The Fault in our Sombreros

Im the only one who thinks im funny I speak English, Spanish, and Japanese Feel free to talk to me! safe blog/safe place

[animentality]

[mortalityplays]

hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years

taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult

at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)

'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65

it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age

it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.

you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.

young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!

there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cory Booker has been talking in the senate for over 20 hours now

He’s not filibustering. He’s protesting the current administration.

[what-even-is-thiss]

For those of you from outside the US or those of you who didn’t pay attention in government class, in the US senate there’s really no limit to the amount of time a senator can speak. So sometimes if they don’t want a bill to pass they just. Don’t stop talking. To hopefully get past the deadline to vote on a bill. This is called filibustering.

Senator Cory Booker isn’t doing that. He’s disrupting “the normal business of the United States Senate for as long as I am physically able”. Just in protest. This doesn’t usually happen.

[what-even-is-thiss]

He’s less than 20 minutes away from breaking the record of the longest speech given on the senate floor

[what-even-is-thiss]

Cory Booker has officially broken Strom Thurmond’s record for longest speech on the senate floor and he’s still going

[soberscientistlife]

[quonunc]

Could really use more media where wives viciously protect their husbands

[quonunc]

Also violently. I want very violently. I want her to go scorched earth. I want five scenes earlier to see her husband being diplomatic and calming down a situation so no one gets hurt because his wife is in danger. And then something happens and now he's unconscious and being threatened and his wife just absolutely levels a seven block radius with the force of her refusal to let anyone hurt him.

[findingfeather]

There is nothing better than the antagonist finding out the husband was the humane restraint on a woman who can make the Furies go “…wow, okay, that’s maybe a bit much.”

[demilypyro]

HRRNGH I LOVE SHOW DON'T TELL I LOVE UNDERSTANDING A CHARACTER'S MOTIVATIONS AND PERSONALITY THROUGH THE CHOICES THEY MAKE

[demilypyro]

Thinking about that scene in the Incredibles where Bob helps this old lady with her insurance and how you can tell from his behaviour and his interactions with his boss that he's

Very aware that he's not supposed to be doing this

More than willing to compromise his job security if it means helping people

Done this so many times that he knows all the steps and can rattle them off by heart without looking anything up

Received the same lecture from his boss just as many times

[mortalityplays]

if you spend your life bitching and complaining about the fact people are 'expected' to engage in the dreaded pointless banal '''small talk''' instead of learning to trade pleasantries with the people around you, you will never know the true and heady joy of doing a dumb bit with a complete stranger and as a result your soul will remain small

[mortalityplays]

there are random strangers out there who are just waiting to hear all the worst jokes your dad ever told you and if you don't open yourself to the delight of saying hello how's it going, och you know, living the dream as always, you will simply never find them

[daphrona]

Walked past a beloathed coworker that has been picking a fight with me vis a vis our lead as a middle man and he had tumblr open on his phone so Kevin if you're reading this I will start a war you will not win if you keep this shit up.

[daphrona]

You're allowed to reblog this to let Kevin know I'm not fucking around.

[loumandliker]

one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

[loumandliker]

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

[caltracat]

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[theforce]

i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life 

[the-hug-department]

and I

DON’T WANT

THE WORLD

to see me

Cuz I DON’T THINK that THEY’D UNDERSTAND

[mickstart]

You know what really fucking Annoys Me about internet censorship is stuff like swear words being heavily censored because that's entirely an American cultural hangup being forced on the rest of us. I don't know a single country where swearing is as taboo as it is in America. In fact most languages have swear words that would have the same effect on an American as giving a Victorian chimney sweep a pepsi max cherry.

[mickstart]

Demonitizing Irish people's videos for having swear words in them is a kind of hate crime and psychological torture I think.

[hjartasalt]

Obsessed with this energy tbh

[hjartasalt]

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[senatortedcruz]

A FOUL ABOMINATION EMERGES FROM ITS LAIR

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

[star-cocks-deactivated20181217]

THERE'S👏NOTHING👏WRONG👏WITH👏WANTING👏A👏GIANT👏WEREWOLF👏COCK👏IN👏YOUR👏ASS👏THATS👏NORMAL👏

[official-monsterfucker-posts]

Official Monsterfucker Post

[allieinarden]

I haven’t seen a Despicable Me movie since the first one so to me Gru is like someone I knew years ago whose Christmas card list I’m happy to inexplicably be on. Oh wow, I forgot he got married. What a nice thing for the girls. Oh, he and his wife had a baby! How lovely!