junior assistant dumbass in training

29, needs a nap

[qqchurch]

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[sadbenedict]

the monster's gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here...

(I get so emotional about dadjo plss I will go reread all fics)

[pvrrhadve]

[tlirsgender]

I'm really not a very angry person there's just a lot of rage inside me

[tlirsgender]

There's something terrible boiling bubbling under my skin ready to burst out of my chest but I'm a chill guy

[unwastelandunbaby]

“they’re just looking at each other” you could not begin to understand the complexities involved in looking at each other

[bl00dfroma-fairy]

[leehallfae]

@/girlglimmer (x) // @/christmas-winter (x) // fireflies - suzanne siegel // “orange and blue” - sarah jarosz // beautiful night - momcilo simic // christmas eve - julia andreevna petrova // @/hunting-brother (x) // @/bluecapsicum (x) // suzanne siegel

[k1tk4ttt]

How I feel reading smut while being scared of intimacy in real life

[vaninnavaninni]

When Monica Bellucci said: I love women and perhaps women feel it, and many of my friends are women. My universe is utterly feminine. I'm motivated by women. Women are my source of inspiration. Even when I go to the movies.... If there are no women... It's unlikely that I'll watch 'Master and Commander' because when there are no women on the screen, I get bored.

[bookcub]

me talking to random stangers: do you know about the libby app? it allows you to check out ebooks and audiobooks from your local library networks. libby can be installed on multiple mobile devices and opened on your desktop. i love libby so much and use it every day. you should too and you will also love libby.

[celestial-gremlin]

Are they lovers? Worse. They never got to be.

[bayesic-bitch]

Starting my speech at the Omelas city counsel with a child acknowledgement statement

[wulfhalls]

forever grateful i was simply too lazy to let the make up industrial complex get its hooks in me. I was just like im not doing all of that. im doing none of that in fact

[rohirric-hunter]

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[burins]

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change