ღ. from the moment she was able to get a good look at his face, the despair and heartbreak was evident. she let out a deep sigh and slumped into her chair, pink tresses cascading down the chair on every side. his observation managed to pry a sardonic laugh from her lips and she nodded. “ dead is a nice way to put it. some of these kids just can’t cut it. they can’t sing and get a pass because they’re cute or end up being shoved into the position of rapper. it makes my job incredibly difficult. autotune can’t fix EVERYTHING.” she whinged, annoyed with the entire day. she was being a bit harsh and she knew it but her dismal attitude meant she couldn’t really be assed to care. “ real, genuine talent and passion are dying out. i know i shouldn’t bitch because they’re IDOLS but i mean, c’mon on.”
she watched him intensely, watching his face contort with pain as he thought. in the back of her mind, she was sure she already knew what he was going to say. it was always in the back of her mind, always nagging her. anytime she laid eyes on one of those little girls she had to force those dark, twisted thoughts out of her brain. she was sure that if the thought of yejin was so pervasive for her, it couldn’t be much better for jungshin. that was his wife, perhaps his soul mate, even if bitna didn’t believe in such things. that’s what kept her silent most of the time. even when days were bad and she needed a DRINK because she missed yejin, she kept that to herself. he had lost so much more than she had and she didn’t have the heart to make yejin’s death about her.
unsure of what to say, she reached a lithe hand out and gave a reassuring squeeze to his knee, her hand lingering there for support. “i know you would, jungshin. you’re such a good dad, you really are. don’t ever doubt that.” what advise could she give? she wasn’t a parent, she had no idea what was the correct thing to do. children were still a mystery to her, if she were honest. maybe she had lost her mom as well, that was true, but her mom was neglectful and abusive and her death meant bitna got to LIVE. it wasn’t the same, no matter how you tried to spin it. she had no words of wisdom to give and if she was honest with herself, she had dealt with yejin’s death in one of the most self destructive ways imaginable, trying to follow her to an early grave. how could she judge haeryung for withdrawing when she handled it all so poorly herself. “it’s gonna hurt. it’ll always hurt. she just needs to find something to be passionate about. she needs her light at the end of the tunnel.”
✧･ﾟ: * — he nodded as she spoke, agreeing wholeheartedly to her musing. he had spoken of the same issue to bona, who was the young rapper he had been mentoring since she was younger. the two had met underground, the little girl back then so hopeful and eager to learn and perform. ❛ unfortunately, i agree. but that’s what you’re there for. and god, you don’t know how thankful i am that bona’s the one handling the rap training. i would KILL someone if it wasn’t a true rapper teaching my princess rapping. i mean, we already helped her out a great deal but if their teacher was some fake wannabe... ❜ he tapered off, shaking his head. the mere thought caused anger to rise within him.
✧･ﾟ: * — yejin... the woman he loved, the mother of his children. he was devastated by her death, yet no more devastated than the fact that his youngest daughter would have to live with that in mind for the rest of her life. he KNEW that blame and guilt would haunt the youngest im daughter, especially when every day of her life is a reminder that her mother gave hers for it. ❛ i miss her. ❜ he said quietly, leaning against the seat and closing his eyes as he heaved a heavy sigh. yejin would kill him for smoking again, but he couldn’t stop. not when it was the only thing keeping him from doing OTHER things he knew would have her rolling in her grave.
✧･ﾟ: * — ❛ she has her career. ❜ he mused, running a frustrated hand through thick dark brown locks. ❛ but she overworks herself so much, you know? as if she has something to prove. ❜ he could understand it, of course. with a mother giving her life for her daughter to live, he KNEW that haeryung wanted to prove that she wasn’t wasting the life given to her; he knew that haeryung wanted to make them proud. ❛ i’m already so proud of her. i’m sure yejin is too... i just don’t want to see her putting so much unnecessary stress on herself thinking that she HAS to for our sake. ❜
