candy coated

Erin Yoo. 20. Trainee. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

[idxjia-blog]

Into the New World

[iderinyoo-blog]

idxjia‌:

“Want me to help you practice? It might help calm your nerves if we do a little one on one while everyone is taking a break,” she said. “Less people watching.”

“That would be fantastic,” Erin said, with a sigh of relief. She wasn’t normally camera shy, or really any type of shy. Erin was born for the stage. That was something she felt in her bones from her first performance in a local play. But this was one part she couldn’t get into, and that felt wrong to display so publicly.

It wasn’t that she was afraid to look a fool. Some of her best roles had involved making a complete ass of herself on stage. The problem was that she knew she wasn’t doing a good job. At least, not up to her own standards. It didn’t feel right to give any audience, even one made up of mostly staff members and fellow trainees, such a sub-par performance. Erin prided herself on being able to make people smile and her dancing clearly wasn’t doing that. She could and would do better. Even if it meant devoting every spare moment before the show went live to practice. 

“For the record,” Erin said as she walked back to the now-empty stage area. It was the only place wide open enough for decent dance practice. Everywhere else was crowded with masses of people. From idols, to trainees, to staff, it seemed that every inch of the building was filled to the brim. In her time at Singularity, Erin had never seen so much work going on at once. “I have an in with Mickey. At least Korean Mickey. I’m in his club, you know.”

Erin gave a dramatic hair flip and spoke with an unreasonable amount of smug tone in her voice. She aimed to make Jia laugh. Something to break the tension. Something to take away from her complete failure. Give her some positive attention before she screwed up the choreo again with her stiff, unnatural movements. Then, she stopped in her tracks, a revolutionary thought having just hit her. “...dude. That means, like... I technically work for Disney, doesn’t it?”

Laughter burst from her lips at the thought. The gig was new and she really hadn’t considered it before. She was a Disney star. A low rent one, for sure, but she was on a goddamn Disney show. Disney was really out there promoting her gay self. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious.”

[idhojun-blog]

you are the music in me

[iderinyoo-blog]

idhojun‌:

He found a random street corner with decent traffic. He had a boom box, which was old school, but his mother had hardly cared about keeping with the latest technology while he was growing up. His current phone would hardly project well enough either. He bared his teeth at Erin in a pained smile. Money. It was about the money and the practice and the exposure and not about Erin blatantly checking out his ass. “How about we do it here?” He cleared his throat. “Busk, I mean.”

Erin’s grin was a mile wide. The thought of spending all day with Hojun had her downright giddy. Truth be told, Hojun wasn’t her usual type. Well, in some ways, he was. He was soft and beautiful and delicate. Everything Erin generally went for. The main difference was that Hojun was a man while Erin tended to gravitate toward feminine identifying people. 

When she was younger, Erin struggled with it. All of her friends gushed over their older brother’s friends and One Direction members. Erin looked at them and felt, well, not nothing but certainly nothing compared to the strong feelings she developed towards pretty and sweet girls. By the time she was in high school, Erin had come to terms with her sexuality, even if she didn’t quite feel brave enough to advertise it yet. It was fortunate, then, that she went to an all-girls school. The number of girls who liked girls eventually gave Erin the confidence to come out to her friends. Getting caught making out with Tessa Russell in her bedroom by her brother accelerated the process of coming out to her family, but it would’ve happened eventually. Erin wasn’t ashamed of who she was. Even now, in Korea, Erin didn’t feel like she should have to hide her attraction to girls. There was one big thing keeping Erin from broadcasting her preferences: her dream of becoming an idol. 

Erin had always known that Korea was more conservative than her well-to-do Los Angeles suburb, but seeing it in practice was very different from having the general concept that her grandma didn’t like it when she brought home girlfriends for for family celebrations. Erin went from being out to firmly, if begrudgingly, back in the closet. The truth of who she was could ruin the career she hadn’t even had the chance to start yet. In the back of her mind, Erin had the idea that she’d be able to fully come out once she was established. Whether that was realistic or not, didn’t really matter. It kept her satisfied for the moment. And, anyway, she’d found a nice, safe infatuation in Hojun. Plus, she’d always wondered what it would be like to be with a guy. 

