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Summary: When Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody was taken into care Smurf pulled some strings and got him put in a place close to Oceanside. That place was with you and your parents. Something Smurf would later regret when she realised that the bond you and Andrew forged in the month he was there was never going away. The years went by and the older boy became your best friend. Your protector. Your person. Fast forward and when Andrew gets out of prison he finds out Smurf’s hatred for you has gone to a whole other level.
Pairing: Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody x reader
Warnings: smut, angst, violence, protective Andrew, slightly toxic Andrew, friends with benefits, mentions of murder.
a/n: Again I can't thank everyone enough who has given any feedback, likes or reblogs for this series. And the taglist has grown! Thank you for reading and I really hope you continue to enjoy as I'm having so much fun writing this. This part starts us going into Season 2. It felt like one of the things that I needed to include in the series. Definitely getting more towards angst here but hoping I got some fun stuff in here too. Enjoy and please continue to let me know what you think. p.s Im learning that protective angry Andrew Pope Cody is like... my favourite thing.
You knew it was bad when he had clearly let himself into your apartment. You knew it was really bad when you woke up and he was just sat in the chair he’d placed beside the window for you to read in.
He’d turned it to face the bed.
Not the first time and certainly wouldn’t be the last he’d watched you sleep.
The worst part? As you said his name sleepily he didn’t look at you. Just stared ahead. Your heart was racing instantly. What had he done? What had they made him do?
“Andrew?” You say in that special voice reserved for him as you slide out of bed to walk over to him but still his eyes don’t move from where they’re fixed on your floor. Now that you’re closer you can see they’re red rimmed. He’d been crying. No, he’d been sobbing. You fall to your knees trying to get yourself in his eye line but his eyes are dissociated and your own fill with tears.
He had kept taking the medication. Smurf had admitted it was her. Of course she had, it was obvious both you and Andrew knew. The spiteful bitch had even told him to ‘do it for her.’ Convinced him three years away meant you weren’t going to be able to take him unmedicated. You had of course told him how ridiculous that was.
Smurf wanted him on the medication, pliant, so she could continue to fuck him up.
“Andrew, what happened?” You take his face in your hand. Notice how when you take his hand in yours it doesn’t move at all but its smooth, red like he’d scrubbed them with something too harsh. “Fuck..”
You press against him, resting your forehead against his. Not sure what else to do but be there. “It’s okay.” You whisper but you cringe inside. It definitely wasn’t okay. Smurf has probably made him do some barbaric shit and it definitely wasn’t okay.
He finally broke, a heavy sob leaving him as he buried his face in your chest, moving to your neck and back like whatever guilt wrecking him made him incapable of staying still any longer. He didn’t speak. Neither did you, as it often worked in these situations. You just cooed words of comfort. Your heart breaking. Hating Smurf for putting him in this position. For putting you in this position.
Just that morning you’d been laughing with him. You’d woken up to a flat tire and hadn’t immediately remembered that you could just call him again. So you did.
He’d answered straight away even though it was 7am.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” You’d said smiling. “Are you busy?”
“Kinda…” He said and you could hear Baz in the background. “Why… are you okay?”
“Yeah. It’s okay. Just a flat tire and I thought I’d make the most of my favourite mechanic being free again but it doesn’t matter.”
“Ahh… shit.” You could tell he was torn. If he was with Baz it was probably some kind of job. “Erm…” You could tell he was planning. Probably working out timings in his mind.
“Hey, it’s fine I just thought I’d see if you were free. I can figure it out, don’t worry.” You say because how hard can it be? He’d never let you change a tire in your life. He knew that.
“No…” He says sounding annoyed but you know it’s not at you. “Fuck…”
“Andrew it’s fi…”
“Give me ten.” He says before just putting down the phone. You roll your eyes.
When he approaches your car just over eight minutes later pulling open the driver door he’s wearing combat pants with a zip jacket over the top. Your eyes trail from his pants up to the blank expression on his face, with a smirk. He holds out his hand to you, his own lips upturning ever so slightly.
“Should I even ask?” You say as he pulls you out of your car. One of his arms rests on the top of the door and his body corners you in. You can’t help your chest fluttering slightly as he leans his head down, close enough to speak quietly and you still hear the soft rumble.
“Nope.” He says before pushing away and getting to work on your tire. “I’ll just have to put the spare on for now.” He says from inside your trunk. “Just drive slower. I’ll replace it tomorrow.” He easily lifts the tire from the boot and you wish he wasn’t wearing the jacket.
“It’s fine. I’ll drop by somewhere on the way home from wo…” You’re interrupted by him getting in your space again. His eye’s are playful and you want nothing more than to take him into your apartment… or backseat… and just about anywhere. And of course he knows it.
“I said I’ll replace it.” His voice is soft but the undertone of certainty makes your knees weak.
You bite your lip to stop from grinning and his eyes light up as he works on changing your flat.
Of course, he see’s how flustered you are and his jaw tightens as he looks away from you.
“Don’t.” He says roughly. “Don’t look at me like that right now, okay?”
Somehow his reaction makes you even worse and you literally have to take a breath and turn away from him for a second as you call work to tell them you’ll be a little late.
He see’s the effort you’re putting into calming yourself and it’s killing him.
He finishes the job in record time, slamming your spare tire in and securing the flat in your trunk.
“Thank you for this.” You smile softly now, feeling more sentimental now at having him back again.
He just nods running his hand over his head.”No problem.” His voice is strained as his eyes zero in on your lips, in a way that only Pope could make look good. Dazed like he didn’t realise he was doing it but heated enough for you to know exactly what he was thinking.
You wondered if this was just how it was with you guys now.
You hoped so. You grinned and couldn’t stop yourself from stepping closer to him, playful look in your eyes as you slowly pulled down the zipper of his jacket to see what he was wearing underneath. As the zipper slowly went lower it revealed a tight dark green t-shirt underneath.
“What’s under here?” You say.
“Don’t” Hey says again. Softer this time. “I’m serious I can’t…” He falters, his puppy dog eyes looking like he almost breaks. “Fuck…”
“Okay…” You take pity and hold up your hands, taking a step back. “Sorry.” But you’re grinning.
“You’re not sorry.” He steps forward backing you against the car door, his hand bracing on the roof as he looks down at you.
“You’re right I’m not.” You lean up and leave a lingering kiss on his cheek. “Go on. I’m sure Baz is calling me every name under the sun.”
“He wouldn’t dare, sweetheart.” He says as his face moves within an inch of yours and your face tips up, wanting a kiss but you hear the car door click open and feel him pull it. It effectively just pushes you closer into him and you almost whimper when he moves back, pulling you to get in the car.
He laughs as you all but pout at him through the open window. “Go on.” He directs obviously wanting to see you drive away, make sure the tires okay. “Easy on corners.” He shouts as you reverse onto the road.
You salute him and the last thing you saw was him watching you drive away, shaking his head as he smiled.
Not the man clinging to you now.
The man his own Mother and family made him.
You don’t know how long he stayed that way. Not saying a word. Just crying.
Then he pulls away, snaps his head back as he abruptly wipes away his tears, almost hitting himself. You try to pull his hands down. Try to give him softness but he won’t let you.
He never lets you when he’s like this.
“I’ve got to go.” He says standing up and walking out ignoring you shouting out his name.
You had stopped asking him to leave this life a couple years before he ended up in prison.
Couldn’t leave his family.
Couldn’t make you have to put up with him forever. Still so convinced one day you might give up on him. Knew it wasn’t personal. Just almost subconscious to him to expect people to leave.
That you’d realise he actually is the freak, the monster Smurf makes him believe he is. Shoo him away like an animal they eventually got sick of.
All these years and he still wouldn’t let you give him the life he deserves.
Because he only thinks he deserves this. Pain. Blood. Violence.
But how much longer could you do this?
Watch the man you loved be dragged further and further down.
The man you were in love with.
The realisation hit you just as hard as the message you received from Baz a couple of hours later.
Baz:
Have you seen Cath?
You didn’t want the dots to connect. You couldn’t make the dots connect. It didn’t make sense but you’d long ago learned that nothing made sense where Smurf was involved.
You:
Why would I have seen her?
Maybe she’s run away to join your secret other family?
Keep it normal.
You and Cath weren’t friends. Never had been anything other than civil. She’d followed Andrew around when you were kids and resented how close you were. Had tried everything she could to make him be how he was with you, with her. It had never worked of course and so a childish resentment grew into adulthood indifference. Cath moved onto Baz before he’d even fully broken Julia’s heart.
You hated Baz.
Baz:
Don’t have time for your shit.
I’m worried about her.
You don’t reply and try to call Andrew again. He’d been gone for the whole morning. You’d called in sick to work and were so close to driving over to see if he was at the house but something told you to keep out of it.
If you were right. This was way deeper shit than anything you’d ever been involved in before.
You message him.
You:
Are you okay?
Andrew:
Don’t worry about me.
See you tonight.
Just like Andrew to act like nothing had happened.
When you answer the door to him that night he can tell instantly that this time you won’t let it go. He follows you into the kitchen where he sees the glass of wine on the table. He just stands there rigidly on the other side of the kitchen as you sit down and look at him.
He looks away. You know that he knows something is wrong. He always knows just with one look.
“I need you to be honest with me Andrew.”
His hands are shaking and the silence stretches too long before he finally looks at you face hollow and eyes tired.
He looks broken.
“Please don’t ask me that question.” He knows you know. He can see it in your eyes and he can’t take it.
You know in that instant he’s done it. He killed her. You go cold. “Andrew…” your voice is shaking.
“She was speaking to the cops…” His voice cracks, his eyes pleading but you’re not sure what he’s pleading for… forgiveness? That wasn’t yours to give. “She was going to ruin everything…”
“Smurf told you that?” You ask looking at him sadly.
He doesn’t answer verbally, just one sharp nod. He looks shattered, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. His mother had manipulated him using the family, using prison, using his greatest fear - losing you. Leaving you again. “She said… she said she was working with them. They were gonna put me away again.” His chest is heaving. “I couldn’t leave you… and then…”
You can’t ever remember a time you hadn’t instantly gone to his side when he was in this state but you couldn’t stomach the thought of you him doing it with you being even part of the reason.
“Fuck… Andrew.” You cry now, head bowed in your hands as you’re frozen in the dining chair. A million different scenarios running through your mind. Feeling guilty as fuck that the scariest one was him getting caught.
Seeing you cry he crosses the kitchen frantically, falls to his knees in front of you, reminiscent of the way you had just this morning. “Please…” He begs brokenly, his forehead falling to your knee. “Please don’t cry…” he murmurs. “Please don’t look at me like that.” His shoulders shake as he silently sobs and you instinctively go to rub them but you don’t. “You’re the only one… the only one who’s not scared of me.”
Your hands fall from your face, tears streaming. “Andrew… I can’t do this anymore.”
Because you can’t. You can’t keep watching this shit show.
He freezes, his body going rigid before he pulls back slowly, eyes wide with desperation.
“No…no…no… You can’t leave me.”
All you see in front of you is a worried, scared boy wanting so desperately to be loved and your heart cracks. “Fuck…” You pull him to stand up along with you. “We need to leave.”
You’d been here before. He’d always said no. Too loyal to his family. Too convinced you deserved more.
“I can’t.” He wonders if you’d asked him that this morning would he have gone. Probably. “Not now.”
“Not ever.” You say brokenly. You step away from him and finish your glass of wine. “You know Andrew, I have loved you since I was thirteen years old.” You walk past him to lean on one of the counters.”Maybe younger.” You laugh. “I always will. I’m not going anywhere without you. But I can’t keep watching her do this to you.”
He just stands there looking at the floor, eyes full of guilt.
Your heart breaks for him. For all of her victims but something feels different about Cath. You knew Pope had a soft spot for Lena. And probably as much as you never wanted to admit it to yourself… a little one for Cath too.
This was different. You weren’t sure he would ever really get over this one.
He needed to get away from all the bullshit. After all this time you finally felt defeated.
Still he says nothing.
For the first time you don’t know what to do. What to say.
“Just go, Andrew.” You sigh. You’d never done this before and you see him flinch like a knife was twisting. “I just need some space…” You reassure but it doesn’t help.
“I’m not good enough for you.” He says sadly. “I never have been. I don’t des…”
“Who are you to decide what I deserve, Andrew?!” You raise your voice at him, not a common occurrence but you need to get through to him.
He stares at you, just processing. The fear of you pulling away overwhelming him. “Okay.” He breaths out. You notice his fingers twitching nervously at his side as his head dips. “I’ll… I’ll go.”
You have you clench your jaw, gripping your wine glass to stop yourself running over and pulling him into your arms.
And he just leaves. Locking the door behind him, of course.
You cry…
And you cry…
You eventually finish your wine and really wish you had more.
Fuck it.
You grab your bag and stumble slightly putting on your shoes. You would never do this sober. Andrew obviously forked out for a better area but it was still Oceanside at… you look at the clock on the wall beside the picture of you and Andrew when you were twenty one… nearly eleven o’clock.
You shrug and leave the house. It’s only a 5 minute walk you tell yourself. What’s the worst that could happen.
You’re walking home, only just past the shop. The chill in the air having sobered you up slightly and you began to regret the decision the second you hear footsteps behind you.
You speed up but so do they. You turn seeing a figure behind you, a glint of silver in his hand and you instantly start running. Hearing them getting closer you scream, the bottle of wine forgotten smashes all over the floor.
Everything feels like a blur as you think this is it.
Andrew is going to be alone.
The pounding of feet getting closer and closer.
You spot the headlights approaching and run into the road but the cars already on it’s way to you, turning at the very last minute to meet you. The car has barely stopped when the drivers side opens next to you and Andrew steps out. Face like thunder.
He unceremoniously grabs you as you crash into him and all but throws you into the car before slamming the door. You manage to crawl clumsily over to the passenger side just in time to see Andrew dodge the knife, slipping behind the man. He grabs the wrist of the arm that holds the knife and grips the top of his arm before shifting his body harshly, you can hear the crack as your attacker screams and drops the knife.
It doesn’t end there.
Andrew tackles the man on to the ground, forearm pressing into his neck as his head bounces off the sidewalk. You don’t gasp, you don’t even blink. You’d seen Andrew like this before, of course you had. Sometimes over the stupidest things but you were genuinely scared he was going to kill this man.
A flash of Cath entered your head. You flinched. How had he done it? Why were you wondering for the first time? You’d known he killed people before. Maybe because you knew her?
