I am chronically living

Chronically living life, painfully, anxiously but with determination.

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Bring me FLOWERS! OK, homeopathic update! 6 weeks on the soft tab Spigelia and little difference. Notably, there was some strange left sided pain on starting the treatment (I am normally right sided head pain), may have been coincidence (always a sceptic, or maybe just always practical and take everything into account so can never be sure). Anyway, as I noted in a previous post, I am still struggling due to the lack of nerve block injection so, I am not sure the Spigelia has been given a chance. Also the strength of my current pharmaceuticals, which I have dropped as low as I can cope with, are possibly presenting a challenge for natural properties. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have access to the specialist homeopathic nurse, having sent my update she contacted me and we discussed a way forward. As she always does, she took everything into account, so holistic (I love it!), the soft tab Spigelia remedy has been changed to a liquid form. So, this is what I shall start. I feel strangely hopeful this time, I am hoping the random pain on the opposite side from usual marked the start of something getting into my system and this step up will make headway…..OK terrible pun! Regardless of the freezing cold weather and grey Glasgow sky, I am staying positive…..bring me flowers……in liquid form of course! I will keep you posted. #holistictherapy #homeopathicremedy #spigelia #homeopathic #homeopathy #homeopathictreatment #keepbelieving #holistichealth #chronicpain #hemicraniacontinua #migraine #chronicmigraine #headachedisorders #anxiety #mentalhealth #mentalillness #feelgoodfriday #nevergiveup #anxietysupport #believeachieve #instaupdate

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Positivity Positivity Positivity! This is what I need after a full and restless weekend, it's easy to forget how much doing the "normal stuff" takes out of you. I have had a cold which puts my head pain in orbit and been struggling to sleep for weeks now too, but I'm doing all that I can to keep going. Trying so hard just to keep pushing through with self care and positivity and the only way for me to do that, is to focus on the fact that something might change and I might get a little break through. Being thankful for anything that makes me smile as I go, embracing the little stuff and fighting the fear! It's Monday, I have stuff to do this week and new things to try. Whatever I achieve how much or little, I'm gonna try and take it as a step forward, try and be grateful for what I did do, and try to not worry about what I didn't! #mondaymotivation #mondaymorning #mondaymood #believeachieve #believeinyourself #stayingpositive #anxiety #chronicpain #chronicmigraine #hemicraniacontinua #headachedisorders #fibromyalgia #fighter #warrior #mentalillness #painquotes #anxietyquotes #instaquote #chronicillness #chronicpainawareness

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Lots to do this weekend, work and fun, daunted by the fact I have been feeling so rough! I dislike the process that my brain goes through of repeatedly processing every possible scenario and sticking on the worst case, blowing everything into something it's not.....trying to think positively so that I can enjoy the fun stuff, if Monday comes and all is not done I will cope, it's not the end of the world.....easier said than done! But NOT GIVING UP, gonna get me a good Friday Feeling! #theanxietylife #anxietyquotes #anxiety #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #mentalillnesses nesses #keepstriving #fridaymotivation #fridayfeeling #chronicmigraine #migraineawareness #hemicraniacontinua #panic #anxietydisorder #stayingpositive #everydayrecovery #everydayrecovery #mentalhealth

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

When the mind is full and in pain, a walk by the river! I often wonder why it is that when I walk next to water I feel a sense of freedom, like I can push myself further, like my mind is calmer and whilst everything slows I get everywhere faster all at once. ❤ 💦💧💦💧💦💧❤️ #stopandbreathe #riverwalk #breathedeep #calmingthemind #calmingthesoul #timeout #thursdaymotivation #everydayrecovery #anxiety #chronicpain #chronicmigraine #hemicraniacontinua #fibromyalgia #mentalillness #mentalhealth #anxietyfree #naturaltherapy #naturalsolutions #freeyourmind #believeyoucanbe

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Another tough few days, when is it not I hear you say! Make up on, much to do and believing I can do this today even if it is fuelled by topiramate, it will have my usual sprinkle of glitter on the top.....that would be highlighter to hide the worn out face! It's a day for believing in myself! And I believe in you too! No matter how woeful or wobbly you feel, let's do Wednesday together.....with glitter of course! xxx #wednesdaymotivation #wednesday #chronicillness #chronicillnessquotes #anxietyquotes #chronicpain #chronicpainawareness #everydayrecovery #selfbelief #yougotthis #migraineawareness #chronicmigraine #fibromyalgia #hemicraniacontinua #headachedisorders #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalillnesses #warrior #believeyoucanbe #believeachieve #anxiety #anxietysupport

