Story Idea: Polin #39- Soul Marks
On your 18th birthday you get a soul mark - one that would be identical to your soulmates. Colin is devastated that his does not match Marina’s.
Trying to lighten up his mood days later - his brothers teasingly console him by saying that Penelope could get his mark when she turns 18 and that’s when she overhears him say that he would never marry her because he didn't think she's his soulmate.
And as is Penelope's life a couple years later she gets an identical mark. Now she plans to hide it because she can’t handle his disappointment.
“Penelope Featherington is certainly not my soulmate.”
She remembers the words clear as day, even months later. She remembers the way he’d said it more, as if the mere idea was hilarious to him. He had just discovered that Marina had already met her soulmate and had hidden the fact in hopes that he would marry her anyway. Penelope had seen no other path than to expose her cousin’s lie as Lady Whistledown by naming her soulmate as the late George Crane. To lie about one’s soulmate was the utmost taboo and to the Bridgertons, who saw soulmates as sacred, it was an unthinkable betrayal. It had been quite the scandal and Colin was left heartbroken.
Penelope had been on her way to visit Eloise when she overheard Colin and his brothers, the elder two teasing the younger to try and cheer him out of his depressed state. She hadn’t meant to listen in but when her name was mentioned she paused, only to regret her decision a moment later. She had always known that her dream of marrying Colin Bridgerton was simply that, nothing but fantasy, but to hear from his own mouth that he would never marry her was a blow that almost took her out completely.
Now, almost two years after the overheard conversation, Penelope is well and truly quite probably over her feelings for Colin Bridgerton. At least, that’s what she had thought.
When Penelope woke on her eighteenth birthday she instantly went to her mirror to examine her form in search of her soulmark. It wasn’t hard to find, located on her shoulder was a tiny yellow sun peeking out beneath the sleeve of her nightgown. It was no bigger than the tip of her pinky and she thought it cute against the paleness of her skin. It took only a few moments for her to fully comprehend what she was seeing. She had heard his mark described before, her closeness with his family allowing her access to such personal information, and had even seen it for herself once on an improper occasion involving a fall into the lake and a very transparent white shirt.
She began to wipe furiously at her skin until it is rosy and raw, the sun standing out more as though a sunset over painted skies, praying that it was some sort of mistake, some error that could be rectified. No matter what she did the mark remained unchanged and accepted two things in that moment. One, she was Colin Bridgerton’s soulmate, and two, she was still deeply in love with him despite her best efforts.
For, past the shame and embarrassment she had felt at seeing the twin mark, she was elated at the news. For so much of her life, she had dreamed of being Colin’s soulmate and now that dream had become a reality. A reality that felt like nothing more than a nightmare.
Colin did not want her. She could picture the disappointment in his eyes when she told him, the downward slant of his mouth that held nothing but regret. He would marry her, soulmates being sacred to the Bridgertons after all, but he would never love her and would grow to resent her. That was not how soulmates worked in the fairytale stories of her youth, where you met the person you were fated for, who saw you and understood you and loved you for everything you are. Penelope knew better. She knew the secrets of the ton after all.
She rings for her maid, a woman only a few years older than herself who has always been loyal to Penelope. Once she is dressed, she looks the young woman straight in the eyes and makes her swear that she saw nothing for there was nothing to see.
“I swear, miss,” she replies with a small curtsey before leaving the room.
Penelope takes another look in the mirror. They had chosen a dress with sleeves that capped lower than her usual frock and that hid her now most painful secret. She heads downstairs to break her fast. Neither her mother nor Prudence says anything to her outside a quiet good morning. She doubts that either of them will remember what the day is until someone points it out to them but that will not be her.
The rest of her morning is spent reading in the drawing room and obsessively counting down the minutes until she is expected for tea at the Bridgerton’s house. Every year Violet Bridgerton takes pity on her daughter’s best friend and insists that she come round for tea on her birthday. It’s a tradition that Penelope waits all year for but today she dreads it. She leaves her house at half past noon and takes small steps across the square. She may as well be marching toward the guillotine.
“Miss Featherington,” the Bridgerton’s butler greets her warmly. She tries to smile back, uses this as a first attempt at acting normal, but she feels she fails miserably when the older man looks at her with concern. He says nothing of course, simply leads her to the drawing room and announces her arrival.
“Pen!” All eight present Bridgertons crowd her at once, speaking their greetings over top of each other until Lady Bridgerton calls for order. Eloise stays close, taking Penelope into her arms and wishing her a happy birthday. The boys each smile at her and offer their well wishes in turn, except for Colin who steps closer and smiles down at her like the sun itself.
“Happy birthday, Pen.” His hand lifts and briefly touches her arm in a friendly gesture. His skin burns hers, the soulmark only a few inches away from his fingers branding deeper into her flesh. She cannot stop herself from staring at him intensely and his gaze never wavers until Francesca steps between them to give her own hug.
‘Can I see your mark, Penelope?” Her head whips towards the voice.
“Hyacinth!” Lady Bridgerton reprimands. “I told you, it is impolite to ask such a thing.” The older woman offers Penelope an apologetic smile.
Before she can think of anything to say, Eloise tugs her over toward the mountain of sweets and tea tray set up in the middle of the room. There is even a plate of eclairs, her favorite. The room’s other occupants go back to whatever they were doing before the interruption of her arrival. Colin comes over to where they stand but as always seems more interested in the food than their conversation.
