dumpster fire

simon. 20. he/him. back to regularly scheduled bullshit

[captainmera]

trying to get your story together like:

[captainmera]

Explaining your story to a willing ear:

[captainmera]

“I really like your story! is there more?”

[captainmera]

“I like this character, is there more about them?”

[snowfox24imcompletetrash]

@swirledstarz

It’s us

[toomuchperfume]

[spicydemonbuns]

Reblog if you would fuck a demon

[cannibaltree]

being horny is so fucking stupid. if you horny you’re immediately a dumbass. that person could literally just be wearing a t shirt and the sight of their collarbone feels like you just snorted a line of coke. god fucking forbid they wear pants rolled over their ankles. you’re foaming at the mouth and crounched on the floor like a fucking animal. you catch the sight of (1) toned muscle? flatlined. dead.

[dude-bro-tm]

This also works for craving romantic attention. Like, they smiled? I'm in tears. Our gazes meet? My heart is fluttering. If I receive a single complement from them, I an proposing.

[nyanbinyuri]

posts that make you understand repressed victorian gentlemen upon witnessing a fair maiden’s scandalously exposed ankle 

[whitepeopletwitter]

[marzipanandminutiae]

okay I have a sneaky plan I’m so proud of

so my mom was born in 1953, and had the first type of Barbie doll ever released (the Number One Barbie, as doll folks call her). she was talked into selling the doll at a yard sale when she was a teenager and has regretted it ever since. we’re a doll-loving family in general, so when I was at a doll convention this summer and had the opportunity to buy her a Number Three Barbie that looked much like her lost one, I jumped at the chance

I’d been saving up for this convention for months and the doll I wanted for myself was way under my budget, so I could afford the Barbie just fine. but she was expensive, and Mom insisted immediately that I not get her anything for Christmas. we’d wrap the Barbie and put her under the tree instead

I argued for a while, and then got an idea

my great-grandmother made my mom tons of Barbie clothes when she was a kid. the one she remembers most? a simple lilac brocade evening gown. very classic early 1960s

of course, me being inquisitive about all things family history, dolls, sewing, and especially the history of family sewing for dolls, it was only natural that I’d grill her on exactly what the dress looked like. nothing suspicious about that!

except

oops

my hands and needle slipped

the dress still needs a snap and I have to make the matching fringed stole (the color is also way more saturated than it looks in the photo; I have no idea what’s wrong with my phone camera), but it’s nearly there. I’m going to secretly dress the doll and wrap her in the box as if nothing’s changed

I can’t wait to see Mom’s face

[my18thcenturysource]

PLEASE keep us posted. I wanna know EVERYTHING.

I’m sure your mom will be so happy.

[reversecentaur]

the inevitable conclusion

[chaoflaka]

So 2016 is SO bad that it made the creator of this meme give us an alternative version of “This is Fine”. 

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

2016? PSSHHHHH

[cabybapa]

God remember when we thought 2016 was the worst year….

[bogleech]

this 50′s hungarian comic strip I’d never heard of until now is so damn cute for something that also gets so horny

[coolclaytony]

It helps that the writer was trying to create something he hoped would appeal to women as much as men.

[bogleech]

Yeah and I think where it really succeeds vs. modern anime wifey fantasy shit is that Jucika really is just a character super comfortable with being sexual, likes looking sexy and even has no shame in using it to get her way:

….But at the same time, she doesn’t tolerate being objectified against her wishes:

….And the comic takes her side in both cases, whereas I’ve seen countless modern narratives in which this same character would have only been framed as like a Slutty ™ Bitch ™ or full blown villain.

[xccentriktigress]

[toesucker]

If I were a children’s show animator I would simply not be a pervert

[rose---child]

Thanks toesucker

[toesucker]

Oh I forgot

[toesucker]

[sheepsbian]

as much as i appreciate the increased usage of they/them pronouns as a non binary person that uses those pronouns, y'all need to also understand that using they/them on someone who does not use they/them is still misgendering

[notveryproductive]

Using they/them for someone whose gender/pronouns you’re unsure of: good; doesn’t make assumptions; more concise and inclusive than the dreaded “he or she.” not misgendering

Using they/them for someone who has already told you their gender/pronouns (and doesn’t use they/them): not good; ignores their implicit/explicit wishes; often used as an ‘out’ by closet transphobes to avoid referring to a binary trans person with their preferred pronouns while still appearing ‘woke.’ this is misgendering

[ikeajoint]

yeah

[no-use-906547-2000-deactivated2]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

when u finally meet the girl of your dreams but she’s just a facial reconstruction of a long dead Viking shield maiden : (

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Pygmalion situation where she comes to life in a museum and we fall in love

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Never mind this is the plot of Night at the Museum starring Ben Stiller

[k-eke]

Little crow knight ready for the adventure !

Rpg game l would like to make haha 

[yidfem]

people are always like oh trans men are so cute and adorable but what about… trans men are handsome trans men are alluring trans men are dashing trans men are charming trans men are dapper trans men are hot trans men are sexy trans men are dreamy ( begone chasers! this post was made by a trans man! )

[yandere-angela]

Kinda fucked up how cis women are allowed to abandon feminity in the name of feminism but trans women are forced to adopt it just to be recognized as women

[renaissanceenby]

even worse is when cis feminists accuse trans women who overperform femininity for safety of being tools of the patriarchy, and trans women who underperform femininity for ANY reason (including abandoning it in the name of feminism) fakers.

[zagreus]

[gynandromorph]

ADHD is only motivated by 5 things: -urgency -challenge -novelty and play -interest -being a contrarian little bitch

[jumpingjacktrash]

i’m also very food motivated

[exponentialcrisis]