All The Pretty Things

[memory-is-treachery]

u heard him ladies

[dreamvisiongirlfriend]

so many mornings I need Dionysus to do this for me

[chaoticace2005]

At least they agree on one thing.

[henstomper]

too many people see evolution as just animals becoming better animals when the truth is that theres a species of boar that evolved to die because its tusks grow into its skull because the males with long tusks fuck the most

[paleo-mammalia]

Yep.

And don’t forget the Irsih elk, which supposedly went extinct because its antlers were too bleeding huge for it to function, and the ladies wouldn’t bang a man if his antlers were not huge enough.

[smeasel]

[you-had-me-at-hallow]

I have a headcanon that Hermione insists her children attend some primary muggle schooling before Hogwarts, just as she had done. Now, imagine Arthur Weasley attending his grandchild’s science fair, being the ultra proud grandfather….and yet also completely geeking out over absolutely EVERYTHING.

[jamiesshelves]

Canon

[themiscyra1983]

“That is a volcano, that is a VERY SMALL VOLCANO, how - young lady, how did you make this? Baking soda and food coloring? MARVELOUS!”

[worlds-of-ink-and-paper]

the kids would love him.

[bluefirecas]

Never have I ever loved anything more than I love this

[hexcoderose]

All the muggle teachers would think he was being so adorable, “pretending” not to know how potato batteries and mini-volcanoes work, fawning over the hard work the kids did on even the simplest the projects. And he comes every year, because after the kids have aged out (”gone on to some boarding school in Scotland,” the teachers say over bad coffee in the break room, “they didn’t seem the type”), he gets an honorary invitation to the fair every year, because he never stops making the kids feel smart and good. 

[elfwreck]

“And this airy-o-plane, it flies by means of a… rubber band? Did I hear that correctly? No magic at all? Doesn’t flap its wings like a bird? MARVELOUS! What an ingenious method of flight!” *looks around* “You, sir! With the ribbons! This child deserves one of those prizes!”

[hamelin-born]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

This is so wholesome. 

Arthur Weasley, as the Science Fair attendee we all deserve.

[darthmelyanna]

After a couple years Arthur Weasley brings his own ribbons. They shimmer in a way that makes everyone wonder what kind of ink he uses—“secrets!” he tells anyone who asks—but they’re beautiful. They’re coveted even more than the official ribbons, because they remind you that while he was heaping praise on you, you felt magical.

[j0rrated]

i have NPC energy cause most of my replies consist on

ok

NICE

hell ye!

no…….

yes?

sdfghjhghjkjDFGHJKGHJJDFGSS

thank you so much!

fuck!

[j0rrated]

more reasons im a NPC:

if i stand still for too long i start doing idle animations 

will only talk to people if they start conversation first 

my walking speed is too fast to be walking and too slow to be running

if you talk to me too many times i start repeating dialogue

if you do a small favor for me i will follow you around without questions

i will drop a lot exposition if you ask

sometimes i get stuck on doors

you may stand in a straight line from me holding a corpse but its more than 10 meters so i will not notice

low HP

[friends-first-deactivated201205]

[coolsaddad-blog]

How to tape up your hands before a fight

[coelasquid]

Useful reference?

[molecular-despot]

Let’s go beat someone up! But no seriously, does this prevent pain or something ? What do these bandages actually serve ? 

[coelasquid]

It keeps your bones aligned to prevent injury, compresses soft tissue to make the fist more rigid, and pads the knuckles. Skull bones are sturdier than hand bones, and even if you know what you’re doing there’s a high risk of damaging your metacarpals if you punch someone barehanded. It’s why they recommend if you find yourself in a fight unprepared to bunt their nose with the butt of your palm, because if the other person tucks their head and you end up hitting their forehead instead it’ll do a lot less damage to your palm than your knuckles.

[angelicpaintbrush]

Tumblr teach’n you how to fucks someone’s shit up.

[incomprehensible-hogwash]

@warriormale @imfemalewarrior

[imfemalewarrior]

For any followers that might need to know how to do this! There are also Youtube tutorials you can watch if you find the above diagram confusing! 

Good luck in your training! 

-FemaleWarrior 

[aquaticallyinclined]

“When they were little girls, they decided that they would be best friends forever. A whale never forgets a promise.” -Anneliese Juergensen

[heatherbat-deactivated20130526]

i have now died. of joy.

[kakaphoe]

I don’t think I’ve seen art of an old mermaid (mermatron? mergranny?) before.

I love it!

[boxlunches]

Oh look it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen

[startrekrenegades]

This is really amazing but I have to say, I read “mermatron” not as “mer-matron,” but as “merma-tron“ and I was just like MERMATRON. AUTOWHALES. SWIM OUT. and I’m ruined my brain is ruined I’m so sorry

[retronerdinfinity-deactivated20]

The master of burns Yours Truly

[weepycat]

we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

[weepycat]

it’s goop!

[weepycat]

GUESS WHO HAD GOOPLETS! SIX ENTIRE BABIES! mama goop held onto her gooplings for an entire week longer than she had to, so the gooplitos came out very well done and fluffy!!

[robotjiji-deactivated20190529]

LIL GOOPS

[frikiskrew]

[obesecamels]

There’s a lot to unpack here. +the flexibility to get in that pose +the balance to stay on the skateboard +the strength to pull back a bowstring with your toes +the dexterity to hit a target while moving +the coordination… not hand-eye, but foot-eye …I don’t know what to do with these things now that I’ve unpacked them…

[blvckgeezus]

How is this even something you find out you can do

[deanpinterester]

hashtag animashun

[insideguppysworld]

This is so cute!

[candiikismet]

Soooo adorable

[alice-curious-labyrinth13-blog]

[quasarkisses]

don’t even talk to me about how perfect Atlantis is

[furbearingbrick]

the chemistry between these characters was FLAWLESS

[i-am-a-fish]

let’s pour one out for all the janitors who clean and never get enough appreciation

[elainapoststhings]

Don’t they gotta clean up what we pour out

[i-am-a-fish]

fuck stop it everyone the post is cancelled everyone please stop fuck what have I done

[andersonsallpurpose]

let’s clean one up for the janitors

[wiselwisel]

[cydonianmystery-deactivated-dea]

N U N   R A V E

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

BLESS THIS MOSH PIT

[debonairbexar-deactivated202108]

“Drop the blessed bass sister Mary Bethel!”

[iamsaaaam]

I've started saying internet trash phrases to annoy my husband. Send me your faves so he can remember why he loves me and to keep our relationship spicy

[truckhole-deactivated20181203]

god today i ID’d an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner

[margbarcis]

that was the devil

[scartidy]