You’re looking hella fine and you know it.

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@ijbbae
You’re looking hella fine and you know it.
what have i ( you ) done. ‘jr&jb
He's tired. He feels it in his skin and it's a dull pain that's throbbing in his skull, he's exhausted. H breathes out and he wants his breath to fall steady, but his palms fall over his face and he's a sighing a little. He's not sure of why he's sitting here in front of the television's screen instead of being in his bed, safe and sound asleep. Clearly he needs sleep. But it's escaping him lately he's not sure of hwy. Insomnia is something he's been certain to have beaten but it's knocking again at his temples and his hands move to them, rubbing lightly.
But then he feels the weight beside him and it's a reminder of why he's there, sitting and not sleeping. There's movement on the screen, but there's also Jinyoung besides him, sitting there and watching what's supposed to be a movie. JB's not sure what it is about anymore. He's been coerced into this is all he knows, he should have said no, but he didn't, so he's here and it's late and he's really going to fall asleep. He's wondering if he should fight it a bit more, knows Jinyoung will either whine about how he always ends up not watching anything through but also knows that he'll maybe turn it light, joke about it, know JB's tired and just mock him for being old.
That might happen.
Whichever it is, all it manages to do is pull a soft laugh out of him while he closes his eyes, arms folding across his chest and his breath steadies. His neck cranes and JB has a mind on comfort so he drops it on the shoulder he knows is next to him, it's a light sort of comfort but it'll do. It's better than the hard touch of the couch that's going to give him the most painful muscles ache he'll ever regret having. He knows what it feels like, he's accidentally fallen asleep with his neck bent far too awkwardly on the back of the couch.
But this is good, the angle where his head finds rest on Jinyoung’s shoulder is almost too perfect and he's going to fall asleep. He knows this, because the sound of the movie is just fading into the back of his mind.
"Haven't you heard?"
He’s not sure of what she means, but he’s guessing rumors. Because if it’s something about someone else, or him, or him with someone else, or whatever it is. If he hasn’t heard and she’s asking, it probably means that it’s been out and it either concerns him or someone he knows. Rumors. They spread and from mouth to ears, never do they stop to wander the streets. He’s turning to face her then, ready for anything because he’s heard it all in the years he’s worked.
Scandals are a thing he was particularly fond of during a certain age of his. Not now though, because as his agent would say it, he’s more posed now. Less rebellious even if he still thinks his life is his and he’s allowed to make what he wants of it. JB at least acknowledges that he’s still a public figure and he’s restricted other times. “No, what’s new?”
{ ` he stops the minute jaebum brings up the girl again. he’s dragging his hands down his face with a groan because how could he ever forget that? he’d gotten far too into the choreo and tripped flat onto his face in front of her. it’s safe to say that he didn’t get his date. } Hey, she was impressed for the first bit. She was probably swooning on the inside. At least I made her laugh, people say that making a girl laugh is always key. { ` he glares at jaebum, even though he knows he’s jesting. or is he? it’s always hard to tell with him. } By fifty you won’t be dealing with me, but then I’ll be so incorporated into your life that you won’t even notice how annoyed you are. { ` he’s shooting him a bright grin before suddenly realizing his original question. } So why are we here? Are you going to kill me in here, cause this would make for a pretty epic battle-to-the-death scene. I’ll take you down Im Jaebum, I swear I will. Watch your back, pretty boy.
