Bruce broke his foot (again) and now someone needs to fill in as Batman. Who's donning the cowl and who's making calls to get off the planet so they don't have to do it?
Bruce: Casting calls are now live.
Duke, nervously getting onstage: Hi.
Duke: M-my name is Duke Thomas and I'm auditioning for the role of Batman.
Bruce: Show me what you got.
Duke: *clears his throat*
Duke, reading from a script: "Stop right there, Joker! Your days of evildoing have come to a—"
Duke: Actually, I have some notes. From a writer's standpoint, this reads less like the Dark Knight and more like a 60s sitcom.
Selina: What better person to be Batman than the woman who has him wrapped around her finger?
Bruce: You know that's not how it works.
Selina: I've been practicing my quick change so I can be both of us in one fight. Come on, Bat. Can't bend the rules for the love of your life?
Bruce: I love you, but next!
Tim: I'm auditioning for the non-dictator Batman.
Bruce: Not taking any chances. Next!
Cassandra: *flips onstage in a series of elaborate acrobatics*
Cassandra: *beats the training dummy*
Bruce: Impressive. Now, I'll give you a scenario and you act it out as if you're Batman, okay?
Bruce: A lost child walks up to you. What's the first thing you say?
Cassandra: You will make an excellent Robin.
Bruce: Yes—I mean, no. No. Next person, please.
Dick: I don't get why I have to audition. I mean, I was Batman.
Bruce: Hm, you're right. Let's give someone else a turn. Next!
Jason, in an improvised costume: I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...
Stephanie: Can I try out?
Bruce: Sure, why not. Let's say you're negotiating a hostage situation. What do you say?
Stephanie: I'll give you Bruce Wayne's credit card if you let these people go.
Barbara: I have programmed an advanced speaker system that will project your grunt from every gargoyle in the city.
Bruce: Grunting doesn't send people to Arkham. Next!
Bruce: Last one left is Kate.
Kate: Don't look at me, I'm just trying to find my keys.
Bruce, groaning: Patrol's in an hour. How am I gonna find a replacement?
Alfred: Master Bruce, perhaps I can substitute for you on the field.
Bruce: Thanks for offering, but I can't let you put yourself in danger like that.
Alfred: Then might I suggest, as Ms. Kyle said, bending one of your rules?
Joker: With a push of a button, I'm going to send this entire street sky high!
Clark dressed as Batman: Not if I can help it.
Joker: What is this, some sort of flying device?
Clark: Some changes were made.
Diana, dressed as Batman: Like this.
Diana: *lassoes the Joker*
Joker: There's two of you?!?
Ollie, dressed as Batman, perched on a gargoyle: A little more than that.
Dinah, dressed as Batman: And we have some new tricks up our sleeve. Like this.
Arthur, dressed as Batman, bursting from the sewer: And this.
Arthur: *catches Joker in a whirlpool*
Hal, dressed as Batman, pointing his ring: And this.
Hal: *traps Joker in a ball*
J'onn, dressed as Batman: May I?
Zatanna, dressed as Batman: I want in too.
Hal: Okay, all of us on the count of three.
Everyone: *bounces Joker back to Arkham*
Barry, dressed as Batman: *runs in late*
Barry: Aw man, I missed it!
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