WHAT HAPPENS IN SEPHORA STAYS IN SEPHORA ★.ᐟ
𝜗𝜚 ft. blue lock boys nagi seishiro, isagi yoichi, bachira meguru & barou shoei x fem!reader
▯ synopsis: you force the boys to help you go shopping for makeup as a group and all hell breaks loose in the store.
▯ warnings: swearing, cursing.
▯ genre: fluff, crack.
▯ wc: 3.7k
▯ divider credit: @isisjupiter
▯ an: kind of a late post :// something light and fluffy. this was deep in my drafts for ages so i had to get it out! i’ve written blue lock fics before but it’s just never made it out of my drafts >< annd thank you smm for 2k followers T^T i’m so grateful!! i hope you enjoy reading ~
“okay! listen up team. today’s a massive sale, so we need to strategize. store opens in twenty minutes, so if you need to go to the bathroom then do it now.” you announce, your hands on your hips like a general leading her troops.
the boys are lined up in front of you, isagi has a small notepad and pen in his hands that he brought with him as he waits to jot down your plan, bachira has his fists pumped in excitement while he waits for your instructions. barou, on the other hand, has his arms crossed over his chest and muttering something about why he even agreed to come here in the first place.
and nagi… well, nagi’s just in his own little world and tapping away at his phone.
you narrow your eyes at him, marching straight up to him. “sei, did you hear what i said? stop playing that stupid game and focus!”
he glances up for a brief second. “huh? but i’m almost done with this level. can you repeat what you just said in five minutes?”
you grab his face firmly, catching him by surprise as you turn it towards the large crowd of people formed outside the store. “you see that? the second those doors open, they’ll trample you faster than you can blink. so, focus sei!”
nagi lets out a lazy groan. “it’s fine. i’m taller than all of them. i won’t get lost, promise.” he says, pouting like a sulky cat.
you let go of his face, scoffing as you shoot him a glare. “you’ve clearly never been to sephora during a sale. this is war sei. i’m serious!”
he nods absently, his eyes still glued to his screen and still tapping away. “mhm, i’m listening…”
“sei!”
barou frustratedly groans and snatches the phone right out of nagi’s hands. “this is so annoying. just listen to her so we can get this over with. the sooner we finish, the sooner i get to go home.” he holds the phone high in the air, moving it around while nagi half-heartedly reaches for it like a lazy toddler.
“so, y/n… what exactly are we looking for? lipstick? lipgloss?” isagi asks, his eyes drifting from you back to his notepad like he’s taking notes for a mission.
you rest your hands on your hips, giving him a disappointed look. “is lipstick and lipgloss the only makeup you guys know?”
isagi’s eyes dart around guiltily with his pen hovering in midair. “uhh, well—”
“yep!” bachira interrupts and grins brightly at you as if this is the correct answer.
barou leans down slightly to isagi, his arms still folded as he mutters, “that’s the stuff they put on their lips right?”
“i’m pretty sure, yeah.” isagi whispers back.
you slap your forehead and groaned. “you guys are completely hopeless.”
nagi yawns without even pretending to care. “i’m kinda hungry.” he mumbles. “maybe i’ll call reo to bring me something to eat.”
when you spot nagi casually turning on his heel to walk off, you reach out and grab the hood of his jumper and yanked him back. “nice try but you’re not going anywhere.”
he lets out a lazy whine, flailing his arms like a little child though he’s not really putting in any real effort to escape your grasp.
you turn back to the rest of the group, “alright, we’re splitting up into teams. shoei, you’re with yoichi and meguru.” you explain. “and you, you’re with me. so i can keep an eye on you.”
“ehh? can’t i get some food first? i’m starving—”
you drop nagi’s hood and grabbed him by the collar before pulling him close until your foreheads almost touch. nagi’s eyes go wide in terror.
