I can't let myself be hurt like this again.

she's so perfect but she will never be mine...

[icanthandleanotherheartbreak]

hi. I post dumb shit about love. Follow me. Or don’t, idc.

If you knew me as silverfoxboy, no you didn’t. You don’t know shit about who I was.

[slavery]

[macbethz]

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

[seananmcguire]

BURN BAGEL BURN

[gothiccharmschool]

OH WHY NOT?

[harukami]

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

[acabosetotal]

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

[token-white-friend]

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

[noodle-dragon]

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

[tentacles-and-coffee]

Let’s see what you can do bagel

[duck-from-hell-offical]

well I can’t say no to the holy burning bagel.

[gabrielultrakill-official]

I’m dubious of this bagel.

[bacone-official]

im gonna trust this bagel

[rest4rt-y0ur-d3vice]

do not let me down o holy bagel afire

[poster-offical]

Bagel

[icanthandleanotherheartbreak]

Bagel don’t fail me now!

[the-muppet-joker]

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[icanthandleanotherheartbreak]

There is an infinite number of universes out there.

(sad stuff under cut)

there is an infinite amount of universes where I got to live out my dreams of marrying my first crush. There are so many universe where she got to take my name, where we got to live a full life together and grow old together and die together. There is also an infinite number of universes where I never get to see her again, where she leaves me on delivered until I either move in or fucking kill myself out of the agony she caused me.

the fact that I am in one of those cruel worlds where she had to abandon me, make me cut things off, and make me feel like the one who fucked up, is tearing me apart. She was all I cared about. She was my EVERYTHING. Not a single goddamn day went by where I didn’t wake up not thinking about her. She was my last reason to keep living. She was there when I had no one else, when I was at my lowest, she was there to pull me back up. Now I don’t have her. I have no one that I can trust like that.

I have to force myself to even think I love someone the slightest bit. I write all these handwritten notes, I’m kind, I try to be funny, I wanna make people happy when they’re around me. I wanna be the homie who makes the whole group laugh just by existing but that’s not who I am. I’m the fucking runt of the litter, I don’t fit in because I’m too different from everyone else so that must mean I’m incompatible with the whole damn planet.

why the fuck did it have to be her??? Why couldn’t it have been anyone else? Why the fuck can’t I find someone else who cared like she did? No one else made me feel alive like she did. No one else made me happy like she did. And I was fucking there, when she lost her first love. But did she ever thank me? Did she even care?

‘because I fucked cared. Not a single atom in my body held any nanoangstrom of doubt that I loved her. I devoted every part of my existence to her and her alone, and what did she do with it? She fucking stole it away from me. Left me with nothing.

Why is the world so cruel? I’ve suffered enough, so please Dear God, let me be happy for once! Let me feel true joy and devotion without it being a setup for more agony! I’m so fucking tired of it all, I just want to fucking slit my throat open and bleed out on the banks of a river, surrounded by trees and forest, just off the interstate so they find my body.

[icanthandleanotherheartbreak]

Hi to my like 7 followers sorry I haven’t been posting

my depression has been getting worse and worse to the point I have literal aches and pains in my body. Like it’s bad. Also my two favorite Roblox games have been cancelled bc the fuckass creators can’t be good humans so that also made me spiral really bad.

Tw for lots of depressing shit and some bad ideation below the cut

it’s been so fucking bad lately. I can hardly even eat or drink anything now because I get this stabbing fucking pain below my chest. The other day I could barely do anything in school because my fucking joints hurt and nothing helped.

I’ve had multiple days where I just sit in my basement and bawl my fucking eyes out because I don’t want to make my parents explain to my little brother why I fucking killed myself. But at the same time my fucking life feels like it’s falling apart because I barely want to play guitar or make music anymore even though I’m the fucking music guy. My fucking social life at school hasn’t been much better because I can’t fucking trust anyone there with anything because all of my close friends from middle school fucking ditched me and left me alone. And I fucking try so hard to make everyone happy, so someone will like me and love me but no one seems to want me. And I’m too fucking scared of rejection to want to tell anyone I might like them but it doesn’t matter because I have to convince myself I want to love them because my fucking ex ruined me.

and I just got told I have psoriasis and there’s a chance it could give me arthritis when I’m older so that’s just another fucking reason to kms because if my goddamn hands don’t work than how can I play guitar? And I’ve been so fucking tired lately I barely even want to play video games like what the fuck is wrong with me I thought it was getting better.

I fucking swear I can’t take it anymore I fucking can’t. I don’t wanna fight anymore. I’ve been like this since I was 11 why can’t I be fucking happy and normal and not autistic? I can’t fucking stand not being able to understand what people mean because they say one thing and mean another and it fucking pisses me off JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND DONT FUCK WITH IT JESUS CHRIST.

[beanwasheremanidk]

[yet-another-mentalyill-teen]

Sisyphus cannot be happy, and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.

[invertedrat]

[beanwasheremanidk]

[the-k1lling-moon-deactivated202]

[hannahinspace]

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[thehopefulquotes]

“Don’t you dare fucking touch my heart unless you plan to stay.”

— Unknown

[waxedthoughts]

Even when it’s all over, I still look at you

[icanthandleanotherheartbreak]

what I’m gonna hallucinate as I bl33d out in the field next to my house after taking enough k3tamine to kill a horse

[remanence-of-love]