A diary of my daily thoughts

[ilikeurfaceeee]

[ilikeurfaceeee]

And I know, in a year, you’ll forget I’m gone, ‘cause I’m not really something to be dwelled on. That’s what they used to tell me, all those kids at school, so I’m going by the law majority rules

[ilikeurfaceeee]

he carried on like a soldier with a battle wound,
Bleeding out from every cut her body consumed

[ilikeurfaceeee]

“but I can’t deal with the pain, I’m not a fighter.”

[ilikeurfaceeee]

I always thought I wouldn’t make it past 16 and now I’m 23 trying to make it through the day.

The feeling of being a problem, a disappointment a burden and extremely unwanted.

The cycle never ends every thought I had back then still goes through my head when will it end?

Can I continue

Should I keep trying or give up and except that this life isn’t worth living anymore

I’ve made it this far but can I do it much longer

[ilikeurfaceeee]

You’re the best friend that I ever had, Such a shame I had to make you so very sad, Just remember that you meant everything to me, And to my heart you’re the only one that held the key

[ilikeurfaceeee]

Everything was always my fault

Nothing was ever right or up to standards

My feelings weren’t real had to hold everything back

A mother’s love is supposed to be unconditional and kind

My mother’s love was neither of those

I’m not sure if she was incapable of love or if she just despised me and my existence

What is a mothers love if it’s not unconditional and kind

[ilikeurfaceeee]

“Look at me now are you proud of your precious child? She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon tears of pain it’ll all be over soon the chair fell down as she took her final breath it’s all over, all gone now she’s greeting death.” Her last words

[ilikeurfaceeee]

The feeling of being completely exhausted and detached from reality has become more and more normal for me. The anger I feel when I want change and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it is killing me. Trying to heal is getting harder and harder, every time I start doing better, feeling better and actually feeling like life is worth living and pushed back down to the ground.

Is it even real? This life doesn’t seem like a reality more like a bad dream that I’m just floating through day to day. I feel empty, numb and confused.

[better--0ff--dead]

What if I told you I wanted to die? That I’m tired of living, of being alive?

What if I said it gets worse at night? The thoughts get louder and nothing is right.

What if I lied and said everything was alright? No, I’m not crying, I swear I’m alright.

What if I died? I doubt you’d even cry. Would you even care if I took my own life?

[xdearcarmenx]

hold me once the drugs are done, and I feel like dying. i feel like dying.

@xdearcarmenx (via xdearcarmenx)

[ilikeurfaceeee]

Lately I’ve really been thinking about ending it. It’s been a constant thought Everything would be so much easier for me and everyone else if I was gone.

[ilikeurfaceeee]

She was tired. Mentally and physically. She wanted to close her eyes and never open them again.

[deppression]

[ilikeurfaceeee]

Praying you don’t end up like the others.

[unstablenes-deactivated20210117]

[ilikeurfaceeee]

Some nights.

[wordscutdeeperthanknives-blog]

[ilikeurfaceeee]

I’m sorry

[wohoochild]

Would you kiss her lips Knowing A razor has kissed her wrist

(via wohoochild)

Would you…

(via ilikeurfaceeee)