“i don’t care how hungry you are. i am not leaving this line until i get everything i came here for. do you have any idea how long i’ve been waiting for this sale? if i miss out on anything because of you… i’ll strangle you in your sleep. got it?” you demand while looking him dead in the eyes.
nagi stares back at you in pure shock, he blinks a few times before silently nodding his head. “m-mm… got it.”
“good.” you say as you release him.
nagi quietly moves to stand back next to isagi and bachira, who are also completely scared out of their minds.
you pull out a couple sheets of printed paper from your shoulder bag before handing them out one by one to the boys. “here’s the list of everything i need, i put pictures on them in case you don’t know what they are—oh, the colours and brands are written right next to them. any questions?”
barou raises his hand lazily with an unimpressed expression on his face. “yeah, i’ve got a question. what the hell is an eyelash curler and why does this tiny thing cost so much?”
“wait, what is that?” isagi asks, he quickly scans the sheet of paper in his hands. “is that really makeup? i don’t even have it on my list.”
“eyelash curler? that sounds like something a serial killer would have in their basement.” bachira says, looking at you in horror.
you pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a resigned sigh. “you all have different products on your lists. i don’t need more than one of the same thing. and no, meguru… an eyelash curler isn’t something a serial killer would have.”
you turn your head toward isagi who has his hand raised up. “yes?”
“what if we need a bathroom break?” he asks.
“no bathroom breaks.” you reply flatly.
isagi groans under his breath, scratching the tip of his pen against his head. “i didn’t know shopping for makeup was this hard…”
nagi starts to lazily raise his hand but you quickly shoot him a look before he can speak. “no questions from you. you’re with me.”
before anyone can say anything further, a wave of high-pitched squeals erupts from the crowd. you immediately turn toward the entrance. “alright, it’s almost time. work together and stay focused. everybody fan out!”
“yes ma’am!” isagi and bachira exclaim in unison.
you link your arm with nagi before dragging him to the very front of the crowd.
he’s so tall that his head sticks out like a beacon above everyone else’s.
the second the door opens, chaos erupts.
you tighten your grip on nagi and pulled him inside. you weave through the crowd while dragging along a mildly horrified nagi.
~
meanwhile, on the other side of the store, bachira’s being cornered by an overly enthusiastic saleswoman.
she’s waving a bottle in front of his face, “this is our new setting spray. it’ll change your routine forever!”
his hands flail helplessly. “r-really, i don’t need this…”
“bachira!” isagi suddenly shouts. he runs over to his friend’s rescue. “come on, don’t split up from the team or y/n will have your head.”
isagi quickly gives the saleswoman a respectful bow, then grabs his friend’s arm before dragging him away towards an aisle where barou is already waiting for them.
“barou, did you find that eyelash thingy?” isagi asks, slightly out of breath.
barou bends down and picks up the said ‘eyelash thingy’ and inspects it like it’s an alien artifact. “of course i did, wasn’t that hard to find.” he then goes over his list another time. he scoffs, “does she really need all of this junk? what a waste of money.”
“i know right? like, look at this…” isagi holds up his list for barou. “translucent powder… how can a powder be transparent?”
“i don’t think that’s what translucent means, you idiot.” barou replies, he then gestures toward another aisle. “it’s probably over there somewhere. it’s for the face right?”
isagi squints down at his paper and goes over it again for the third time. “ughhh… why didn’t y/n write descriptions for them? these pictures are barely helping me.”
bachira pops his head between them. “hey, why don’t we just ask someone?”
“ohhh!” isagi exclaims, snapping his fingers as if bachira just solved a murder mystery. “good idea bachira!”
the two of them wander off together, leaving barou alone and confused.
he sighs, shaking his head and mutters ‘idiots’ to himself before returning back to his list.
~
over in the lipstick aisle, you’re peacefully taking your time browsing through the colours while nagi stands behind you wearing his usual bored expression.
he feels for his phone but only just remembered that barou had taken it off him before, he internally sighs.
you turn around to nagi, holding up three lip tints. “which colour do you think would look better on me?”
he blinks, tilting his head to the side and scratches his head in confusion. “aren’t they all the same?”
