trop pour dire

my intentions aren't even that impure, I'm actually kind of a pussy

[palmandlaser]

[midori-n]

Delicious, finally some good fucking food ____ Kitchen nightmares / Ratatouille crossover we all deserve

[kaijuno]

Where’s that one greentext about the guy on a cruise that clogged the toilet and got a maid that didn’t speak English so he showed her the clogged toilet and flushed and it went down so he basically just made the maid watch him flush a massive shit

[marianbyron]

this it?

[kaijuno]

YES

[sevdolo]

[okayysophia]

while stripping Africa of their resources to better themselves... yall won win!!!

[eliminated]

[thoughtkick]

“Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter.”

— Samuel J. Hurwitt

[pamanderson-deactivated20211006]

One thing abt Catwoman.. you know she’s gonna cut a circle in the glass w her nail

[hauntedsheephole]

some random woman’s thoughts: oh hey, he’s kind of hot.

Edward Cullen: Dear Diary. Today another WHORE vies for my affection. Existence is agony.

[domfather]

[sagebetweenthepages]

[wild-cabins]

[inkskinned]

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said "look! It's snowing!" so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn't the first snow and it won't be the last but wasn't it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you've been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn't it beautiful - I promise, you've been helping.

[adarkerbeamoflight]

"How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting."

[egotistic26]

[teaboot]

"I was unhappy with my service, and I will not be coming back!"

Cool. Don't

[teaboot]

"Be sure to pass my complaint along to management." I won't. In fact, I'm going to tell him you left a compliment. Eat ass

[teaboot]

"You've lost a customer!" No. No, I wouldn't call this a loss

[teaboot]

Ma'am I know this may come as a shock to you but the reason you're unhappy everywhere you go is because every time you go somewhere, you are there. And I can sympathize. Because I'm experiencing this problem right now, too. But together. I believe we can make it through this

[teaboot]

Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. I don't care

[teaboot]

*softly* you're an unpleasant person

[afloweroutofstone]

I wish there was a way to tell companies that I dislike an ad so much that I will actively avoid buying anything from them because of it

[mossgirl]

[perrfectly]

Taken in Venice by my friend