I'm Not Dr. Phil but I'm Real!

My friends say I give the best relationship advice which lead me to start a blog. I will give my opinion mixed with facts about relationship advice/tips! Key to it. Give an unbiased opinion and keep your emotions out of your opinion!

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Closure

I've never received Closure in a relationship! I wonder why 🤔

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

This Heart is "Mufuckin Tired!"

I guess I thought that seeing/hearing a man die before my eyes was the worst emotionally pain I'd have ever experienced but it wasn't. As I sit in a house that I share with a Man who claims he loves every part of me feels unappreciated & empty. That's the worst pain of all to me for a person to treat you like your Non-Existent. I don't believe in the saying " If you love something let it go & it will come back!" If I love something I don't want to let it go because my heart cant flip flop. I believe in fighting for the things I want not running from them. I've had my heart broken time & time again and honestly Love never worked in my favor. I've been ignored, lied to, taken advantage of, used, disrespected & more and I'm supposed to believe that's Love (chuckle) sounds more like Hate. I'm not just speaking of relationships I'm speaking of family & friendships as well. How can you laugh with me one minute & the next minute your doing something to hurt me? That's not love in my interpretation. I officially don't believe in love. Love has failed me & it would be insane for me to keep trying it. I don't want to forgive people for hurting me .. I don't want them to hurt me from the start. I don't want to ignore the fact people lie to me. I don't want to bite my tongue when I don't like what people say to me. I'm not afraid or bitter but I am realistic. How much longer should I pretend that it's ALL GOOD! How many chances do I have to give? How many failures before success this is my heart, my emotions & my life and I refuse to live for the gamble. Happiness, Peace & Freedom is what my heart longs for. I no longer care for the attachment. After all the pain, hurt & false hope this Heart is "Mufuckin Tired"

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Self Love

When you constantly get hurt & disappointed by people it's then when you begin to love yourself fully & understand that people should only add to your joy and not take away from it. You begin to recognize your mistakes and things that you should've paid more attention to. Life is About Living (even through struggles) but if another soul is taking away from your energy & growth process they must be eliminated without 2nd thought! You hold the key to how people consistently treat you. Self Love is the foundation for any other love!

[written-on-polaroids]

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Forgiveness!

The only way to stop your constant hurt and pain is to stop repetitiously forgiving the person who caused your hurt and pain. I’m not saying not to forgive but stop giving chances to people that make you feel down, hurt and sad. People are fully aware of their actions and if they aren’t then they need the mental help to help them understand their actions. 

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

How does one stand out online in a sea of messages women get and any advice on approaching women in public going about they business and how did you met your significant other

The Best Way to stand out it to just be yourself! If your interested in a woman online look at pictures & hobbies and see where the similar interest are between you 2. Ask her to see her favorite band. Notice the things the other Men don't take notice in. The small things count most. Meeting someone in person is all about vibes... eye contact.. body language.. Always remember to play it cool. Don't over talk, over look.. I met my mate in person when my car broke down he was working at the auto repair parts store. Hope this helps.

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

are you engaged or in relationship?

In a relationship

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Don't Hate The Side Chick

Most people shuns the Side Chick but they may be forgetting something... Did she wake up & say "I'm going to be a Side Chick?" Most likely not. It's so crazy how now it's a given for a woman to have a side man & for a man to have a side woman. First things first most people that desire more than one partner is usually out of unhappiness in their relationship they are lacking the full happiness they desire in their relationship. The side chick is not the most horrible person in my opinion.. Know Why? She is playing it safe. Society never thought the Woman would get tired? There are so many double standards in what Men are Allowed to vs What Women Can Do. In my personal opinion "Side Chicks" are damaged goods & are settling for 2nd or its a safety zone for them. They think by dating someone that tells you he has someone that he won't cheat with multiple other people. She has guarded her feelings. She has adapted to "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man!" Mentality. We as women can't do what Men can do it's not the same & that's the truth of the matter. She has been hurt, lied to, stood up, cheated on, abused, disrespected and more so she got sick & tired . She started playing by her rules and now she is in control & her feelings are guarded because she knows what it is & what it's going to be. "She's Safe. She's Happy!" Now I'm not saying that every side chick is this way but after talking to many different women or different races/ages the concept is the same. There are some woman who blatantly don't give a fuck. They like competition they don't care who is in their way.. They want what they want by any means & doesn't care about the consequences. We only see things as good & bad based on our perceptions of them or what we have been taught. Is it cheating if an unmarried person has sex with another person even though they're in a gf/bf relationship? Most of us think yes but guess what .. I've personally been taught that "Your Friends Until You Get Married?" so I may think that it's acceptable to have more than 1 partner at a time. You may not think so & this is not to support "The Side Chick!" this is however a think about before you pass Judgment on anyone! People do what works for them & if your slacking on making your man happy or denying him sex trust me the next woman is waiting. We can decrease side chicks if we communicate in our relationships & fix the issues that are constantly arising instead of keep sweeping them under the rug & running away from them. Save yourself so that you don't become damaged goods & you won't lack the internal happiness you need to want to play it safe or guard your feelings. Love is beautiful thing but people don't make it the easiest!