“they’re not the same, look closer!” you shove them right up to his face, he moves his head back a little to avoid getting smacked by them.
“really?” nagi asks, he takes one from your hand and holds it up to the light, turning it slowly so he can get a better look. “they’re literally the same…”
“they’re not the same! here, let me prove it to you.” you say as you start neatly swatching all the colours onto your arm. “see? totally different.”
nagi leans down to take a closer look. his lips form a small ‘o’ when he finally realises that you’re right.
he taps his chin in thought, then points to the middle shade. “this one… would look better on you.”
your face immediately lights up in excitement. you never thought you’d ever see the day that nagi seishiro would give an opinion on which lip tint colour you should get.
“really? okay, i’ll get this one then!”
the two of you keep going through all the colours until you run out of any space on your arms to test out the colours. “ugh, great. i’ve used up all my arm.”
nagi glances over at your arm, they’re both decorated in different shades of lip tints, lipsticks and lipglosses.
he lets out a quiet sigh and lifts his own arm lazily out to you. “here, you can use mine.”
“really?!” you exclaim, your eyes are practically sparkling now. “thank you sei!”
he hums in response but he’s already regretting it. this is such a hassle but seeing you this happy? well, how can he even resist when you have that look on your face?
~
at the same time, isagi and bachira are desperately trying to locate someone who can explain what ‘translucent powder’ actually is.
they finally find a sales assistant and isagi rushes up to her. “hi! sorry—hello—um… can you explain what this is?” he asks, holding up the list you gave him as he points to the powder.
the saleswoman gives him a kind smile, “of course! translucent powder is…”
bachira leans in way too close to her face. “is it actually invisible? like ninja smoke?”
she blinks. “…uh, no sir.”
“oh.” bachira says with mild disappointment. isagi elbows him. “bro, let her speak.”
the saleswoman keeps smiling awkwardly, already regretting clocking into work today.
“it’s a setting powder used to—”
“oi!” barou’s voice booms. “explain this.” he demands as he marches over to them. he holds up the eyelash curler to the saleswoman. “what does this thing do and why does it look like a medieval torture device?”
“oh, um… that’s used to curl eyelashes.” she laughs awkwardly.
barou flinches as his face contorts into pure horror. “on purpose?!”
“woaah. can i try it on you?” bachira exclaims, sounding a bit too excited about it.
“do you want to fucking die?!” barou barks as he takes a step back. he then chucks it into isagi’s hands. “here. you figure this out.”
isagi stares down at it like it’s a live grenade that’s about to go off. “why do i have to hold it?!”
bachira leans over isagi’s shoulders and whispers, “can i try it on you instead?”
“what?! no!”
the saleswoman raises her hands defensively. “please, don’t try it on anyone—”
bachira suddenly gets distracted by a bunch of eyeshadow palettes as he wanders off into another aisle.
isagi’s just about to chase after him like a parent trying to keep her child on a leash but barou grabs him by the hoodie and yanks him back. “you’re not going anywhere until we get everything on these damn lists so we can go the fuck home. you two idiots still haven’t found that damn powder right?”
“I KNOW but i don’t know where—!”
the saleswoman tries to intervene, “please, sir… don’t fight or yell in the store, i’ll be happy to take you to where we keep the translucent pow—”
barou groans, snatches the paper from isagi’s hand and squints at it. “this is so stupid. why does she need all of this junk? why am i even here?”
isagi pats his arm sympathetically. “because she’s your friend and you care about her. we all do.”
barou deadpans. “no. i was forced.”
“same thing.” isagi says, shrugging.
before barou can argue back, bachira’s voice echoes from another aisle. “isagiiii! i found it! i found the invisible powder—oops—i think i just broke something…”
“what?? what did you break?!” isagi shouts as he sprints towards the noise. “what… what did you do?! what happened?!”
isagi stares at the mess in front of him, the floor looks like a crime scene made of loose powder and bachira standing in the middle of it all, coated in white dust.
bachira lets out a little shaky, guilty laugh and holds up the powder in his hand. “f-found it…” he squeaks.