“As you know,” Eloise starts in a hushed voice, “I believe the idea of soulmates to be antiquated and ridiculous, but I know how much you have always idealized the notion. So, how does it feel?” There is an eagerness to her question that contradicts her words.
Time slows so much it might as well stop entirely. Penelope had spent the morning going over exactly what she would say if she were questioned, knowing that it was a likely chance between Hyacinth’s romantic curiosity and Eloise’s familiarity. She pauses now though, afraid of the consequences of her intended words. To lie about one’s soulmate was the utmost taboo and to the Bridgertons, who saw soulmates as sacred, it was an unthinkable betrayal. Could she really lie about this? Her being Lady Whistledown was a secret she kept for her own security and in a way, this would be as well. To protect herself from a broken heart. To protect Colin from a lifetime of misery.
After all, what was more believable? That she, Penelope Featherington, was the soulmate of one of the most eligible gentlemen in London or that the ton’s least favored wallflower was born to live her life as a lonely old spinster?
She opens her mouth and seals her fate with five words. “I don’t have a soulmate.”
OK I'm going to attempt to do a Colin POV where he suffers and pays for his words.. And also maybe gets some hope:
"I don't have a soulmate"
She said it so casually, with such resignation and lightness, as if she didn't realized she had just pulled the rug from under his feet. He felt like he couldn't breathe and could see his brother's concerned eyes from across the room.
"I'm so sorry Pen!" his sister exclaimed and Penelope just shrugged "It's ok, it wasn't meant to be for me." she said and he finally identified some emotion on her part about the whole ordeal through the slight tremor in her voice.
He wanted to hug her, he wanted to console her, he wanted to ask her to give him a chance, to tell her she was his even if he wasn't hers, that he was bound to love her his whole life. To beg her to let him love her, even if she could never love him.
And the Hyacinth said the damming words "Don't worry, I read that there's others without one and that a theory has proved that it just means you have multiple ones, that you can choose who to love"
Penelope looked at his sister en shook and he wanted to strangle her. There was no need in making things more difficult for him, he had already made things difficult for himself assuming she was bound to get his mark, that she would be his and he would be hers and that would be it. His best friend would be his wife.
But alas Penelope just said "Oh!" with a barely there grimace and quick glance at himself that made him wonder if she knew he was bound to her, that she could choose him, and still choose spinsterhood over him. And even if it was just a passing through, and even if he imagined it broke his heart all over again.
"Truly I think it's because my real soulmate is Eloise, I'm just not meant for romantic love" she quickly added holding his sister's hand as the pair smiled to each others.
"Yeah well, if mister weird flower ever shows up he'll have to deal with the fact that you're my soulmate too" retorted Eloise haughty making Pen giggle in that way of hers that always made him feel better... Only this time it took his breath away in a completely different way.
"I... Need to go..." he's stammered needing to get away, needing to feel his pain where it wouldn't taint her.
"We promised Dupont we'd meet him at the club, right Benedict?" Anthony completed, in that commanding tone he hated when it chastised him but now couldn't be more grateful for.
"Yes!" exclaimed Benedict, inmediately turning to Pen and adding "Don't worry, I'm sure there's someone so hopelessly in love with you he will not mind having to pry you from my sister's clutches".
This made Penelope laugh, a true uncontrolled laugh that gave him a bit of hope until she said "I seriously doubt that".
And he hated and loved his brother simultaneously when he responded with a wink and a "Believe me, I know him". Leaving Penelope speechless as he crossed the room and he and Anthony pulled him outside.
"You know, literally trying to drown your sorrows won't do anything to help your case" said Anthony as Colin his pity party with the second half of his 3rd bottle of whiskey.
"Doesn't matter, I was cursed by my own words and now bound to live a cursed existence" his brothers looked at each other as Colin continued to mope.
"Stop being so overly dramatic Colin, there must be a solution" Anthony said with a confidence that felt more staged than Colin's weary heat could take.
"When I said she was certainly not my soulmate I knew I was lying before I even finished the sentence, and now it's true. She's not mine, I'm hers but she isn't mine"
"Look at the bright side" said Benedict carefully "she could have gotten a reciprocated mark that wasn't yours, you still have a chance. Slim as it might be"
And Colin contemplated his brother's words, he was right in a way. He imagined Penelope in the hands of an unknown man, matching marks and smiles, her bright eyes shining for this stranger, her twinkling laugh encompassing someone else, her beautiful thoughts shared with her soulmate as he watched on the sidelines. Worst of all he imagined her leaving, moving out of her house into her husband's, out of Colin's life into her soulmate's, and knew that God had been merciful enough to let him keep her in his life. It still didn't cure the pain he felt, he knew nothing but her ever would.
"I'm never gonna marry. It's her or no one" he declared, knowing he could never pretend to be like her, to be able to choose when his heart had been settled on her before he even understood it was, before he comprehend that everything he felt for her was love and not friendship.
"Then we make sure it's her" said Benedict resolutely. And at Colin's grateful expression Anthony couldn't help but add "After all, how hard can it be to convince her to give you at least one chance? Your devotion alone should be able to get you a chance"
They had no idea.