“Seems like a good spot!” Erin said brightly. “Not that I have anything to compare it to. I’ve never done this before. But, like, how hard can it be?”

Erin placed an upturned hat on the ground near them. She turned back to Hojun. Her eyes glittered with excitement. “What are we singing first?”

[iderinyoo-blog]

in her element

Trainee Lottery 02 (+5 skill, +5 experience)

It was just a small part. A little cameo in a drama, not a lot of lines, only one scene. Made for twitter users to comment on, not an impressive addition to a resume. It wasn’t exactly the lead in a Broadway play. Erin’s enthusiasm going into the audition might’ve fooled someone, though. She smiled brightly as she waited. Made small talk with other young actors there to audition for the bit part, all of whom seemed to wish she’d just stop talking but were too polite to blatantly ask her to. 

Erin couldn’t help it. She was a talker on a normal day, but she was downright giddy. Acting was her thing. The one thing she’d been passionate about since she was a kid. Even more than soccer, more than being a trainee, Erin connected with acting. She felt at home on the stage, in front of the camera. Erin lived for the attention, was born to entertain. Like Tinkerbell and Rachel Berry, Erin Yoo needed applause to survive. Maybe it was the fact that being outrageous was the only way she got any notice from her parents or her brothers growing up that had conditioned her to be like that. It hardly mattered. Erin’s desire for the spotlight was now set in stone, embedded in her very being. So deep was it that even such a small part on some drama she didn’t even remember the name of had her grinning like a fool. 

She didn’t intend on only doing cameos for the rest of her career, of course. No, this was just a stepping stone. A foot in the door. Just like Mickey’s Clubhouse, it was a way for Koala.T to introduce her to the Korean public, build up a fan base before her eventual debut. Erin saw starring roles and movie castings in her future. She always had. But if little cameos were all she could manage right now, she’d take it. Erin would take any chance to be in front of the camera. If she could make one person smile, one person feel something, even with such a small part, that was more than enough for her.

Soon, (but not soon enough for the other auditioning actors), it was Erin’s turn to audition. She practically skipped into the room with the assistant set to get her. She reminded herself to bow before introducing herself with her usual enthusiasm. The casting director seemed slightly taken aback by her demeanor, but Erin didn’t mind. At the very least, she’d make an impression. Erin was never the kind of person people just forgot. She wormed her way into people’s minds and hearts with ever-present smiles and contagious joy. Even if she didn’t get this part (and Erin was quite determined to get it,) the casting director would remember her. Next time he needed a bundle of energy, Erin would be the first person to come to his mind. 

“Ah, thank you Ms. Yoo,” the casting director said as he signaled someone to hand her a small script. “Could you please read the highlighted lines for us?”

[iderinyoo-blog]

running with the boys

[iderinyoo-blog]

idminsoo‌:

seniors were supposed to help their hoobaes after all, especially if the senior had an image like ha minsoo.  

The temptation to pump her first in the air was nearly irresistible. Nearly. Erin managed to real herself back in just in time. It was a running theme with her. Just barely avoiding going over the edge of acceptability. But it was better than how she was before, how she was back home: flying off that precipice with a running leap. As unbelievable as it seemed, her time in Korea had gifted Erin a great deal of restraint. Even she could learn after too many bad experiences.

“I have a practice room booked!” Erin said. She was grinning ear-to-ear. Having two perpetually busy and much older brothers taught Erin to be prepared. 

As a child, she constantly begged for their affection and attention and she damn well better have been ready whenever they deigned to give it to her. Those times were few and far between but Erin learned to make the most of them. This was no different. She had a practice room booked, her two songs queued up and a notebook filled with notes and thoughts about how to stage her performance. People always thought of her as happy-go-lucky and always goofing off. That wasn’t true. Erin knew how to buckle down and work hard. She wouldn’t have lasted so long in a foreign country, where she barely spoke the language if she didn’t. Erin Yoo was more than just a bubbly personality with a permanent smile. 

But, that wasn’t really what Koala.T wanted to see out of her. Yes, they wanted, needed her hard work, but Erin was savvy enough to know that it was her personal energy and effervescence that landed her a trainee spot at the company. The two songs she’d chosen reflected that. 

