I Would Like to Cross Examine the Parrot @illogicaldefender-blog - Tumblr Blog

calmgem:

“Yes…” She tried not to dwell on the past, or to think of what became of some of her friends. The thought of those gem mutants in the kindergarten still haunted her dreams.

“Ew!” She gasped. Raising the dead –that’s exactly what she didn’t want to think about. “I guess to tell when someone is lying would be useful, though…” She just hated to think of the other thing.

“No she doesn’t raise them, she like channels them. You know like a satellite dish o your TV, then you change the channel with a remote control. Oh, but what if it’s a commercial break.” He thought for a moment, “I think I lost control of that metaphor sorry.”

“It’s useful when you’re in court. Though that’s kind of cheating I guess.” He diddn’t want to dwell on that part, so he excitedly clapped his hands and brought out his magitama. “Here I can show you! Say something that’s a really obvious lie, like, my name is Saphire and I’m a big meanie. Then I’ll be able to see your lie.”

He paused.

“You see it’s a lie because, I think you’re a super nice person, rock, gem, gemson.”

#calmgem

tragimouto:

“Really? Ugh, he would lose like that, wouldn’t he… what an absolute loser.”

“And you’re his boss? No offense, but, Battler, Maya… they’re both losers. Two’s a coincidence, but three’s a pattern… so… what are you? Is this a loser agency for dweebs?”

More of her standard teasing. It likely came across more harsh than intended.

“The boxers said the funniest thing on the back end too, what was it again? Oh yeah, ‘Property of Beato’. Some people and their PDA, am I right?”

He was just a little bit jealous though. If only because he was old enough and married enough to qualify as an old married couple, the kind that did not engage in as much PDA. “Yep, that’s us! Instead of the three muskateers we’re the three loserteers” Pehonix responded happily with a chuckle.

He was far, far too used to being made fun of by now. “In our original world though we were called the Wright Anything Law Agency, and Talent Company. That’s because my daughter Trucy was a magician.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, you’re a witch right. I hope she comes to this city some time because I’m sure she’d love to meet you, she loves magic.”

Organizing a playdate already, what a dad he was.

#tragimouto

ladybeato:

The witch was so used to dramatics that Pheonix hopping over his desk wasn’t strange at all, though now that he came closer, Beato leaned forward as if she was inspecting him.

“Ah, you’re the one who dressed up as – I mean, you were our lovely Furfur, yes?”

“I don’t believe we were properly introduced.”

Of course, he ought to know who she was, but it was just common courtesy for someone who not only was so pleasant to her husband, but who also helped their Halloween event be such a success.

“I am Lady Beatrice, the Golden Witch and magical adviser to the Ushiromiya family,” she paused, chuckling for a moment. “And, of course, Battler’s wife.”

Though, that was all a bit obvious.

“… And you are?”

… Gathering evidence? Beato cocked her head at an angle for a moment, processing Pheonix’s words. Then, she coughed, suddenly reaching up to scratch her cheek.

“Tonight was our date night, you see…” Her eyes suddenly caught sight of a calendar on a desk, and she realized her mistake. “Er, I mean, tomorrow is, so I – I was merely coming to ask him if he had any thoughts on what to do! But, if he’s not here… I’ll wait for him, then.”

Because that was reasonable.

“Yeah, I was your froo froo, or your furry, or whatever!”

Phoenix announced happily, taking the normal approach that he did to trying to pronounce words that he did not quite remember. That being the trainwreck approach.

“Am I supposed to walk up and kiss your knuckle at this point, I suppose that would be the gentlemanly thing to do but I just ate a bunch of onions on my hamburger so that would probably smell awful. I think I’ll just kiss the air around you.”

Phoenix said, and then repeated such a ridiculous action. Kissing thing air, and then bowing to her.

“Phoenix Wright, father at law, no, attorney at law! That’s the one!”

“Oh, you’re right you should wait for him! Good idea, let’s pass the time together then.” He excitedly leaned back on his desk. Any excuse to not do paperwork, really.

“What do you like to talk about, let’s see. Battler’s favorite subjects are, beato, beatrice, and the Golden Witch. Do you like talking about yourself?” That would do it, yes. “Alright, tell me more about you. Let’s get to know each other I’m very interested.”

#ladybeato

mediumofthestars

✯ Never underestimate a Fey’s ability to remember anything that might have bothered them in the past, Phoenix. Such is the lesson you should take from this for life.

✯ “Well, I’m almost done with the ballots anyway, so you don’t need to do that. But there’s a bunch of golden butterflies that need to be untangled and songs to be played. After Fighter got his song to play, we’ve been getting lots of requests for specific songs, so get on that!”