alexander hamilton: HELLO YES HI THIS MUSICAL IS ALL ABOUT ME I AM THE STAR I AM WONDERFUL LOOK AT ALL THE COOL STUFF I DID WOW GO ME
aaron burr, sir: you’re an orphan? nice lets go mURDER THE GOVERNMENT (ft. drunk squad™)
my shot: im PAst patiently waitin im PASSionately SMAshin every expecTATion every ACTion’s an ACT of crEATion
the story of tonight: more drunk cuties
the schuyler sisters: FEMINISM GIRL POWER F U C K THE PATRIARCHY (ft. peggy bein a lil bitch)
farmer refuted: Sassy Ham™ (ft. dONT MODULATE THE KEY THEN NOT DEBATE WITH M E)
you’ll be back: king george iii is a psycho
right hand man: I HAVE THREE FRIENDS PICK ME
a winter’s ball: salty + creepy burr (ft. LAAAAaaaAaAaaaADIES)
helpless: ELIZA IS A PRECIOUS PURE CINNAMON ROLL D O N ’ T T O U C H H E R
satisfied: did somebody say bitter (ft. goosebumps)
the story of tonight (reprise): drunk and gay (reprise)
wait for it: burr has secrets™
stay alive: FUCK OFF CHARLES LEE
ten duel commandments: oKAY so we’re doing this
meet me inside: ham fucks up™
that would be enough: THE CINNAMON ROLL IS BACK AND SHE’S PREGNANT HAM COULD U N O T
guns and ships: lAFAYETTE
history has its eyes on you: gwash has Feelings™
yorktown (the world turned upside down): that one line @ trump tbh, HERCULES MULLIGAN
what comes next: oh no king george is just hella salty
dear theodosia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
non-stop: HISTORY HAS ITSwhy do you assume you’re the smartest in the room why do you assume you’re the smartest in theNON-STOPhe will never be satisfiedISN’T THIS ENOUGHsatisfiedWHAT WOULD BE ENOUGH
what’d i miss: tjeffs is back from being a hoe in paris and he’s getting down to Business™ 😎
cabinet battle #1: FUCKN FIGHT ME ILL TAKE ANYONE — alexander hamilton, probably
take a break: spoiler! he doesn’t take a break (ft. UN DEUX TROIS QUATRE CINQQQQQQQQ)
say no to this: oh jesus what is that two letter word starting with n, ending with o, it has escaped my vocabulary completely
the room where it happens: so apparently aaron burr is Salt Personified™
schuyler defeated: bros don’t take other bros’ father in law’s senate seat wtf
cabinet battle #2: if u tie ur hair into a ponytail, u are a completely different person: confirmed
washington on your side: salty burr, jeffersalt, madisalt: the salthern motherfucking democratic republicans™
one last time: washington’s gone, thanks a lot jefferson
i know him: no it turns out that king george iii is actually a fCKN PSYCHOPATH
the adams admininistration: Great Googly Moogly, It’s All Gone To Shit™ (ft. sIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER)
we know: so burr’s shady as fuck
hurricane: hoe don’t do it (spoiler! he does it)
the reynolds pamphlet: how to fuck up your own life for no good reason — by alexander hamilton
burn: CINNAMON ROLL IS UPSET AND IT BREA K S Y O U
blow us all away: HE DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY ??¿ (ft. philip organising a threesome)
stay alive (reprise): count to ten in french after this without crying, i dare you
it’s quiet uptown: YOU KILLED YOUR S O N WHAT THE FUCK ALEXANDER CHILL
the election of 1800: alex likes causing drama. what a surprise(!)
your obedient servant: i have never talked shit about you. BUT IF I EVER DID here is a list of everything i said about you and when, it’s 30 years long, take your pick (ft. S A L T )
best of wives and best of women: he doesn’t go back to sleep
the world was wide enough: you done fucked up a-a-ron
who lives, who dies, who tells your story: eliza schuyler hamilton is an angelic cinnamon roll and the world does not deserve her, she singlehandedly made sure her idiot husband made history and she deserves more credit than she is given honestly (ft. your ugly crying)