Maybe because it could have been you?
No.
Smurf would love you to think that way. You pushed open the passenger side and stepped out shouting Andrews name. He had been saying something to the man when you stepped out.
He turns to you. His eye’s don’t soften as he looks over to you, fist in the air dripping with blood. He suddenly looked panicked instead of enraged. Thinking about what could have happened to you.
One final well landed punch and he walks back over to the car.
“Get in.” He says harshly. You know he’s mad at you when you get into his truck and the only sound are his heaving breaths. He says nothing as the engine roars and makes the short journey to your apartment.
“How did you…?” You start quietly.
“Don’t you fucking dare ask me questions right now.” His voice is dangerously low. His hands are shaking on the wheel, white knuckled and bloody.
You want to argue, you really do but you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this angry. Especially at you but he had seen the knife, played through every possible stupid position you could have put yourself in.
He pulls up outside your apartment and as soon as the cars stopped you go to get out, thinking he won’t want to be around you.
“Don’t fucking move.” His voice stops you cold. He gets out and slams the door, walking quickly to your side, still shaking with anger when he opens your door. He grabs your arm and pulls you out roughly into his chest. “Do you have any idea…” he can’t even finish his sentence, his eyes squeezing shut at what ever thoughts he’s having.
You try to pull your arm back but can’t, he’s never hurt you intentionally and you know he won’t now but you’re not about to let him man handle you so much.
He practically drags you inside, slamming the door behind you both. The moment the lock clicks, his hand is on your throat as he pushes you against the door, not squeezing, just there, pressing lightly against your pulse. Almost as though he needs to feel it to know you’re safe. His thumb strokes over your racing heartbeat, his own ragged breathing harsh against your ear.
“Don’t you ever. Ever. Fucking do that again.”
You want to argue. Tell him that you weren’t in the wrong here. The fault lay with the man who had chased you with a knife but you knew deep down Andrew knew that. He just needed some control so you stay quiet for now.
Especially when you feel his shaking hand grab hold of your hip. You see fear in his eyes now that the adrenaline is wearing off and he doesn’t know what to do with it.
The tears fall, silent and heavy down his cheeks as the hand on your throat begins to tremble, realising how close he’d come to loosing you. The fear of that, the anger at himself for not being there sooner, it breaks him completely. For a second time that night.
You’re still mad at him and want to tell him that this is exactly how you feel every time he’s injured on one of his stupid jobs but you know it’s not the time.
“Shh…” You wipe his tears softly. “We’re okay.” It’s a statement as you know this is probably a combination of the events before and the horrific event after it.
His breath hitches. Then he lifts you like a child would a comfort blanket when they’re upset, into his arms and walks you to your bedroom before gently lowering you both onto your bed. He doesn’t let go, just holds you like a lifeline.
“Need you…” You hear him murmur, his hand, knuckles bloody inching under your t shirt to stroke your lower stomach.
Your body instantly reacts, also needing to feel that closeness with him and within a minute you’re both naked. Sideways on the bed, too desperate to move before he spreads your legs wide.
He enters you with his hand still caressing your knee as he holds it up before his hand trails down your calf to guide around his hips. Your moans meet on each others lips as he slowly starts to move inside you. Grinding deep inside you, like he wants to be as deep as physically possible. As close to you as physically possible.
His forearms are on either side of your head, one hand holding the back of your head and the other pushing back your hair from your forehead as he watches you. He’s completely caging you in and your nails scratch gently on his rib cage.
His pace increases as he leaves wet kisses all over you jaw and neck, the top of your head hitting the hands cradling it. It feels more tender than anything you’ve ever experienced with him and the ache from where you’re connected extends to your chest.
“Don’t leave me…” he moans on a whisper, over and over in a way you’re not even sure he’s aware of.
You knew it had so many meanings. Because of what you now knew. Because of how close you’d come to harm. How close he thought you were to being done.
You grip the back of his neck to pull him in closer. “I love you.” You pledge. You don’t think too hard about it. You just need him to know.
He moans your name as you already start pulsing around his cock.
“Come on.” He moans. “Please.” The quiver in his voice and the way he’s starting to tense, grabbing softly at your hair means you know he’s coming right along side you.
And he does, panting and moaning as an he comes inside you. Watching him come only intensifies your climax and even as he starts to come down, cock starting to soften you’re still wantonly rocking up into him. Your pussy pulsing, the aftershocks somewhere on that fine line between too sensitive and not enough. You whimper.
“Want do you need, sweetheart?” His voice is soft, adoring, laced with lust still. You open your eyes. Hadn’t realised they were squeezed shut.
He doesn’t pull out, presses his hips down harder as he watches you with heavy lidded eyes.
“I need…” You can’t think straight, right on the edge. He see’s how sensitive you are, always knew what you need and without even thinking he pushes his thumb into your mouth. Even though your brain is fully occupied you know to suck, make it wet and he pushes himself up slightly to move his hand down between you.
You gasp at the way he knows your body better than yourself sometimes, his thumb rubbing the perfect pressure on your swollen clit. He stays buried inside you, half hard, giving you something to grind against. He watches your face, transfixed as your mouth falls open and eyes roll back.
“That’s it.” His voice is hoarse and the moment he leans down, lips closing around your sensitive nipple, tongue flicking and laving, you’re gone.
As you come again around his sensitive cock, feeling his wetness leak out of you, you hear him murmur “thank you, sweetheart…” in a low and possessive voice. You swear you nearly pass out as he gently strokes you through it.
He ruts against you taking in every sound you make, ever tremor of your body, committing it all to memory. When you finally calm down, he’s breathing just as heavy as you with his forehead resting against your collarbone, pressing lazy kisses there.
His thumb still strokes gentle circles against your clit almost soothingly until the oversensitiveness makes you whimper and squirm.
“Sorry.” He moves his hand away and pulls out of you with a groan but he stays on top of you. The atmosphere instantly switches, the weight of everything making him feel heavier on top of you. Bracing himself in-between your legs he slowly, almost nervously looks up at you. His eyes.
Those damn eyes. You can see everything he’s thinking. Every fear.
He’s expecting you to tell him to leave, push him away. You sigh sadly.
“Don’t think so hard, handsome.” You tell him softly, in that voice. You feel him instantly relax. His face pressing into your neck.
And just like that you’re back to normal. You hate it but love it. You know you’ll never be able to get him to leave. So you’ll take the bad with good.
Even if there’s a niggle in the back of your mind. How bad will you accept?
You both shower together. Not really speaking. Not wanting to ruin anything.
He holds you tightly against him that night. Stroking your hair, not willing to not have you in his arms at any point and when you nuzzle into him he tells you softly. "You're safe." "I've got you." "No one's ever gonna hurt you." And you believe. Just like always.
You have no reason not to.
Here you were again playing house.
The kind of house he would never let you have.
Time passed.
Andrews hair grew.
So did his resentment for Smurf.
Cath had been a turning point. Leaving Lena motherless had been a turning point.
The secret he was keeping from the child and his Brother slowly eating at him.
You became an unofficial babysitter for Lena, who despite her shitty paternal DNA was the best kid you’d ever met. You would do anything of her.
You didn’t think too deeply about how much of it was guilt that you knew her Mom’s fate. Guilt that you loved the man who murdered her Mom.
Andrew was getting ice cream while you sat with Lena. She’d spent over an hour on the swings and you’d alternated between pushing her, not that she needed it and staying beside Andrew watching her. Your heart aching at the scene. Another future that stays lost behind the fog in your mind whenever you let yourself imagine it.
“I like Uncle Pope.” Lena says, her small frame relaxed in one of the chairs in the seating area. The sun lighting up her face as she smiles. It’s not a full smile, you notice.
“Yeah?” You ask with a soft smile. “Why’s that?”
“He takes me to the beach.” She says simply. Such a child like response you have to fight past the tightening of your throat.
“I think he’d do just about anything for you, honey.” You smile over at her.
“He would for you too.”
“You think so?” You raise your eyebrows, this kid was switched on. You’d not met her since she was a toddler, before Andrew went to prison but the second Andrew introduced you both again. As Auntie no less, you could tell she was special.
“Daddy said it’s cos Uncle Pope is so far up your as…”
“Woahh…” You interrupt her abruptly. “Lena.” You say laughing along with her when she starts giggling. “You don’t repeat everything adults say, okay?”
Andrew comes over at that moment, one of his small smiles as he watches you both and places the ice cream onto the table.
“What?” He asks.
“We’re just talking about how much she likes coming to the beach with Uncle Pope.” You say to him with a twinkle in your eye at the way he lights up slightly.
You knew it was fucked up. There was a constant truth nudging at the back of your mind when you were around her, a deep sadness and you knew Andrew must be feeling the same way. Ten fold.
His phone vibrates and he pulls it out, face dropping instantly. You knew straight away it was something to do with Smurf.
“Smurf.” He echoed your thoughts. “Making meatloaf. Wants us there for seven.”
“Her meatloaf sucks.” You say without missing a beat. Any chance to insult her but smirking at a specific memory of when she was insulted that you didn’t eat it one night when you were a teen. Piling it on Andrew’s plate.
It had caused a huge argument which resulted in Andrew sleeping at your house. Your parents always welcoming of him. Which Smurf hated, of course.
You knew it wasn’t about the meatloaf.
From under his lashes he fixes you with a stern look for Lena’s benefit but softened by the hint of your shared private amusement. You wondered when this man would lose the ability to give you butterflies.
Lena giggle again, mouth full of ice cream before asking if you could come too. You’re about to let her down gently when Andrew speaks first.
“Yeah, sure she can. Means I get extra meatloaf.” He jokes in that dry way of his.
You look over at him confused. You never came to those things anymore. No need to piss Smurf off anymore than necessary but it seemed he now wanted it to be known you were a permanent fixture.
Like the statement of calling you Auntie to Lena. Little ways he was trying to make you aware he was trying. Slowly but surely.
“Come on. You can keep Lena company.” He stands, you and Lena follow his lead, both grabbing your ice cream and your breath catches as you feel her little hand reach to hold your free one.
He ushers you both to the car, not letting either of you in the Jeep with the ice cream so you both tease him as you finish it.
You take them the empty pots to the trash whilst he buckles Lena in and when you walk back he’s holding open the door for you to get in. Once you have you go to reach for your seatbelt but he’s already grabbed it, reaching around you to click it into the buckle.
His intense gaze meets yours once he’s done it and your heart skips a beat. You wonder if it’s because he’s thinking the same thing as you.
About a future, a life in which this was all he had to do.
Take care of his girls.
You get out of the car as Baz thanks Pope for coming. The look on Baz’s face when Pope reminds him that he has his daughter makes you want to say something but you don’t want any negativity for Lena. You just walk around the car to stand beside Pope ignoring the surprised looks from the other brothers as the little girl runs to her Father.
You stopped coming to these things years before Andrew went into prison.
Lena tells her Dad that you and Uncle Pope bought her ice cream before he tells her to go find her Grandma.
“Thanks.” Baz says with a shrug. Surprisingly he looks at you earnestly as well when he says it. You look away.
“We really gonna do this?” Craig asks.
You stand awkwardly. You hate this shit. It was always toxic but since they were all trying to separate from Smurf it was even more awkward.
“Yep.” Baz responds.
“She says one god damn thing…” Pope rasps before looking at you, “about anything…” He doesn’t finish. None of you need him to. He gives Baz one last serious look as he guides you inside, his hand on the small of your back.
You both enter the kitchen and Smurf see’s you first.
“Oh.” She says simply. “You came. I didn’t realise you were invited.”
“I invited her.” Pope all but growls.
This makes her turn to him, smiling now. You hadn’t seen her since the smoothie incident and you could see it all now. She was desperately grasping to gain back control of him. It made you proud and slightly scared.
“I’ll put out another plate.” She says trying to hide her annoyance.
Andrew grabs your hand and pulls you into the living area where Lena is. You’re sat on the floor playing with her, Andrew sat on the couch watching you both, sat stiffer than usual. He always was in this place.
J walks in and you freeze as you look up at him. You hadn’t seen him since he was maybe two years old? Pope had told you about Julia, of course, you had cried together but you had yet to see J.
When Smurf kicked out Julia you had been the only one to continue to try and see her. Not often. Julia wanted nothing to do with The Cody’s or you by association.
You had been close once. Couldn’t not be with how close you were to her twin but as she got older she got other friends instead of just hanging around her brother and his younger best friend so much.
Then Baz happened.
Pope knew of course. He gave you money to take to her but she would never take it. Probably for the best since she fell back into drugs pretty quickly after having J. As much as you wanted to protect J, Julia disappeared not long before his second birthday.
You stand up about to walk over to him but stop yourself. What were you going to do? Hug him? You were a stranger to him as much as his Uncles were when he first arrived.
“Im…” Instead you start to introduce yourself.
“I know who you are.” He says and you’re confused when he looks a little wary. Then you remember how Pope had been giving him a hard time. Something you said he should stop. Just like his Mom, by association he probably assumed you were wary of him too.
You just nod. J looks over your shoulder and you can only imagine the glare Andrew is giving him.
“I’m sorry.” You say. You’re sorry you didn’t try harder to find them. You’re sorry you didn’t make Andrew put up more of a fight. You’re sorry you were too young to be braver. Instead you just finish with… “about your Mom.”
“Yeah.” He says, blank faced. Much more like his Uncle Pope than he realised. “Me too.” He walks out of the living room. “Hey Lena.” He greets as he walks out.
You turn to Andrew and just as you suspected he’s glaring at J’s back.
A heavy sadness sits in the air.
Yet more lives fucked by Smurf. You can only sit back down beside Lena.
When it’s time to sit at the table you’re reluctant but sit down anyway, between Andrew and Craig. Andrew had grabbed your thigh under the table to pull you closer to him.
“Don’t worry Pope. I won’t steal your girl.” Craig teases as he sits down on the bench before starting to fill his plate. Pope gives him his renowned death glare over your head. It was an easy dynamic. Something familiar.
“I don’t have the health insurance to cover what you’d give me Craig.” You tell him as you start filling your own plate, avoiding the meatloaf.
Deran laughs loudly, J laughs, still not sure of you. Even Baz cracks a smile.
“Wait, you don’t have health insurance?” Andrew asks lowly from beside you, eyes widening and clearly very concerned.
You laugh and tuck your hand around his bicep comfortingly as you lean into him. “I’m joking, handsome.” You whisper. You know he’s probably going to ask to see it later.