“bachira! you’re going to get us banned from here and if y/n found out she’ll kill all of us!” isagi exclaims, his palms now sweating from imagining your wrath.
barou arrives a second later, his eyes immediately widening at the sight. “you idiot! did you just destroy merchandise?!”
“i swear it was an accident!” bachira protests. “i just picked it up but it was already opened and it said tester on it—so i tried to test it but nothing came out—but when i pulled off this plastic thing, it just exploded!”
barou crosses his arms, glaring at bachira. “you moron. why would you test it out? you don’t even wear makeup.”
“whoops… did i mess up?” bachira asks, his entire face still looks like a ghost.
“you look like you lost a fight with a flour bag.” barou says.
isagi reaches for the tissues. “NO MORE TESTING ANYTHING OUT!”
a nearby worker approaches them, she narrows her eyes at the boys. “excuse me, who was responsible for this?”
isagi immediately bows at a perfect ninety-degree angle. “i’m SO sorry! we’ll pay for the mess! please don’t ban us… or she’ll kill us.”
barou groans under his breath and rubs his forehead in frustration. “idiot… i’m not paying for bachira’s mess. he did this, he’s paying for it.”
the worker sighs as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “fine… just be careful next time, and make sure to tell the girls at the counter about this mess.”
bachira nods, “yes ma’am! i’ll make sure to be extra careful!”
once the worker leaves, bachira is almost immediately distracted once again as he runs off into another aisle.
“bachira, wait!” isagi exclaims, rushing after him.
barou pretty much loses his mind and ready to scream his lungs out.
~
“okay…” you say as you scan the shelves in the skincare section. “i need toner next.”
“how many?” nagi asks.
“just one.”
he nods and picks up the first thing he sees. “this one. i think i’ve seen reo use one of these before.”
“that’s… sunscreen, sei.”
nagi blinks. “oh.”
you gently spin him around to the correct shelf. “try again champ.”
he scans the bottles more carefully this time, and finally, he picks up the right toner and hands it to you with a proud little nod. “this it?”
you gasp dramatically, taking it from him with both hands. “well done, sei! you’re improving!”
he’s clearly pleased with himself but gives you a nonchalant shrug. “i’m a fast learner.”
“you want a sticker?”
he blinks down at you, “are you actually going to give me one?”
you laugh. “no, sei.”
nagi’s face shifts back to his usual straight and bored facial expression. “then, don’t offer.”
~
back to the three stooges, isagi’s staring at the last items on his list. “okay…contour stick. that’s like…crayon for your face right?”
barou snatches the list from him yet again. “how am i supposed to know? does it look like i contour my face?!”
isagi sighs, only to realise a moment later that bachira is nowhere to be seen… again. “where’s bachira?”
barou’s eyes widen. “where the fuck did he go now?!”
“he wandered off again!” isagi starts to panic for the hundredth time ever since stepping foot into the store. “quick! we have to find him or we’ll never be able to leave!”
they both start speed-walking through the aisles, weaving around the other customers. “bachira!” isagi calls out.
“BACHIRA!” barou shouts even louder.
a faint voice calls back to them, “guys—i found something cool!”
they follow the voice and find bachira holding like ten makeup brushes in his hands. “look, they’re so soft!” he says, rubbing them on his cheeks.
isagi grabs him by the shoulders. “PUT. THEM. DOWN.”
“but they feel so nice—”
“NOW.”
bachira sulks as he sadly puts them back down. “i’ll just come back for these later.”
~
you’re now testing out perfumes with nagi standing behind you, his tall figure looming over you like an overgrown tree.
you spritz a sample card, nagi leans down next to your ear and takes a subtle sniff at the card too, “that smells good.”
you’re a little surprised that’s he’s participating as you turn slightly to him. “you like it?”
he nods once. “mhm. smells like you.”
your cheeks warm at his little comment. “…huh? what does that mean?”
