10000000% Correct Twilight Quotes!

On this blog we ship jaspeth and jakeward! Take it or leave it!

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Seth: why is Edward crying?

Jacob: I gave him a ‘get better soon’ card

Seth: he cannot get sick or can he?

Jacob: no, I just think he should do better

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Emmett: I’m always dtf

Embry: down to fuck or down to fight?

Emmett: yes

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Seth: what’s wrong?

Jasper: I had a bad day and I need your oral support

Edward: ... u mean “moral”?

Jasper: I think everyone know that’s not what I meant

Emmett: haha virgin!

Edward: shut up

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Emmett: I just love the rain. It reminds me of my first kiss.

Seth: aww. Was your first kiss under the rain?

Emmett: no, it was in the shower

Seth: oh...

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Hi hello, I hope you're doing well 😇 I just wanted to say that your blog gives me so much joy 💕💕 and that you deserve all the happiness in the world

OMG!!! Thank u so much😘 I‘m really happy to hear (read) this.. i actually thought, I’m the only person shipping this couple. But i’m sooooooo happy to have so lovely follower 😁

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Jasper: do u fancy coming over at lunch for a quickie?

Seth: 😶

Edward: it’s pronounced quiche.

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Jacob: never have I ever... thought Seth is beautiful

Jasper: *drinks*

Edward: *drinks*

Jacob and jasper: ...

Edward: what? Jasper didn’t stop talking about it! I started to see it!

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Jacob: Seth I like your top

Jasper: I have a name, u know

Jacob: ...

Jasper: ...

Seth: ... thanks

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Seth: *kills a spider*

Edward: god I wish that was me

Seth: Edward, go put a dollar in the self hatred jar

Edward: *puts a dollar in the jar* thank god I’m rich

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Security: *pointing at Jacob* is this guy bothering u, sir?

Edward: yes, but he is my husband. I signed up for this

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

*edward and Jacob are in a fight*

Jacob: *angry* go fuck yourself

Edward: I’d rather fuck u please!

Jacob: *confused* what?

Jasper: *without looking up from his book* he said he’d rather fuck u!

Seth:*sitting on jaspers lap* and he said please too

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

At the airport

Seth: no weapons? *grabs Jaspers arms* u can’t bring those guns with u

Jasper: no sharp objects? *touches Seth’s jawline* you’re gonna put this away

Jacob: no liquid? Guess I can’t throw up here

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Emmett talking to his son

Emmett: what does it feel like to be the child of the greatest vampire in the world?

Son: I don’t know, Uncle Jasper isn’t my dad

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Kidnapper: i have your son

Emmett: I don’t have a son

Kidnapper: *confused* your contact name is saved as daddy

Emmett: fuck! U have embry

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Seth joing the pack

Seth: it is such a pleasure to meet such positive homosexual role models such as yourself

Sam: I’m not homosexual

Jacob: and I’m not positive

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Embry: can’t u just try to look at things from my perspective?

Emmett: *crouches down to Embry’s height*

Embry: NOT LIKE THAT U FUCKING ASSHOLE!

[iluvjaspeth-blog]

Somewhere

Jacob: it’s a place I visit often when I think about the past

Edward: really?

Jacob: no.. I have no idea where the fuck we are