AM

my late night thoughts and deepest secrets

[i-am-poems]

was i just a stepping stone for you

while you tested the waters rushing by your feet?

was i supposed to drown in the currents

while you debated taking the plunge?

i didn't want to pull you in with me

i know how that shock feels.

did you decide that the water was too cold?

are you better suited for solid ground?

because i've become accustomed to the frigid rapids without you and

i somehow learned to swim

A.M.

[drunk-on-writing]

like a fool i opened up to you confessed my deepest fear - that i’d lose you like i lost everyone else

you promised me you weren’t going anywhere

like a fool i believed you

(cc, 2017)

[bays-words]

falling out of love with your “straight” best friend

of course i remember the way your hand felt

running through my hair, or

the weight of your legs

that wrapped around me in the pool.

I miss how my heart felt like it would burst.

everytime I saw you I compared you to the sun.

I have a few questions that I’ll never ask you.

the one that rattles my head the most is

“do you regret not being honest with yourself?”

because we both know you had just as much gleam

behind your eyes as I did. We both know

your cheeks were flushed that night in my room.

And now it has been a month since I stopped.

since I stopped loving you.

conversations are short. we do not see

each other in person, we do not laugh.

my grandmother has stopped keeping your favorite

(apple juice) in our fridge.

you do not come over. We stop telling

each other things. And I am left

with vacant spots. not one, but two -

because before I fell in love

with those brown eyes,

you were my best friend. The past year

is full of memories we created together.

and now I can barely look at you,

I feel like this is mutual. I know.

I know we never were anything

(according to you)

but whatever we weren’t

is over.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

This afternoon it is raining, as never before; and I have no desire to live, my heart. This afternoon is sweet.

César Vallejo, tr. by Clayton Eshleman, from “Dregs,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[stolenwine]

I am not used to being held by good hearts, soft hands never did take to my soft skin. I was convinced that to love was to be torn apart, but this healing tells me otherwise.

i woke up early enough to watch the sunrise, Emma Bleker (via stolenwine)

[ashleymacleanblog]

i crave your affection and no i don’t mean sex what i really mean is i crave your arms wrapped so tightly around me i crave your kisses gently leaving imprints on my body i crave your touch sending shivers down my spine i just always crave to have you right beside me

reblog if you miss that somebody (via ashleymacleanblog)

[socialuprooting-deactivated2016]

Westerners are fond of the saying ‘Life isn’t fair.’ Then, they end in snide triumphant: ‘So get used to it!’ What a cruel, sadistic notion to revel in! What a terrible, patriarchal response to a child’s budding sense of ethics. Announce to an Iroquois, ‘Life isn’t fair,’ and her response will be: ‘Then make it fair!’ This is the matriarchal approach to learning.

Barbara Alice Mann, Iroquois woman  (via icedcoffeegirl)

[compljcated]

and i never really got to say goodbye but maybe that was my fault my fault for thinking that somewhere in your kisses and your promises and your smiles there was an apology hidden in there but there was no “i’m sorry i’m doing this to you” and no other explanation for the way you left or why it even happened in the first place i guess you could say i’m confused, or still in love, but at this point i don’t know which one is worse it’s been almost five months and i still lie awake at night wondering if you’ve forgotten the sound of my laugh or why my father and i don’t get along i think maybe i’m kidding myself because it’s childish to think someone who almost loved you still cares enough to wonder if you slept alright last night, right? it’s childish to think that someone who swore they’d never get you out of their head still remembers your favorite color and your middle name, right?

not a day has gone by where i don’t try to hold on to the areas of my body that used to have your lips pressed against them (via compljcated)

[macrolit]

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud

I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed–and gazed–but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought: For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. - William Wordsworth

[somepiecesofmyheartandsoul-deac]

Please think of me as the loveliest dream you will ever have and hold me, love me like I am the one and only reality you will ever live in.

Lukas W. // One and only reality (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

[inksomniac-deactivated20170611]

That’s the beautiful thing about poets. They love in depths no ordinary individual in their right senses ever could. But that is also their tragedy.

a.y. (via inksomniac)

[poetryandthesea]

How should I get you out of my heart when I can’t even get you off my mind?

// let me go j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

[i-am-poems]

Stars and Spectators

I don’t even compare to you,

you’re on a whole other level.

You’re caught up being amongst the stars,  

while I’m gazing up, lying on the grass.

I wish every once in a blue moon,

you’d look down at me,

and notice me staring up at you.

-A.M.

[i-am-poems]

An Open Letter to my (Ex) Best Friend

it’s been with 5 days since you’ve texted me.

you said you wouldn’t let the distance get the best of us, but the fabric of our friendship is being pulled at two ends, the seams are starting to fall apart.

i do what i can to make up for the miles and the time zones. I calculate the hours so i can call you at a time that isn’t too late because i know you like to sleep early, but you dont pick up the phone.

you say you’re busy, and that you are sad again. I understand i get sad and busy too. But the difference between us other than our locations is the effort we put in to shorten the distance.

it seems that you finally got over the jet lag from California and woke up in Florida, and forgot me

A.M

[gian-fisher]

I want to kiss her. Not because I want to feel the softness of her fair lips or the warmth of her breath as she exhales against me. I want to kiss her because I can’t think of any other way to fully express the beauty that she is. I want her to know that I see her as perfect. That she is perfect.

catlanta23 (via gian-fisher)

[wnq-writers]

you came, and then left me on fire, with love and desire, just by the sparks of your eyes

simpleperfecttanned  (via wnq-writers)

[loveactivist]

If you ever wondered why people who’ve suffered with depression for a long time, joke about their depression- How a simple sentence like “my depression makes me sad all the time,” can go to, “my depression makes me feel like a shitty potato lol.” When you suffer from a mental illness that makes it hard for you to be happy, Making jokes about your suffering; that make you laugh and smile when you’re sad, even if you know at times it can be fucked up. Its worth something to you.

excerpt from a book I’ll never write #22 // @loveactivist (via loveactivist)