i cannot believe that it’s the first of halloween tomorrow

Andulka
Not today Justin
sheepfilms
Sade Olutola

shark vs the universe
h

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styofa doing anything

pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

PR's Tumblrdome
DEAR READER
Three Goblin Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON
wallacepolsom
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art blog(derogatory)
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@ifyoucantrunlearntodie
i cannot believe that it’s the first of halloween tomorrow
happy Ides of March all y’all plebeians
REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE
I love how the internet keeps up with these little dates lol
are you telling me that there isn’t a spell for wizard google
like you cast it, and whatever information you were looking for just shoots right out of your wand
because that would be awesome
harry potter au where hermione realises that she’s in a book and starts lecturing the reader on the importance of proper representation in novels
raptorific:
I can’t believe I got a political ad that actually says “deez nuts” on it
i don’t know about you but i’d vote for the sweet meteor o’ death any day
Set It Off is more than just a band.
It’s four dumb noodles goofing off and loving all the support of their fans.
he cute
Duality blue kind of days ⟠
can lizards be stopped?
short answer: no
what is the long answer?
definitely not
throwback to when I nearly blinded myself with a watermelon
That body though I want you to make my hole look like that watermelon
sometimes I think about how some of the people who think that same-sex couples ruin the sanctity of marriage are the same people who enjoy watching the bachelor, a show where 1 person dates 25 strangers and picks one of them to propose to at the end of approximately 6 weeks
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.