[hypothesizer]

If you know me, this is obvious.

[living-fitness]

[hypothesizer]

By myself yet with so much emotional support. The kind I’ve always needed.

[hypothesizer]

The new approach to a healthy life is all about balance. For example, $5 Drink Before Elixir from the Wheatsville Co-op. Because nothing says balance like I'm healthy enough to get plastered right now. Will report back on its efficacy soon... For research purposes mostly.

[hypothesizer]

A series of firsts I encountered & approached during my Whole 30 Challenge AKA experiment

As a reminder, the Whole 30 banned foods list includes: sugar, grains, soy, dairy, alcohol, and basically any ingredient you can’t pronounce.

- Went to a Happy Hour and didn’t drink alcohol. For four hours.

- Went to a Mexican restaurant and didn’t chips. Or salsa. Or queso. 

- Went to a house party with abundant alcohol and chicken wings. I neither drank the alcohol nor ate the wings. I also avoided the hummus.

- Declined all the free food and alcohol in my office. All of it. Free.

- Went to another three-hour happy hour. Didn’t drink alcohol. Didn’t eat the truffle popcorn OR fries. Ugh.

- Went to a birthday party at a brewery! For so many hours!

- Went to an Italian restaurant and found something to eat.

- Started a class called “Created a One-person Show.”

- Started taking Acro Yoga classes.

- Picked up boxing.

- Made cauliflower rice.

- Used my food processor.

- Sharpened my knife skills (haha!).

- Cooked Tilapia. 

- Made a compliant pesto.

- Drank a water-based, homemade green smoothie because at the last minute I realized the organic coconut milk my husband so graciously bought was actually organic coconut milk “beverage.” This was a very disheartening moment.

- Got my thoughts on paper.

- Stood up for myself.

- Karaoked!!!

OK, so it wasn’t my first time doing the last three, but it had been quite a while since I’d done them and really felt confidently like, “this is the right thing to do - I am doing what my body/mind/soul is telling me to do and therefore it is right.” I was OK with myself. With my own mind, my own words, my own body. My own skin.

So, I guess the experiment has shown me that I am a lot more open things that I thought. Also, that I really didn’t have to give up a lot to live my life in the way that makes me happy. Sure, I miss DESSERT like none other, but I got to hang out with my friends a ton, participate in a bunch of activities, and give my silly thoughts and feelings the light of day on paper, in words, and in my energy.

A dear friend of mine remarked recently that we’re living in a society where we all apologize for enjoying things too much. You’re excited? You care about that? You want to display that you’re excited because you care? LOSER. Maybe because I am an excited and caring person, I see his observation as an AHA. 

Ultimately, I think it’s that being vulnerable enough to display your excitement or your care for something - especially something you like or something that makes you feel proud - is what gets hounded. And that’s when people start apologizing or diminishing their accomplishment. 

But, in the spirit of “you do you” culture, I’m gonna go ahead and say “thank you” to those who’ve congratulated me or said they’re proud of me. I’m proud of me too, so much so that I wrote this Tumblr post! Which is less about the pride and more about the experiment (see, I’m apologizing already).

In the end, each moment we’re living is something we’re doing for the very first time. I think we all deserve gold stars for our bravery, and the license to be proud of what we’ve done and learned along the way. 

[hypothesizer]

Day 30 of the #whole30 challenge. Never thought I could cut out grains, dairy, sugar, and ALCOHOL for 30 days but I did it. I'd like to thank my most supportive friends, black coffee and grapefruit LaCroix for helping me achieve this distinguished honor. I feel fantastic and would do this challenge again in a heartbeat. @whole30recipes @whole30 #healthy #day30 #selflove #lacroix #blackcoffee

[hypothesizer]

Clean hair. Zero makeup. Cat shirt. #selfie #selflove #shamelessselfie #bangs #hair #modcloth

[living-fitness]

[hypothesizer]

Forget losing weight. This applies to basically everything.