Swooning on the inside, right, whatever helps you sleep at night. [ ' well jb's laughing and he's clearly not laughing because he's amused or anything, it's clearly a mocking laugh. it is. to everything jinyoung's say and the glare he's trying to plaster on too. but then he's reaching behind to tug his bag and pull out a camera, courtesy of the canon brand that he's been modeling for since yesterday actually. it's ridiculous at times how most of the things he owns, he does not own them. but he likes it, he has his own reasons for it being so. ] I'll always be annoyed, so stop dreaming right now. [ ' he's holding the camera in a hand and the other tight on the strap of his bag to toss it at jinyoung's feet he's shaking bangs out of his sight while straightening and moving to stand in front of jinyoung. ]
There's something in there for you, [ ' a suit to be exact. why is he doing this again? ] Put it on and try to look serious for a good four minutes and you'll get a treat? [ ' question mark because he's not sure this is going to work. he should stop making promises to jinyoung's sister. he should stop making promises that involves taking care of anything jinyoung's involved in period. ]
[ ☑ ☒ — he’s clearly no match for jb’s superior skills of preparation. mark could even say he’s a little scared? intimidated? by them but— he’s busier thanking whoever watches over him, for this chance to miss lecture. technically if he’s not doing it intentionally, it’s not his fault. the reasoning isn’t sound but he’s okay with that. ] ” jackson isn’t that bad. ” [ ` oh, but he so is. ] ” this is a little alarming— how you’ve got everything planned down to a t, but kind of impressive, too. ” [ ` mark has clearly submitted at this point, and follows jb to the car, tossing his backpack in the trunk before sliding into the back. ]
” alright, tell me what you know or— what i should know about these two lucky ladies. ” [ ` all the while, he starts by sliding his sleeves out of his shirt. thank goodness for tinted windows. ] ” — and how much time i have to change— “
[ ' jackson isn't that bad, jb rethinks the words but doesn't make to answer, it's the reason why a quiet snicker leaves him though. but he's not going to comment because he knows mark must know that the moment the words leave his mouth it's definitely more of a lie than anything else so he'll shrug it away. ] When you have a schedule packed and need to remember to also live and eat, it's easy to be organized and ready at all times. [ ' he's stopping and sliding inside of the car while mark does the same and turning around to watch him get ready but also to inform him of what he's asked. ]
The one that you have to keep busy? She's petite, really cute, she talks more than you do, she's a make up artist. She's pretty bold though, be careful she bites. [ ' really she doesn't bite but she has more of a tougher edge than the one jb has his eyes on. ] The one that's my target, she's a new model, I don't even know how it came to this but it's just for today and it's over, as usual. [ ' seriously all he'd done was greet her and try to ease her into the photoshoot that he had to do with her. because if she was nervous then it would ruin it. but before he knew it, well he sort of might have had her laughing and leaning against him when the cameras were off. and that felt nice, it always feels nice. so he asked her out, no big deal, he can't resist it, he had to. but then she's bringing in this other friend of hers who's chaperoning her, he;s not even sure how old she is. he'll have to ask that. ]
"So like... I got this modeling job offer thingy and I... have no idea how to become better at it. They're looking for unique and 'out of the box' models. Do I look as one? Exactly."
He takes a look at her, can’t help it, she’s asking about how she looks after all--in a sense. He has to take a good look if he wants to judge, but he’s not going to judge. He’s going to smile simply, reach for her hand--does it, turns her around as if surveying, as if considering. He’s not considering anything he's going to tell her she's perfect for it, why would he say otherwise? But he’s humming in thought. Until he stops her to face him again, “I think you look good enough for the project, out of box means you look good being yourself where other people look as if they’ve fallen out of bed by just being themselves.”
Who knows even that could be out of the box. Photographers and artists nowadays tends to put meanings in everything they find is different. It’s ridiculously. Ridiculously amusing and entertaining to watch when they’re trying to figure things out with him. The funniest part? Is that whatever they choose, it always works. He gives a shrug, his smile is widening, slightly, amused. He’s not supposed to be amused, but he is, what can he do? “That’s how I always see it at least. When’s the deal for?”
i. the boy who belongs to the wind the sea carries, where mother is the dust that lays against his eyelashes till he blinks and welcomes the sting of open salty wounds. ii. self-para; timeline: past. iii. trigger warning: domestic violence.
Where do you belong?
She rarely ever smiled, but he never held it against her it must have been hard to even try.
Because if it wasn't the right corner, it was the left one always left bruised. It’d heal but by the time the skin cleared up he would have managed to break her jaw. Cheeks colouring with the strength of his fists that never cared much for the traces it left behind. So he smiled for her because she never did really smile. When she easily healed and patched and fortune made it that he hadn’t put new ones on her, she tried to return it, but he never expected much of them. She barely ever smiled but he always had one on his face.
