My Life Is Marshmallow

~beep~ Callie | 22 | Kalamazoo | f | bi ~boop~

[timetraveldean]

[idreamofdragqueens]

*screams into the void*

Any ace folk want to date me and fall in love so I can skip the terrifying prospect of trying to enter the dating world looking for other ace people 😭😭😭

[dankmemeuniversity]

[l-ile]

[vladtheunfollower]

absolute madman

[maeborowski]

self portrait

[i-am-horse-blog]

[pettyrevenge-base]

The mother-in-law bribe backfired

This is not my story.  This was told to me by a woman I knew from work several years ago; she’s a very sweet nurse.

Nurse graduated from nursing school and decided with her friend to move to one of the cities that was listed as having “the most eligible bachelors” from some publication. She moves and starts dating her future husband.

Future Husband’s mother is a viper and decides Nurse is not good enough for her family.  The  happy couple eventually get engaged and future mother-in-law is having none of it.   Tries for several months to break them up; tries to convince Nurse to go back where she came from and simultaneously tries to gently convince her precious son that Nurse may not be good for him.

To add some more context to this situation, this MIL is pretty nasty to Nurse but hides it well to other people, always making sure she’s super (fake) sweet to everyone when others are around.

Finally wedding plans are set so MIL gets desperate.  She gets Nurse alone with a “generous” offer: leave fiance and never come back in exchange for $10,000 (note: this was almost 30 years ago so I guess it was kind of a shitload of money for most).

Nurse is so sick of this woman’s shit and is incredibly insulted. However, she’s intelligent and maintains her composure.  Nurse accepts the offer.

Nurse takes the money, does not leave, and gets married anyway. Nobody else knows about this.

MIL cannot say or do anything about it without exposing herself to her family as a horrible person.

Nurse and husband are still happily married; their kids are grown; husband still has no idea this went down.

MIL has suffered silently for almost 30 years.

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

I reblog this every time I see it, because it’s a Machiavellian power move AND I LOVE IT! 

[buzzfeed]

Sometimes it’s good to talk to strangers.

[honeybee-fuzz]

I went to a Q&A seminar with Antoni and Karamo and they told us that at Queer Eye auditions Jonathan literally ran from room to room yelling “WHERE IS SHE” over and over again and while everyone assumed it was about the casting director or something it was, in fact, about a Starbucks cup he’d lost, and I need you all to know that Jonathan lives on maximum 24/7. He is a force that cannot be contained

[grimconversations]

Did you know there’s an outtake from the 2000 Grinch movie where Jim Carrey leans in real close to Jeffrey Tambor’s face and then rips off Tambor’s prosthetic nose with his teeth

[grimconversations]

[qwopflop]

God I want him to do this to my clit

[pietriarchy]

[neilcicierega]

[thesylverlining]

what happened in roughly 1870 though

why was there temporary internet

with a few people searching for pokemon?

[tacticalskirt]

It’s a search of Google books, but the question still stands, what the Fuck happened in 1870

[solongasitswords]

I CAN ANSWER THIS!!

In the Cornish dialect of English, Pokemon meant ‘clumsy’ (pure coincidence).

In the mid 1800s there was a surge of writing about the Cornish language and dialect in an attempt to preserve them with glossaries and dictionaries being written. I wrote about it HERE.

[bookshop]

I just love that this post happened to find the ONE HUMAN ON THE INTERNET who had the answer to this question

[merry-go-round-jailhouse]

[literaryreference]

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it

[edwad]

was Marx

sometimes

[emperor-ing-deactivated20191108]

watch leninists conveniently ignore that he

[writerwarlock-deactivated201904]

It’s almost 2019 and I still miss Philkas

[biblebuildx]

I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss Eyewitness I miss ……

[peachy-bunster]

Visit Original Link

[moist-astronaut]

Send help I’ve been laughing for 15 minutes the internet killed my sense of humor

[idreamofdragqueens]

#crossstitch #craft #crossstitchersofinstagram #datstitchcray https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqoh9wJBL9o/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=177l6a3ma5j0q

[idreamofdragqueens]

#crossstitch #craft #crossstitchersofinstagram #datstitchcray https://www.instagram.com/p/BqofuDMB0T3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h8n1h80ned2c