IDK, What To Put Here

[cuppimagines]

I really like the idea of humans in sci fi scenarios being pretty rare, and also super desirable to fuck by other alien species. So imagine being hired on a ship of alien scientists as an assistant, specifically to a massive alien captain who resembled a shark in certain ways, from the body patterns to the tails and rows of teeth, except that he had a few glowing spots on his shoulders and fingers. The second you two are alone together, and you’re ready to start work on whatever he needs, he cuts the noble and polite demeanor and tells you to bed over his desk and try not to squeal too much

[cottoncanyon-deactivated2018012]

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

[sailed-0ut]

Please don’t hesitate

[imhellafit-personal-deactivated]

1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there

[shysweetthing]

(Don’t give me $599.99)

That’s not the right IRS rule.

$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.

The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99–more than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and there’s no taxation or reporting requirement.

If we’re choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99. 

Go. Do it.

[capriciousarsonist]

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99

[larkfeather1153]

If you have epilepsy/photosensitivity, you may want to avoid the Quick Reblog thing on mobile for the time being. For some reason the green confirmation bar at the bottom of the screen is now flashing rapidly (basically strobing) whenever I Quick Reblog a post, and Tumblr Support hasn't gotten back to me about it besides the standard list of basic troubleshooting.

[ufoend]

MY CAT IS GOING TO DIE IN 72 HOURS IF I CAN NOT PAY A VET

My wife and Is cat Yevgeny (Siamese on the left in the second pic) has been unable to urinate all day. He is howling and crying out in pain. Online and the vet ER says he HAS to be taken in or HE WILL DIE within a few days.

I cant handle this. All I want to do is to save him but I can not afford what the vet said is 140 consultation and then 75 percent of whatever the cost is which can be upwards of a few grand. Please I am begging anyone to help me take him in I would do anything. I have called every resource and I do not have anything. I am denied for care credit and scratch pay. PLEASE he is only 3 years old. Please boost this. I cant lose my baby. I've been sobbing all day hes in so much pain. I would do anything.

My cashapp is $micahsage

My venmo is @sicknng

My paypal is [email protected]

If anyone wanted to pay the vet directly that's also an option. I have never been so scared in my life please help him

[ufoend]

I have the 140 now so I'm taking him to the ER and will let you know the price.

[ufoend]

He is admitted and checking vitals. Any payment will go directly towards his treatment. I will update with that amount as soon as I can but please boost and send to anyone you know.

He just got a new nickname, Salami. We were just having happy moments together. I want him to be okay.

[ufoend]

600 to 800 WOULD GET HIM TREATED PLEASE BOOST

[ants-are-fascinating]

When ants die, a few days later they emit oleic acid, which tells the living ants to dispose of their corpse.

A myrmecologist named Ed Wilson discovered this and dropped the chemical on a living ant. It was immediately carried off, despite the fact that it was still moving, and clearly not dead.

[periegesisvoid-deactivated]

“I’M GETTING BETTER”

[kuroba101]

Bring out your dead. Eh, close enough.

[glitterandgrunge]

IM NOT YET DEAD SIR

[lazorsandparadox]

You left out the part where the ant, believing HERSELF to be dead, stayed in self imposed exile in the ant graveyard until the acid wore off and she realized she was not supposed to be in the ant graveyard.

[silent-wordsmith]

@finite-experience, this seems like the sort of thing you’d like to see

[mister-christmas]

Ant 1: To the ant graveyard with you

Ant 2: But I’m not dead

Ant 1: You smell dead

Ant 2: Fair enough

[eric-coldfire]

Ant 1: “I thought you were dead.”

Ant 2, after acid wears off: “I got better.”

[ottermatopoeia]

Ant 2, returning to the colony: i lived bitch

[goodbye-friends36293-deactivate]

Gender abolition, but make it:

clothes sorted by body shape and style, instead of gender

removing unnecessary gender markers from non-medical documents like a driver’s license

genderless bathrooms where the stalls have floor-to-ceiling walls for privacy

abolishing gendered toys, colors, professions, hobbies, etc.

they/them as the default if you don’t know someone

And NOT:

trans and non-binary people being barred from identifying with and expressing their gender

[dailydnp]

[brenna]

[ceruleanthing]

Well I never had the chance to watch Avatar the Last Airbender ever…. which sucks, but.. now it’s on the net flix so guess what ya boi’s doing !!!!!!

[ceruleanthing]

Man I dunno why Katara thinks Sokka’s so paranoid. If I saw a caillou lookin ass bitch come out of an iceberg with a six legged whateverthehell i would be suspicious and freak out too. Also Zuko please chill down

[ceruleanthing]

Caillou arrow boy why are you so nonchalant about being frozen for 100 years

[ceruleanthing]

“Relax Sokka, where we’re going you won’t need any pants!”

