I Am Not A Serial Killer @iamnotaserialkiller - Tumblr Blog

if you're a ceaseless watcher it must feel good as fuck to turn your gaze upon a wretched thing

a part of us never left that mountain

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

#me when i see a recipe say to add an ungodly amount of garlic: finally a recipe gets it!! (adds the ungodly amount plus 2 more cloves)#its never enough

evilnicegirl

maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?

nypaingers

So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.

evilnicegirl

trash-panda-gorl

Can’t just leave this in the tags, @the-starboy-symbiont

milfyspamton

anyone remember what these things are called like little cartoony expressive doohickies i think they have a real name but i can’t remember

milfyspamton

im not fucking crazy.

milfyspamton

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

evengirlierballs

They're squeans I'm pretty sure! If they pop like that anyway. But the term for this kind of "symbol to refer to the general vibe of something in art" is called "Emanata" because it emanates from a person or object.

creepymutelilbugger

what the fuck. comics are magic

charlesoberonn

somebody put a quimpsy spurl on my blorbo

eirapparent

she quimps on my jarns til I nittles

nature-travel-photography

Geothermal magic in the heart of New Zealand - Author: LyraHorizon

miss-americanbi

how the absolute FUCK am i supposed to live long and prosper in these conditions

cannibalchicken

toastyglow-rb

1920s gangster voice: when you stare into the boid the boid stares back

xxenon-54

danicalzone

A dreaded sunny day so I’ll meet you at the cemetery gates 🪓❤️⚡️

supersonicart

Available as fine art prints and more on INPRNT: The excellent, wonderful work of artist EJ Chong!

narrenstrich

mojo-chojoo

eye coded vs eye coded

also jon that was hot i didnt know how cool you would be using your power like that

plumebeat

the pitt women sketch dump

tcustodisart

Happy Pride Month!

Faust is back for the 5th time! If you want to use the flag of your choice as an avatar, they're under the cut. They're free to use as long as it's for personal use only.