Erin began to walk toward the room she reserved, intent on leading Minsoo there as quickly as possible. Her short legs took strides as long and quick as they could manage. She didn’t have any spare time to waste. 

“Okay, so, I was thinking either ‘Just Right’ or ‘Shine’, right?” She said as she walked, only once or twice looking back at Minsoo to make sure he was still in earshot. “Because they’re bright and happy and I’m bright and happy. Totally perfect, right? Anyway, I can’t pick between the two of them and I was just wondering how you felt about the songs. Like, which one do you think is more....”

Erin paused, just as she reached the practice room door. She couldn’t think of the word she needed. Damn her limited vocabulary.

[iderinyoo-blog]

running with the boys

@idminsoo, koala.t building

Erin bounded through the Koala.T building, popping into every practice or meeting room she could find. Her presence was rarely appreciated, but she didn’t mind. She was on a mission; nothing was going to get in her way. She was going to find a Nitro member. She wasn’t particularly picky about which member — any of them would do, really. She just needed to find one. She narrowed her choices for the showcase down to two songs, both Nitro songs. If she could just talk to a member or two, she could get some insight into the songs and decide which one was best for her. 

Truth be told, Erin hadn’t been particularly familiar with Nitro’s music before she came to Koala.T. Sure, she’d hear their songs on the radio, sometimes, or see them on awards shows when she would do backup dancing for HER.oine, but they mostly flew under her radar. Most boy groups did, to be honest. But Erin had scoured Nightmare’s discography for something she could work with for the showcase and came up empty handed. It was all too dark to speak to who she was, or even what kind of artist she wanted to be. So, she turned to Nitro and XLNC. 

XLNC’s music was good, but again, not very Erin. It felt like a blessing from the heavens when she found, not one, but two Nitro songs that felt like the kind of music she’d want to put out. Just Right and Shine were both upbeat, happy and goddamn infectious. They practically screamed “this song was meant for Erin Yoo”. All she needed now was a little bit of advice on what to choose, along with some guidance on how to stage the first part and she was set. Erin knew she was on the verge of having this showcase thing in the bag. She wasn’t going to stop until she got what she needed.

Finally, Erin caught sight of a Nitro member: Ha Minsoo. True, she’d never actually spoken to him before, but that wasn’t an obstacle for Erin. She could make friends with a sack of flower. And seniors were supposed to be helpful, weren’t they? 

“Minsoo-sunbaenim!” Erin called out. She only remembered the polite title the moment before she opened her lips. She was glad she did. Erin learned from experience that not using the right honorific was not the way to get on someone’s good side. “Hi! Sorry! I’m Erin!” She extended her hand as she came closer to him. “I’m a trainee and I was wondering if you could help me out with my showcase performance.”

[idxjia-blog]

Into the New World

[iderinyoo-blog]

idxjia‌:

She pulled out the bear from behind her back, shooting her a rare smile. She even made the bear do a little dance. “See? He thinks we are going to both do great. Just don’t overthink it.” It was strange advice for her to be giving considering she overthought literally everything. Really, her favorite part of acting had been the line memorization, which was probably not something she should ever admit to an actual person.

Erin giggled. “I can’t believe you brought that here.” Jia was... interesting. Different. Good different, but still different. Erin liked her. She’d been kind, so kind to her since she joined Koala.T. She felt lost coming there after losing her Singularity family. It was comforting to know that she might find something similar at Koala.T. She had Jia to thank for that knowledge.

It helped, Erin thought, that they were both foreigners, expats. Just a little out of place in the utterly homogeneous Korea. Erin might have been ethnically Korean but no one would ever confuse her for anything other than an American the moment she opened her mouth. It helped to have another American, another Angeleno, who shared in that experience. Someone she could talk to about home. Someone who knew what it felt like to be a fish out of water. 

Erin definitely felt out of her element rehearsing for Nightmare’s performances. She practiced so hard. The movements still felt unnatural, forced. She couldn’t find her groove, her place, herself in the music. Erin just didn’t connect with it. Fly High was just too much at odds with her optimistic outlook on life. It was too harsh, too dark. Perfect for Jia, not so much for Erin. She never had this problem backup dancing for HER.oine. 

