Shit My Customers Say

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

Else where!

This happened after customer gave the wrong address. We sent the product to this address only to learn later they made a mistake. When we told them the item was out of stock but we'd be happy to send another to the correct address in 2-3 days, this was the response:

Customer: This is the worst online shopping experience I've ever had! I will not be coming back!

Us: We're sorry to hear that. Please enjoy your product!

What We Want To Say: Oh, no. You mean the pain in the ass customer that we sent a product to TWICE with no additional charge because of their mistake of putting the wrong address won't be coming back? Stop! I'm holding back tears! The pain! Please! No! Come back! We sorely want you making our lives more of a pain in the ass and losing more revenue because you can't write your own fucking address right. Please! We beg you! The loss of your $15 orders has crippled our business.

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Customer Email with picture of item: I bought this product for my daughter and the symbol on the shirt is already coming off! I want a refund and another product shipped now.

Us: Hi, according to our records you bought this product 3 months ago. It also looks like you used bleach which is stated on the tag not to use. We'd be happy to send you another though. Please make sure to follow the tag directions. Thanks and best wishes!

Customer Email: Unacceptable. She would never use bleach. I want another item sent and a refund. Right now.

Us: Hi, thanks for your inquiry. We understand you are frustrated about the product. If you could send it back to us, we'd be happy to refund you. Thank you and have a great day.

Customer Email: I will not be sending the product back. I want a refund now.

Us: Hi, we're sorry we're having such a problem finding an adequate solution. If you would just return the product, we'd be happy to refund you for it and the shipping.

The customer never replied again. The item was clearly bleached. Sorry, we don't just give you back your money 3 months later. We need to actually get the product back to determine the best course of action. Please go into Walmart and demand they give you your money back because you didn't like the item without actually returning the item. How did that work out? Not so well, huh?

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

United States to Peru in 1.5 Days

Customer files a complaint and dispute saying:

"Ordered my item 2 days ago and still hasn't arrived. Want complete refund and product."

Shop Response:  "Hi, thanks for your inquiry.  Your item is shipped but it is traveling from the top portion of the United States to Peru. This could take anywhere from a week to 2 weeks. You paid for normal shipping, which can't deliver in 2 days. Please enjoy your product when you receive it!"

Customer escalates case an hour later, saying:

"Shop owner refuses to give me my item."

And then this happens:

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

"Well, it being an item that takes 6 days to ship isn't my problem! Give me my stuff NOW!"

Well, guess what, the fact you didn't read the "out of stock until <insert date>" which was listed and brought to your attention many times (including, gasp, a pop up warning box that we know you clicked yes to understanding) isn't our problem now. Happy waiting for your product. By the way, the person that used manners and didn't threaten our staff got a free extra product when they had a complaint. Hugs and kisses!

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

"I'll report you and your shop!"

Hmm, you're going to report me because we waited for your check to clear before shipping your item? Sorry, our fault, we'll send you stuff and you can just pay us later. Thanks.

[idiotsbrigade-blog]

"Where the hell is my stuff?!" -Customer that ordered an item that clearly listed wouldn't be in stock and ready to ship for 3 days.

Well, gee, I don't know, maybe not in stock? Maybe you should read the shop announcements, shop policies, listing description and the bold red writing that says not in stock until such and such date. Oh! Or you could read the thing next to "confirm order" that says when your item will ship. Oh gosh, I forgot, or the follow up email that also says the shipping date.  Sorry, forgot American's average IQ is 98. My fault.