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

It's has been a super mixed week of pain and emotions, this morning I am feeling wrung out! Going to try and be kind to myself today, it's days like this I need reminding, not OK, is OK.....a little meditation required I think, and of course wearing my tee so I don't let myself forget! #notokisok #oktonotbeok #saturday #saturdaystrength #painquotes #anxietyquotes #headachedisorders #meditation #relaxingsaturday #bekindtoyourself #migraineawareness #emotionalrollercoaster #hemicraniacontinua #fatigue #naturaltherapy #chronicpain #chronicillness #mentallydrained #mentalillness

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

So much to do, feeling rough, feeling determined, but the internal chatter is already driving me to distraction! Today, I have to get everything done, but it sure as hell adds to the exhaustion when your own mind won't shut up! I'm gonna beat the chatter, let's do this Thursday! #anxietyquotes #theanxietylife #lifewithanxiety #mentalillness #mentalillnesses #mentalillnesswarrior #thursdaymotivation #letsdothis #mentalhealth #endstigma #chronicillness #thursday #instapic #picoftheday #quotesforlife #believeyoucanbe #fighter #migraineawareness

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Taking my reasons to celebrate, where I can get them! First exam of the 3rd year semester back and it was a solid A 🌟 To be fair, I am currently researching and writing about pain & anxiety, so the topic should come easy to me, BUT given my cognitive struggles of late, my inability to see straight and the lack of nerve block injection, I'm gonna revel in my A for a few days! #achievementunlocked #feelingproud #believeinyourself #nevergiveup #backtothebooks #headachedisorders #anxiety #migraineaura #chronicmigraine #chronicpain #fibromyalgia #believeachieve #studyskills #challenge #celebratingsuccess #mentalhealthwarrior #chronicpainwarrior

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

This picture was the start of something new for me……@mindthatdoor ! I suffer from anxiety, I don’t leave the house alone and haven’t done for nearly two years. I don’t like loud, I don’t like unpredictable, I’m paranoid, I have a fear of having a HC attack and I suffer from low blood pressure and get dizzy and light headed at the drop of a hat. On top of this my medication causes cognitive impairment, I can forget where I am, my name, what I am doing, how to get home in an instant. Some of my anxieties are irrational, some rational, this makes it particularly hard to treat and the medication that would have been prescribed previously lowers my blood pressure so is a no go. I generally leave the house with my husband or my children (who are pretty much grown ups now!) but even at that my anxiety and stress levels in doing this, going somewhere unknown, or if my headache conditions are particularly beastly, are still impacted. I try to push through, but I miss the days of jumping in my car, popping to the shop, just the simple things! Off the back of a difficult outing where I’d had an HC attack in front of people in a restaurant, I was deflated but was convinced by my other half to go back out. Not relishing the prospect, we went for dinner, I was wrong, it was great. Himself is a photographer and he’d taken some pics of me sitting outside the restaurant that evening which I particularly liked. And then it came to us, to move me out my comfort zone, let’s make it a project. Taking a photo of me on stairs outside of different doors and posting them to Instagram, this would push me to go outside, try and break the cycle of staying within my comfort zone, but with a little focus and support. And that is, @mindthatdoor , My MIND at that door, every picture will be a reminder to me that I have pushed myself a little further, and I hope in some way will re-MIND others that they can do the same! Follow my journey @mindthatdoor (at Merchant City)

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Living the chai life! GP this morning and mentioned in passing my daily nausea and sickness, nothing medication wise can be given without risking side effects if taken daily long term, risks I'm not prepared to take! So, continuing the natural therapy, and the random "please stop talking now you're going to make me sick" sentences are likely to continue whilst I keep trying to get this under control. Upside, I totally love this tea!