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

If You Have Something Good Fight For It!

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Are You Ready?!?

Are you ready to fully commit? What about fully sacrifice? Would you hold your mate down if they are down? Do you trust another with your mind & body? Are you ready to love unconditionally? Are you willing to consider another's feelings? If your answer is NO to any of these then your not READY for a relationship!!

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Motivated To Write!

Time to get back to Love!! Stay tuned for more post!

[forgottenfeeelings]

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

22 Year Old Virgin

The best part of my days is meeting new people and hearing their stories. I promise I am a human tape recorder and the joy is that people open up and tell me some of their most intimate details which brings up this story. 

Today I was at work and I'm helping a customer (total stranger) he starts telling me that he is 22 years old and never had a girlfriend, never been on a date and has had minimal conversation with females other than family. I  was appalled. The young man came off as very intelligent,decent looking and wore glasses but he did not come off as confident.He came off as timid/push over. He lived a very sheltered life he was home schooled but he is now in college.

My advice to him was "BE CONFIDENT". I learned early when it comes to the law of attraction you have to be confident inside and out. You have to own who you are in order to draw people to you. He tells me that he is confident but I am telling him that I don't see that outwardly. I think that his intelligence knows the right words to say but his body language reads something totally different. Body language speaks volumes about your confidence level. I also told him to hang out in places where like minded women are so he may mingle. I also told him to try "Online Dating" he said he did that. Everything I named...He said he had done that..The sad part is he said most women he goes to school with has kids and even the ones he meets online has kids. The best advice I did give this young man was to "Be Yourself!" no matter what don't change who you are to draw people to you, the right person will come along and be exactly what you need and want.

For once I didn't have the answers.. I am coming to you all.. What do you suggest this young man do to at least get a date? Could it be his approach ? His Look? His Confidence? Is he going for what he can't handle/ready for? I would love to hear your input on this.

[imnotdrphilbutimreal]

Perfect Stranger turned Perfect Lover!

We all have a Dream Person in Mind but we may not always end up with the person we dream of & I have yet to find that one but I have been sent something that is new, exciting & powerful. It’s changing me for the best.

I tell my guy all the time that this is all new to me & I tell him how perfect he is & He asks “how is it different than the others? ” This is the diff approach I took with him & not the others. 10 Ways I found it easier to Love/Be In A Relationship! 1) I didn’t look for it.. It was sent to me 2) I opened my heart, my mind & my body willing to receive all of a Mate 3) I’m optimistic & positive 4) We communicate without judging 5) We don’t pick out each others flaws but we embrace them & help fix them the best way 6) I gave him Control 7) I listen instead of talk 8) I observe but am not afraid 9) I stop being Selfish & am learning to be more understanding 10) I want it & I know I want it (Certainty) There are some of these steps that I changed in my personal growth but that tied together but they all helped me have a better relationship. Many are hurt from the past so that have their guards up but that’s the worst thing you can do. When you put your guard up you are blocking a potential “Prince Charming!” There is also something very important that I did… I accepted a different image. I used to only date Dark Skin Guys with Locs that’s what I was attracted to, I had to go with how one treated me not their look. This brother has been consistent, I haven't had to remind him of anything, he listens, he asks things that he wants to know & accepts all answers, he surprises me, even though I'm busy he makes to see me whether before work, after work or my off days, he makes me smile with kind words & most of all he is a gentlemen. I've never had all the combinations in one but I embrace it I feel amazing. No one is perfect but he is Perfection to me! They say Love lasts a lifetime & though I’m not in love, I’m open to receive love & I’m sure it will be breathtaking.