Another Little Rat Cave

NSFW alt Content is nsfw and silly things Feral He/They

[hukidamari-sketch]

(rkgk)

[impermanent-rat]

How the fuck am I not supposed to feel like an abomination who is repulsive of the only fucking people who want to even pretend to touch me are across the country? “No you’re so cute” shut the fuck up that’s so clearly not the case and the evidence bears it out.

And in the OFF chance someone does decide to entertain me it’s temporary. They don’t want anything other than a one time hit, literally just a warm body in the room. Nothing of substance, no really seeing me and wanting. I am not desired, I am appreciated in a moment.

[unawakening-float07]

[impermanent-rat]

The urge inside that keeps saying “you have to be hotter to start dating” that keeps me from even talking to anyone I’m attracted too in fear that they won’t feel the same is so disgusting. I truly hate this feeling so much and know it’s bullshit.

It does feel like if you don’t have a body that is desired you’re just screwed or lucky. Which also is just projected body shaming, like that’s cringe to even think frankly. Like any body can be desired, so I know the thoughts are wrong.

But like, when I see all my friends who are in relationships they’re so beautiful and successful that it’s hard to see that if you aren’t those things you won’t find actual real love. And maybe it’s all shallow on the other side but I would give it all up for someone to see me and want us enough to stay. I’m so tired of the temporary, even though I do love myself and continue to work on myself there’s only so much self love can do for you. I wanna hold and be held.

[impermanent-rat]

“Being in a relationship won’t fix all your problems you know” sounds like you’re trying to get your gob smacked.

[impermanent-rat]

I am nauseous with jealousy at the love you have and the love you receive. Truly you are drowning in an ocean I just want to get even my ankles wet in. You are so desired and safe in the love you have at home and I am clawing at the fucking walls to be seen and yearned for by someone I yearn for in return.

You are so lucky, so fucking lucky.

[vzr05177]

[htx-vers-deactivated20210114]

[rabidgay-deactivated20240919]

[ponpictures]

“Enjoying the view?” Overdue sketch commission for ShibainYou

[powergayxxcd]

For more follow @xxxstudssss

@dailydoseofxstud

[mewwon]

*thru gritted teeth* I’m vibing.

[hotboystiedup]

OnlyFans is the social platform revolutionizing creator and fan connections. The site is inclusive of artists and content creators from all

[pawbeanies]

my bravest knighttt... come hither ..... mmmwah !! ok you are dismissed

[impermanent-rat]

I’m very frustrated and need sexualizing attention and all my regulars are either busy or uninterested.

[impermanent-rat]

I wish I could rip you out. It hurts to be close.

[impermanent-rat]

I’ve had dreams about you, us, every day for weeks. Let’s be honest though, it’s been months. I’m happy now where I am and who I’m with and I’m sure you haven’t even noticed, you seem happy too and I’m just grateful we get to be friends. I’m grateful we get to talk and hang out. My chest still hurts sometimes from how much I like you, fully refusing to use the other L word or I don’t know what will happen.

I’m happy too, I’ve got an amazing life right now. I just kick myself for not being here sooner where we might have had a chance. But I don’t want to ruin anything, I’m grateful it’s this at least and hope that my heart follows my head soon and realizes it’s just going to be a beautiful friendship and nothing more. I have been distant and I know it’s confusing but I can’t say why cause I don’t want to ruin this. I love who I love and you love who you love and we can only ever be in the same room, nothing else.