Aang what does that mean

What does that mean

[ceruleanthing]

Will you leAVE THAT POOR MAN’S CABBAGES ALONE

[ceruleanthing]

We gotta go see

In the fire nation

[ceruleanthing]

Those damn heterosexuals

[ceruleanthing]

Steampunk shit???? Steampunk shit????

Steampunk shit????

Steampunk shit????

[ceruleanthing]

I hate this whole Face Stealing shit. I’m going to die just don’t hurt my Boy

[ceruleanthing]

Thanks I hate it! I never want to see that millipede fuckass ever again

Oh she’s the fucking moon now

[ceruleanthing]

Do Not TOUCh my boys I’ll fucking cut you pPrincess Firebitch

[ceruleanthing]

No don’t float your hair down the river someone is going to Find It and then Find You and it will be Bad and I will cry

[ceruleanthing]

sECRET TUNNELLLLL

[ceruleanthing]

What if we kissed… in the labyrinth under a mountain… just kidding… unless…?😳

[ceruleanthing]

The earth kingdom city of

Oh no

Oh no

Oh shitfire

[ceruleanthing]

I think the only reason I was Going Apeshit over the avatar day ep is because I’d seen a lot of it with my friend once?? Even still, jesus fuckin christ 😂

[ceruleanthing]

The best reunion in cinematic history: Sokka and his boomerang

[ceruleanthing]

!!!! A GREMLIN

[ceruleanthing]

Sokka getting high off cactus water is something I’m less surprised about than I’d like to be. Also I wonder if those sandbender guys ever deal it out to people. Imagine. Cactus water cartels

[ceruleanthing]

Hm I think he’s just afraid of this one turning into the moon too-

[ceruleanthing]

Katara just made a direct callout post about me this isn’t allowed. Ma’am that isn’t allowed. She basically dished out rhetoric I give to other people all the time. I’m not the therapist friend per se but I am like… the shoulder-to-lean-on friend a lot of the time so hearing “..But now you’re not letting yourself feel anything. I know sometimes it hurts more to hope. And it hurts more to care. But you have to promise me that you won’t stop caring” hit me way harder than I thought it would now that it’s coming back at me, and now I Am crying. I Am

[ceruleanthing]

KATARA MOSES

[ceruleanthing]

nvm some rayquaza lookin-ass is about to merc them 😔👊

[ceruleanthing]

Listen I’m. Already having a shitty night. This leaves from the vine shit Did Not Help

[ceruleanthing]

arjssjjrjsjwjd epic rap haiku battles of history

[ceruleanthing]

I command this episode to stop murdering me

[ceruleanthing]

This Dai Li shit is freaking me the fuck out

[ceruleanthing]

Seeing the caption “[Dai Li screaming]” on the screen is very satisfying

[ceruleanthing]

Can these children never catch a fucking break

[ceruleanthing]

What the fuck is going on

[ceruleanthing]

Oh my god I’m dying!!!!!!! I love Sokka so much hes precious and a gift to this world the way he did that clappy thing and went :0 “Shopping!!!!!” GOD I fuxking. Love this boy. Forever

[ceruleanthing]

Sokka’s smile gives me MUCH serotonin

[ceruleanthing]

OH IROH’S FUCJIBG

MakjskajjwnebeSISIWKS HESS FUCJJIB HE S FUCKINGN RIPPED NOW YOOOO

[ceruleanthing]

“Seriously? It looks like the beach threw up all over it.”

…..me @ me

[ceruleanthing]

This forehead eye dude is fucking wack. What the hell and fuck

[ceruleanthing]

“Unfortunately, my success did not last, Aang.”

Of course it didn’t!!!!! It’s a motherfucking volcano!!!!!! What!! Did you think!!!! Was going!!! To happen!!!!!

[ceruleanthing]

[ceruleanthing]

Sparkysparky boom man!

[ceruleanthing]

S Sweatbending

[ceruleanthing]

ᵒʰ

[ceruleanthing]

bAbY yoUr’E mY drEaM giRL

[ceruleanthing]

I’m starting to think that Aang’s not just sleep deprived, he’s also high off his ass

[ceruleanthing]

Yo those tanks that are bendy???? They crawl??? Like the Insects???? Excuse???? 💜?????

[ceruleanthing]

“Your uncle has really gotten to you, hasn’t he?”

“Yes, he has.”

:D

:D

:D!!!!

[ceruleanthing]

My my. Combustion Man seems to have combustioned himself

[ceruleanthing]

Two bros chillin in a war balloon five feet apart cause they’re not gay

[ceruleanthing]

“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”

“That’s rough buddy.”

