Not all of us can have the wisdom extra legs bring

QI Elf, Gamesmaster, Etc! [PP:Anastasia-Of-The-Storm]

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

does anyone know how to talk to girls

[ineffag-swag]

I guess I must have amazing taste because somehow everything that I like are things that I enjoy

[ottoillustrates]

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[ezekestiel]

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

[wayfire-official]

Sex should have a secondary gameplay loop where you build bases, manage resources, and expand your territory

[betweenheroesandvillains]

petition to make Americans google “euro” before writing fic

[supportive-snapmaw]

If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo

[ghstbusting]

tag credit to @teashoesandhair

[kingcatnine]

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

[seven-oh-four]

my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!

[kingcatnine]

any intruders are welcome to join us for story time

[cvntkisser]

my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.

[kingcatnine]

when will it be my turn.

[o-kenki]

[kingcatnine]

holy fuck

[kingcatnine]

happy one year to bedtime yaoi

[bowsersex]

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

[bowsersex]

Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.

[evildevil42]

if i ever had godlike powers over the nature of animals i'd just make crabs smarter. like on par with crows or something. you'll walk out onto the pier at night and see a group of crabs working together to drag an unconscious man into the water. you can't help him now. he's gone.

[butchfagminotaur]

a reminder to transfems that you aren’t a walking fetish toy you are a full and beautiful and wonderful human being and anyone who only wants you for your girldick and doesn’t give a shit about your actual personality isn’t someone you want around you

[drchucktingle]

WOW I AM BLOWN AWAY BY HOW AMAZING AND TALENTED I AM

[drchucktingle]

it really is shocking how much self deprecation is seen as a cultural requirement for 'serious art.' 'real' artists are not allowed to exalt their work and must present it publicly as a sort of 'i dont think this is very good but maybe you will get around to it.' HECK THAT. love yourself

[pangur-and-grim]

all books should be written by deeply damaged autistic perverts

[ssajin]

@pangur-and-grim ?

[pangur-and-grim]

YOU DON'T NEED TO TAG ME ON THIS, I WROTE THE POST

[papayajuan2019]

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

[friendlyfatigue]

remember when linguini brought a rat he found back to his apartment and got all embarrassed and was like it’s not much. to the rat

[ivy-saurs]

every time i see someone pay their bus fare with their apple watch i always think of this tweet

[dogpuppy]

[adastrabbit]

"hogwash" still one of the best words ever. this shit is so unbelievable its pig water