Even when she came to tuck him in, bones where flesh should be, broken words that she’d manage to get out for a story she wanted to read him. She didn’t have to but she sat and he listened, fell asleep to her frail voice. Remembered the story as if he’d lived in them. He let her do it because it felt as if she believed in those fairy tales more than he did. She never really smiled but her words through the stories carried a gentle tone that felt like the breath of a smile against his ears. Smoothing. He’d dream of her smile. Dream of her warmth. Of her laugh. Which he never heard. She never laughed. But that day, he remembered the rose on her face not caused by his father's hands. High up where her smile was curving her cheeks, he remembered the touch of her lips against his own rosy cheeks from the blush that crept its way on his face. Bliss that was brought by her voice soft against his ear. You’re my little boy and I love you. Love you love you. She laughed against his skin, kissed it countless times and then sent him away to school. That day she gave him everything he’d dreamed of, made him leave with a heart as light as feathers, footsteps barely hitting the ground. Then run back home with promises on the tip of his tongue. Sweet like the candy his teacher gave him for being obedient the whole day. For looking more like a little boy, for participating, for showing he lived. It was odd. Being rewarded for that. Odd and it made him happy. Hope dancing in his eyes when he pushed the door open. She was nowhere, he was everywhere. It never was noisy, their home, but this silence was not the same as the one that was often waiting for something to shatter. For pieces to break. It was heavy with something else. Her absence at the door to greet him the way she'd do everyday when he came back home, even when she was bruised and moving was more of a chore than an exercise.
She'd always be there, always.
But then,
She left he said. Because of you he said. Jaebum was a little boy, did not understand. He did not get any of his father's words until the pain hit his cheek. He felt it before he saw it and somehow instead of crying, he laughed. He had a hand against his reddening cheek, laughing, crouched at the entrance without ever noticing that the pain had brought tears to his eyes. Despite the salty taste on his tongue all he felt was the sweet taste of her kiss this morning. She left. Took a piece and quit.
Never again could he feel the rise of heat on his face from the touch of tenderness, because none compared to the one she'd left on his skin. Where do you belong? Wherever she's gone to.
"Just please don’t say you love me."
The words are slipping out and he’s looking at her with his eyebrows high, questioning. But not really questioning why she’s saying that, but question where she’s always refusing him to do it, always telling him to not do it. It’s not like it’s going to stop him, she must know it the moment she speaks of it. She must know he will grin, mischievous, that he will lean across the table where his chin was resting, eyes lowered before he heard her speak. What was he going on about? Probably something that has to do with her, must be hwy she said that. But she earns what comes next, his hands on her cheeks, his lips pressed to her forehead, a kiss that’s firm and smiling as he pulls away to tug on her ears next when he does so.
"I love you baby girl, I love you most. I love you more than the moon and the sun and more than a mother tiger loves her cubs." There’s humor in his tone, dancing with the words and his tugs on her ears are not letting go, the grip is loose though, not meant to hurt, meant to tease. There’s a chuckle in the words that finally finds its way through when he stops talking.
"Let’s stay up all night."
He’s going to regret it, yet her words ring and he’s already leaning against the couch turning his eyes on her. Amused, he’s clearly amused ,wondering why she’s even uttering them out like that. As if it’s a must, as if it has to be tonight or no other night, he’s not sure, it’s how he feels it. He feels it then runs in his mind what he has to do tomorrow, it’s a friday night, but really nothing is impossible because he works on calls sometimes. He’ll be needed somewhere and he’ll have to rush.
A photoshoot here, a fansign here, a promotion to work for. A gala to attend, an unimportant night where he has to show up with products he’s being sponsored by. It’s not a good idea, he’s going to regret it. But he’s never found it in himself to refuse simple requests when they’re being asked by a girl, sitting next to him, looking like she wants it when she asks. If she wants it, he’ll let her have it, if he can give it. A night without blinking, is something he can afford to give her. So he’s slipping an arm across her shoulders tugging her close by to press his cheek against her hair and there’s a chuckle. It’s a soft sound and gone the next, but he’s going to do it before he speaks.
He was going to do it before he thought about the cons and pros.
"Long as I will not be blamed for any bags under your eyes tomorrow." Still he’ll take the blame, still he’ll let her whine and complain if she wants to.
"I will become yours and you will become mine."
He’s not going to laugh, he doesn’t find it funny, or laughable. But he’s going to clear the misunderstanding because if there’s one thin that’s never going to happen, it’s him belonging to someone else than himself. Or him wanting someone else to belong to him rather than themselves. There’s a fair amount of self-centered feeling in everything he does, everything he gets and everything he gives back. So he’s shaking his head at her words.