“Are you two together finally or what?” Baz asks the question you used to crack a joke about but now felt like a punch to the chest. Pope stiffened too.
Neither of you spoke.
“Shut the fuck up, Baz. You know how it is. We all do.” Deran says casually before filling his mouth with food. You smile over at him thankfully.
Smurf walks in, swaying slightly, clearly drunk and the air shifts with her.
She sits down and you sit up straighter. Andrew leans into you.
You all commence eating.
It’s an awkward silence. Just the sounds of eating and utensils clinking. It’s almost painful.
It’s the other woman at the table who breaks the silence.
“At least everybody still likes the meatloaf, huh?”
More silence.
You know you shouldn’t exacerbate things. You really do but you can’t help it.
You lean over to the meatloaf and cut a piece off. Everyone who clearly remembers meatloaf gate watches you warily. You see Smurf’s unimpressed face out of the corner of your eye.
You lift the piece as though you’re putting it on your plate and last minute dump it onto Andrew’s plate. You keep a completely straight face as Craig nearly chokes on his food trying not to laugh. Deran cover his mouth with his napkin and of course golden boy Baz just shakes his head. J is completely lost.
Andrew turns to look directly at you with that same stern look from the ice cream parlour as you look up at him innocently through your lashes.
His mouth quirks and you can see by his expression what he’s saying. Really? Was that really necessary?
In hindsight probably not.
“I’m gonna go keep Lena company.” You announce before standing using Andrews shoulder. Giving it a gentle squeeze before walking inside and closing the door. Pretty sure whatever was coming next Lena shouldn’t be hearing.
That table had enough children fucked up by Smurf on it. You’d be damned if you let Lena be one too.
That night Andrew drives you home. He takes you into your apartment and keeps you company while you get ready for bed. You know he’s not staying, he never did when Lena was sleeping at Smurfs.
“You want me to stay until you fall asleep?” He asks from the chair he’s sitting on, the one that now stayed permanently facing your bed. Since the night you were chased you had been having some difficulty feeling as safe as before.
He of course found out who it was, made sure it wasn’t targeted. It was just some tweaker looking for some cash or a phone. There was always a niggling thought that Smurf could easily pay someone like that off but nobody would have known you were going to make a split second decision to leave the house that night.
“No, it’s okay you must be tired.” You say as you get in bed. He walks over to you and kneels beside your bed like he’s praying.
“I’m not tired.” He says as he reaches to push a piece of hair out of your face. You smile over at him and he looks back at you like you’re a work of art in the dim light of your lamp.
“You’re going to stay either way aren’t you?” You ask as your hand strokes his forearm. He just nods. You nod back with a soft smile. “Goodnight handsome.”
He kisses your forehead tenderly before he gets up and walks over to the chair, just sitting in the shadows. Even on the nights he didn’t sleep over he would stay in that chair until you were asleep before returning to Smurfs to be there in the morning for Lena.
Most people would find it creepy, a man sat watching you sleep because that’s all he did. He would sit unmoving, watching you without so much as a shift, like something that didn’t need to breathe. Just stay alert. For you. To make you feel safe.
He was a comforting presence to you where others would find it disconcerting. That had never ever changed.
For some reason that particular night you focused on staying awake. Made sure to take deep breaths, even snore ever so slightly to make it believable as you knew he would’t leave until he thought you were in a deep sleep.
Eventually when you are almost actually asleep you hear him stand, walk over to your bedroom door and whisper so low you’re not even sure you hear him right…
(Warnings: cheating allegations, past relationship, set during the new series' final episode)
Divider from @kawaiimaterials
To say getting the invitation was a surprise was an understatement. Because you hadn't talked to the Wilkerson's in years. Over a decade, actually. Not after...well.
Reese knew.
But it seemed like everyone was there. Malcolm's old school friends, the guys from Francis' military days, even Craig. It was like one big jumble of everyone and anyone the Wilkerson's had ever known. And you couldn't deny, the party was really nice. Hall decorated perfectly, music loud but not too loud, food delicious and conversation pleasant.
But you couldn't find Reese. And you knew he had to be here. It was his parents you were all celebrating after all.
Not that you wanted to see him.
In fact, you actively wanted to avoid him. But that was kind of hard to do when you couldn't see him.
You could see Jamie in his uniform, looking all grown up and put together. Malcolm, with what you presumed to be his family, chatting away to Stevie and his family. Francis having a very panicked conversation with his military friends and Kelly wandering around the dance floor while Dewy watched on from the laptop in their arms.
Everyone looked so...mature. With their own families, their own lives. No longer the mess of kids you use to hang around with. They had careers and children and jobs. Actual proper jobs. And here you were, in a dress you'd recycled from a wedding two years ago and shoes that didn't quite fit eating canapes and suddenly so crushingly aware of how lonely you were. No one on your arm, no one smiling at you, no one to even ask to be your plus one.
Just you, stood next to a pile of balloons eating tiny food and reminiscing about a simpler time when you use to curl up in Reese's over crowed room and giggle as he threw pillows at his brothers for intrupping his make out session.
"Psst"
You blinked, looking around at where the sudden low noise had come from only to find Reese and his big head sticking out from between the balloons. Smiling like the cat that got the cream and looking down at the food and champagne in your hand.
"Reese...what the-hey!"
He poked an arm out from between the balloons. Snaking it around your waist and picking you up with an ease you remembered all too well, pulling you into his hidden warren. Which just so happened to be an electrical cupboard that the balloons were purposefully hiding.
"Keep your voice down-ooh Vol-au-vents"
He snatched your plate, stuffing a few morals between him lips and chewing happily. Chasing it with what was left of your champagne.
He was...older. Of course he was. Hair no longer full of highlights, smile lines creasing his eyes and wrinkles slowly forming around his forhead. He was tall, taller than you remembered. And skinny. Stick thin in his suit. Grey jacket and slacks, askew tie and a crisp white shirt you just knew Lois was the one who ironed, even after all this time.
You snatched the plate and glass off him, dropping them on top of some box with far too many buttons and lights.
"What are you doing hiding in a sea of balloons"
He whined. One Vol-au-vent still left.
"I kind of pissed off my dad so I'm hiding until the heat goes down and I become the favourite child again"
He reached for the Vol-au-vent. You grabbed his wrist and cocked an eyebrow. All that did was pull an annoyed groan out of him. By-passing you with his other hand and gobbling down the last bite before you could stop him.
"Malcolm will do something worse, I just have to give him time"
It was your turn to groan. Releasing his wrist and going to rub your hands over your face only to remember all the makeup you had caked on hours ago to try and look one percent less exhausted and pathetic than you did without it.
"I don't...I don't even want to know"
"I missed you too"
It was sarcastic with an underlying bite. Lifting his tie to wipe his mouth on it as he glared down at you. Your chest filling with an icky buzzing. Tight and scratchy. Emotions brewing and bubbling the longer you were in his presence.
This is why you wanted to avoid him. To run from the pit in your stomach that grew everytime you locked eyes with him. Every time you smelt that same after shave he had been using since he learnt how to shave. Everytime you felt his body heat radiating next to you.
A longing you didnt-no, couldn't, acknowledge.
Punching him in the arm instead. Channelling some emotion into action. The only action that was acceptable right now.
"Shut up. It's been 12 years and I still haven't gotten an apology"
"For what?"
You blinked.
A bucket of cold water doused down your spine.
"For...how do you not know?"
He shrugged, rubbing at his arm with an exaggerated pout. Over playing the dull throb.
"I do alot of dumb stuff. It's hard to keep track"
The emotions swirling in your chest finally settled. Pumping out its first contender. Your hands shaking, your eyes sharp and jaw clenched.
Anger.
That was a good one to start with.
"Cool, so I was just another 'dumb stuff' adventure. Good to know that giving you all my firsts didn't go to waste"
You spat the words out. Both hands pushing him now. Pushing him away from you. Away from his body heat, his aftershave, his stupid clueless face. Turning on your heel and making your way out of the balloon prison you were trapped in. Back to the party. To pleasant conversation and half-hearted catch ups. Maybe Jamie had something interesting going on. Or Dewey, hell talking to a laptop all night sounded just fine to you.
But his hand wrapped around your waist. Pulling you deeper into the cupboard, pressing you between two blinking machines as his body shielded the exit. All hope of escaping lost.
"Are you talking about the kiss thing?"
You huffed because it was all you could do. Huff and cross your arms and pretend your head wasn't spinning as he loomed over you. Shoulders still wide, eyes still that perfect soft green.
"Yes, Reese. The tounge down your throat thing-"
"I told you, she kissed me-"
"Well, you seemed pretty pleased with it!"
He groaned, turning his back to you. Hands covering his face. The same argument from 12 years ago back in full swing. Like you had picked up right where you left off.
Only this time he took in a deep breath. Settled his emotions, and turned back to face you. Hands held out defensively.
"It was really gross. She was drunk, and I just came in to fix the air-conditioning-"
"At 1am?"
"Yeah at 1am. Take work when you can get it. I was trying to save up for our honeymoon"
The last sentence came out in a strained tone. Green eyes shimmering now. Wet and defeated. The feeling of your engagement ring smacking him in the forhead as fresh as it was that night. Watching hopelessly as you packed a bag and pushed past him. Out the door and out of his life. His mum telling him it was only a matter of time, that he should have treated you better, been more like his father, and less like himself.
That didn't make him feel any better. Just made him feel sick. Like all the colour in the world had been sucked away. Like all the progess he had made had been for nothing. Getting a job, signing a lease, talking about pets and kids and if you needed to take out a loan for a new car. Bills and home cooked meals. Cuddles on the couch and pranks long forgotten. Just you and him and a whole future together. Gone in seconds.
He sighed, body deflating, a stepped aside.
"Whatever, you'll never believe me. I'm a screw up. Always have been, always will be"
He leaned away from you, parting the balloons, the sounds of the party suddenly so loud. The music, the chatter, Malcolm yelling about something in the bathroom.
"Pass me a dinner roll on your way out, would you?"
His head was hanging limply between his shoulders. Defeat accepted. The exact opposite way it was that night.
The fight lasting hours, neither of you backing down. Defending himself like he was shouting an alibi at his mother and you, so overwhelmed by emotion, that all reason and logic just crawled away and hid. Both not treating the other like you care for them, only like you loved them too much. So much that it hurt, everything just hurt.
You crying yourself to sleep on your friends couch. Him escaping to the gym to punch something until his knuckles bled. Both just wanting eachother. Wanting to go to the one place you both felt safe, loved. The arms of the other.
But it didn't work out that way. Because neither of you would back down. An immovable object meeting an unstoppable force. Just shutting each other out until you had no choice but to move on. Without each other.
But here he was, conceding. Bowing his head and giving you win. Letting you think whatever you wanted to think. To just be disappointed in him. Something he had never been able to bear before.
And that was so unlike Reese that your logic finally kicked in. Waking up from its slumber to acknowledge that Reese would never give in unless he was telling the truth.
"You really didn't kiss her?"
He shook his head. Balloons slipping from his fingers, but arm never moving. Kelly looking in curiously, Dewey in their arms.
"If I wanted a kiss, I had you to go home to. I didn't need to go outsourcing it"
The anger drained. Out your shoes and into a puddle between you. Your heart swelling now. Grief and sadness over taking the brew. Eyes slowly filling with tears, as wet as his were.
You reached out, pulling his arm back inside. Squeezing his forearm. Firm muscle twitching under your fingertips.
"...I missed you to"
Your voice was small. Slipping between the party noises. Balloons working as a barrier once more. Closing you both off from the rest of the world. Just you and him and years of resentment slipping away with nothing to replace it but this deep pull of longing. Wanting your safe space back.
But neither of you moved. Your hand slipping off his sleeve. His fist covering his mouth as he cleared his throat. Fingers twitching and feet shuffling.
"So, did you come with your boyfriend or husband-"
You snorted.
"No. After you, I...it was kind of hard to find better"
You looked up at him. His wide, self-satisfied smile. His sparkling dry eyes. And smacked his arm.
"Don't look so proud of yourself. You're still a pain in my backside"
"I just can't believe I ruined men for you-"
"Shut up, or I'll rat you out"
"You wouldnt"
"Try me"
You took a step forward. Chest to chest, hips to hips. Chin tilted and looking up at him. A teasing smile filling your cheeks to match his smug one. A flush rushing up to piant a soft pink over his pale cheeks. Fingers twitching worse, wanting to reach out and hold. Grip your waist and pull you impossibly closer.
But you reached out first. A hand on his chest, covering his heart.
And he was lost.
Arm wrapped around you. Palm cupping your jaw. Leaning down and pulling you close. Lips sliding together clumsily. Too fast, too sloppy, all grace lost in his haste to taste you. Have you cover the sweetness of the champagne that lingered on his tongue. And you couldn't deny him that. Not when you needed to feel his body against yours, his hair between your fingertips.
Standing on your tiptoes as he backed you into the wall. Both hands sliding underneath your thighs, dress bunching up as he lifted you. Eye to eye, no longer hunched as he held you there like you weighed nothing. The muscle of his youth maintained, still as present as ever. Nipping at your bottom lip. Swallowing your moans as you swallowed his whimpering groans.
Both out of breath. Both covered in the glitter of your setting spray, your perfume, his aftershave. Tangled together. Becoming one once more.
That was until the Malcolm's shouting became louder. More aggressive. And Hal's voice echoed past you. Reminding him of why he was here, who he was avoiding. Pulling back and gasping for air. Forheads pressed together and lips swollen.
He slowly lowered you. Reaching out to fix your hair, your dress, trying to make it look like he hadn't just attacked your mouth and pinned you to the inside of a cupboard. Like you had more class than to make out with your ex-fiancé in the middle of a party.
"Sorry, gotta keep moving. But...stay. After the party, yeah? I wouldn't mind catching up a bit more"
You reached up, fixing his hair, his tie. Hands shaking as your whole body vibrated. A raw nerve that craved more, needed more. But later. You had waited 12 years, what was a few hours more?
"Sure, I'd like that. The catching up. More...more of that, yeah"
He smiled, kissed your cheek, and then was gone. The glitter you had left all over his cheeks soon forgotten as the climax of the party came to an end. Kneeling at his feet and washing it from his eyes with saline. Francis and Malcolm bickering like no time had passed. His daughter looking on fondly.
I haven't really been on here lately, but what can I say? The Malcolm In The Middle reboot reignited my childhood crush on Frankie Muniz and since rewatching the original Malcolm In The Middle, I've thought about writing this for a little bit.