“Well,” Erin said, leaning down until she was eye level with the stuffed animal. “Thank you very much, Frankenbear, but I think you might be a little biased.”

She straightened up and looked a Jia. Erin wore a grateful smile. “It’s just not my style, you know? I mean, I’ll be fine. Like, I know I’ll be alright. It’s gonna look okay and no one’s gonna care about a stiff backup dancer but....it doesn’t feel like me. Which is weird because, like, acting is my thing, you know? I guess I just feel like I should be able to do this no problem.”

Erin shrugged as she looked out toward the stage. She wasn’t looking at anything in particular. Not that she would’ve minded if some magical answer to all her problems appeared in front of her. But even the whimsical Erin knew it wouldn’t. She just needed to suck it up and deal with it. Erin let out a soft sigh before turning to Jia again. She smiled at her friend. “Thanks for listening.”

[okmyejin]

✎ … 181228 TWICE’s Dahyun  & BTS’ Jin @ 2018 KBS Gayo Daechukje Red Carpet

[iderinyoo-blog]

call me, beep me

@idtaekyoon, SBS studios

To say that Erin was bored would be an understatement. A massive one. She was bored at 8:30, after all the Koala.T trainees had settled in and the wait began for their turn to rehearse. That was four hours ago. The trainees were under strict instruction to not leave their assigned area and, for once in her life, Erin couldn’t convince anybody to break ranks with her. What good was an adventure if she was going on it alone? It wasn’t like the trainees had been provided with any sort of entertainment. They were set pieces, props, more than anything. Little care was given to how they felt. This was just another sacrifice on the road to becoming an idol; everyone understood that. Even Erin. Still, when the time to eat lunch rolled around, she was the first one out the door. She was happy to get the chance to stretch her legs, maybe shake off some of her cabin fever. 

The SBS cafeteria looked like any other cafeteria. The only differences between it and the cafeteria at a local office building were the idols that scattered about, filling tables and buying food. Erin had only been to the SBS studios a few times before, to backup dance for Nightmare as she was for the Gayo Daejun. For her, the place still held a sense of novelty. Erin smiled as she and the rest of the Koala.T trainees made their way through. She did a fair bit of gawking, too. All of the trainees seemed energized just to be around new, different idols from competing companies. Erin was no exception.

The trainees filed out a couple of tables and their manager — babysitter, really — went to go collect the food. Immediately, the gossiping began.

“Ahh, are those the boys from 1nferno?” one trainee asked in an excited whisper. “They’re even cuter in person!”

“I heard that one of them is dating another idol,” another said, knowingly. This was met with hushed demands that she say who. Erin was more than happy to join in, telling stories from her time at Singularity to her new Koala.T friends. Soon enough, the food arrived. 

“The famous Inkigayo sandwich! Oh, I hope there’s something in mine!” Erin’s neighbor exclaimed. Erin looked at her blankly. “You don’t know?! They say that idols exchange numbers using the sandwiches.

“Wouldn’t they just eat the number by accident?” Erin asked, only half joking. She could definitely see herself munching through a piece of paper mixed in with all the strange ingredients. But now, she was curious. Everyone began eating, carefully unwrapping their sandwiches to search for a phone number secreted away inside. No one found anything. Except for Erin, that was. 

“No way.”

Tucked inside the plastic wrap was a small slip of paper. There was a phone number on it. A phone number. The girl next to Erin squealed when she saw it. “You have to text them!”

Erin didn’t need telling twice. She typed the numbers into her phone, quickly creating a new contact. Without pausing for a moment to really think about what she was doing, Erin fired off a series of messages.

[sms; sandwich person] hey

[sms; sandwich person] hey hey hey

[sms; sandwich person] heyyyyyyyyy [image attachment] 

[sms; sandwich person] ❤️❤️❤️

[iderinyoo-blog]

lost and found

[iderinyoo-blog]

idzhu‌:

“hey,” he greeted quickly, a bright smile on his face, “you trying to get somewhere? need some directions? you’re new here, right? i’m  sunjae, nice to meet you and welcome to msg.”  maybe it was a bit much for her take in all at once, but when sunjae started talked it was hard to get him to stop and all his words tended to come out a mile a minute.

