I lok Heimsins

A blog for my writing (both fanfic and original), art (fan and original), and music.

[heyepiphora]

Masturbation memories: A SEX TOY GIVEAWAY!

It’s been 14 years since I sat in my college dorm room and typed up my very first sex toy review. My blog is now a teen, the same age I was when I fell in love with a girl for the first time. Should I be asking my blog about its sexuality? Honey, you know you can come to me with anything.

I could yammer on about how different everything was back in 2007, because BOY WAS IT, but there are more pressing matters here, such as getting free sex toys into your hands! I’ve gathered 50 prizes for this giveaway, and I can’t wait to bestow them upon you.

Enter to win now! (ends 10/27) 

[heyepiphora]

GIVEAWAY: sex toy survival kits for the apocalypse

Fight your existential dread with orgasms. Enter to win one of 10 sex toy survival kits to get you through this dystopian nightmare, each worth $400+! 

Every kit is stocked with 4-5 outstanding items: legendary vibrators, hand-poured dildos, perfect butt plugs, thrusting toys, porn, my favorite lube, and more. These highly-curated kits contain only toys I know and love, and most are available to my international readers!

Giveaway ends 10/30. Enter to win on my blog — and don’t forget to pack your bug-out bag for extra entries! 

[soldierwinters]

On A Mission

Harry: It’s too dark, I can’t see anything.

Eggsy: Don’t worry, Harry. I got this.

Eggsy: *stomps foot*

Eggsy: *Adidas lights up*

[pedro-pastel]

I’m laughing way too hard at this. I can so picture this happening.

[zobb]

christmas eve what about christmas adam

[qoti]

happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists

[forfuturereferenceonly]

Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.

[achillesvevo-deactivated2020090]

Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam

[theguilteaparty]

Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.

[shojo]

Happy Christmas Adam everyone

[this-is-a-mainblog]

[latadelixo]

[bassarisque-deactivated20181203]

DOG. dog

[pagerunner-j]

[deejay]

[strawbnie-deactivated20251201]

i swear to god i’m the biggest michael buble xmas album stan but there is nothing more insulting than “santa buddy,,,, i’ll wait up for you DUDE” and even more ridiculously so— he changed the line “a 64′ convertible too, light blue” to “a 65′ convertible too, steel blue” like…………………….we get it…………………….ur straight……………….ur a MAN…………………………. we g

[strawbnie-deactivated20251201]

#say you want to fuck santa you COWARD

[maggiecheung-archive-deactivate]

[buysexual-deactivated20130804]

[bamfinacuddlyjumper]

Me: *gets story idea*

Me: This is so obvious and clever it practically writes itself!

*later*

Narrator: It did not write itself.

[novillanelle]

Incorrect Kingsman Quotes

[musterniillustrates]

dude, you’re on snapchats buzzfeed story omg

oh my god

[novillanelle]

Kingsman + Texts From Last Night

[daishannigans]

Eggsy meeting his dogs for the first time

[musterniillustrates]

in the spirit of small press i gotta say zine fairs are great if only because you will occasionally walk away with something real weird. for instance today someone traded me a handful of pigs teeth for one of my zines and i felt like a fucking wizard

so yeah bring me teeth and bones in exchange for my wares now guys

[shyghost]

ok but hard mode would you have accepted horse teeth

[musterniillustrates]

yes

[soldierwinters]

[darcyfirth]

So Harry Hart’s super dreamy and inviting and alluring from Eggsy’s POV. Okay then.

[ogkingsmanhartwin]

like they are fading out the background and using a sharp focus on Harry, not to mention they are coloring it a little more rouge than is usual, which tends to denote attractions SO LIKE