Access Unrestricted.

Welcome to my little corner of the internet, ask me anything you want or just lurk. I post what I feel like posting and if you don't like that, nuts.

[cikero]

I be sleeping in the master chief position

[cikero]

[crtter]

[catchymemes]

[ralfmaximus]

phrog

[casputin]

What a phantastically drawn (and fysically phit) phrog. I love his tiny tofat.

[funnytwittertweets]

[churrotowns]

alex hirsch going rogue… king shit

[arsonistblue]

growing up bisexual, i know what it’s like to be rejected twice in a row. that’s why this pride i’ve partnered with marvel’s morbius

[andthenyourealizethat]

[linndrum]

“In my youth,” reminisced the old man, scratching his beard thoughtfully, “I was quite the quirked up white boy. No one in the village could best me at busting it down sexual style.”

“And were you goated, sir?” the young boy queried.

“My dear boy, I most certainly was!” The old man chuckled, a merry twinkle in his eye. “With the sauce, I daresay.”

[pointnclick]

musicians are like please listen to my 2019 album. no thanks. the 2008 one for me again please

[emil]

boss is presently trying to figure out an app

[emil]

this would be objectively the funniest way to find out you got fired though

[weirdwerewolf-deactivated-deact]

the little lego men are having gay sex every time you arent looking at them

[weirdwerewolf-deactivated-deact]

[greater-than-the-sword]

One time when I worked at the Dollar Tree a man came in with a little boy and he said to me, “This is my adopted son. He’s autistic.”

He told me this story. “When he got to be about 4 years old his mother realized he was growing up autistic and she didn’t want to raise him any more. So she drove out to the middle of nowhere and pulled over on the side of the highway and put him out of the car. On her way back in to town she was driving behind a van with a two story ladder tied on top. The ladder got loose and slid through her windshield, killing her instantly. They found her head in the backseat.”

I was like 😶 “your total is 13.95”

[recoiloperated]

[gooobifer]

kitty kins fucking obliterated in the comments section of a knitting video

[heronbrew]

I think it's hilarious that hands down the worst way to learn magic is the actual rulebook. Please do not read that. It's just there for reference when something weird happens

[lesbianralzarek]

posts that i know are about magic the gathering but i have to check to make sure op isn't just living in a way doper world than me

[marlynnofmany]

*giant wind gust outside*

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

[solar-socks]

This is all I think of when I see that! 

[imaginedsoldier]

Overwatch design philosophy is combining someone’s fetish and someone else’s bigotry, throwing a dartboard at a map and then covering it in gundam armor

[chaostheparrot]

I’M CRYING DFGDFGLDFKHLJFDHLFJGHLJSDGHDLSAGHJ

[shelter-wood]

there's a tortoise at work and he's 30 years old and I love that he's 30 years old because I can look at this animal that is 3 years older than me and go "does the man want his appy slices??" and he hustles over cause the man do want his appy slices