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

WHATEVER! Negate or Educate….. Learning to let go is one of the hardest parts of chronic illness. Scrutinising everything that is said will most likely make your conditions worse. BUT, and it is a big but, when you feel isolated, in pain, insecure, reliant & anxious it is near impossible not to pour over and tear apart that missed call, visit, ill-timed comment, lack of comment or bizarre statement! We can never expect those who don’t suffer from our conditions to ever fully understand what it is like to live with them, after all even for us we all experience them differently. I often read comments like “oh if only they could live like me for a few days then they would know”. Really, would they really? Being chronic, comes after quite some time, PLUS we are all different, feel things, see things and cope with things differently. Perhaps it is also not the best solution to wish any of this on another either!?! So what then? Generally, my philosophy is to attempt to see the good, I work from the baseline that quite possibly whatever was said or done was probably not intended to make me feel the way that it did. Sometimes it is truly because people don’t understand what you are going through. So, I find I have a choice, sometimes this depends on the situation, the person, or even just the energy I have available to deal with it. I either negate or educate! Let it go, and I mean really, let it go, let it fly away into the sky in one big breath. OR, educate, calmly and kindly take time to explain, explain why for example when you have explained that hemicrania continua means constant headache and are then asked what you do on a pain free day, you are not likely to have a pain free day and that no a paracetamol won’t help! It really is the case that people don’t always hear everything you say, or struggle to understand how you could possibly function at all coping with what you do, taking that time to explain can sometimes make a real difference. Letting go is hard for sure, caring less about others opinions of you but continuing to be a caring person is a difficult balance to achieve. It is however achievable, for me by using negate or educate!

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

It's Monday, I am anxious and ouch, BUT, trying to focus on the fact it's just another day and I can do this. It's ok to feel like this and it is ok to say, just do what you can, because that's enough! It's just another day and it'll be ok! #mondaymorning #mondaymotivation #anxietyquotes #itsokaynottobeokay #stayingpositive #anxiety #chronicpain #migraine #Hemicraniacontinua #chronicmigraine #mentalhealth #letsdothis

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Just realised that preparing for a cinema trip with me takes much planning, glare glasses, check, ear plugs, check, rescue meds check, responsible adult haha, check, seats where noone can sit next to us, check, one hundred questions, check and that's not the half of it....who cares, I made it out with my favourite people, there is no stopping me this week I refuse to be beaten....#happysaturday #bladerunner #yougotthis (at ODEON)

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

Blooming Frustrated! It is 6 weeks since starting the homeopathic Spigelia remedy, and I am frustrated. No real success, however, I'm not sure that it is wholly down to the remedy not working. I'm a huge believer in chronic conditions, particularly when they are complex or multiple, in requiring a multidimensional approach and right now I'm not feeling the remedy has been given a fair chance to work. The nerve block that I should have had at the beginning of October didn't happen due to there being no nurse to deliver, to date I've had no answer as to when this will happen. It was desperately needed, it helps to reduce my pain for a few weeks, allows a little mental adjustment and prepares me to battle until the next one. Another drug I was given, flunarizine, knocked me off my feet literally, blood pressure meds and I don’t agree, it was a long shot and a chance I should've known better than to take but desperation kicked in. I'm trying other supplements CoQ10, kicked sugar back out my diet and trying hard to stay positive while I battle the NHS to get some kind of answer as to when I will get my nerve block but right now I feel that everything I am doing is futile as it will be a combination with the injection that is likely to succeed and without it it's a) hard to know if any of these other remedies will work to a desired level, and b) just to function full stop! I am however, not going to let the system beat me, I am battling on, and I will get an answer.....but feeling blooming frustrated!

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

It can't buy me happiness, it can't buy me pain free or anxiety free, but it can cheer me, ice cream not money that is.....so I'm with the ice cream club tonight....bring on the cheer me ups!!!!! 🍦🍨🍧 #saturdaynightfeels #icecream #cheermeup #chronicallyliving #believeyoucanbe #chronicpain #migraine #anxiety #mentalhealth #hemicraniacontinua #therapy #naturaltherapy #foodgoals

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

It's mid October and I'm wondering if I will be seen outdoors without a hat before April 2018....the cold, wet Scottish weather and I are not friends, stealing the positive though it was fab to get some fresh air in the lungs! #chronicallyliving #believeyoucanbe #feelgoodfriday #chronicpainawareness #migraine #hemicraniacontinua #ouch #coldweather #hat #freshair #thinkingpositive (at Ayr By The Sea)

[iamchronicallyliving-blog]

This #worldmentalhealthday let's spread the word that it is ok to be not ok #anxiety #wmhd #wmhd2017 #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #chronicallyliving #chronicillness #believeyoucanbe