iberatherboredtoday @iberatherboredtoday - Tumblr Blog

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thecutestofthecute

Girls hit your hallelujah

GIRLS HIT YOUR HALLELUJAH

re-actr

CAUSE CUTE SMALL DOGS GON GIVE IT TO YA

insta-gramcracker

puptown funk

tinierpurplefishes

Stop.

Wait a minute.

Here’s my bowl:

Put some kibble in it

killachainz-deactivated20121102

kanye sleeping.

shhhh

Kanye Rest

in his Kanye Nest

when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best

riverdoge

This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.

ahs-foodie

did you just

riverdoge

THIS POST WILL FOREVER HAUNT ME

nanavaltiel-blog

Omfg

lepipehd

iberatherboredtoday

Current mood, post Chinese food and smoking on my morning off

I could never place why you were so familiar but then I went on Dims for the first time in like 2 years and I realized you were analikesyourface! So in that case, hi!

.. Who is this? Haha

I had a question relating to your other blog, but that blog doesn't have an ask box, so can I ask here?

Um snapchat me. iberatherbored is the sn

big-tits-and-bong-hits-blog

iberatherboredtoday

Oh my god did you get this at family Dollar because I have the same one and did the same thing fuuuuck I thought I was original

big-tits-and-bong-hits-blog

iberatherboredtoday

One hit, two hit, three hit

Hahahaha thanks anna, and I'd totally have you come by and smoke you up but I'm babysitting today!

:( I just got this lol. I have tuesdays and Wednesdays free.

creature-i-dont-know-blog

21 People On What They Would Tell Their 19-Year-Old Selves

greek-aquarius-blog

Jonathan, 55: There is no such thing as “the only one”. You will meet lots of “the ones”. Only commit when the timing is right for the both of you – that can take years for some, and that’s okay. Miranda, 24: Drop pre-med. Isaac, 48: Deodorant does not count as a shower, and that haircut only looked good on Bon Jovi. Anya, 42: Make the conscious decision to be happy, and then stick with it. Society will do everything in its power to convince you that your personal happiness is dependent on something external – beauty, success, wealth, etc. – it isn’t. Parker, 55: 60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50. The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it. Megan, 34: He doesn’t love you, and you will be okay. Peter, 58: Don’t let anything stand in your way of taking part (or all) of your junior year abroad. You’ll never again have quite the same opportunity to experience a foreign land, for an extended period of time, in your youth. It is destined to be one of the most memorable aspects of your life. Eleanor, 67: Talk less. Listen more. Donald, 27: There’s a huge difference between who you want to be and who everyone around you wants you to be. Figure out which is which. Camille, 56: Always remember: when falling off a horse, pull your tongue in. Jackson, 57: No one knows anything for sure. They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you. Vicki, 47: You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count. Donald, 38: You don’t have to grow up to be the dad you never had. Katelyn, 30: Make the most out of college. You will never again be at a place where your only goal is to learn. Learn a lot, learn often, and learn with reckless abandon. Joshua, 55: Women love to laugh. Annabelle, 38: Drugs are not beautiful, glamorous or opulent. They are not a remedy, a solution, a cure-all, or a cure-anything. Colin, 50: You miss so much life when you sleep until 3 PM. Wake up to see sunrises; they are the most stunning of nature’s masterpieces. Eleanor, 26: Eating two pints of ice cream won’t make you happy. Neither will sprinting 10 miles. Be nice to yourself. Aaron, 52: Don’t forget to ask that girl in the Oberlin library what kind of perfume she’s wearing. You’ll buy it for her in 20 years. Scarlett, 54: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Those that get you will love you, those that don’t, well, their loss. Just remember: Wherever you are, it’s a party. Zack, 9: I hope you’re awesome. And be nice to girls.

iberatherboredtoday

Me 20: It's going to be okay, and don't go to that creepy guys house. Nobody sane asks you to come to their apartment in another state after meeting you on the internet. Go in public. Read a book. Don't get laid, you got better shit to focus on. Like pizza.

laurendestefano-deactivated2017

100-200 years ago, people ate organic unprocessed food and didn’t have vaccines and lived to the ripe old age of died in childbirth

iberatherboredtoday

You looked at me in disgrace and told me that because my body happens to contain more than YOUR ideal amount of adipose tissue, that I’ll never know what it means to be young, wild, beautiful, and free. That I wouldn’t be able to live my youth to the fullest.

I cried that night. A lot.

...

iberatherboredtoday

tattoolost-deactivated20150610

rhamphotheca

Help Our Turtle Friends!!!

sassenach-kiss

NO NO NO NO

WRONG

SO VERY WRONG

LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG

IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND

SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING

IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.

IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.

IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.

PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.

-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.

-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.

-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.

-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.

-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.

-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.

-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.

-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.

WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.

ninjanaomi

it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.