yayyy

17 | They/Them

[imtoobiforthisshit]

hii introduction introduction introduction

Okay so you guys can call me Blue !! he/they/she (in this order) + neopronouns (ill make a list eventually but im mostly fine with all of them)

I'm 17yo (I'll be 18 this year)

I'm in 11th grade (I took 10th grade two times, and I'm retaking 11th grade, thanks to my mental health)

I'm kinda awkward so I'm sorry if my way of speaking can be weird, i just overthink words like A LOT so

📖currently reading: A Room Of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

I've a lot of interest, they come and go and it's like A LOT (list under the cut)

Some of my interest are:

music (every type, litteraly.)

stranger things (steddie mostly)

history, religion, humanities in general

creating and personalizing!!!

fast and furious (i am obsessed with the 2nd and 5th movie, suki is the love of my life and i survive for found family)

classic literature

Cartoons and animation (mainly paw patrol at the moment)

queer content and queer history!!!!!!!

Claude Monet and art (a dream of mine is to go to Giverny, it is only 2 hours away from where i live, will probably go next year!)

my letterboxd

[imtoobiforthisshit]

NEED someone to write a steddie fanfiction from Actor by Conan because ahhhh

[imtoobiforthisshit]

i dont even know if the fact that i cant study is the anxiety, the adhd, the depression, all of the above? but i know that im becoming absolutely insane

[imtoobiforthisshit]

Ive been feeling so empty the past few days, like even reading a 250k fanfiction didnt help which is literaly a first at this point

im thinking of watching a sad movie but i dont know which one (thinking of rewatching perks of being a wallflower or dead poets society but ugh i dont know if i want THAT MUCH emotional damage...)

[imtoobiforthisshit]

ended up watching perks of being a wallflower but like I cried but still feel empty so well I'm annoyed now

[imtoobiforthisshit]

Ive been feeling so empty the past few days, like even reading a 250k fanfiction didnt help which is literaly a first at this point

im thinking of watching a sad movie but i dont know which one (thinking of rewatching perks of being a wallflower or dead poets society but ugh i dont know if i want THAT MUCH emotional damage...)

[igotthejob]

this is every fanfic i read

[imtoobiforthisshit]

im trying to find a way to like have rewards and consequences to force myself to study

but dude do i have no discipline

rewards? why would i wait to have done the task to get it while i could get it now?

consequences? well i dont have to do it, no one is gonna force me?

[imtoobiforthisshit]

I realized that most of my classes are stuff that i like, theres history, languages, politics, philosophy, like most of it are humanities and all

I only have 2 stem classes which isnt a lot at all (which is a good thing)

realizing this really made me want to study more because that's fun, im gonna understand a lot and make my brain work it's going to be hard but it's really fun

[maximum-swag]

WAIT I FORGOR EDDIW IS FUCJING DEAD WTF WDYM HES NOT GAY AS HRLL FOR STEBE BC STEVE RESCURD HIM FROM THE IPSIDEDOWN

[imtoobiforthisshit]

I hung out with my bestfriends yesterday, and i think it made me realized how much i love them

i was myself for the first time ever, i felt so happy, almost high with not having to overthink everything that i said

i love my friends so bad it feels almost scary

[sapphuric-acid]

When I act femininely it's in a "gay man" way, not a "womanly" way.

When I wear flashy colors it's because I take pride in my fashion, not because I'm a femme.

When my hair is grown out, it's in a "glam rock" or "beach bum" or even a "stoner punk" kind of way, not in a "cute quirky gal" or "majestic young lady" way.

When I use dudebro language, it's "fun and laid-back", not "rude and improper".

When I use a polite tone, it's because I'm being nice to a stranger, not because I'm a subservient little thing.

I'm a "pretty boy", not a "cute girl".

I'm a "guy with a fat ass", not a "woman with child-bearing hips".

I'm a "short king", not a "little lady".

But you wouldn't see that, would you? How far do I have to go to get you to see me?

[imtoobiforthisshit]

Ive so much dysphoria today it's actually annoying me I should just go back to sleep

[imtoobiforthisshit]

i really really wanna go see superman, but giving 17€ to the big corporation theater isnt really fun :/ and the local theater doesnt have it

i could see like 4 movies at the local theater for this price, it really is frustrating

[imtoobiforthisshit]

the local movie theater has like good movies this week (conclave, some animations...) and it's only 4€ so idk what to do TT

the thing is conclave is one of my favorite movie so seeing it in theater seems fun, and its cheap...

but i really wanna watch superman, ig if i can't find an okay version to watch ill just go see it...

[imtoobiforthisshit]

i really really wanna go see superman, but giving 17€ to the big corporation theater isnt really fun :/ and the local theater doesnt have it

i could see like 4 movies at the local theater for this price, it really is frustrating

[imtoobiforthisshit]

i wanna do more stuff, yesterday i watched paris is burning and but im a cheerleader, i forced myself to go out with my sister

and i actually felt kinda good to like do stuff and not just lay in bed all summer (ik shocking right)

i think im gonna try going to the park or smth today, and like idk maybe make some patches or sew stuff on my clothes, i also have books to read so maybe read a little

anyway i wanna do stuff, im tired of losing brain cells by staring at the celling

[imtoobiforthisshit]

Everyone talk about how authors love to get comments under fanfiction, but dude we don't talk about how cool it is when the author answer your comments??? it makes me so so happy i love authors so bad

[unicorndaydreamz]

my hobbies consist of:

hoarding physical media

reading fanfic

yearning