mind your head

all of us, singing into the abyss

[iaintscaredofyou]

[iaintscaredofyou]

the Holy Ghost was not so much apparition

as a trick of the eye or a cataract

we see now, we see

[iaintscaredofyou]

spine in splinters by the weight of my head

every moment a new pain

every bit of tissue in some phase of rot

I practice death all day, stirring only once

high noon, dry to the bone

high moon, drier still

[iaintscaredofyou]

the pleasure of flowers

into time, my one urge has been to hide

— I’m needed in the depths !

rust and rocks, coloured like livers and muscles

a reminder that I am the soul and soil of this earth

if only I could be spread out like this, under the blue sky, as big as the sky

no

instead, I should burrow down

plant myself and sleep

[iaintscaredofyou]

Primordial Scum

if we strip the varnish, there is truth to be found

and with blood pumping through it!

invisible gas gains volume in the lungs and any word breathed out only an emission of the aether.

riding on vibrations, out between teeth before they chomp down to chew up the next chunk of sensation.

divinity runs down through matrices to become form, then food.

everything is masticated and regurgitated to no end.

there from the nutritive gunk we are born again.

[iaintscaredofyou]

bath

I whisper my conviction through parched mouth

this world has no patience for fragility

but the black sky is my home and it reaches down for me

delicate but many are the tears and they flood the streets

between the cymbals and drums I hear that black sky humming

cold water taps soft on my face and soaks through to cool my anguish

smoke and flashes are far away

and the dark, it fills my chest

[iaintscaredofyou]

all things shift and shake and burn

like boredom and life and anger

and this painful love injected in my skin

inches from my fingers and lips, radiating

you secrete poison, I’m punchdrunk

orbets and inertia hold us in to a kinetic embrace

I won’t pretend to know you, or what cataclysm our collision would bring

I’m pathetic, truly, and sorry for disturbing you

[iaintscaredofyou]

isn't the sun just a star amongst stars?

[iaintscaredofyou]

the whole room is convulsing in melodic waves

the objects in my vision balloon, then retreat

I retreat there too, to the place behind my eyes

does it exist though I’ll never be able to see it?

just darkness

an absence of light, form, matter

the space between atoms

nothing, there is no thing

[iaintscaredofyou]

I forget all the people I’ve been, I don’t know the people I’ll be

in my cave, staring up at the moon, I’m an amoeba

nothing distinct, just a vessel or a medium which waves pass through

and here I can retreat to my oddities

every gooey, sickly part on display to no one!

here I’m one with the unfixed world, changing by the moment

[iaintscaredofyou]

I’m not held up by the floor

this place has a viscous vapor in which I’m suspended

those occasional flies around my head

don’t bother me any more the fingers of the sun running across my skin

there may be ice stealing away my toes, feet, now ankles

and I may be a thousand feet from the angelic sky

but the vapor presses this environment against me

and it cradles my head and limbs

[iaintscaredofyou]

here, now

I feel exalted! And yet, entirely deprived

I can move endlessly in the hours of my life but the year is only an inch around my feet

so I’ve resigned to observation

from my narrow station I can see forever! but not all at once

I plant my feet as surely on this hand of the clock as I do in the direction it points

It’s no wonder the earth itself spins, the day chases itself around but never seeing itself on the other side

I’m not dizzy in spite of all this constant buzzing and twirling

though my attention tries to run out far enough to see itself on the other side, it’s tethered here where I stand.

In the world, under my skin, behind my eyes… All these prepositions are relative

peeking out, I can only wait with anticipation to see what unravels

no moment could be any less special than the last… or the next!

attention (slippery as it is) flies from shape to shape, feeling to feeling

I forget the subtle details as they pass but I’m impressed with an atmosphere

[iaintscaredofyou]

it’s cold and silent in the canyon

mountain walls of blue and black in perfect peace

beat slow into eternity, as they will

even when my swift beat is over

the sun having already poured out all its gold

lets evening bring its black to hang above

it’s hard, looking up, to tell which are stars and which are snow

until they fall soft on my shoulders

[iaintscaredofyou]

in the warm fog at dawn, the jewel-green is like cold water in my veins

[iaintscaredofyou]

my fingers smell of pennies

the cups of salt water sit out in a row

sapling trees and my dirty knees

are smeared with blood and snow

I have the whole world right here in my basement

a vermillion moon makes its silent decree

so I lay my head on the cold cement

and stay still to let the crows feed

[iaintscaredofyou]

I’m from science of a greater scope

and puzzles and games

and debris

rigged up by magnets

pumped up with gas

little white marbles line my mouth

I jaunt around by springs and things

through the cuts in my face

I peek out on creation

spiders crawl in my periphery

until the rug is pulled from under my feet

oh! my head weighs 60 pounds

so I pour out my mouthful

and I’m dragged and murdered out of earshot

the rockets, their captains, and

the launch pad are entirely ablaze

and light my green paper stuffing

then my laughter breaks me into pieces

anew! anew! let my junk reform anew!

when I’m unrecognizable

when I’m two molecules big

[iaintscaredofyou]

Oh but again at night When my achey bones have gone dry from baking in the daylight When my voice can no longer force itself to be heard I occupy an unsteady vessel too fragile to hold up its weight but it’s all a joke and my face is too tired to laugh I know the pendulum swings up this way sometimes and the white sun can burn me down when it’s up high it’s no comfort to see it set, it’ll be back but for now black and blue has the sky so let me drink it in