The chosen one I'm think

☆Ninjago✿Anime✿Star Wars✿Marvel☆ ✿INTP✿ https://www.youtube.com/@I.Mart.ix_

[stove---top]

[theparadoxmachine]

On the one hand I feel like movie Bilbo (as in younger Bilbo in the Hobbit) doesn't get nearly enough physical affection, especially in comparison to the other hobbits in LOTR. On the other hand I kind of feel like if Boromir had called Bilbo "little one" and ruffled his hair like he does to Frodo, Bilbo might have decided to punch him in the dick

[ctrl-alt-em]

The Hobbit

First half, whenever the company is confronted with an obstacle / threat

The dwarves: Guess this is where we die :(

Gandalf: No, you fools! Your journey is not over! I will not let you die here! You have to retake Erebor!

Second half, whenever the company is confronted with an obstacle / threat

The dwarves: Guess this is where we die :(

Bilbo: This isn’t even my quest, you idiots! Get up and get moving! You didn’t drown now, did you?! Keep looking for the stupid door!

[yerrrdawwggg]

Sometimes Gandalf feels like a geriatric and elusive family pet that has somehow managed to live and persist through generations, and that is more in regards to his relationship with the Tooks when he comes celebrates their birthdays. I wonder the conversations the first Tooks had with other shire-hobbits, probably went something along the lines of "this is Gandalf he's passed down through the family, he may come and go as he pleases--"

He's like that one frail decrepit cat with one foot in the grave that refuses to die but somehow manages to cause a fuss but in this case with Gandalf... ✨️fireworks✨️

[giantkillerjack]

I like to imagine Gandalf has some sort of magical crystal ball that tells him the probability of different events.

- Like, when he wanted to help Thorin and Company take their home back from a dragon, he first spent weeks with his crystal ball spinning different probability scenarios, such as:

Gandalf: Okay. What if Thorin goes to fight Smaug with a small army of Dwarves? Likelihood of success?

Magic 8 Ball: 0%

Gandalf: What if he has a gigantic army of Dwarves?

Magic 8 Ball: 0.000001% chance of success

Gandalf: Hrrrmm... what if I unite all the forces of Middle Earth to stand side by side against the dragon?

Magic 8 Ball: 0%

Gandalf: How is it lower now?!??

[Weeks Later]

Gandalf, increasingly frazzled: okay okay. What if I accompany Thorin and 12 Dwarves on the quest?

Magic 8 Ball: .... 0.2% [the highest so far]

Gandalf, getting desperate: fine... how about me, Thorin, 12 Dwarves, and uhhhhh..... a Hobbit?

Magic 8 Ball: 60%

Gandalf: I'm sorry WHAT

----

Decades later, when the events of the trilogy are about to begin and force Middle Earth to face an even greater challenge than a dragon in a mountain, immediately Gandalf is just like,

"Oh we are gonna need at LEAST two hobbits for this one . . . "

[gazpachoandbooks]

Gandalf, to Bilbo: please, listen to the Took in you!

Gandalf, to Pippin: for the love of all that is holy STOP LISTENING TO THE TOOK IN YOU

[eugism]

The theory of Tooks having fae blood is one of my favorites. Especially when it comes to Bilbo. The thought of Bilbo acting weird because of something (the Ring) and nobody, not even Gandalf questioning it because "it's probably the Took blood"

And like, maybe flowers wilt and tree branches sag around him when Bilbo's upset, maybe he accidentally makes a mushroom ring around himself when he's enjoying his food. People are used to that already. "Oh Bilbo can turn invisible? That's cool, must be the Took blood." And you have Gandalf trying to remember which of the Tooks could turn invisible. Bonus points if one of the Tooks could actually turn invisible.

[enbyofdionysos]

Gandalf: Oh, you don’t want to go on an adventure? Don’t want to be cool like your mom because you care too much about what other people think of you? Don’t want to take the risk of a little discomfort to develop lifelong friendships? Scared of a little dragon? Oh well. Guess I’ll have to find another closeted middle-aged hobbit to help the leader of our company……. Oh, who’s that you ask? No one of importance. He’s only [opens the door] the Hottest Man You’ve Ever Seen In Your Life™

[ministarfruit]

the siege of erebor is so incredibly funny it's just like no you can't come in because I hate you now. I'm gonna glare at you through this hole in the wall because I hate you so much. and I hate your friend even more. and bard is just like really thorin. really.

[brothermouse-skeleton]

It's so funny to me to think that most hobbits have no idea that Gandalf is also a super important, sort of divine being because they only ever see him on his days off.

It's like if you found out that the Archangel Michael who cast Lucifer down from heaven is the same Michael who smokes weed with your weird uncle and always has the hookup with the most illegal fireworks you've ever seen

[lilies-of-thevalley]

Gandalf's Totally Foolproof I Swear This Is Gonna Work Guys strategy for protecting Middle-Earth:

apply hobbit of choice to problem

introduce big groups in smaller groups as not to spook potential host

when all goes haywire, eagles

[cameron4818]

Gandalf: So I’ve developed an elaborate plan to save middle earth from darkness

Elrond: does it-

Gandalf: it involves hobbits again yeah

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[shinraalpha]

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

[the-depressed-comedic-relief]

Gandalf during the Hobbit: good god I wish Bilbo was more naturally in tune with his Took side I feel like I have to force it out of him

Gandalf during Lord of the Rings: TOO MUCH TOOK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH PIPPIN

[laughableomen]

Hear me out x2

‘Dragon sickness vs the Hobbit’

*Bilbo casual walks out on to the ramparts to join the others*

Bilbo: Kings Fixed

Dwalin: Fuck you mean ‘kings fixed’

Bilbo: Fucked the sickness out of him

*Silence*

Thranduil: Well that’ll do it

Bonus points:

Kili: I need your blade.

Fili: My blade?

Kili: My ears I will have to cut them off. I’ve heard too much

Fili: Not before I gouge my eyes out first. I’ve seen too much

[kelltonic]

Bilbo, quite drunk (which requires an impressive amount of alcohol considering he’s a hobbit), trying to take Thorin’s shirt off so he can feel his skin.

Thorin, also drunk (Bilbo drank him under the table with ease), incredibly insecure of his many war scars and Bilbo’s probable judgement of them. He wouldn’t usually be, they’re something dwarves pride themselves on - especially since they signify his survival, reminding him to be grateful to see another day. Something that can’t be said for many of his loved ones. But Bilbo’s a gentlehobbit, the sight of his deformities may leave him revolted, or even worse - scared.

But he can’t resist Bilbo’s prying hands as the hobbit straddles his thigh.

Thorin: “…are you… okay?” Seeing Bilbo gracefully find comfort atop of his chest, imagining a very ‘I love you no matter what’ moment is commencing in Bilbo’s head.

Bilbo: Big Boobs…