"I am mine, but I share bits of me to who I want but it does not mean that it’s theirs, it’s a borrow and return policy. You should do that too. Never let a man or anyone tell you that you’re theirs, they have no rights." Even though his smile is casual and he’s still looking nonchalant after saying that, he thinks it with every calm beat of his heart. There’s no way around it. Humans are no property. The way his mother did not belong to his father and that was why she left, she did not belong to her son either, she only belonged to herself and she knew then that to make sure she did not crumble she had to leave. The same way he does not belong to his father, never did. Besides that was not the deal when he got himself into this—he’s not even sure he can label it as dating because he’s never done that properly so, doesn’t see himself settling for that long to do that properly so.
"I crumble completely when you cry"
He’s looking up from the magazine he’s holding, just skimming through while still listening to the other man talk. He’s not sure of what the topic was, but he can remember bits of it. Words to use when talking to girls, women, the female gent. Words were a way of either getting a red hand marked on your cheek or a grip that allows you to take a step further in their lives. For real, he’s had to learn this the hard way. Which is mostly made of bruises across his skin and bruised egos which ran deeper. It’s just a good thing that he’s also learned that along the way, he doesn’t really mind if it works or not, he just really minds that he’s done something. If it puts a smile on their faces, he’s happy with that. Because somewhere in this world, breathing the same air as him, he would be happy if someone is putting a smile on his mother’s face as well.
"That might not be good, too dramatic, tone it down a bit? Unless she’s the romantic type, the kind that’s obsessed over romance in any type of medias, and also the kind that most likely look at you like they want to rip you apart but once they talk," He’s making a hand motion shaking his head as a grin settles firm on his mouth, "It’s all, contradicting what they show you. They’re softer here." His hand is pointing to his chest and his eyes are going back down to his magazine, highlighting what he’s been told to find. "Still too dramatic. Would never use it in a serious real situation."
( ` jackson likes jb’s face for the most part. it’s not his fault that his spark is gone. jackson just hasn’t taken a good picture lately. he’s lost his sense of direction and maybe a fraction of his creativity but it comes and goes. the pains of being a real artist he reminds himself. what would kanye west do? push through it that’s what. what about wong kar wai? or john woo? or drake. drake would tell him it’ll be okay. why isn’t drake here with him now. he feels sad about it. ) I don’t know your life man I don’t know what you do when I’m not here. I didn’t even expect you to have one but since you do this is great. ( ` his voice goes up higher in pitch and is made distinctly feminine as he gets up and follows after jb ) And I am totally going to hook you up, like girrrrlll when I’m done with you, you are going to look fierce! ( ` is he snapping? he’s snapping )
[ ' he's listening to jackson's rambling, half listening half rolling his eyes because even if he doesn't get most of what the boy say at times he knows it will be eye roll worthy so he just does it. ] You think you're in a reality show now? [ ' he's disposing of what he's got on the top of the night table and then falling on his bed while dragging his bag with him. ] I actually have them on me for just in case situations where the other make-up artists need it or can't find theirs in urgent situations. [ ' also because his agent told him that he should be carrying one at all times by this one label that wants him to be their new face model for awhile. apparently he looks good with eyeliner, go figure. it's not really his thing, but anything that looks good on him is totally worth the shot. he'll never say no to that. he only has to fumble for awhile before pulling out a make-up kit. he literally has all the different types they offered some even in different colors. this could lead to so much misunderstandings, but jb could careless, emptying it all on the mattress,before he lazily rubs his eyes, sleep is going to be needed soon. ] alright, pick one.
( … ) Traitor! ( ` is shouted in his direction and jackson does something like a somersault into a james bond roll off of jr’s back and flattens himself onto the floor completely dejected )
[ ... ] little pigs, little pigs, let me in. i’m cold and hungry but as long as you have pizza or chicken i promise not to eat you guys.
[ ... ] You get food if you eat him.
