Izzy

Skulking and lurking

[imreadingapplesauce]

I think about the other Tachonis children and the cynical (but perhaps more realistic) part of me goes “sometimes people will not change and will continue to do harm, and there’s nothing we can do about that”

and then the hopeful optimistic part of me comes in like “but cycles can be broken it’s possible I know it is, there is always a better way forward”

and I don’t know which side of me is going to win out

[imreadingapplesauce]

guys i can’t stop thinking about needletrio, platonic romantic WHATEVER i just can’t stop thinking about them, like. occtis and thimble best friendism. whatever the fuck occtis and julien have going on. julien and thimble diametrically opposed on the surface but having the connection of the golden orchard and not dissimilar mindsets about revenge. literally the dynamic of all time to me

[chipthekeeper]

just really overwhelmed by the occtis and thimble of it all again like okay, childhood friends who only knew joy and innocence through each other even though they came from the MOST opposite worlds possible and then they get older and really can't/don't even see each other for years but then they're brought together again and it should be such a joy and a relief but it's in the middle of the biggest nightmare possible which only gets worse because then HE DIES and it's so much harder for him to feel anything now including the love he has for her but it's still there it's too strong for it to go away even when he thinks he's going to lose her too and THEN they get to hug for the FIRST TIME

HOW IS EVERYONE NOT INSANE ABOUT THIS

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

regarding the extra commentary in the tags on your Occtis post u recently made: speak ur truth. I want to hear it

Assuming you're talking about my tags on my post about how Occtis can be really easily read as a rape survivor, I will note I left them off the post less because I didn't want to talk about it, and more because it's off topic for a post talking about how one can make a read of the text of the campaign that quite strongly supports a read of Occtis as an allegorical rape survivor to talk about fandom behaviour even if it is tangentially related to the topic. The post has a specific scope and fandom is outside that. That being said I do have thoughts regarding the fandom.

For posterity my tags were: #there's also something to be said for how sexualized Occtis' undeath is in certain segments of the fandom #despite the absolute trauma of it and how he came to it

What I was getting with that is that there's a pattern of people who are only willing to engage with Occtis undeath and the effects thereof in terms of how they can use it as fuel for smut, his lack of a gag reflex being probably the most common in terms of being something which is a direct consequence of his undeath that gets inescapably sexualized within certain segments of the fandom, that mirrors how sometimes people are only willing to engage with topics of rape and sexual assault and the victims of that in terms of things that can be used for titillation, rather than serious topics and traumas that deserve discussion in their own rights.

In Occtis' particular case, there is a line that can be draw between how he gets treated in some parts of the Critical Role fandom to how Astarion gets treated by some segments of the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom. Both men have trauma related to violations of their bodily autonomy that gets ignored by these fans in favour of sexualizing the shit out of them, because both men fit into the white, skinny, young, and pretty mold that makes people willing to engage with them as sex objects.

[imreadingapplesauce]

how life feels bc I’m in another two week minecraft phase

[bluestrawberry7]

when will my husband return from the war (hiatus)

cr memes part 11

[bluestrawberry7]

I will not be stopped

cr4 memes part 10 jeez

[imreadingapplesauce]

for fanfic purposes: is there a good CR wiki to look at, or even just a wiki specifically for campaign 4, it seems like there might be multiple places I can look so I was wondering if there's one that's the most specific and comprehensive

[imreadingapplesauce]

I’ve tried to write fanfic multiple times in my life but I ended up just abandoning them every time because I couldn’t get past the hurdle of my own self awareness and accept that it didn’t matter if I was being cringe

However there is now an evil evil voice in the back of my mind telling me to write a fic about Occtis having a breakdown and the urge to write it may legitimately be stronger than my own internal cringe reaction

Please god I would love it if He’s Just Like Me Fr finally won out over What The Fuck Are You Doing

[bluestrawberry7]

more

(cr4 memes part 9)

[imreadingapplesauce]

The c4 hiatus is having a WAY more devastating effect on me than I hoped it would

Yesterday I was taking a walk and I passed somebody’s yard where there were clusters of big mushrooms growing, and my first thought was

“oh that would be a good place for Thimble to hide”

HUH???? HELLO?????? WHAT?????

First of all I don’t think Thimble needs me to give her tactical advice, second of all SHE’S NOT REAL!!!!!

I’m fucking.. imagining fairies hiding under mushrooms and dreaming about sentient masks and orcish playwrights, I need to get a grip

[sweet-jelly-tart]

PROJECT HAIL MARY TIME BABYYYY

[imreadingapplesauce]

One US congressman suddenly died and another was MIA for weeks, surely that’s the strangest thing happening in politics this week- oh what’s that? A UK town is facing an election where one of the only two candidates is a guy wearing a trash can on his head? And he’s lowkey the better candidate because the other guy is the epitome of cartoonish villainy? Wow that’s so funny ahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-

[dreams-of-ravens]

OCCTIS TACHONIS x DRAG PATH BY TWENTY ONE PILOTS

Longest edit I've ever made, and hooooo boy was it a doozy. Hope you like it! ☆

[imreadingapplesauce]

I’m having one of my many late-night-reflecting- on-my-life-choices moments, and this time it’s about how I wound up in the CR fandom

Not in a negative miserable way obviously, I love it here, but sometimes my brain just takes snapshots of moments with visceral clarity and I can’t help but think about them, and my brain did in fact take a snapshot of the exact moment I fell down the CR rabbit hole

It was while I was watching TLOVM for the first time, I was in the middle of the last episode of season 1, so Percy’s literal and metaphorical battle with his inner demon, and I was SO locked in, like absolutely glued to my seat-heart racing-tears in my eyes-please please don’t let him die right now* locked in

And I heard- or imagined I heard- something crack loudly

And at the time I just thought, oh it’s my brain manifesting my heart breaking into a sound it thinks it hears, for maximum dramatic effect

But now I think the sound wasn’t something BREAKING, but rather the sound of something slamming into place, the road appearing before me and me beginning the long inexorable walk, because goddammit I had to see this through, I WOULD see it through

And now that road has led me… here, rambling into the void in the middle of the night, another entry in a growing line of CR-related ramblings

Ain’t that just the way.

*”right now” might be my eternal monkey’s paw, because no, he did not die right then, But

[imreadingapplesauce]

I had a dream last night that I was in Edinburgh, I wasn’t there FOR the live show (maybe I couldn’t get tickets lol) but I was just there at the same time as the live show, and while I was walking around I ran into Alex and I was able to talk to him briefly and get a picture with him, so now I’m super jealous of dream-me lmao

[imreadingapplesauce]

that stupid fucking doomsday concept poster… Steve wearing a plain ass black shirt but being front and center while Sam is smaller and to the side… riiiiiiiight right right right. sure. sure. i see how it is.