Someone buy me Taco Bell

I'm about as straight as my hair; which is to say not at all.

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

this is the only funny thing on yhe internet

[ghouljihoon-deactivated20131029]

if we’re in a mutual follow feel free to give me your credit card number ! :)

[eternalgirlscout]

i say this every year but tumblr didn’t start doing april fools’ gimmicks until 2014. one year previous, April 1st, 2013, was a certain Incident that i am CONVINCED caused @staff to think “we have to make an april fools’ theme ourselves, because if left to their own devices, they’ll do… That”

[mattchew03]

[twoofcups]

dc literally has better villains than marvel because marvel antagonists are always like “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i kill people because i’m SAD inside” meanwhile everyone in gotham just be off the shits and have an actual aesthetic and presentation  

[wherewhywhat]

The villain’s in Gotham are better because no one can out do Bruce Wayne in  “i wear ALL BLACK and THREE PIECE SUITS and i beat up people because i’m SAD inside” so they had to come up with something else.

[twoofcups]

this is the only response anyone is allowed to put on this post actually 

[tackminyard]

harry can’t duel

harry can’t duel

harry cannot duel

he only uses expelliarmus and he cannot duel

even if he’s dueling the FUCKING DARK LORD

[quillsand]

Imagine the conversation ministry officials must be having when they see his auror application:

“He’s Harry Potter!”

“I know but that doesn’t change the fact-”

“Harry! Freaking! Potter!”

“We still need him to attend extra duelling lessons-”

“We can’t put Harry Potter in extra duelling lessons!”

“He only ever uses one spell-”

“Yeah, but he’s really good at it.”

[coloneltomarry-deactivated20180]

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who had practiced one kick 10,000 times. - Bruce Lee

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Harry Potter, the boy who dared to ask, “why study all these other spells if I can get really good at yeeting everyone’s wands out of their hands”

[skygenders]

bisexuals without the bisexual bob haircut are vaild

[shmreduplication]

Who’s Bisexual Bob

[carliehope]

[gahdamnpunk]

“One must respect the game”, but when is French Open going to respect Serena?!

[welcometonegrotown]

It’s an extremely popular opinion among middle and upper class white people.

[reverseracism]

Also, aside from this completely uneducated reasoning as to why minimum wage was created…

I can guarantee that there are tens of thousands of teenagers who have to pay bills and help support their families or are the only financial supporter to their family.

[chescaleigh]

not to mention, if minimum wage was meant solely for high school students how would the business survive when students are in school?? are they only supposed to be open on the weekend? this “unpopular opinion” makes no sense.

[geocaprican]

Unpopular fact: in the 70s a minimum wage worker could pay for college with a summer job.

Unpopular fact: minimum wage was conceived to be the minimum amount of money a person would need to support themselves and their families when working 40 hours per week.

Unpopular fact: minimum wage was created because working men and women in this nation fought–figuratively in the negotiating room and literally in the streets–for a fair working wage, with sweat and blood and tears and death.

Unpopular fact: military service personnel are not the only people who have fought and died for your rights as American: labor leaders and common workers laid down their lives so that you could have a 40 hour work week instead of 80 hours; so you could have a 2 day weekend instead of none; so you could have lunch and bathroom breaks instead of going hungry and shitting your pants,; so you could have a three day weekend in September.

Capitalism would NEVER dole out basic human decency without literal human sacrifice.

[gaycism]

Murder at Disney

[neuroticgaymusings-deactivated2]

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

[taco-bell-rey]

chewing minty gum, then breathing in cold winter air

[bitch-is-for-happy]

you come into MY chilis, BARBECUE SAUCE ON YOUR TITTIES, and disrespect MY valentino white bag? fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this. you’re disrespecting a FUTURE US army soldier - i think i know more about american girl dolls than you. ive got the power of god AND anime on my side!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

don’t claim to know pain if you haven’t read this post

[danhumphrey]

i cant believe there r people out there who dont like thor. the most cutting insult thor could come up with when fighting hulk was “youre the stupid avenger” and he apologized like 10 seconds later how do u not love that 

[evanbucklley]

[biologicalstepfather]

[medusabraids]

….they really had sex on that mountain with absolutely no lube

[nvclearbomb]

Understanding this, is gay culture

[smegma-factory]

I think everyone has seen Lord Of The Rings

[relishboi]

as the quality of everything in the world decreases, the quality of pictures of cats increases tenfold, and the rise has been exceptional for the past two years

[relishboi]

this picture literally is divine influence

[hminteresting]

The pharaohs daughter finding Moses at the riverbank

[relishboi]

this reply completely knocked the wind out of me

[vinduster]

me

[superawessomeguy]

I love the theory that he is some sort of trickster or chaos god

[azombietale]

[nightsky-ler]