THATS AN ACTUAL QUOTE? I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS JUST MEMEING BECAUSE IT FUNNIE HAHA AND IT FITS W

This is the goddamn “Dash calls Danny a twink” situation ALL OVER AGAIN

[ceruleanthing]

Every time Sokka or Zuko smile or laugh, I go back a few seconds so I can see or hear it again

[ceruleanthing]

We can have one (1) time-wasting nonsense. As a Treat

[ceruleanthing]

This play is killing me I’m gong to die of secondhand embarrassment like actua- toPH OH MY FUCKING GOD

[ceruleanthing]

Toph: :D!! :D :D :D :D

Me:

[ceruleanthing]

Okay so does the island like… call upon people who are ‘lost’ in a few ways and make it so they are trapped there without knowing how until they find themself or some shit? It’s oddly specific speculation but like. I like the idea of an island that just fucking forces you to go to therapy

[ceruleanthing]

graMP GRAMP

[ceruleanthing]

I have NEVER cried over a reunion in a show or book or movie before now. Ever. Atla is breaking all kinds of records for me and I am having Emotions,

[ceruleanthing]

You know what? in a way I was right about it being therapy island

[ceruleanthing]

I got to see the absolutely stunning visuals and sweet conclusive scene of the end of this show… while shirtless in a dark pantry at 1am

[brawltogethernow]

Feel like I just speedran the whole series, op, thank you.

[beebeedibapbeediboop]

I've made ugly designs for anyone who would want them

[58kill]

Layers Upon Layers.

Muscle, Flesh.

Muscle, Flesh.

Muscle, Flesh.

I Can Survive Atmospheric Entry. OK?

[hollowtones]

this post makes me feel like we’re the only survivors on a space station hurtling towards certain doom & this Really Big Ape is trying to reassure me that he’ll make it back home safe even if the station’s final escape pod can only fit me inside 

i’m holding back tears… thank you, reuben…

[58kill]

I Am The Final Escape Pod.

Are You Ready?

[hungwy]

Imagine launching from a soon-to-implode space ship and your only escape was being cocooned in the massive burly arms of Reuben the Gorilla. Imagine him curling over you as you re-enter the atmosphere to act as a heat shield and you can smell the hairs scorching on his back but when you look up all you see is a solemn and calm gorilla face as if this was his one duty in life to fulfill. Imagine realizing there’s no possible way you could survive landing in the ocean at your velocity but the gorilla reconfigures into what is unmistakably the most elegant diving pose you’ve ever bore witness to, one arm pointed towards the sea and the other pressing you into his massive gorilla body, protecting your head from impact with the overhang of his pectorals. Imagine the cannon-like crack of piercing the water surface, how for a moment the sheer mass of gorilla surrounding you protected you from all contact with the water though you should’ve been entirely submerged; imagine the shocking immobilizing coldness of the ocean enveloping you a hundred feet down, and as you slowly drown in the salty sea the gorilla grabs your hand and kicks with all his stubby little gorilla-legged might towards the surface. Imagine fainting before you breach, your last sight being gorilla hairs waving in the current, so peaceful, so warm.

[58kill]

Ha.

[58kill]

Mmm

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

The spy chasing me throws a tracking device at my car. The throw is perfectly timed and the small, round device hits the bumper perfectly flush. However, since the tracker is magnetic and my shitty car is plastic, it bounces off

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

The spy is following me as I walk down the street. I bob in and out of shops. Pause and accelerate my pace randomly. Stop to tie my shoe so he loses sight of me. I stay perfectly out of his reach. This is all due to being sleep deprived, confused, hungry, and lost

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

The spy freezes my bank account. I do not notice for three weeks and only because Netflix sends me an email about non-payment

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

The spy chasing me does a stakeout at my house. After 4 days of trying to match my sleeping pattern he has to call HQ for backup

[hubwalker1]

What did you do that requires a spy to follow you so thoroughly?

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Honestly I have no idea. My best guess is that it's a misunderstanding

[notcraft]

Give em kiss >:0 

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

yall know what a dorcopsis is?

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

kangaroo corrupted by dark forces

[ejacutastic]

that's an italian greyhound

[iniro]

boys: ok

MONSTER BOYS:  🥺💗❤️💕💓😍 ✨✨💕💘💓

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

God i wish all real life billionaires were more like tony stark 😩

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

dead

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

its been 15 days since i made this post and in them both jeffrey epstein & david koch died maybe this site really is cursed after all

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

there was one more istg if fbi puts me on a watchlist,

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

oh my Godddd five in 17 days

[y0urbestie]

like to charge reblog to cast

[powerburial]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

This is the best Tumblr mobile glitch I’ve personally encountered in a long time