[mjalti]

interviewer: why do you want this job? Why should we hire you?

me at the interview: better use of our time today... why weren’t you able to retain the employee that vacated my new position

[catchymemes]

[navytaxi]

y’all talk so much about shower thoughts what about washing the dishes thoughts

[conflagreat]

the only thought I have when washing dishes is 'fuck this. I hate washing dishes'

[catasters]

[guerrillatech]

[huxnothugs]

[thepersonalquotes]

[iguessillneverlearn]

[cwunch]

♡

[paprika]

[realitytvgifs]

accurate scientific research

[stayfrostybish]

[spiderdumpling-deactivated20230]

go balls deep in my heart 

[blu-iv]

December 17th

[spintowin]

she’s out there making owl noises

[techtonicactivity]

who

[manslaughter]

burger king is offering a 1 cent whopper through their mobile app if you unlock the coupon while at a mcdonald’s

[cockyhorror]

Actually tumblr all my content is sensitive I have a lot of feelings

[bloomflowersbloom]

[bloomflowersbloom]

im screaming once I was just staring at myself for 5 minutes convincing myself that i wasnt that drunk then i threw up and was like must of been the food i ate

[reshipped]

ME LMAO