imogenfere

[nilim]

Ok, so I was reading this news story:

So far so normal, right? But then:

Like what. And then:

Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist. 

[panicblanket]

well would you look at that

[autisticexpression]

One of the best posts

[bunjywunjy]

Also best not to pet sharks without gloves. Their skin can really tear up ours with lots of petting.

yeah, this is what sharkskin looks like under a microscope:

it’s covered with tiny interlocking teeth that form a one-way-only surface! petting a shark the wrong way will literally make you bleed, which is still never a thing you want to do if you are in the water with a shark.

(yes, those are literally teeth-sharks ended up evolving a skin covering completely separate from the scales that bony fish ran with and they did it by mutating the teeth out of their fucking mouths and over their entire surface area)

[runcibility]

Being internet-shitpost-aware means that you know damn well that this post is a dread summoning spell

[novicecomics-personal]

[krystal-prisms]

Amazing how they still manage to be perfectly smooth while covered in literal teeth

[toastbutteregg]

[taskmastercaps]

[ID: Nine screencaps from Taskmaster. Asim Chaudhry sits at a table in a white room, with a balloon shark floating nearby. He reads out a task that says, “Write down as many obscure animals as possible.” While writing, he says aloud, “Blue dog. Three-eyed raven. Anorexic elephant. Eight-bollock cat. Laser… beam… turtle.” Later, Liza Tarbuck and Tim Vine sit on a sofa while Asim stands in front of them. Liza reads out a task that says, “Guess the animals that your team-mate has on their list. Your team-mate must only use mime.” Asim strokes his beard with a look of dawning regret. End ID.]

[ashidaii]

I want Venom 2 to start off with a peppy song playing while Eddie makes breakfast or something. It should have visual gags such as Venom opening the fridge for him to retrieve eggs while he’s at the stove to show how their relationship has developed between the first and second movie and how they really are in sync and in a mutualistic symbiosis thanks

[tryclops]

[sosuperawesome]

Embroidered Polaroids

Mmiddleewc on Etsy

[kawuli]

Can we make “They eradicated smallpox, Nigel” the next “Harold they’re lesbians”?

like for antivaxxers or something?

[springfieldusa]

[justinpie]

holy shit marge

[meltedgarment]

In that order really too…

[lierdumoa]

Can’t stress enough that when we say “The LGBT community lost an entire generation to AIDS” this isn’t an abstract statement. We literally lost gay and trans Boomers **specifically**. They were the generation that was of “clubbing age” during the onset of the epidemic.

[alwaysbewoke]

[alwaysbewoke]

[exeggcute]

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[exeggcute]

can you imagine.

[esrah-rah-rasputin]

Also a thing to note that’s a part of this bit: the man in the interview can pretty much play the whole thing from memory. Like... everyone just plays the thing by heart but pretty much all of them hate it.

[hackerfucker]

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

OH MY GOD

[funnytwittertweets]

[evermore-fashion]

Favourite Designs: Paolo Sebastian ‘Gilded Wings’ Fall 2016 Haute Couture Collection

[annabellehectorworldofweird]

[degenerita]

Synchronized clucks

[bluebeetle]

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

[do-what-i-yoinky]

Being on tumblr for years like:

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