[ ' he's listening to what's happening but with distractedly so if he has to be honest. mostly he's reached the fridge and trying to find anything at all that'd be enough to feed an entire pack of hungry and stupid boys. he's not in the lot of stupidity. even if he kind of share sometimes. but his level will never reach those of the two boys he's hearing loud and clear in the kitchen. he finally spots something, chicken wings left overs that he immediately puts in the microwave. chips in cupboards that he finds and fills two bowls of it. that'll do while they wait on what he finds next, noodles, which will do just fine. he's starving from just picking out these things though. but he walks back to the living room holding the two bowls of chips. ] Let's feed off chips and the remaining of this pizza until we get something better. [ ' he says because he's heard mark who's at the door and he knows want it or not mark's going to want food. they all want food really. what else to expect from growing boys whose only purposes in life are food, games, sleep and girls. ] Don't eat Jackson of all people, he's the grossest in here and he's shorter, you won't get full. Start with the one that's hiding behind you [ ' that's added while he's shuffling to put the bowls down on the table. ]
[ sms to: loser ] are we still meeting up or do you have s hoot to go to?
sms // baby girl : you mean for the work out session? if so then yes, we’re still meeting up.sms // baby girl : my schedule’s clear for today, i’m all yours for what's left of these 24 hours.sms // baby girl : I'm also on my way to the gym, where are you?
( ` jackson rubs his hands together and pulls his hat off, pulling it down to cover his nose and mouth as he tries his hand at playing coy and being cute ) Oppa, I think you're soooo handsome. I think you're the coolest and even though your heart is cold I still like you. Can I have a lollipop now? ( ` the pitch of his voice changes ) And you should give Jackson money. ( ` he stops and looks around confused ) Oh! Oppa who said that? I thought we were alone.
[ ’ it takes him by surprise at first but after a few words and looking up to see jackson’s lips moving and his hat over his head. jb’s done and through with this by the time the word lollipop crosses jackson’s lips—that’s even too far for him, he’s heard too much by then. he’s plugging in his earphones before he can hear more of it—turning his music on with the highest volume that exists enough to null jackson’s voice because he’s having none of this right now. although he keeps his eyes on jackson just so he can see when he’s done playing and point to his ears before shaking his head, a grimace on his face. there might even a be a small nope that leaves his mouth. he doesn’t know if his voice comes out or not, but he knows he mouths it. ]
She did her best to try to send him a death glare, but at this moment with her cheeks being squished, and her nose slightly scrunched up, she doubt she looked any more threatening than a fruit fly. Grabbing onto his hands that were currently placed on her face, she lightly pushed them off of her, afraid that if she pushed them too hard it would damage her face as well. The female quickly rubbed her cheeks, still pouting because she was sure they were a bit red now. “I am never showing you a magic trick again, Im Jaebum.”
His grip loosens, letting go of her cheeks, not quite stopping the snicker that leaves him at her statement. He is certain the other boys would like it better, he's also more than willing to pay any price to see them watching a magic show, with his own expectations of who would be fooled and who would be the fool trying to figure it all out as it is, JB just really has no interest. Still, he feels as if he has to make up for it, him not being the best spectator there is to a magic show, or maybe he just really wants to get out of here now--either way he slides an arm across her shoulders and pull her against his side with a firm tug, "Let me show you one magic trick, it's called walking from here to the nearest restaurant because food always magically solve any problems I have."
[ voice mail ] JB jz juujuubee. I'm like fifty percent when you drop off the earth an' I don't expect a warning or anything yanno, so why am I even sending this. You could probably step on a lego and smile. Its only been 72 hours but you haven't popped in to do that old man thing you do with the glare and makin sure jr doesn't try to pawn off my virginity. You're alive right? PICK UP YOUR PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- [ message end ]
My muse’s phone has been off for three days. What sort of text messages or voice messages does your muse leave for them? [ 3 / 3 ]
sms // bamwanna be : Were you high all the time I was away? Sounds like it. sms // bamwannabe : I stepped on a leggo on my way out of the shoot site today, I blame this on you, this power is too strong. sms // bamwannabe : I’m not old by the way, you’re just kind of a fetus. But I’m not old and alive alright? I really couldn’t pick up, got too busy sorry, I’ll pass by soon to do the thing you said no worries. sms // bamwannabe : Wait, Jr’s pawning off your virginity? Tell him to not forget to add Jackson’s in the lots. sms // bamwannabe : Kidding, kidding, he better not sell you kids. Sorry for disappearing ‘bin, I’ll take nay punishment that comes my way. Listening to your new lyrics should be good enough right?