In this fic Malcolm's best friend and girlfriend needs an escape from her parents and home life so they have a surprise sleep over. This is similar to my childhood, so even if it's not good please be nice!
It happened again. Your older sister had gotten into it with your parents. She had missed curfew again, and one would think that that argument or discussion would take 10 minutes. But due to your sister’s lack of filter and self control and also due to your dads temper. So here you were walking your neighborhood, late at night. Because how could anyone sleep with all the yelling? Thankfully you had your own little safe space just down the street at the Wilkerson household. Now that family was crazy and violent and loud. But you knew that family loved each other and they loved any person that felt like an outcast. Right now you only sought out one of said Wilkerson’s. You’re best friend and boyfriend, Malcolm. Being basically neighbors with him your whole life as well as being in the same smart classes as him it only made sense that you gravitated towards him. Ever since the Krelboyne class when you were 11 you, Malcolm, and Stevie were inseparable. Until that one night at that one party where you and Malcolm were dared to do 7 Minutes In Heaven with him. At first making out with your best friend was weird, but at the end it felt like the most natural thing. And needless to say, you and Malcolm made out in the back seat of Lois’s car. Now the two of you had been together for nearly 1 whole year.
Sneaking up to the bedroom window that Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey shared you tapped your fingernails on the glass. You knew that if Lois or Hal caught you, all 4 of you would be punished. Especially Malcolm. Plus it was almost kind of fun sneaking in so you didn’t want that to end. You pressed your face into the glass to see if there was any movement from inside the room. When there wasn’t you tapped again. You noticed that the covers of the bed closest to you were pushed off of the body with a bit of annoyance from being woken up. When you saw Reese’s annoyed and sleep filled face you smiled at him in triumph and greeting. Believe it or not, Reese wasn’t always a psychotic asshole with you. And you knew this to be true because he pushed the window open. But he rolled his eyes and collapsed back into his bed. “What are you doing here?” Malcolm asked you as he got up from his side of the double bed to help you in from the window and close it behind you.
“My sister and parents go into it again and instead of talking about it normally. They’ve been yelling at each other for an hour so I had to get out of there. Sorry, it’s just chilly and I didn’t know where else to go.” You told him, looking up at him like someone kicked your cat.
“Hey, it’s ok,” Malcolm shook his head at your apology and placed his hand on your waist to bring you over to the bigger bed with him. The bigger bed that still occupied Dewey on the other side. “You let me hide in your room when I have to get away from these nut cases. We can lay down for a little while and just talk. But we can not, and I mean it. Can not fall asleep because if my parents find us we’re both dead and the window will be bolted shut. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they put bars on the window at this point.”
“We’ve never fallen asleep.” You played dumb.
“We’ve fallen asleep every time we’ve done this.” He rose an eyebrow at you with a smirk on his face.
“I know!” You quietly squealed, a bright smile beaming your face.
“Dewey, move.” Malcolm ordered his little brother. “Y/N’s here.”
“No, go some where else. I’m tired of you always doing this.” The boy whined. But it didn’t work anyway. Malcolm grabbed the boy by both arms and dragged him until he was laying on the floor.
“I tried asking you nice way. When Y/N’s here you make room for her, got it?” Malcolm told his little brother as you climbed into one side of the bed.
“Dewey come on, you know that you’re my favorite brother. I’ll even give you 20$ to keep you quiet.” You bribed him as Malcolm made his way into the bed next you you. He pulled the blankets up to your chests and he wrapped his arms around you so you could cuddle your head into his chest. You pecked his neck in appreciation for making sure you were comfortable. Even though Malcolm could be self absorbed sometimes, he always made sure to put you first either way.
“Make it 30.” Dewey haggled.
“Sold. Good night.” You told the boy. You burrowed into Malcolm a little more and wrapped your arm around his stomach. Earning you a kiss on the head. In turn making you kiss him fully.
“You’re not gonna give him the money are you?” Malcolm asked quietly so Dewey wouldn’t hear.
“Of course not.” You scoffed. You smiled to yourself as you finally got comfortable enough that you were falling closer and closer to sleep until your world was silent and calm. Finally finding rest.
imagine being forged in the hellfire of the PittFest MCI on your first shift as a 20 yr old MS3 and some prehistoric cunt who refused to learn windows 98 calls you a snowflake
Nurse Jesse with the “reading a book at a concert so the singer knows I’m not interested and I’m different” when Robby’s sexy ass pulls up on his motorcycle, he’s just like me fr
Set during and after Season 9, Episodes 14 and 15 of ER. Spoilers if you haven't seen the show.
Warnings: THIS CHAPTER IS 18+ ONLY!! MDNI. Smut (p in v, unprotected), Lots of Fluff in the Beginning, Some Slight Angst, Language, Canonical Medical Issues
WC: 5.0 k
ER story belongs to original creators, just adding on my own original characters.
When we stopped for our layover in Atlanta, I couldn’t help but think about the last time I had been in this airport. I was sitting at the gate to go back to Chicago, and I was crying. Sobby really, but I was trying to hold it in. Meghan was five months old, Carter was in the throes of rehab, and I was worried my family was irreparably damaged. But now, our almost three year old daughter was having the time of her life at Aunt Elizabeth’s house with Ella and I was sitting with my head on Carter shoulder as we waited for our next flight to our postponed honeymoon to Turks and Caicos.
Carter raised our intertwined hands to his lips and kissed mine. “You feel like you’re vibrating.” He laughed. “You nervous?”
“More like excited.” I said, looking up at him. “I’ve never been out of the U.S. before. I don’t know..... it just feels like a really big moment.”
“It is. It’s a first. And I really like still getting to experiencing firsts with you.” He paused and squeezed my hand. “Next time, it will be Meghan’s first time on a plane.”
“Now, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. You think I’m a nervous flyer now, just wait till Meghan’s here.”
“Then I’ll hold on to both of you.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “I’m glad..... you big softie.”
Right before it was time to start to board our flight, we left the lounge that we had been parked in and went to the gate. We were among some of the first to board, finding our seats in first class quickly. I had told Carter we didn’t need to be in first class: the flight was only around three hours and we already had, apparently, an amazing place waiting for us for our stay. But Carter wouldn’t have it, said he wanted to make sure everything was perfect now that we were finally getting this chance to have a “real honeymoon”. And after the last few weeks had been wearing down on us emotionally and mentally, I was more than ready to reconnect with my husband.
“You know what I’m most excited about?” I asked, looking from the window to Carter as he opened the small bottle of water that the flight attendants had given out.
“What’s that?”
“A break from the snow.”
“Holy shit.”
When the plane made its decent towards the island, I thought I had seen the most beautiful thing ever. Clear water, beautiful looking beaches. Hell, I even think I saw a dolphin. Then, when we got off the plane and got into our car service, I realized I was wrong again. The drive was so beautiful. Palm trees, green grass, flowers, and I could even see the beach through the foliage. But when we finally got to where we were staying, I was absolutely mesmerized and gob smacked.
Carter had booked us a goddamn villa. Right there on the beach.
The outside of the house was white with blue shutters, just like the other villas scattered across this part of the beach. While it looked small on the outside, the inside was massive. A beautiful open concept living space and kitchen that led out to a patio and private pool. I mean come on. A pool on the beach! The bedroom had a massive bed and attached bathroom that had a large soaker tub and a waterfall shower that was already calling my name. And to top it off, the ocean was just feet away. I stood in the middle of the living room and just stared outside, watching the sun setting as my brain was still not really processing that we were actually here. This felt like a dream.
“What are you thinking?” Carter asked, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
“That this is absolutely insane and I can’t believe we are here right now.”
He chuckled and kissed my neck. “I may not like my family’s money, but at least it can buy the honeymoon you deserve. Especially when you deal with me every day like you do.”
“Well, I can’t really argue with that.” I smirked. Carter scoffed and picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. “Put me down!” I said, smacking his butt.
“No way! That comment deserves getting thrown in the pool.”
“John Truman Carter! Don’t you dare throw me in the pool!”
Our first full day in paradise was nothing short of magical. After a very lazy start to the morning and a late breakfast, Carter told me to prepare for a day on the water. What I didn’t know was a day on the water meant a private boat complete with meals and service as needed. We took a tour of the island, ate fresh food, and jumped off the side of the boat multiple times into the water. That night we had dinner at a local restaurant before making our way back to the villa.
“What a day.” I said, smiling as I turned around the room, absolutely giddy and feeling like I couldn’t possibly go to sleep. “Let’s get in the pool.”
“Not tired of the water after today?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and pulling me close.
“Nope. Never get the chance back home. Want to make the most of it.”
After refreshing myself and slipping into my red bikini, I made my way out to the living room. The patio doors were open and Carter had lit a few candles around the pool for the added ambiance. “Nice touch, Dr. Carter.” I purred, stepping into the pool.
“Of course, Mrs. Carter.” He replied, holding out a hand and helping me the last few steps into the water.
“You know, it does feel kind of weird to be in a pool when you can hear the ocean ten feet away.” I chuckled, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Yeah, but I don’t know how safe I’d feel taking you out there in the dark.”
“Such a gentleman my husband is.”
“Thank you.” He brushed his nose against my cheek and laid his forehead against mine. “Are you having a good time?”
I scoffed and shook my head. “Are you kidding me? Carter, I’m having an amazing time. I’m really glad I let you plan this trip. These surprises just keep getting better.”
“Oh yeah? You want another one.”
“Maybe.”
“Turn around.” I furrowed my brows before I slowly turned, the water splashing around me. There was a large, square, dark blue box sitting on one of the lounge chairs. “Go look at it.” He whispered in my ear before he kissed my neck. Swallowing, I walked forward and picked it up. Lifting the lid, my hand flew to my mouth when I saw what it was. A necklace with a gold chain and three stones clustered together: a pearl, an amethyst, and a sapphire. It was our birthstones.
The water behind me waved before I felt Carter at my back. He reached around and pulled the necklace from the box gently, before putting it around my neck and clasping the chain. I turned back to him, tears in my eyes. “I love that. Thank you.”
“When the new baby is born, I’ll update it for you.”
A large smile spread on both of our faces before I all but flung myself at him, crashing my lips into his. We swan around for a while, holding each other, kissing, and just enjoying the quiet night, the ocean waves lapping in the background. Once we were sufficiently pruning on our fingers, we got out and dried off, blowing out the candles and heading for the bedroom. As I squeezed my hair to try and dry it, I looked at the big shower. Seemed like a good idea after our day at sea. But when I turned back to Carter, I noticed he was holding something.
“What is that?”
“A camera.” He smirked holding up the device. “A polaroid camera.”
“Oh yeah? And what do you want to take pictures of?”
“You.”
I raised a brow at the serious tone of his voice before a sly smile slowly grew on my face. Throwing the towel down, I sat on the edge of the bed in front of him before reaching behind me. Slowly, I pulled the tie of my bikini top. The middle loosened before I did the same to the top tie, letting the small, loose fabric fall into my lap. Gasping, I covered my breast and bit my lip.
“Oops.”
Flash.
The polaroid clicked and whirled, starting to develop. Carter smiled and took it out of the camera, shaking it once before he set it on the beside table. I turned, looking at him over my shoulder, and the camera flashed again. “Having fun?” I asked him and he nodded. Crawling up onto the bed, I got on my knees, arms covering my top half, just enough to really leave nothing to the imagination. Another flash. “You know, if you don’t stop, we won’t have any for you.”
Carter laughed. “I don’t care about me. I just want to see you.”
“Well, I do.” I reached forward and grabbed the polaroid before he could react. But the sight of my naked top half was a great distraction. “Come here.” Crawling forward, I set the camera down for a moment before I grabbed his hands and turned around, putting them over my breasts. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss my neck the same time I picked the camera back up and took a picture.
“Okay, enough of these for now.” Carter growled, taking the camera from me and setting it on the bedside table next to the other pictures. I turned back to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck as he came back to me, our lips meeting in a heated kiss as our chests rested against each other. His hand moved down my body until they rested on my hips. I was so focused on the kiss, I didn’t realize he had untied my bottoms until they fell off me.
“I saw you looking at the shower.” He muttered against my lips. “It’s a lot bigger than the one we have at home. Want to try it out?”
“Only if we use the bench seat.” I replied, moving back. “We work in an ER. We don’t need to become the people who get a sex injury on their honeymoon.”
Carter laughed as I pushed him away and got off the bed, walking naked over to the shower. I turned the water on, the showerhead raining down over me, causing me to squeal. When I turned to Carter, he was stripping off his swimsuit and walking over, the glass door shutting behind him as he got in. He took my face in his hands and kissed me again, before grabbing my shampoo bottle.
We spent the next good while cleaning each other, a different kind of foreplay. We took turns massaging the soap into each other’s scalps, before taking the detachable head and raining the water over us. Next came the body wash, the foamy bubbles washing away the salt of the ocean and sweat of the humidity of the island. Once we were sufficiently clean, I carefully walked him backwards until the back of his legs hit the bench seat, causing him the slowly sit down. He was hard and ready. And I was more than ready to take him after how worked up I had been all day. We would have definitely had boat sex if we had been alone.
Swinging my leg over him, I adjusted myself until I was comfortable against him. “Ready baby?” He groaned, taking himself in his hand. I nodded and lifted myself slightly as he lined up. The groans from both of us echoed in the enclosed shower as I sunk down.
Setting a steady rhythm, I ground against him. Water droplets fell down his face as we moved, faces close like we were almost sharing our breath. I could feel him wanting to thrust up, but from this position and how much space he had, it was mainly me doing the work. And I had to admit, it wasn’t doing much for me.
“Baby, get up.” He said, grabbing my hips. A small whine left me as he slipped out. But I didn’t feel empty long. Quickly, I was pressed up against the wall of the shower, a little farther from the water. He grabbed one of my legs and lifted it up before he sunk back in. That’s when the work really started.
He held me up like I weighed nothing, pounding me into the wall of the shower in a way that took my breath away. My nails dug deep into his broad shoulders, my hands holding on for dear life as he stretched me out. He was getting desperate and I was to, our moans and breathy sighs filling the air. He kissed me again, this time catching my lower lip between his teeth and I thought my eyes were going to roll out of my head. He adjusted the position just slightly and I gasped.
“Right there. John, right there!”
And ever the meticulous man, even while filled with pleasure, he made it his mission to keep hitting that same spot. He kept me steady in his arms as my climax barreled towards me, finally exploding as my leg gave out. But Carter had me and he didn’t let me go, even after he came with a loud groan.
