Longer version... knowing myself, probably a lot longer version... Well, the main message is the same. I'm not a woman. This is me coming out as transgender. I've known a while. Was hesitant to talk about it here because tumblr is full of people half my age who have "always known" that their gender doesn't match their assigned sex, and here I am, closer to 30 than 25 and just now figuring this shit out.
A part of it is probably that I've not been as unhappy in my assigned sex as a lot of trans people are. Most of my life, I’ve been very indifferent to my gender, mainly just going along with the expectations that come with having been born with the female parts, however... While I can’t say that I “always knew” that wasn’t right, in retrospect the signs have been there. Hindsight; isn’t it lovely?
I've been out and about presenting as male for the past few months. Probably not passing (long red hair doesn't help on that count), but I don't see a woman when I look in the mirror, and being pre-everything that's probably the best I can hope for. Many times, walking home from uni I've been thinking of writing this message and posting this... But when I'd get to my computer there would be something more important to do and then I'd chicken out.
I'm not out to my family. When I don't speak with them even on a weekly basis, it seems a bit pointless. However, next week my parents are coming to visit and... we'll see. I tried telling my sister -- well, I did tell her but I don't think she realised I was being serious. A couple of my closest non-tumblr friends know. And now you folks.
I also have a new tumblr; taimproblem (yeah, I can hear the Unreasonably Attractive Fandom chortling in the distance :D don't worry, it amuses me, too). Anyone who wants to, can follow me there. I'm going to follow a whole bunch of you back on that account. I'm not deleting ilenn; I'm just leaving it inactive. Will keep checking messages and such for a while but yeah. (For those who care, elan-morin-tedronai will remain active and as it is; I'm transferring control of it to the new account the next thing after typing this.)
Umm... I'm not sure what else to say. I'll be happy to answer questions if anyone has any or whatever. I hope nobody is going to have a problem with me but... well, what can I do.
You're absolutely allowed to still call me Ile if you like. (I don't see it as a gendered name, really.) Or Aaron (which I hope to eventually go by in "real life"). Or Elan. Honestly, names have never been a deal breaker for me. I haven't really identified with my legal name for quite some time before I even began to figure this shit out so yeah.
I'll shut up now.