I am reminded that for the last 19 days I have been conducting an experiment that I have completely forgotten to track. In fact, I basically forgot all about the scientific method besides the “conduct the experiment” part. Frankly, that was the most important part to me so I guess I’m not failing too badly.

I am historically a person who lacks discipline. Seriously. Look at my Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0 report and you will see it’s in my bottom 10 - possibly my bottom five strengths. AKA, not a strength. I’m more the motivation type. AKA, wait until the time is right. Which it never is. Thusly, it is an enormous challenge AND accomplishment that I have even commit 19 days to anything at all.*

So when I decided to do the Whole 30 I didn’t reallllly do what I was supposed to - tell someone. I didn’t announce it one Facebook or Instagram. I didn’t tell my coworkers, friends, or even my husband. Frankly, I read all the stuff about getting started but didn’t really know if I was committed to 30 days. I just figured, what the hell? I’ll try it out.

Ever read that study about the people who - upon saying they’re going to do something - release whatever hormone it is that makes us feel accomplished? In other words, just saying “I’m going to make a podcast” to several of your friends actually causes your body to process the feeling of “I make a podcast” and thusly triggers the pride about something you’ve done. Problem is, you haven’t actually done it, dummy. Yep, I’m one of those people.

As a result, I hesitate to tell anyone about anything I’m doing. What if I don’t hold myself to it? Now that there are these expectations of me, I’m worried about what others will think. They will know if I fail. Now I think I’m going to fail because the possibility is out there. Yep, if I don’t tell anyone I’m even thinking about starting a challenge, it isn’t possible for them to know that I could fail at it. Falling tree, you’re safely tucked away into this forest.

Alas, here I am having completed my 19th day of the Whole 30 Challenge and people actually know. They know! They know because I have gone to multiple happy hours, parties, brunches, and dinners and completely ‘fessed up. Note: I have also made sparkling water/club soda as dressed up as possible (”could I trouble you to muddle the blackberries”?) to not draw attention to my abstinence from drinking. Surprise! I’m still having fun, y’all. My drink has fruit in it.

But really, people - especially the people who know me and my lack of discipline - are shocked to see me abstaining from what the crowd is doing. Because I ALWAYS cave. I LOVE participating. I HATE missing out. Especially when it comes to fun things I like, including but not limited to booze, smokes, carbs, and cheese. At least I still have black coffee.

The point is, I went into this thing not knowing if I could make it especially because of my history but wanting to try because I never really have. I’ve never tried something and NOT given myself an out when it gets hard. I HATE things that are hard and basically can’t handle them because I’ve never needed to (thanks, mom and dad! no seriously). Hence discipline is so unnatural to me. I say I’m “whimsical” and that’s my excuse for changing my mind when things aren’t fun anymore.

Day 19. No alcohol. No carbs. No dairy. No added sugars. No cigarettes. No nothin except veggies, meats, fruits, water, and black coffee. And you better believe none of it is processed (except the cauliflower rice I made in my food processor - yippee!).

So, I’m more than half way through a commitment I wasn’t sure I’d really follow through with. The experiment, “can I really set my mind to something and achieve it” is moving along without glitches. I have definitely learned some solid things along the way - prep food on the weekends, keep the menu varied, oh and I feel REALLY GOOD without all the crap in my body. Yeah, I do. I feel really fantastic. 

I’m probably mostly surprised that I am in such a good mood even though I decline to consume the things I usually love to consume. That I am having fun even though the historically “fun” elements have been removed from my body. That I am feeling good even though I am having to commit to something hard every single moment of every single day. 

I mean, really, it’s only been 19 days. But, for me, it might as well be 30. I know I’m going to make it. Because my mind is already made up. I will achieve the Whole 30 Challenge. And I will learn from this experiment that I really can but my mind to anything with a little discipline.

*I have actually committed to my husband for a lifetime although it has only been less than three months of marriage. He would like you to know that I am not as fun on the Whole 30 Challenge but that I am significantly more annoying.