Once we were both back in our heads, he looked down at me, the two of us still connected together. “I think we might need another shower.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
At first, I hadn’t noticed the camcorder.
We were having another great day, deciding to just chill out on the beach and enjoy a lazy, quiet day after going and doing so much over the last couple of days. Which we totally fine with me. We drank fruity mocktails underneath umbrella covered chairs, which also provided good cover for beach sex, thanks to the semi-private nature of our part of the area. But when I went out into the water for a moment by myself, just to rinse off and cool down, I saw him holding it up. He was focused in on me and I could hear that he was saying something, but couldn’t exactly make it out. So, I just decided to continue with my dip in the ocean and ask about it some other time.
Later that night, I stretched out on the bed, a content sigh leaving me. Carter and I had found a nice rhythm over the years when it came to sex, finding what the other liked and what worked best. But what we just did was something else, and it left me pretty breathless. “I don’t know if that did it,” I started. “But that was really good.”
Carter scoffed and shook his head, adjusting his spot on the bed. He laid back down in between my legs, his arms wrapping around my hips. I smiled down at him and pushed his hair back, earning a couple kisses to my fingers. He looked down at my stomach and started tracing the stretch marks I had gotten when pregnant with Meghan. He placed a couple kisses here and there before resting his chin against the skin of my belly.
“I really hope it worked this time.” He whispered. “Or at least one of the times on this trip.”
I gave him a small smile. “And even if it didn’t, it’ll be okay.”
“Evie what if the tests shows something is wrong. What if........ what if I can’t give you another baby.”
We had gone to see the fertility specialist before we left for our trip. Carter gave a sample and I was given an ultrasound and my blood was taken. Nothing to invasive right now, just the beginnings of finding something out. It was planned that way so hopefully we could forget about it for a little while and relax; try not to think about it too much while in paradise. But I guess Carter just couldn’t let go for the week.
“It won’t matter.” I said, raking my fingers through his hair.
“But you want another baby.” He said, looking up at me with those big, beautiful brown doe eyes.
“No Carter, that’s where you’re wrong.” I pulled him towards me so we could be eye to eye. “It’s not just about another baby. I want a family with you. Whether it’s with Meghan or hundreds of other babies, it doesn’t matter. As long as it’s with you, that’s all I want. If it comes down to it, we could try IVF. Or we could adopt.”
“But I really like the one we made.” He scoffed, trying to smile.
“Well, she was a fluke made during a quickie in the hospital the first time we ever had sex.” I laughed. That got him to fully smile and I brought him in for a kiss. “I love my life with you and whatever children we may or may not have. And if it comes down to it, we’ll fill all the extra bedrooms up with something else.” I kissed him again, and this time my nipples hardened at the touch of his skin against mine. I pulled him down so his ear was to my mouth.
“But maybe,” I whispered. “We should keep trying. You know, just in case.”
“Oh, is that right? Just in case.”
“Yes, Dr. Carter. Just in case.”
After he had fallen asleep, I carefully slipped out of bed and walked over to the small table and chair that was in our room. It’s where he had left the camcorder. It took a moment to find the video from when I was in the water today. There were lots of other videos of me from far away, short clips. Looked like I had been doing things like putting on my make up for dinner, tanning on the beach, even sleeping in bed. When I found the one I was looking for, I pressed play.
“Well kids, it’s day five here in paradise with your mom.” Carter voice came out of the speaker. I couldn’t see him, just myself out in the water, a dark shape framed by the glistening of the sun off the water. I was running my fingers through my hair. “I know I’ve been telling you this all trip, but you have no idea just how amazing your mom is. I’m so lucky to have her. She’s never looked more beautiful than she has on this trip, relaxed, not worried about patients or making sure one of us is doing something we shouldn’t. You know future Baby Carter, maybe that’s also technically you. You might be in your mommy’s belly right now.” He paused, zooming out a little as I started to walk out of the water. “I can’t wait to meet you one day. Meghan is going to be the best big sister ever. And your mom, like always is going to be the way better parent, hands down.”
Every single clip was some small experience on the trip, taken when I hadn’t noticed. Carter talking to Meghan and our future baby about what we were doing and about how much he loved them and me, about how amazing our life was going to be together. It was no surprise I started crying, my heart expanding with each new clip. Never once in my life did I dream a man would love me like this, love our kids like this. I hated that he had to go through everything he did to feel this way, but I honestly wouldn’t trade this feeling for the world.
Watching the last clip, I shut the camcorder and went back to bed. I crawled in quickly and snuggled up so close into him, it startled him and woke him up. “What’s wrong?” He asked in a half sleep daze.
“Nothing.” I reassured him. “I just really love you.”
“I love you too babe.” He mumbled before he pulled me in and wrapped his arms around me. I fell asleep, blissful and so happy to the sound of his heart beating in his chest.
While Turks and Caicos had been a dream, by the time our trip had come to an end, I was ready to get back home to Chicago. Carter and I both missed our daughter fiercely and we were both itching to get back into a real routine. Real life was waiting for us and we were actually ready for it. Although, laying around on the beach had been pretty nice. We had really needed this week to remember who we were as a couple, not just mom and dad or RN and doctor. It was really nice.
We were in Miami for our layover this time, sporting new tans, Carter’s hands on my waist and thigh as I checked my messages. I let him lean in and listen to the ones from Meghan over Elizabeth's phone, just calling to say she hoped we were having a good time. It was really cute and it made me even more excited to have her back in my arms. However, I was surprised when I realized there was another missed call. My eyes went wide as I listened to the message and I brought my hand up to my mouth.
“What? What is it?” Carter asked, immediately jumping to conclusions. “Is it Meghan? Is she okay? Is it Gamma?”
I brought my phone away from my ear and looked at it. “No..... uh, no. Uh, it was Abby.” I looked up at him. “Eric’s plane disappeared. She said he’s dead.”
In all honesty, I should have gone to her apartment when we left the airport. If I hadn’t of just spent the last week away from my almost three old, I would have. I would have gone straight to Abby’s apartment in any other circumstance. But my family needed me, we needed to be whole again before I could go. So, after spending the night at home, I drove into the city early, Carter promising that he and Meghan would be fine on their own until I got back.
The spare key Abby had given me slid easily into the lock. The apartment was dark, her blackout curtains keeping her windows the only things glowing in the early morning light. I could hear the sound of her alarm clock beeping from the other room. And when I walked farther into the apartment, I noticed the half drunk bottle of liquor on the table, still open.
Sighing, I walked into her bedroom and found the woman still passed out in her bed, unmoving at the sound of the alarm. I went to the other side of the bed and turned it off with a click. Pushing the hair form her face, I checked she was still breathing and then went back out into the living space and began to clean. I don’t know how long it was before I turned around and almost jumped out of my skin at the sight of Abby standing in her bedroom doorway.
“You scared me.” I huffed, trying to get my heart rate back down. “You okay?”
“Please tell me you didn’t leave your honeymoon early for me?”
I scoffed and shook my head. “No, we didn’t. We were always meant to come home yesterday.”
She groaned. “Oh god, I was supposed to come pick you guys up.”
“It’s alright. We’re adults. We figured out how to get a cab.” I paused, twisting the top back on the liquor bottle. “Any news?” She shook her head, almost in shame. “How about some breakfast? Can you eat?”
“Did the phone ring? I thought I heard the phone ring.”
“No.” I poured some coffee into a mug. I held it out towards her, but she just shook her head again and went back into her room.
“You could just leave that stuff. I'll clean it up later.”
“You want some aspirin?” I asked.
“You should just go home.” She said and I could hear rustling in the bathroom.
“Where you going?”
“I took a shift.”
“You're going in?”
“I've got to keep busy.”
“Well, let's go do something then.”
“You must be exhausted.”
“Come on Abby don't go to work. We can go get Meghan and Carter and go somewhere.”
“I can't drop it.”
“I'll call for you.”
“I'm going to work.”
“Hey, hey, hey.” I finally stopped her. "They're going to find him.” I pulled her into a tight hug and slowly but surely, she wrapped her arms around me and surrendered.
“Thank you for coming back.” She squeezed me once before pushing away. “But I’m going to work.”
I groaned and looked up at the ceiling. God, why did she have to be so damn stubborn? “Fine.” I finally gave in. “At least let me drive you in on my way home.”
I didn’t realize Carter and I had fallen asleep on the couch with Meghan until the doorbell woke me up. Groaning, I stretched out and tried to force myself up, but I had a whole toddler on top of me. One who was dead asleep at that. Turning my head, I gently pushed on Carter’s shoulder. “Baby? Carter? Can you answer the door please?”
Groaning, Carter stretched out before sitting up. He wiped his face with his hands, gently patting Meghan’s back before he stood and walked towards the door. I couldn’t see who was at the door, but I definitely recognized the voice.
“Hi, John.”
“Maggie? What are you doing here? H-How did you know where we lived?” My thoughts exactly.
“I went by Abby’s apartment, but she wasn’t there. I found your address on her fridge and thought she might be here. Is she?”
“Um... no, no. Evie dropped her off at work a couple hours ago.”
“Work?”
Carter looked back at me on the couch, our sleeping child in my arms. We defiantly didn’t need a possibly manic Maggie in our house. “Why..... Why don’t I take you to County? We’ll find Abby together.” He toed on his shoes and pulled on his jacket. “Evie, I’ll be back later.” He called out before the door closed behind him, thankfully not waking Meghan up.
Meghan was on the floor, playing on the rug with her princess dolls when the front door finally opened again. Carter looked dead on his feet when he walked in, but the moment Meghan started running toward him, he perked up and caught her as she jumped into his arms. After toeing off his shoes, he walked back over to the couch and sat her back on the ground so she could continue to play.
“You must have been pulled into a case. You almost missed dinner.”
“I can smell that. Hopefully there’s not too much time left. I’m starving.”
I shook my head. “Just a couple more minutes. You didn’t answer the question.”
Carter chuckled as Meghan ran over and handed him a doll, wanting him to play. “I did. But only one. Little boy. Mom accidentally hit him with her car. He just wanted to say goodbye to her again before she left.”
“Oh, Carter. I’m sorry.”
He nodded and bent the arms of the doll like it was talking to Meghan’s. “I’m really glad she still can’t reach or grab the knobs that well.”
“Don’t remind me.” I groaned. “It will happen soon enough.” I paused. “So, what happened with Maggie?”
“Uh, well she wasn’t manic as far as I could tell. But she was definitely driving Abby and myself crazy.”
“You were a good friend to go help her with that.”
He nodded. “Abby did get a call. They found Eric’s plane. It was tied down in some field. He’s still alive.”
“Really? Well, I guess that means she’s on her way to get him.”
“Uh, no. Not this time apparently. I honestly think she’s tired of chasing him. Wants to let him make his own decisions I guess.” The timer on the oven beeped, signaling that dinner was ready. “Come on Meghan. Let’s go sit the table while Mommy finishes up dinner. Vacation food was great, but I’ve missed her cooking.”
Meghan turned three on a Saturday. And for the first time, we threw her an actual party at our house.
It wasn’t anything to crazy, especially because I was so worried about the house getting messed up when we had just finished unpacking everything, but it was still pretty cool to get to have my daughter’s first actual party in our home. The theme was Disney Princesses and Carter kind of went a little overboard with the pink and sparkly decorations. We invited some of the kids from daycare and of course Elizabeth and Ella. Some of our other County family filtered in and out during the party, wanting to see the house and give the birthday girl her gifts.
The whole afternoon was just really nice. Meghan had a blast and loved opening up and playing with her presents after everyone left. I made her favorite meal for dinner that night and we had leftover cake for dessert. Overall, I think it was safe to say that this had been her best birthday so far and Carter and I were excited for the many more to come.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I just really wanted some good ole smutty fluff after the little bit of a mental ride the last couple chapters have been.
Sidenote, I started Falling Skies (my recently watched is literally all Noah Wyle, lol). I'm already on Season 3 (I know, I'm crazy) and the way I screamed "It's Jeanie Boulet!" so loud was so funny. Of course he was a professor because this man can't not be a dorky academic. Also, he spent 15 seasons saying the name Weaver to only spending 5 more doing it.
That's right! Two in one day! I'm not sure how it happened either. But this is kind of a play off of the first episode of Severance. The reader is best friends with Mark Scout's outie self, but secretly works with his severed self. They both have problems that need to be worked out. However the two would love to forget. Mark wants to forget grieving for his late wife and what he's been doing with his best friend. And his best friend would just like to forget everything in her life, including lying to Mark, her best friend about her job. Which he would probably kill her if he found out. Sorry, I suck at summaries.
There was a loud beeping sound, so you knew that morning was starting. But it was strange, because your alarm was your cell phone. You didn’t have an actual alarm clock. So that could only mean one thing. You did it again. You spent the night at Mark’s house again. Not in the, we had too many drinks watching shows and movies. Nope, you ended up in his bed. Again. This wasn’t the first time and this wasn’t the second time. It felt wrong on both your end and his end, but you both needed somebody to cling to. The man in the bed next to you let out a deep breathe, more like a sigh. So you knew that he was also awake. You knew that there was no use in saying anything; you both knew what happened. Also you both knew that it would probably happen again
“Morning,” Mark mumbled from his side of the bed.
“Morning,” you echoed as you sat up so you could get ready to go back to your own home and get ready for your job at Lumon.
“Are you alright?” Mark asked as he started to get moving and started to sit up in bed as well.
Were you okay? You asked yourself, sarcastically. Of course you weren’t okay, you had been sleeping with your best friend on and off for about a year and a half, and he was still very much grieving his dead wife. So no, you were not okay. You felt guilty, small, and gross. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You lied with a convincing enough smile. “You?” You looked at Mark over your shoulder.
“Oh yeah, I’m great.” He showed you a smile. But you knew that he was a liar too. “Are you going out for more job hunting?” Mark asked, resting his back against the head board.
That’s another thing you were lying about, but only to your best friend and his sister. Who may as well also be your sister from how much time you spent with her.
“Yeah, I just haven’t been able to find anything.” But little did Mark know, you were also an employee if the hollowed Severed floor of Lumon Industries. This was something you could never, ever tell Mark or Devon. They would kill you, but thanks to the secrecy of the job neither would ever find out.
“I’m sure you’ll find something. Just have to keep looking.” Mark stretched the rest of his sleep away and forced himself to get out of bed and ready for.