“dunno.” he says, already picking up another perfume. “just… smells like you.”
ah, that’s right. he’s not even trying, nagi’s just naturally always like this. you brush it off and reach for another scent. “okay, what about this one?”
nagi leans in again, but a bit too close this time as his hair brushes against your cheek. even though you’ve been friends with him for so long… you’re pretty sure your heart just raced.
he inhales softly, then shrugs. “doesn’t smell like you. i don’t like it.”
at this point, he has to be doing this on purpose right? there’s no way he’s accidentally this cute.
you force yourself to shake off nagi’s shameless comments. “okay, i just need…mascara, blush, concealer and then we’re done!”
“got it. i’ll go grab them.”
“y-you?! alone?”
“yeah, be right back.” he says, already walking off.
…he’s definitely going to die here.
or so you think, because exactly five minutes later, nagi strolls back. completely unharmed and holding all three items.
“SEI?!” you snatch them from his hands, your eyes going wide. they’re all the right shades, the right brands, everything! “how did you—?!”
“i asked someone.” he says simply, nodding toward a girl. the girl’s staring at him with hearts in her eyes like she’s just seen a mythical creature.
honestly? that’s fair. you can’t really blame her. if you weren’t so close to him and if you didn’t see him everyday, you’d probably gawk at his looks too.
“thank you, sei.” you say, looking up at him with a warm, relieved smile. “let’s go meet up with the others. i’m sure they’re done by now too, and then we can go home!”
nagi just… stares down at you with his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his face unreadable like always. his eyes fixated on your face, the way you’re beaming at him, the way you’re smiling at him.
you know, you’re actually really pretty when you’re not threatening his life.
“mm, okay.” he murmurs.
you and nagi make your way to the checkout line when suddenly…
CRASH!
isagi slams into the side of your basket, your foreheads bumping hard into each other, bachira bumps into nagi—knocking him off balance for a split second and barou almost takes out a whole shelf when nagi’s elbow accidentally hits him in the face.
“ow…” you rub your forehead, wincing at the pain.
you look bachira up and down, confused as to why half of his face is covered in powder. “what the hell happened to you?!”
“WE GOT EVERYTHING ON OUR LISTS!” bachira beams proudly.
“meguru, that’s not what i asked…”
barou points at him, rolling his eyes. “this idiot did it to himself so if you’re looking to blame someone, this is all him.”
“i tried to stop him…” isagi lets out a tiny squeak. “but, he kept running off. a-also we kind of broke some things and we still need to pay for the damages.”
“WE?! there’s no we, there’s only this guy since he couldn’t stop touching stuff he wasn’t supposed to.” barou yells.
you smack your forehead, dragging it down your face as you groan. “i should’ve just came alone.”
nagi leans down a little closer to you, “these guys are a lost cause. can we eat now?”
~
the five of you sit at a food court table with each a tray of food in front of you.
nobody talks. no one. it’s just silent eating.
you glance around at the casualties, bachira still has powder smudged across his face as he’s munching on his fries. isagi’s blankly staring at the table like he’s just experienced some lifetime trauma. barou’s still quietly muttering complaints and nagi’s sipping on his drink, completely unbothered like nothing happened.
and you? you’re tired. physically, emotionally and spiritually.
“why is makeup shopping so complicated…” isagi whispers, breaking the silence.
barou grunts. “next time, she’s ordering online.”
“i had fun.” bachira says with a cheerful smile, even though he looks like he’s going through it the most.
you let your forehead fall onto the table with a loud sigh. “…i can’t take you guys anywhere.”
nagi leans back in his seat and looks down at you. “we did good though.”
“yeah…” you mumble, still face-planted on the table.
then bachira, of course it’s bachira, asks through a mouthful of fries, “so, when do we get to come back? i had so much fun today.”
your head snaps up so fast you almost get whiplash. “DON’T EVEN JOKE.”
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