The inevitable heated rivalry sideblog of shame

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashandburnout/pseuds/crashandburnout

[ilyannarozanova]

The first time Ilya and Shane wrestle I think Ilya is SO confident because he has simply forgotten that he can only throw Shane around and pick him up because Shane lets him. He goes into it all cocky and smug and Shane immediately bodies him so hard he blacks out. Reality check of all time. 100% fatality rate no survivors. When Ilya comes to Shane is desperately googling what to do if you wrestle your boyfriend so hard he faints. Ilya is so pleased it's criminal. A core memory for everyone involved

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya Rozanov is the most "submissive like a guard dog is submissive" character of all time I fear. Like this is literally him:

[ilyannarozanova]

Meanwhile Shane Hollander is the most Border collie coded man alive. Do u know what I mean.

Like these are all the same guy

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya Rozanov is the most "submissive like a guard dog is submissive" character of all time I fear. Like this is literally him:

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya visibly on the verge of tears while a dead wife montage of Shane plays in his mind's eye (Shane is on the other end of the couch because he's mad at Ilya)

[ilyannarozanova]

Shane: Wow look at that idiot playing injured he's gonna get himself killed

Shane, looking closer: Fuck that's MY idiot

*One day later*

Ilya: Why is that idiot still playing he's obviously having panic attack

Ilya, zooming in: Ah fuck that's MY idiot

[ilyannarozanova]

Marleau: Hey Rozanov are u a big spoon or a little spoon?

Ilya: I'm a knife

Shane, without looking up from his phone: He's a little spoon

[ilyannarozanova]

"I'm a Shane Hollander apologist" well actually he has nothing to apologize for AND!! even if he did I would stand behind my man 100% ten toes down no matter what

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya drunk as hell at karaoke night singing ABBA's Lay All Your Love On Me to Shane. Powerful stuff

[ilyannarozanova]

Observing The Shane as a gay girlie is such an experience because I want to bite him and chew on him but NOT in a horny way. Like in a dog toy way. In an unsocialized cat showing affection way. I need to eat him so so so bad but I have zero interest in him sexually. Do you know what I mean

[ilyannarozanova]

I think if Ilya and Shane's friend group played tabletop rpgs that Shane would DM and he would be SO good at it. Just the most cutthroat diabolical "consequences of your own actions" DM of all time. Everyone is on their third or fourth character a few months in because they're all stupid and impulsive and Shane isn't about to let that slide. It's not even that Shane initially designed the world to be horribly hostile but no one is taking it seriously and he needs them to lock tf in.

The only players still on their first characters are Hayden's kids because they've been taking it deadly serious since session 0. Ilya is on his fifth character and desperately trying to invoke the "dm's partner" get out of jail free card at every turn. Shane tells him if he doesn't want to die again maybe he should consider making better decisions.

At some point Ilya runs a one-shot where he's super soft on everyone and the players walk all over him the whole time. He suddenly intimately understands Shane's dming style. During the next round of combat he sics a swarm of mutant rats on the party and gets accused of favoritism when Shane's character is the only survivor. The ensuing argument goes down in history because Hayden owes $200 to the swear jar by the end of it.

The next session Shane dms Ilya locks in like never before. He dies anyway.

[ilyannarozanova]

Writing chapter 1 of the Hollanov Star Wars au and I'm already putting Shane thru the horrors (being a youngling during Order 66) as god intended 🫡

Meanwhile putting Ilya thru a different set of horrors (growing up with a sadistic Imperial intelligence officer as a father) so they can be a matching set when they meet 🥰 #ourtrauma #ourptsd

[ilyannarozanova]

Fighting for my life trying to write the first chapter of the Hollanov Star Wars AU rn like can someone tell my stupid fucking brain that I actually like writing because why are we being like this 🙄

[ilyannarozanova]

HUGE NEWS I wrote the outline

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya looking up the word compatible: Oh so the thing that Shane and I are

[ilyannarozanova]

Fighting for my life trying to write the first chapter of the Hollanov Star Wars AU rn like can someone tell my stupid fucking brain that I actually like writing because why are we being like this 🙄

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya mate bad as hell statement.

[ilyannarozanova]

Working on my Star Wars Hollanov AU and I'm having so much fun

Okay so in this AU Shane is a Jedi who survived Order 66 as a child, along with a handful of others, including his adoptive mother and mentor. They fled to an outer rim planet and have been lying low, keeping the Jedi Order's values and traditions (including the ban on romantic relationships) alive. Shane is an exceptionally powerful force user who considers fighting the Empire and restoring the Jedi Order his sole purpose.

Ilya is the son of an Imperial officer. His brother is part of the Imperial Security Bureau, emulating their father's intensely pro-Imperial values. Ilya attended the Empire's flight academy, and became known as an exceptionally talented pilot, just like his mother, who killed herself after being branded a traitor by the Empire for involvement in anti-Imperial activity.

When Shane and Ilya were 17, they met after Ilya crash-landed on the planet where Shane and the remaining Jedi were hiding out. Shane, despite seeing the Imperial insignia on Ilya's flight suit, decided to spare him, and helped him get his ship airborne again. Ilya promised never to tell anyone about Shane, and the encounter permanently changed how he viewed the Empire.

After that, Ilya becomes involved in covert rebel activity as an agent on the inside. He knows that if his father, brother, or anyone in the ISB finds out he's a spy, they'll kill him, but he can't turn his back on the rebellion now that he knows how awful the Empire is.

Over the years, Ilya maintained some contact with Shane but never told anyone--even his fellow rebels--about it. During that time, they began hooking up, with Shane justifying to himself that he wasn't breaking his vows because it was purely physical and not an actual emotional attachment. Which like. Lol. Sure dude.

And that's what I have so far! Working on the more complex political plots as I outline the fic, trying for a sort of political thriller Andor-ish vibe. Excited to share with the class once I have a couple chapters written up! 🙂‍↕️🫡

[ilyannarozanova]

Just finished the outline for my first longish hr fic and am already frothing at the mouth to start planning a new one 🙂‍↕️ here are my current ideas what would y'all wanna see?? i am equally attached to all these concepts but only have time for one (tragic)

Pick ur poison 🫡

Star Wars AU with Jedi Shane and rebel pilot Ilya

Realistic nuclear apocalypse roadtrip survival thriller

X-Files/paranormal investigators AU

Voting ended onMay 29

[ilyannarozanova]

Star Wars AU it is!! 🙂‍↕️