“Yeah,” you said like you weren’t even listening. You just kept playing with the fabric of the comforter. “I’ll just get out of your hair because I mean you have to get ready for work and I have things.” That being said you grabbed your jeans from the floor along with your bra and sweater and socks and began to get dressed.
“Am I going to see you later for Ricken’s ‘no dinner’ dinner thing?” Mark asked as he tied his tie before reaching for his suit blazer.
“I don’t even know what ‘no dinner’ dinner is? It just sounds like a group therapy session.” You joked, walking over to the bedroom door to make your way to your coat which you had left in Mark’s kitchen. “But they both invited me and you’ll be there so it's not like I’ll be by myself with all of Ricken’s friends.” Now, with your winter coat in hand you made your way to the front door. Trying to escape so you’d be on time for work, without it looking like you were trying to escape. Mark made his way over to you to open the front door for you and walk you out onto his front stoop.
“I’ll probably head to their house after work so I’ll see you there.” The tall man wrapped his strong, but slender arms around you in a warm embrace. To which you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his waist. Stepping back, Mark pecked a kiss to the side of your head. “Don’t worry, I know you just have to be positive.” You scoffed to yourself at his statement. This was coming from the man who had never ending, forever there bags and dark circles under his eyes no matter how much sleep he got. So instead you just humored him and smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right. See you later, have fun at work.” Mark bid you a good day too, with a goodbye before closing the door. He went to start his day and you were about to go get ready for yours. Little did Mark know, you would be seeing each other again in a couple of hours. Just neither of you would remember.
“Good morning, Ms. Y/N.” The voice of Mark’s neighbor, Mrs. Selvig. Made you jump out of your skin. She was always an odd one.
“Good morning, Mrs. Selvig.” You smiled and waved at the woman as you walked to your car. Mrs. Selvig was odd, but she was always nice. You thought to yourself as you drove away to go to your own home to get ready for work.
It was 15 minutes after 9:00 in the morning. You were clean, fresh, dressed in you business casual, Lumon approved clothes. You had parked your car, made your way into the Lumon building. After you get the go-ahead from the front desk receptionist for the entire building, you get to your locker. You put your cell phone on the top shelf of the locker. Because of course, the highly classified floor did not allow cell phones. You changed out of your snow boots into different, but dressier shoes. Swapped your Lumon employee ID for your severed floor ID. Now you were ready for your innie’s day.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Judd the security guard for the regular floor, greeted you.
“Morning, Judd. How’s the day?” You ask the man to be polite as you take the position for him to scan you with his wand scanner.
“Can’t complain,” was replied. Accompanied with a polite smile. “Have a great day, Y/N.” He told you, now that you were clear of any weapons or written words. Judd pressed the elevator button for you.
“You too, Judd.” You walked into the elevator to officially begin your innie’s workday. Allowing you to escape from your life for 8 hours.
As the elevator went down, you felt your stresses and mistakes lift off of your shoulders. Speaking of shoulders, now they were all the way back, no longer tense, a small smile on your face. Now she was ready to get to work. Walking confidently out of the elevators you walked your way to the beautiful, white hallways of your workspace. Once you made it to the Data Refinement room your smile had doubled in size. Finally, your coworkers at last. “Good morning, all!” Your face all but beaming, walking to your computer and turning it on.
“Good morning,” Dylan mumbled into his hand. Which was holding his jaw up. He was clearly really excited about being at work right now. Whether he was the most productive one out of all four of you or not.
“Morning, Y/N.” A bright, cheery voice practically sang through your ears as a cup of coffee was placed in front of you.
“Thank you, Mark.” You smiled up at him. You swear the two of you got lost in each others eyes for a moment, but the moment quickly died when Mark moved away and toward the desk of his own.
“Is that a new shirt that you’re wearing, Y/N?” Mark’s head popped over the cubical wall. At first you were caught off guard by the question. Your hands were sweating, you could not recall a time where your hands have ever sweated before. You had to wipe your hands on your thigh in hopes that they would stop.
“I think so. My outie must have just bought it.” You shrugged and turned to your computer to work on the mysterious spreadsheets.
“Well, it looks very nice. Your outie has good taste.” You couldn't even think of a response fast enough. All you could think to do was quietly tell him thank you before returning to your work in front of you. Your cheeks were growing warm. Was that normal?
“Good morning, kids. What’s for dinner?” And in came Irving to officially start the day! Who knows what would unfold in your mysterious line of work!
That's right! Two in one day! I'm not sure how it happened either. But this is kind of a play off of the first episode of Severance. The reader is best friends with Mark Scout's outie self, but secretly works with his severed self. They both have problems that need to be worked out. However the two would love to forget. Mark wants to forget grieving for his late wife and what he's been doing with his best friend. And his best friend would just like to forget everything in her life, including lying to Mark, her best friend about her job. Which he would probably kill her if he found out. Sorry, I suck at summaries.
There was a loud beeping sound, so you knew that morning was starting. But it was strange, because your alarm was your cell phone. You didn’t have an actual alarm clock. So that could only mean one thing. You did it again. You spent the night at Mark’s house again. Not in the, we had too many drinks watching shows and movies. Nope, you ended up in his bed. Again. This wasn’t the first time and this wasn’t the second time. It felt wrong on both your end and his end, but you both needed somebody to cling to. The man in the bed next to you let out a deep breathe, more like a sigh. So you knew that he was also awake. You knew that there was no use in saying anything; you both knew what happened. Also you both knew that it would probably happen again
“Morning,” Mark mumbled from his side of the bed.
“Morning,” you echoed as you sat up so you could get ready to go back to your own home and get ready for your job at Lumon.
“Are you alright?” Mark asked as he started to get moving and started to sit up in bed as well.
Were you okay? You asked yourself, sarcastically. Of course you weren’t okay, you had been sleeping with your best friend on and off for about a year and a half, and he was still very much grieving his dead wife. So no, you were not okay. You felt guilty, small, and gross. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You lied with a convincing enough smile. “You?” You looked at Mark over your shoulder.
“Oh yeah, I’m great.” He showed you a smile. But you knew that he was a liar too. “Are you going out for more job hunting?” Mark asked, resting his back against the head board.
That’s another thing you were lying about, but only to your best friend and his sister. Who may as well also be your sister from how much time you spent with her.
“Yeah, I just haven’t been able to find anything.” But little did Mark know, you were also an employee if the hollowed Severed floor of Lumon Industries. This was something you could never, ever tell Mark or Devon. They would kill you, but thanks to the secrecy of the job neither would ever find out.
“I’m sure you’ll find something. Just have to keep looking.” Mark stretched the rest of his sleep away and forced himself to get out of bed and ready for.
“Yeah,” you said like you weren’t even listening. You just kept playing with the fabric of the comforter. “I’ll just get out of your hair because I mean you have to get ready for work and I have things.” That being said you grabbed your jeans from the floor along with your bra and sweater and socks and began to get dressed.
“Am I going to see you later for Ricken’s ‘no dinner’ dinner thing?” Mark asked as he tied his tie before reaching for his suit blazer.
“I don’t even know what ‘no dinner’ dinner is? It just sounds like a group therapy session.” You joked, walking over to the bedroom door to make your way to your coat which you had left in Mark’s kitchen. “But they both invited me and you’ll be there so it's not like I’ll be by myself with all of Ricken’s friends.” Now, with your winter coat in hand you made your way to the front door. Trying to escape so you’d be on time for work, without it looking like you were trying to escape. Mark made his way over to you to open the front door for you and walk you out onto his front stoop.
“I’ll probably head to their house after work so I’ll see you there.” The tall man wrapped his strong, but slender arms around you in a warm embrace. To which you reciprocated by wrapping your arms around his waist. Stepping back, Mark pecked a kiss to the side of your head. “Don’t worry, I know you just have to be positive.” You scoffed to yourself at his statement. This was coming from the man who had never ending, forever there bags and dark circles under his eyes no matter how much sleep he got. So instead you just humored him and smiled and nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right. See you later, have fun at work.” Mark bid you a good day too, with a goodbye before closing the door. He went to start his day and you were about to go get ready for yours. Little did Mark know, you would be seeing each other again in a couple of hours. Just neither of you would remember.
“Good morning, Ms. Y/N.” The voice of Mark’s neighbor, Mrs. Selvig. Made you jump out of your skin. She was always an odd one.
“Good morning, Mrs. Selvig.” You smiled and waved at the woman as you walked to your car. Mrs. Selvig was odd, but she was always nice. You thought to yourself as you drove away to go to your own home to get ready for work.
It was 15 minutes after 9:00 in the morning. You were clean, fresh, dressed in you business casual, Lumon approved clothes. You had parked your car, made your way into the Lumon building. After you get the go-ahead from the front desk receptionist for the entire building, you get to your locker. You put your cell phone on the top shelf of the locker. Because of course, the highly classified floor did not allow cell phones. You changed out of your snow boots into different, but dressier shoes. Swapped your Lumon employee ID for your severed floor ID. Now you were ready for your innie’s day.
“Morning, sweetheart,” Judd the security guard for the regular floor, greeted you.
“Morning, Judd. How’s the day?” You ask the man to be polite as you take the position for him to scan you with his wand scanner.
“Can’t complain,” was replied. Accompanied with a polite smile. “Have a great day, Y/N.” He told you, now that you were clear of any weapons or written words. Judd pressed the elevator button for you.
“You too, Judd.” You walked into the elevator to officially begin your innie’s workday. Allowing you to escape from your life for 8 hours.
As the elevator went down, you felt your stresses and mistakes lift off of your shoulders. Speaking of shoulders, now they were all the way back, no longer tense, a small smile on your face. Now she was ready to get to work. Walking confidently out of the elevators you walked your way to the beautiful, white hallways of your workspace. Once you made it to the Data Refinement room your smile had doubled in size. Finally, your coworkers at last. “Good morning, all!” Your face all but beaming, walking to your computer and turning it on.
“Good morning,” Dylan mumbled into his hand. Which was holding his jaw up. He was clearly really excited about being at work right now. Whether he was the most productive one out of all four of you or not.
“Morning, Y/N.” A bright, cheery voice practically sang through your ears as a cup of coffee was placed in front of you.
“Thank you, Mark.” You smiled up at him. You swear the two of you got lost in each others eyes for a moment, but the moment quickly died when Mark moved away and toward the desk of his own.
“Is that a new shirt that you’re wearing, Y/N?” Mark’s head popped over the cubical wall. At first you were caught off guard by the question. Your hands were sweating, you could not recall a time where your hands have ever sweated before. You had to wipe your hands on your thigh in hopes that they would stop.
“I think so. My outie must have just bought it.” You shrugged and turned to your computer to work on the mysterious spreadsheets.
“Well, it looks very nice. Your outie has good taste.” You couldn't even think of a response fast enough. All you could think to do was quietly tell him thank you before returning to your work in front of you. Your cheeks were growing warm. Was that normal?
“Good morning, kids. What’s for dinner?” And in came Irving to officially start the day! Who knows what would unfold in your mysterious line of work!
So I did it. One Adam Scott fic so far. I started out with something for Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec because I love him and I will die on the hill that he looks like an adorable hedgehog. So I hope I delivered, and that people like it. I haven't really made a set decision on their relationship, so they could either be together or platonic. Readers choice on that one. I've just loved this character the longest so it was easier to start here.
I swear! I don't even see a difference! Ben Wyatt is a grumpy hedgehog!
For the past year and a half you had the privilege to work alongside Chris Trager and Ben Wyatt. Usually state auditors are only in pairs, but the government decided that you were too new to the scene. So your superiors thought it would be a good idea to put you with Bert and Ernie of State Auditing. Your bosses decided that Chris was too nice and got no work done, so at first they just paired him with Ben. When Ben was working alone he made people cry and received numerous death threats. So it was thought that pairing them together would be a good and productive compromise. But due to the two fighting like a married couple a majority of the time. So they asked you to step in, it was thought that since you were newer you could learn something from the two. But now that you were with them for almost two years you realized that your bosses just wanted you to be something of a mother and mediator for the two. However, you weren’t blind. While they could be annoying most of the time, hell all of the time. The three of you made a really good team.
It had been a little over 2 months since the three of you had moved (temporarily) to the small, but beautiful town of Pawnee Indiana. It had been a little over a month of the community government being shut down, which means that pretty much no one was in the government building. Except Ron Swanson, Leslie Knope. Who was slowly becoming a close friend of yours. Along with Chris, Ben, and yourself so the three of you could work on the budget for the town that was currently in the toilet. For lack of a better word.
9 o’clock in the morning had just passed recently and you had just walked out of a very early morning coffee date with Leslie which turned into her yet again trying to talk you into some how saving the Parks Department. You would’ve loved nothing more than to save the most welcoming people in the town. But your hands were tied, plus you knew that if you tried to bring it up to your business partners they would just shut you down. Especially Ben. Of course Chris would, also. Just Chris would be nicer about it, and you didn’t feel like facing the reality that Ben would present to you. Even though you knew the reality of the situation.
“Good morning,” you greeted the two men as you walked into the office that the three of you had to share.
“Good and bright morning to you, too F/N L/N!” Chris said to you as you saw the man doing squats in super tight spandex shorts and a spandex shirt.
“Well, it’s too early for that,” you commented as you set your bag and second cup of coffee on your desk. You spotted Ben smirking at your comment out of the corner of your eye.
“Some one hasn’t had their coffee intake this morning.” Said Ben as he worked on something on his desktop.
“Of course I have, that’s why I’m able to talk to you guys.” You smiled sarcastically. Of course you loved them, but sometimes Chris was a lot in the mornings. “However there’s no such thing as too much coffee.”
It was now nearing the middle point of your day. Chris had gone out for yet another run. While Ben and yourself were working together on the spreadsheet budget for each department that worked within the building.
Budgeting was never fun for anyone, but if you left Ben to do it by himself he would slash away at almost everything. It was also why Chris conveniently went for runs when it was time to make said budget. He left the hard work to the two of you. Not in the lazy coworker way, he worked on them sometimes. He just made the process last longer with all of his positivity.
Now that Ben and you were getting down to the nitty-gritty of the parks department. You had to say you were crushed. The biggest obstacle in saving the departments was to lay off someone who you were starting to care very much for.
“No,” you huffed. Sitting back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I’m sorry, but it’s the best way to help the department.” Ben said dimly. But you knew that he knew what you were thinking. He always did. Half the time you couldn’t tell if the two of you were just coworkers or something more. Because one half of the time he was doing considerate things like reading your mind or getting you your morning coffee order. The other half he acted a complete dork. A cute dork, but still.