Understanding rapid fire Korean wasn’t a skill Erin had managed to pick up during her first three years in Korea. She’d get there eventually, she knew it, but Erin was most definitely not there yet. And so, what was there for her to do but what she always did in a situation like this: nod and smile. This tactic had gotten her pretty far at Singularity. Maybe not so much at school, but at Singularity, Erin could always whisper desperately to a friend, “help me,” the second a coach or manager or whoever was talking to her turned her back. Erin had hoped she’d make enough friends to continue the same practice at MSG but, well, she hadn’t. Not in time at least. She was lost, alone with a stranger and completely out of her depth. Erin kept nodding and smiling.

After a moment, Erin’s smile fell away and her lips formed a small ‘o’ shape. Her brain had finnaly managed to process some of what Sunjae said. (Better late than never, right?) “Oh. Oh! Hi! I’m Erin and I am very, very lost. You said something about directions? Like, I’m pretty sure that’s the word for directions but, not completely. Like, halfway, you know? Sorry, my Korean’s not super great right now. I’m working on it, though!”

Erin smiled brightly at Sunjae. That was his name, wasn’t it? He seemed nice. Maybe not everyone at MSG was super strict and just a little bit mean. She was grateful for the opportunity they gave her, really she was, but it was just so... Everything had to be a certain way, people were less willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. It probably wasn’t a fair assessment but Erin couldn’t help it. Especially not when she compared them to the close-knit family she’d built at Singularity. Erin. shook her head. She was getting distracted. She had a problem with that. It was most likely why she kept getting lost in the labyrinth that was the MSG building. When she spoke again, she was back on topic. 

“I’m a trainee. Like, brand new. So new, I don’t have any brownie points with anybody yet. I really, really need to get to my dance practice. I’m going to being late and I’m pretty sure my teacher is going to kill me if I am. Please, please, please tell me you can help me get to the right practice room! I will owe you for life.”

[iderinyoo-blog]

lost and found

@idzhu 

msg building, late December 2018

There were days when Erin wondered if the “M” in MSG stood for “maze”. Days when she spent minutes, hours even wandering hallways, going up and down stairs, checking and rechecking signs before she could make it to her destination. This was one of those days.

Admittedly, navigation was never on her list of skills, but still. It wasn’t like this at Singularity. Maybe it was because the company was smaller and she knew everyone. Maybe it was because the actual, physical building was smaller. Fewer places for her to get lost. Erin knew the Singularity building like the back of her hand. She could get to her usual practice room blindfolded. There were a lot—a lot—of reasons Erin missed things at Singularity, but as she stood, lost in the middle of a hallway at the MSG building, ease of navigation made its way to the top of her list.

Erin chewed on her lip as she walked aimlessly past a series of closed doors. None of them looked like practice rooms. She let out a quiet whine. Oh, she was so dead. in the ground, already buried dead. She didn’t have to check the time on her phone to know that she was going to be beyond late to her dance practice if she didn’t figure out how to get there soon. She’d already gotten in trouble twice this month for being late. Did MSG have a three strike policy for tardies? Erin didn’t want to find out. God, how embarrassing would that be? She’d die if she had to go crawling back home and tell her parents she got kicked out for not showing up to practice on time. It wasn’t even that she let herself get distracted, which was her usual problem. Erin just could never remember how to get to the stupid practice room. Somehow, Erin got the feeling that excuses didn’t count for much at MSG.

Without realizing it, Erin had walked herself into a dead end. She huffed and kicked the wall. Erin then realized, belatedly, how bad that must’ve looked. She threw a few furtive glances around, saw no one and breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t let this get to her. It wasn’t like her to get so worked up. It certainly wasn’t like her to feel so defeated. Erin would keep looking. She’d get to practice even if it killed her.

Erin turned around and started back the way she came. She could have sworn the room was on this floor. Or was it the next one up? A flight of stairs caught her eye. Had that been there before? It didn’t matter. Going up a level seemed like just as good a plan as any.