“Why would you want to get rid of the one person that seems to actually care about their job and the government as a whole? Plus you know she’d never go willingly.”
“You know as much as I do. Some hard decisions are gonna have to be made here.” Ben told you, starting to become serious Ben. Almost to the point of talking down to you. You knew that was never what he intended, but that was how it came across sometimes. All you could do was keep your arms crossed over your chest and roll your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. You know this. This is why you should never become attached to the towns and cities that we go to, but somehow you always do.”
“Because these are real people Ben. With real jobs and real families.” You stood up for yourself. “I understand the harshness of this situation. I understand that things will have to be done. But you don’t have to sound so…Ben about it.”
“What does that even mean?” Ben asked you as he leaned forward in his seat, clearly getting defensive.
“Great. Now the hedgehog is getting angry.” You mumbled under your breath as you turned back toward the paper work in front of you to continue working. Out of the corner of your eye, Ben was opening and closing his mouth like a fish. Before finally settling on words.
“A hedgehog?” Ben leaned forward so you were forced to look him in the eye. His eyes were so squinted that you couldn’t tell if he had closed his eyes at first. He couldn’t decide if what you said was offensive or a compliment. The way you had said it sounded like both.
“Yes, you look like a hedgehog. With your spiky hair and your face, you look like a hedgehog. And right now, you are being a grumpy ass hedgehog.” You got up from the communal table in the middle of the office to storm back over to your desk to work on your own in silence. But you stopped when you saw Ben smiling up at you. “What?” You huffed in frustration.
“You just basically called me cute.” A blush immediately formed on your cheeks.
“I did not, I compared you to an animal.”
“An animal that I know for a fact that you think is cute because while i was trying to work the other day you and Chris were looking at an article about the cutest mammals in the world and when you saw hedgehogs on it you said they were cute and made your office desktop wallpaper a hedgehog.” Ben started to slightly chuckle because he knew that he was making you blush.
“Oh, shut up and get back to work,” you rolled your eyes and chuckled along with him just so this awkward moment would end.
“I’m technically your boss, you can’t tell me what to do.” Ben bantered with you.
“Ok, fine.” You gathered your laptop and copious amount of papers in front of you and moved back to your desk. “You stay there and keep making that stupid hedgehog face and slashing away at those budgets and I will work over at my own desk. By myself where nobody can bother me.” You plopped the paper work onto a clean spot on your desk and dropped down into your chair. Typing your username and password into your work desktop. You rolled your eyes, smirked, and blushed even deeper. “Stop staring at me.” You told him flatly as you waited for your computer to boot up. You heard a deep chuckle and saw Ben shake his head, but thankfully your spikey haired friend kept the rest of his comments to himself and now you could get your work done in peace.
Question! If I wrote for Adam Scott characters would anyone be interested at all? Particularly Mark Scout from Severance. But I’ve learned recently that I love this man and it’s all I can think about!!!
He knocked on the door that night while I was lying in bed. I had thankfully gotten Meghan back to sleep rather quickly and was staring up into the dark when he got to the door. I stayed quiet, pretending I was asleep. He tried a few times to get me to let him in, calling my name, saying he was sorry. But he eventually gave up and left me alone. I tossed and turned all night, never really truly falling asleep. That’s why I was up when the sun rose.
I got out of bed and did my morning routine. Meghan woke up after my shower, so I changed and nursed her before taking her downstairs. Corrine was already up and about working, so I sat Meghan in her highchair and grabbed a piece of toast. I kissed her head and said goodbye to Corrine, before I headed to County, purposefully leaving before Carter even woke up.
“Have you heard from him?”
Abby looked up at me from the chart in her hand, immediately knowing who I was talking about. “No. He’s not picking up at his hotel.” She paused. “Have you tried?”
“Once. But I didn’t want to push my luck since I knew you had probably already called.” This time I paused for a moment. “I heard about what happened with you guys. I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Thanks.”
There was a weird, awkward tension between us. I hadn’t asked Carter about what happened between them at Doc Magoo’s that night, about what I saw or at least thought I saw. I was too scared of his answer. “Well.....I should get back to work.”
“Do you not like me?” I stopped at her question. “I mean, we seemed at least cordial when I was a med student. And I’ve seen parts of you only certain people have.” I couldn’t help but laugh. She was definitely right about that. “Is it Luka?”
“Oh, no. No.” I stuttered. “I mean kind of. I care about him and want to make sure he’s okay.” I paused and bit my lip. “You and Carter have been getting closer too. I saw you the other night at Doc Magoo’s. And I see you guys talking to each other a lot more lately.”
Her eyebrows shot up and I watched her face go through a myriad of expressions before it finally landed on understanding. “Oh. Oh, I see. Evie, Carter and I aren’t doing anything. He would never do that to you.” She paused, and I could see the gears turning to try and find the right way to say the next part to me. “Carter and I are friends and I’m.....helping him out. It’s not my place to tell you what we’re doing, but I promise we aren’t sneaking around behind your back.”
“Okay.” Was all I said, but tucked the information away for later. Abby looked like she was telling the truth; years of being a nurse helped me learn to read people. But now an even bigger mystery had opened up. “I’ll, uh, see you around.” I simply said, before returning back to admit. I tried to shake everything off, but it was hard.
“God, this board is a mess.” I groaned, looking up at the growing list of patients and their complaints.
“We’re backed up.” Randi said, moving papers. “I guess that’s what happens when one doctor doesn’t show up, and Peter Benton is in charge of the ER.”
“Dr. Benton’s in charge today?”
I turned to see Carter standing there, having finally arrived for his shift. “Yeah. By order of Dr. Romano.” Randi said, rolling her eyes. He nodded and bit the inside of his cheek.
“Hey Evie, we really need—”
“Here.” I told him, handing him the patient chart of the boy I just triaged. “Kid came in with a laceration to the hand. He’s in the suture room, needs stitches.”
“Evie, come on. Can we please just—”
“Cut looked pretty nasty. You should get in there.” I motioned my head down the hall, trying to convey in my face that I didn’t want to talk. Carter sighed and took the chart from me, before heading down the hall. I shook my head and took a minute before I turned to the board and put Carter’s initials by the patient’s name.
“Excuse me.” I turned, coming face to face with an older woman. “Excuse me, has my grandson, Trent Larson, been brought in?”
“Yes. Dr. Carter just went in to check him out and give him stitches.” I said, pointing my pen down the hall towards the suture room.
“I need to talk to Dr. Carter alone right now.”
“He’ll come out as soon as he’s seen your grandson.”
“No, I need to talk to him before he treats him.” She came closer to me and lowered her voice. “My grandson has HIV.”
My eyes went wide. The kid hadn’t disclosed that information when I triaged him. “He didn’t say anything when they brought him in.”
“He doesn’t know.”
My eyebrows felt like they shot up into my hairline. “Okay. Follow me. I’ll go get Dr. Carter.” I led her down the hall and had her wait while I peeked my head into the room. “Dr. Carter, can you step out for a second?”
“Yeah, after I suture this.” He said, preparing to put his gloves on.
“No, it's important.” I said, trying to convey some seriousness.
He sighed. “I'll be right back.” He told the boy. “Don't pick your nose.” He followed me out. “What?”
“The boy's grandmother. She wants to talk with you.
“Why don't you just bring her in?”
“No, no, she asked to see you alone.” I pulled him into the hall and gestured towards the woman before I walked back to admit. A few minutes later, Carter walked up to admit and grabbed the phone, riffling through a patient file.
“Thanks for catching me when you did.” He said, placing the phone to his ear.
“No problem.” I replied, trying to give him something resembling a smile.
Using my patients as an excuse, I left his orbit and fell back into the rush of the busy ER. I gave medicine, restocked the carts and closets, and helped some in triage. It was probably cowardly of me, staying away from him, not talking about what happened. But I was still mad and a part of me inside was saying I had the right of be mad, especially after everything that happened. But then, of course, there was the other part of me that hated being mean to him, screaming at me to go make things right; to be an adult and go talk. But the hospital was not the place to have this conversation. I couldn’t win and was definitely developing a bad headache.
Elizabeth pulled me in later to help with her and Mark’s heart patient they had brought in, so I tried to put in all my focus on that. I had ran to get a transducer tube for Elizabeth and on my way back to the trauma room, was stopped by Connie.
“Hey Evie, you’re headed back to trauma, right?” Connie asked.
“Yeah.”
“Give these test results to Carter, please. He’s with a patient and I have to change out four IVs.”
“Sure.” I took the report from her and sped my walking up back towards Trauma One. Thankfully Carter was outside in the hall, and I could do a quick pass off without talking to him. “Here.” I said, handing Carter the test results. “Lab results for an Emma Miller. Connie told me to give these to you.”
“Thanks Evie. Hey can we—”
“Can’t. Have to get them this transducer tube.”
“But—”
But I was already walking away into the trauma room. “Here’s the transducer tube.” I said, handing it to Elizabeth. We worked to get him stabilized, and despite things not looking to good in the beginning, he was coming back around by some miracle. “Take a deep breath.” Mark instructed as he listened through his stethoscope.
“MAP is 78 with the pump.” I told him.
“Is that good or bad?” The patient asked.
“It took you out of heart failure and got you off your breathing tube.” Mark replied, putting it back around his neck.
“Sats are up to 99.”
“Okay, let's get him on five liters, nasal cannula. Evie, why don't you grab a blood‐gas kit?” I nodded and went to the cabinet, finding the kit quickly.
“Where's Janet?” He asked as another nurse handed the cannula to Mark.
“She's trying to get a clerk from City Hall to come issue a marriage license.”
“That's crazy.”
“People in love do crazy things.”
“I wanted to wait for a transplant' so I could chase her down the aisle. I didn't want her to marry a cardiac cripple.”
“If you get a heart, she won't.”
“If one's available. If the tissues match. How long can I last on this pump?”
“Couple of weeks.”
“Pretty lousy odds.”
“They were worse when you were having a heart attack, and the chopper was going down.”
I stayed back, listening to the two men talk, before I stepped in and checked his blood gas. Things were looking okay, at least for right now and the room became less filled. I monitored his breathing and kept track of his vitals, while Mark went to go find the man’s fiancée and the hospital priest. I was in the middle of checking his IV and medication drip when the trauma room next door burst open, and chaos began. I looked over, seeing Kerry working on what looked like a teenager. Chuny walked in, going to grab something from the cabinet.
“What’s going on?”
“Poor kid. Carter’s patient from earlier. Got hit by a car.” She found what she was looking for and went back to the other room. I followed her and caught something out of the corner of my eye.
Carter was standing outside the neighboring trauma, staring in, looking helpless to do anything.
It was crazy to think I was attending a wedding in the ER. But crazier things had happened. I smiled at the patient and his bride as they listened to the chaplain go through the ceremony. It wouldn’t be legal, but I knew to them it still mattered. As he started talking about union and joy, Carter walked in from next door, his face showing how broken he felt. He made quick eye contact with me before going to the cabinet and pulling out a sterile drape. I looked through the window and saw the nurse disconnect the vent tube. The poor kid didn’t make it.
I quietly excused myself and followed Carter. I waited by the door as he carefully laid the drape over the deceased boy’s body. Chuny walked a sobbing girl into the room, an arm securely around her. “You can stay as long as you want, okay?” She told her before turning to leave.
“Emma, I am so sorry.” Carter told her as he adjusted the drape, his voice so sincere.
“Get out of here.” The girl hissed.
“Emma.”
“It’s your fault.”
Carter looked down at the boy before he nodded and left the room. I stayed behind a moment, watching as the poor girl walked up to the side of the gurney. I took a deep breath and followed after Carter, seeing him sign and drop off a chart at admit before going into the lounge. Kerry looked like she was ready to follow him; she had to have noticed his demeanor.
“Dr. Weaver.” I called out. She turned to me. “I got him.” The red head nodded and gave me a small smile.
I walked into the lounge and stood by the door as he took off his lab coat and hung it in his locker. “Hi.” I said, my voice small. He turned back to me, his jacket in his hand, ready to throw it on. “I know I haven't been the nicest today." I paused. "Can we talk? Please? Maybe go get dinner for once without our little shadow?”
Carter sighed as he pulled on his jacket and grabbed his bag. “I have a meeting at 9.”
“Then we’ll be quick.” I paused. “You’ll make it. I promise.”
“Uh, yeah. I’d really like that.”
“Great. I just need to clock out and we can go.” I turned, but paused and looked back at him. “Please don’t leave. Though I wouldn’t blame you for the payback.”
He scoffed and put on a small smile. “I won’t. I promise.”
I don’t know if he did it on purpose or accident, but he took us to the burger place we had gone to on our first date. As he ran inside to get the food, I couldn’t help but remember that day. Normally, I was a plain burger girl, just cheese and maybe a couple of condiments. But being 11 weeks pregnant had made me insatiable for my cravings, because those were the only things I could stomach at the time. We had sat in the car while we ate, two massive cheeseburgers with all the toppings in front of me along with fries and a milkshake. And he had watched me eat every bit of it and didn’t judge me. Just smiled and offered me part of his meal when somehow I wasn’t full.
I sighed at the memory as I leaned against the window, looking outside at the world. The car door opened and I jumped a little, turning to him. “I hope I got it right.” He said, sliding into the driver’s seat and handing me the takeout bag while he balanced a drink tray and closed the door, locking it for good measure. I pulled out the food slowly. Three burgers, two of which were for him, a giant fry to share, and lots of ketchup packets. “I hope you’re okay with vanilla.” He added, handing me one of the cups. “Sadly, they didn’t have chocolate.”
“Thanks.” I said, and took it from him. He set up his own food in his lap as I pulled back the paper on my burger. Plain, but with cheese and some condiments. I couldn’t help but smile. He remembered. We ate in silence for a while, our hands occasionally brushing as we reached into the center console for the fries. When I was done, I crumbled up the paper that had been around my burger and put it in the bag, cleaning up before I finally turned to him.
“Are you and Abby together?” I asked, looking directly at him. He tensed and slowly swallowed the bite of burger he had just taken. “I saw you together at Doc Magoo’s and you’ve been sneaking around talking a lot. If it’s true, can you just please tell me.” I braced myself as I watched him put down his second burger and wipe his face.
“Abby is my sponsor.”
“Oh.” His sponsor. His NA sponsor. I hadn’t expected that. “Oh okay.”
“Are you and Luka a thing?” He asked, looking right at me this time.
“No.”
He nodded his head. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I-I just......” He paused and closed his eyes. “I just don’t know how to do this. I want to be able to just fall back into how it was with you. I want to be your friend and your partner again. But I’ve messed everything up.” He paused. “I know you don’t trust me. Especially with Meghan.”
“Carter....”
“I should have told you where I was going. I’m sorry I didn’t. And I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
“Thank you for apologizing.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. “And I trust you, I do. It’s just going to take some time for us to find a comfortable place again.” I reached up with my other hand and cupped his face, using my thumb to stroke his cheek. “But I’m willing to work on it if you are.”
He nodded and let out a deep breath. “Yes. I want that. Badly.”
“Then we’ve got to start talking to each other. Not keeping things in.”
“I’m sorry.” He said again as he pulled up to his meeting.
“This is the second time you’ve apologized since dinner. I forgive you.”
He nodded and put the Jeep in park. The car doors shut loudly as we both got out. I walked over to him and crossed my arms. Carter looked like he didn’t know what to say, so I cleared my throat. “I’m gonna go find somewhere to sit while I wait for you to finish. How long does this normally last?”
“About an hour.”
“Ok, great. I’ll pick you up right out here.” I gently squeezed his arm before turning to get in the driver’s side.
“Would you...... would you want to go in with me?”
I stopped getting into the car and turned around. “I-I thought that wasn’t allowed.”
“Well, technically it’s an open meeting, so anyone can come.” Carter said putting his hands in his pockets. “But, if-if you don’t want to, I understand.”
“Uh, no, um.” I stuttered, not willing to let another chance to connect slip through my fingers. “I’ll come with you. Just let me grab my purse.” I turned back to the car and reached over the seat, grabbing my bag. I slung it over my shoulder and closed the Jeep. When I turned back, Carter had his hand out. I looked down at it and then up to him, a sense of pleading on his face. I gave him a small smile and took his hand.
As we started walking, I felt him squeeze my hand, almost like reassurance that I was actually there.
Mark and I walked through the curtain area, surrounded by injured beauty queens. They had all come in at the start of my shift, so I had mainly been in charge of their triage care along with a couple other nurses. “Today for you my dear Dr. Greene, I have a bevy of lovely ladies for you to choose from. A bunch of beauty contestants are in the salon getting final touches, the worker mixed the wrong chemicals and boom.”
“Who’s worst?”
“Audrey Hoffman.” I said, gestured towards her bed. “Miss Skokie. She’s got lacerations, partial thickness burns on her legs, and smoke inhalation.” Mark went off to check on Audrey while I went to finish cleaning a head lac. As I moved away from the patient, finishing up, I felt a hand on my lower back.
“How’s it going in here?” Carter asked as I turned to him.
“Oh, you know, dressing wounds, giving breathing treatments.” I paused and started chuckling. “Got a little something...” I smiled and reached into his hair, pulling out a feather before I flicked it away from me.
“Thanks.” He responded with a matching smile.
“Yeah, I heard about your bird problem. Sorry I wasn’t there to see. Been dealing with beauty queens all morning.” I gestured out to the curtain area filled with different woman wearing a variety of beaded and sparkly outfits.
“What happened?”
“Salon explosion. They were all getting pageant ready when it happened. I’ve been triaging and cleaning wounds since the start of my shift.” I rubbed my forehead and groaned. “How are you doing going back to working traumas?”
“Okay. Reacclimating, but okay.”
“Good. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I can only have two patients at a time, so I should be okay. Besides, I wouldn’t want to pull you away from the girls.” He winked and smiled, before he went off to grab a new chart.
We were notified of a GSW trauma coming in, and as one of the only main nurses available, it was my turn to step in. Which was fine. The beauty queens were all taken care of at the moment, they would just need some checkups in a little while. They were already too busy trying to salvage their pageant prep to even notice.
I walked through the sliding doors and met Luka outside. I was taken aback at first; he had a huge smile on his face. “What are you smiling at?” I asked as I quickly rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to fight off the cold. “Jonesing for a good trauma?”
Luka chuckled. “Uh, no.” He smiled and turned to me. “Abby and I are going on a date tonight.”
“What? When did this happen?”
“She just asked me.”
“No, I mean you two liking each other.”
“Uh, I don’t know. Recently, I guess.”
“Well, I’m happy for you two. I hope it goes well.”
Sirens filled the air as the ambulance pulled into the bay. We got the patient out on the rig and into the ER, heading straight to Trauma One to beginning our assessments and start treatment. Things were getting very bloody very fast. And to top it all off, this poor girl was just a teenager. I was starting at IV and beginning to take blood for tests when Carter came in to help out.
“Type and cross for four.” Luka ordered, holding up the X-ray that had just been done. “Start two units of O-neg on the rapid infuser.”
“What happened?” Carter asked as he pushed through the door.
“Multiple GSWs.” He held up the scan so he could see. “One to the chest.”
“Looks like a hemopneumothorax on the right.”
“Five hundred cc’s out.” I called out, holding up the Thoro-Seal.
The alarm on the monitor started going off. “Lost the pulse! Starting compression.” Carter yelled out.”
“We need to crack her chest.” Luka said, putting on gloves.
“Right-sided GSW is an indication for the sternal saw.” Carter began pumping on her chest. “Can I do it?”
“Next time, Carter. Ten blade.” I handed the scalpel, pouring betadine on the girl’s chest before Luka made a cut and then handed him the saw. “She needs a central line.”
“I’ll do it.” Carter nodded, almost reminding me of an eager puppy. I traded places with another nurse and took over bagging the patient as the two men worked like a well-oiled machine, Carter expertly placing the line and Luka quickly and efficiently opening her chest, beginning to make repairs.
“Looks like a small caliber GSW to the right ventricle.” Luka informed. “Okay, that should do it.” They finished up and Carter shook his head.
“Heart’s not filling.”
“She’s had five units.”
“You need more volume.”
“Prep the paddles.”
“Ooh, can’t shock an empty heart.” Carter quickly said, moving to the other side of the gurney. “You’ll never get her back.”
“Run in another two units.”
“Give me some 0 silk.” Carter asked another nurse, grabbing a forcep. “Hold compressions.”
“What are you doing, Carter?”
He began work on the heart, sewing in a stitch. “Back suture. Alright, keep traction on that.” He handed Luka the end of the silk and me the forcep. “I’m gonna check the back side of the heart.”
“What do you see?”
“Exit wound to the left ventricle. Give me 2.0 silk.” I handed him back the instrument and watched in awe as he worked, a huge smile on my face. We all worked in tandem as he sewed repaired the damage, reminding me of his surgical days.
“Charge to 20.” Luka called out.
“Okay, now. Cut it.” Carter ordered and I followed. They each took a paddle.
“Clear!”
“Still V-fib.”
“Okay, charge to 30. Clear.” And we all watched as her heart started beating again.
“Got a rhythm.” Carter said, satisfaction on his face. “Sinus tach.”
“Got a pulse.”
"Nice job, Carter.” Luka admitted. “Notify the OR. She’s got a septal defect they need to repair.”
“Dr. Kovac,” Lily said, standing in the doorway. “Mrs. Danzer’s having more chest pain, dropped her pressure to 90.”
“I’ll be right there. You gonna take her up?”
“Mm-hmm.” Carter hummed, already getting things ready for transport as I switched with another nurse and went for the phone.
“Sterile saline dressings and hang the FFP.” Luka finished his last order before leaving the room. I turned to Carter, the phone up to my ear.
“Good job Carter.” I said, my heart filling with pride,
He looked up at me, a big smile on his face. “Thanks.”
I called up to the OR, notifying them we would be on our way soon while Carter cleaned and prepped for transport. I handed him the chart once we were ready to go. “What was her last BP?”
“100/60.”
“Okay, let’s go.” Carter exclaimed, grabbing his white coat, which I hadn’t even realized he had taken off.
“I’ll go grab the drug box.” I added, taking the chart out of the room. I walked towards the drug lock up, and had my hand around the handle when three shots rang out. My body stiffened before I quickly took off, box forgotten as I ran back towards the trauma room. As I reached it, Haleh and Lily were already there, and Carter was slowly standing up from behind the gurney.
“Oh my god!”
I ran around to him and walked him away from the gurney. His clothes and face were covered in blood. I removed his trauma glasses and started checking him out. He shook his head, still in shock. “You won’t get her back. Blew her brains out.” He scoffed, talking to Kerry and Luka who had come in after to try and help the patient.
“Come on.” I whispered and escorted him from the room as he stripped off his bloody gloves.
As I gently cleaned off Carter’s face, the image of the last time we were like this, in this room, flashed through my head. My heart clenched as I expected Lucy to come barreling through the door to tell Carter about a patient. I was so lost in thought I didn’t realize Carter was holding onto my hips until I felt the squeeze. I looked at him and we both just stared at each other.
“Where’d you go?” He whispered.
“Uh, I don’t know.” I lied, shaking my head. “Just zoned out.” I finished cleaning his face, moving to his neck. He had changed into a plain T-shirt and scrub pants, his bloody lab coat lying over the ledge of the counter beside us. The door to the bathroom opened, Luka walking.
“Hi.” I said softly, putting down my towel.
He nodded at me and walked around, looking at Carter. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.”
“They found the shooter.”
“Good.”
“Only fifteen years old.”
“Jeez.” I groaned, shaking my head.
“Why don’t you two go home?” Luka asked, his eyes on me and then Carter.
“I’ll be alright.” Carter sighed.
“Carter....” I started.
“Go home. Take your girlfriend and your daughter home and rest. You’ve probably seen enough trauma for one day.” Luka put a hand on my mine before turning to leave. “I’ll tell Kerry and Haleh.” He ended with before leaving the bathroom.
“I really do think we should go get Meghan and go home.” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Why? Because Luka said it would be a good idea?”
I furrowed my brows. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. Just seems like Dave isn’t the only guy you’re buddies with nowadays.”
I sighed and tried hard not to roll my eyes. “Carter, that’s not it. You just witnessed someone get murdered. I think it would do us both some good to go home.
“I don’t need to go home.”
“Carter please.” I grabbed his face and made him look at me. “Please, can we go home? Not because Luka is telling you too. Because I am the one asking.” I ran my thumb over his cheek, my eyes pleading for him to reconsider. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded.
“Okay.”
“Thank you.” I whispered and kissed his cheek. “I’m going to go get Meghan. We’ll leave in ten.” He nodded and moved back so I could hop off of the counter.
“You three are home early.” Corrine said, caring a basket of laundry through the foyer as we walked into the home. “Would you like me to start lunch?”
“No thanks.” I said, offering her a smile as I adjusted Meghan on my hip. “We’re good. Thank you Corrine.” The woman nodded and went about her business. A little hand grabbed at my neck, Meghan’s tired signal. She had been fussy since we got in the car, almost like she knew what was going on, and it was only getting worse. “I’ve got to get her upstairs. She’s usually never this late for her nap.”
Carter nodded and kissed Meghan on the head. I tried to walk away from him, but Meghan’s cries got louder, and she reached for her dad, her mouth attempting to saying ‘Da-da’ but still coming out in babbles. Carter looked at her with soft eyes. “Why don’t I come help you?” He suggested.
I smiled and nodded. “Thanks.
A soft, small hand to the face woke me up.
Meghan had refused to fall asleep anywhere but my bed when Carter and I tried to get her to nap. It felt a little weird having him sit on the bed as he rocked her and rubbed her back, me lying beside him. But eventually with a full stomach and some comfort from her favorite person, she had no choice but to pass out. Carter had put her down beside me, just watching her, stroking her face, his eyes not leaving her. I must have passed out, because when I opened my eyes next, he was gone, and Meghan was sitting up beside me.
“Hi sweetie. I bet you feel better now.” Meghan started babbling and hit her hands on my chest, pulling at the collar of my shirt. I scoffed and shook my head. “You know I’ll never understand how I’m the one that feeds you, and yet you prefer your dad.”
After feeding her again, realizing I was hungry myself, I walked down the hall to his bedroom, assuming he might have also decided a couple extra hours of sleep would be good. Maybe we could enjoy a late lunch if he hadn’t already eaten. However, when I knocked on the door, I found the place empty. “Where is daddy, huh?” I asked, bouncing her up and down. “Let’s go check downstairs.” As soon as my feet hit the foyer, Corrine came around the corner. “You wouldn’t happen to know where Carter is, would you?”
“Dr. Carter left a while ago ma’am.”
“What? W-Well did he say where he was going?”
“No ma’am.”
I shook my head and turned to go back upstairs.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I paused. “Sorry sweetie.”
The front door opened, and I shot up from the couch. I walked into the foyer, my bare feet cold on the tile floor. Carter’s back was turned as he tried to quietly close the door. I re-wrapped my robe around my body and crossed my arms. I cleared my throat, which scared him. He jumped a little and turned. “Oh. It’s you.” He said and finished closing the door.
“Where have you been? You weren’t answering your phone.”
“I, uh, I went back to the hospital.”
“For six hours? I know they wouldn’t let you stay that long.”
“I went to a meeting after.” Carter said, shouldering his bag as he walked past me.
“So, you couldn’t have called to tell me where you were? I was worried John.”
“Oh John. I usually only get John if I’m in trouble.”
“You’re damn right you’re in trouble. I didn’t know where you were.”
“Well sorry mom, I didn’t know I had to tell you where I was 24 hours a day.”
“Are you serious right now?” Carter scoffed and shook his head. “If you’re trying to pick a fight with me right now, that’s really low.”
“Maybe I am!” He yelled and turned. “Evie, you knew where I was. There are only two places I can go nowadays and that’s either to work or my meetings. So, I don’t think I should have to tell you where I’m going when those are the only two places I’m allowed to be beside this house!”
A cry came from upstairs. Carter pinched his nose, and I cleared my throat to keep myself from crying. “If that’s what you want, then fine.” I said, my voice cracking a little. I turned and started up the stairs.
“Evie wait—”
“Don’t worry about it John. I heard you loud and clear. I won’t worry about you anymore.”
And with that, I ascended the stairs and made my way to my room, trying not to cry as I comforted my daughter.
I am on season 12 of ER and this man here grew on me more than I thought he would. I mean yeah I started watching this show because of The Pitt and Noah Wyle. But Mark Greene wormed his way into my heart. Now he’s been gone and I’m having withdrawals especially now that Carter is basically gone. Tell me guys, is it worth it to finish the show I need hope. Because I’m about to just restart over to watch this man!
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