[iderinyoo-blog]

❄️ (accidental on hojun's end, I can't speak for erin)

Send me ❄️for my muse’s response to being underneath mistletoe with your muse.   Specify whether it’s accidental or on purpose.

She didn’t plan this. Erin would swear up and down that she didn’t plan it. How was it her fault that someone decided to decorate the set of Mickey’s Clubhouse with actual, honest-to-God, mistletoe? That was in no way her fault. All she was supposed to do was show up, look peppy and do whatever the director told her to. And so maybe, she might have noticed Hojun standing under a sprig. And maybe she made her way over to that side of the set—she was planning on getting a snack from craft services, honest—and maybe she just so happened to bump into him and call attention to the small plant above. It was a coincidence. Kismet. 

“I, uh, I don’t know the word for it in Korean,” Erin said with a cheeky smile, “but back home, we have to kiss when we’re underneath this kind of plant.”

Erin learned forward, closed her eyes and waited, expectantly.

[iderinyoo-blog]

🎵

Send me 🎵 to find out what song my muse wants to cover for Christmas.

Three words: Jingle Bell Rock.

Erin, like any respectable Gen Z-er, grew up on Mean Girls. From ages 11 to 14, she spoke almost exclusively in quotes from the movie. If Erin could cover any song, do any stage, with no judgement from her new MSG overseers, it would be Jing Bell Rock. She’d go all out with a thank u, next-style homage to the original scene. Of course, there’s no use being Regina George if you don’t have the rest of the plastics there with you. In this dream scenario of hers, Erin would be performing with some of her closest friends from Singularity. 

[iderinyoo-blog]

🎄

Send me 🎄 to know how/if my muse has decorated for Christmas this year.

Uh, hell yes! Erin grew up in the states and had traditional American Christmases. If she couldn’t go home for the holidays (her parents offers to buy her a one way ticket back did not count,) she could bring some of home to Seoul. This year, Erin dubbed herself “Erin the Elf” and wore an obnoxious Christmas hat with elf ears. She had Elf and Home Alone playing on loop in the background as she set up and decorated a way too big for the room it was in Christmas tree. There was most definitely hot cocoa involved and about half of the candy canes never made it to the tree. 

[idolizerp]

ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS IDOLIZE GAVE TO ME …

a mini-meme with a holiday theme!

To participate, please reblog this post! Memes do not count for activity and have no strict writing requirements, though we of course encourage you to put forth thought and consideration. Memes should be sent to as many people as possible so that all may participate, even those who reblog later in the “lifespan” of the meme! For every three asks answered, one may redeem 5 points of exp and 5 points of sp. This will cap out at 10 sp earned (so you can redeem points for up to 6 meme answers, to avoid clogging the dash with this specific day of Christmas, though you’re welcome to answer additional asks for no points). These must, as with the others, be completed by midnight of 01/05.

Keep reading

[iderinyoo-blog]

hellooooooo, it’s me anna, mother to mijung and danny here to show my complete lack of self control and introduce you to my newest child: erin. just a lil reminder that my discord is  annamorgause#4485. hit me up on discord or on here for plotting! here’s a bit about erin; you can read more in her bio, her profile or check out my wanted connections for her.

lil mini bio

born and raised in the la area

never even went to korea until she was 17

she was there like two weeks and got scouted lol

convinced her family to let her stay and be a trainee

for singularity

are you seeing the problem here? we’ll come back to that

she stayed

but rlly struggled to get used to korea

especially school

she did gr8 as a trainee tho

you know until singularity collapsed

her parents want her to come back to the states and go to college

but this stubborn child auditioned for msg and everyone else instead

so now she’s with msg

and just like trying to figure stuff out

again

erin’s personality

hyper af

very positive and cheerful

c o n s t a n t l y  making jokes/pulling pranks

mostly dumb ones

she has no shame

at all

she works really hard tho

can’t stand not doing something

relaxing??? what’s that?????

still isn’t used to some things in korea tbh

and her language skills are ehhh

but she’s gonna make this work

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON FIX8′S LEAD DANCE, LEAD VOCAL ERIN YOO…

Keep reading

[jihyosbean]

Dahyun being adorable / for @dahyunsmile